GDB MINUS 1: Emotional faceoffs

Wanye
September 27 2009 05:17PM

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And so the preseason that saw the return of Mike Comrie, the continued fall of Rob Schremp and the dehydration of Nikolai Khabibulin draws to a close with tonight’s tilt against the Canucks. And about time if you ask us – although an uninspired preseason could lead to a brick of a start to the regular season too.

We have had the honour of observing a great many of these preseason games and like many in the Nation we are starting to shake our head at the preseason version of these Edmonton Oilers of ours. To say that the Oilers have been, well unemotional at best, is an understatement.

Anyone catch the game against the Flames? Good gravy was that a stink bomb. And the most recent outing against the Bolts? It probably left many in the City of Winnipeg thankful they haven’t had to pay that kind of money to watch that bad of an end to a game since the Jets left.

Yes, it’s a nerve racking time to be a fan of the 2009-2010 Edmonton Oilers. We traditionally use this preseason hockey to irrationally seize upon heroes, goats or anything in between to carry us through the long winter. And with the exception of Comrie's four point night and the continued emergence of young Eberle, there hasn't been much for us to get wound up about.

quinn2

Hopefully the Mighty Oil can start to show some life in this final preseason game tonight. We would be even more concerned if it weren’t for the presence of Coaching Newbies Pat Quinn and Tom Renney though. They seem to be watching things from the bench, arms crossed in thinkery and building some sort of plan. One must imagine that they have come to the following conclusions:

Fact: Sheldon Souray can wire the puck. This probably took about eleven seconds for the Coaching Staff to figure out, if they didn't already know it to begin with. Mr Sexy hasn't lost a step nor a MPH over the offseason and should be counted on to have another excellent campaign.

Fact: Jordan Eberle will eventually be a dandy. Even if the kid is eventually sent back down to Junior, Jordan Eberle has stamped his mark on the hearts of many an Oiler fan in the past couple of weeks. It may not be today, but at some point in the near future he is going to take to the ice for his rookie campaign as an Oiler and will give us many a thrill in the process.

Fact: Khabibulin is old and old things tend to try out quickly. So what exactly happened the other night against the Flames to our new 'tender? (whispers in ear) He got dehydrated? Doesn't that only happen to long distance Kenyan runners on mile 367 of a marathon? It happened in preseason hockey? How many years have we signed him for?

(insert awkward pause here)

Fact: The Oilers in their current state absolutely blow at faceoffs. This is really starting to get out of control. We watched the game against the Lightning with a buddy who doesn't really follow hockey all too much. We consider him a work in progress and often sit him in front of a TV and ply him with alcahol and explain all of the tiny details about the Oilers that he could never figure out on his own. At some point during the third period he leaned over and said "boy, the Oilers sure aren't good at winning those puck drops are they?"

When a European-Canadian of dubious lineage, who doesn't even follow the game can spot this glaring hole - things are getting dire indeed.

Fact: The only thing lower than the faceoff % of these here Oilers is their emot-o-meter as seen is the graph below charting the performance of the Oilers in the preseason:

preseasongraph

Job Numero Uno Tonight: EMOTION

Alrighty Oilers. Listen up and listen good. It seems that the entire corps of Centremen have somehow made it into the NHL without passing Faceoffs 101 in Minor Hockey. We will leave this glaring and horrifying hole aside for the moment in the hope that you are merely saving all your faceoff wins for the regular season.

There are few other valid excuses for your absolutely abysmal performance in the circle of late. But there are even fewer reasons we can think of that would justify the cyborgian lack of emotion you have been displaying thus far. We have seen long term coma patients that have more jump to them than you.

Despite our better judgement we will be in RX1 again this evening, crushing $8 hockey beers and trying to pretend that things are going to be OK. Maybe do your increasingly nervous fans a favour and show a little jump on the eve of the regular season will you? Geez.

Lineups

Here are your lineups for tonight’s game, courtesy of the Oilers website. Try and guess which team is which!

Khabibulin gets the start, Pisani, Moreau and Pouliot remain injured.

5 Ladislav Smid D 10 Shawn Horcoff C 13 Andrew Cogliano LW 19 Patrick O'Sullivan RW 22 J-F Jacques LW 24 Steve Staios D 27 Dustin Penner LW 33 Steve MacIntyre RW 35 Nikolai Khabibulin G 38 Jeff Deslauriers G 43 Jason Strudwick D 44 Sheldon Souray D 46 Zack Stortini RW 67 Gilbert Brule C 71 Lubomir Visnovsky D 77 Tom Gilbert D 83 Ales Hemsky RW 85 Liam Reddox LW 89 Sam Gagner C 91 Mike Comrie C

And here is your other lineup, starting with Cory Schneider in net. A suckier bunch of sucks hath not existed if you ask us:

3 Kevin Bieksa D 5 Christian Ehrhoff D 6 Sami Salo D 8 Willie Mitchell D 14 Alex Burrows RW 18 Steve Bernier RW 21 Mason Raymond LW 22 Daniel Sedin LW 24 Darcy Hordichuk LW 29 Aaron Rome D 30 Andrew Raycroft G 33 Henrik Sedin C 35 Cory Schneider G 37 Rick Rypien C 39 Cody Hodgson C 42 Kyle Wellwood C 55 Shane O'Brien D 56 Matt Pope RW 65 Sergei Shirokov 73 Tanner Glass RW

Final note

Did anyone notice the Canucks have a player named Tanner Glass? Is that a terrible name or what?

Prediction: Oilers 4 Canucks 2.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#201 TonyT
September 27 2009, 08:41PM
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If Tom Gilbert keeps shooting like that, I will stop complaining about his lack of physicality. Best game of the pre-season so far.

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#202 jake
September 27 2009, 08:46PM
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We shouldn't get too far ahead of ourselves but imagine, just imagine if Jacques could muster this type of effort for a big big chunk of the season on that top line, with a cap hit of ........550,000 (nhl numbers site)...sigh,,,,

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#203 Shapeman
September 27 2009, 08:47PM
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@ jake: lol would be one of the best contracts in NHL history

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#204 Shapeman
September 27 2009, 08:48PM
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well im off to hit they hay. I get to laugh at my friends for laughing at me picking comrie in our pool. Ah the smell of victory..

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#205 Shapeman
September 27 2009, 08:48PM
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also looks like quin is getting ready to speak now

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#206 Eric
September 27 2009, 08:50PM
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And tonight's game winning goal, scored by Sheldon ( my pick for hero) Souray!!!!!

That, to go along with the four goals allowed by (my goat pick), The West Edmonton Wall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#207 Shapeman
September 27 2009, 08:51PM
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@ Eric: um hate to burst your bubble but gilbert scored the goal sorry....

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#208 Eric
September 27 2009, 08:53PM
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@ Shapeman:

Aw, come on... give me the two for two...

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#209 BarryS
September 27 2009, 08:53PM
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@ Eric: And Vancouver got three on the PP and no chance for Habi on any of the four

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#210 Cool Beans
September 27 2009, 08:54PM
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Cuts coming tonight!

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#211 Shapeman
September 27 2009, 08:54PM
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@ Eric: well i would but currently ON ahs no edit or delete post function it seems i could use it alot...

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#212 Jonathan Willis
September 27 2009, 08:58PM
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Training camp cuts to be announced shortly.

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#213 Shapeman
September 27 2009, 09:00PM
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@ Jonathan Willis *GASP* they lied to us! they said cuts would be made tomorrow morning!

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#214 David S
September 27 2009, 09:01PM
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Jonathan Willis wrote:

Training camp cuts to be announced shortly.

Holy crap. At least the amount of speculation on here is about to drop off.

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#215 BarryS
September 27 2009, 09:02PM
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David S wrote:

Jonathan Willis wrote: Training camp cuts to be announced shortly. Holy crap. At least the amount of speculation on here is about to drop off.

Not necessarily because of three injured players a couple may not be made

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#216 Jonathan Willis
September 27 2009, 09:05PM
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@ David S:

I don't think all the cuts get made tonight. Just the obvious ones.

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#217 BarryS
September 27 2009, 09:07PM
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One last speculation, tonights lineup all makes the cut

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#218 Dallas
September 27 2009, 09:15PM
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Did anyone have a bad game? I don't think Nilsson gets sent down. We would lose him for nothing. And can everyone who spells Gagners name Ganger PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!! Stop god it's annoying THANKS

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#219 Jonathan Willis
September 27 2009, 09:16PM
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General information for everyone:

It isn't acceptable to post solely to take potshots at other people.

Please adjust your comments accordingly *coughgravediggercough*

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#220 BarryS
September 27 2009, 09:17PM
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@ Dallas: Just because many of us can't spell or type good is no reason to freak out. Settle down.

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#221 Jonathan Willis
September 27 2009, 09:20PM
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Six cuts:

Dubnyk Brennan Schremp Peckham Chorney Eberle

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#222 Robin Brownlee
September 27 2009, 09:20PM
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OILER ROSTER CUTS TONIGHT Devan Dubnyk Jordan Eberle Rob Schremp Kip Brennan Taylor Chorney Theo Peckham

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#223 Shapeman
September 27 2009, 09:20PM
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@ Dallas: wow that was entirely my abd typing so sorry then *gagner*

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#224 BarryS
September 27 2009, 09:20PM
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@ Jonathan Willis: Wiil do.

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#225 Jonathan Willis
September 27 2009, 09:21PM
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@ Robin Brownlee:

Tie?

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#226 Shapeman
September 27 2009, 09:22PM
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@ Robin Brownlee: ooohoohoohoo brownlee got beat by JW there might wanna get teh turbo walker out =P

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#227 Jonathan Willis
September 27 2009, 09:23PM
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Fun story, and one I've seen a few times:

A guy, with a totally awesome life, taking the time to string comments (which are often barely coherent and always negative) fighting against another guy with the ability to delete his comments.

I imagine that a complaint about free speech is up next.

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#228 Archaeologuy
September 27 2009, 09:23PM
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@ Jonathan Willis: How's the new job been treatng you JW? Do you still work your "real" job or is this all full time for you now like Wanye (well not exactly like Wanye*)?

*I dont imagine youve made a fort out of granola bars and Bud Light yet, but Wanye...

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#229 Robin Brownlee
September 27 2009, 09:24PM
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@ Shapeman: Yes, I'll be leaving all the breaking news to Willis from now on.

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#230 hamburgler
September 27 2009, 09:24PM
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No shocks on those cuts. This is going to be an interesting few days to see what else shakes down. It's nice to see guys like Brule and Jacques go out and play the way they needed to. Love the competition.

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#231 Jonathan Willis
September 27 2009, 09:25PM
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@ Robin Brownlee:

Please don't...

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#232 Jonathan Willis
September 27 2009, 09:25PM
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@ Archaeologuy:

No, I still have a day job. The new job helps but it's got a ways to go yet for me to do this full-time.

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#233 Shapeman
September 27 2009, 09:26PM
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if my commnet awaiting moderation gets chucked out i say good on Bingofuel with his quick editing stuff.

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#234 Cool Beans
September 27 2009, 09:28PM
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How many days due we wait to see if Shremp gets claimed?

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#235 Jonathan Willis
September 27 2009, 09:29PM
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Peckham on IR, not cut, apparently.

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#236 Shapeman
September 27 2009, 09:29PM
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oh noes peckham get better soon we need your minigator-ness

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#237 BarryS
September 27 2009, 09:29PM
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Correction. Peckham on IR not reassignment

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#238 Jonathan Willis
September 27 2009, 09:30PM
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@ Cool Beans:

I believe it's 24 hours. The radio guys figure it's less than 50/50 Schremp gets claimed; I tend to agree with them.

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#239 Cool Beans
September 27 2009, 09:31PM
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Jonathan Willis wrote:

@ Cool Beans: I believe it’s 24 hours. The radio guys figure it’s less than 50/50 Schremp gets claimed; I tend to agree with them.

I think he'll clear

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#240 Cool Beans
September 27 2009, 09:32PM
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If Shremp gets claimed, he has to go on an NHL roster and I'm not sure a team would use the roster spot. I hope he gets claimed, I'm curious to see how a change of scenery would help him.

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#241 Jonathan Willis
September 27 2009, 09:35PM
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@ Cool Beans:

Nashville maybe.

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#242 Deans
September 27 2009, 09:38PM
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I think Tampa might be interested in Shremp, they need someone to play with Vinny

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#243 Porter
September 27 2009, 09:38PM
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Pouliot has a "pubis" problem - HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA

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#244 Archaeologuy
September 27 2009, 09:39PM
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Has anyone heard anything about the European guys like MPS, Omark et al and the begginning of their seasons yet? I would have liked to have seen them in Camp and bolstering the Falcons lineup.

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#245 Jonathan Willis
September 27 2009, 09:40PM
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@ Archaeologuy:

Omark is apparently unhappy in the KHL. MPS had a great first game in the SEL.

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#246 Robin Brownlee
September 27 2009, 09:42PM
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Porter wrote:

Pouliot has a “pubis” problem – HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA

Grow up, dillweed. It's an injury, so where's the hilarity in that?

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#247 Archaeologuy
September 27 2009, 09:42PM
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Jonathan Willis wrote:

Omark is apparently unhappy in the KHL

Inconceivable!

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#248 snoodle
September 27 2009, 10:02PM
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JW are those cuts confirmed?

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#249 Jonathan Willis
September 27 2009, 10:03PM
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@ snoodle:

The Oilers PR department supplied them, and was apparently the group that messed up on Peckham too.

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#250 Porter
September 27 2009, 10:04PM
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Robin Brownlee wrote:

Porter wrote: Pouliot has a “pubis” problem – HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA Grow up, dillweed. It’s an injury, so where’s the hilarity in that?

There have been lots of cracks like that on this site over its existence...

Just trying to have a good time. No seriousness intended.

I think Pouliot has some tools, but has not been able to put it together. It's a shame, but he's probably done with the Oil.

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