GDB MINUS 1: Emotional faceoffs

Wanye
September 27 2009 05:17PM

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And so the preseason that saw the return of Mike Comrie, the continued fall of Rob Schremp and the dehydration of Nikolai Khabibulin draws to a close with tonight’s tilt against the Canucks. And about time if you ask us – although an uninspired preseason could lead to a brick of a start to the regular season too.

We have had the honour of observing a great many of these preseason games and like many in the Nation we are starting to shake our head at the preseason version of these Edmonton Oilers of ours. To say that the Oilers have been, well unemotional at best, is an understatement.

Anyone catch the game against the Flames? Good gravy was that a stink bomb. And the most recent outing against the Bolts? It probably left many in the City of Winnipeg thankful they haven’t had to pay that kind of money to watch that bad of an end to a game since the Jets left.

Yes, it’s a nerve racking time to be a fan of the 2009-2010 Edmonton Oilers. We traditionally use this preseason hockey to irrationally seize upon heroes, goats or anything in between to carry us through the long winter. And with the exception of Comrie's four point night and the continued emergence of young Eberle, there hasn't been much for us to get wound up about.

quinn2

Hopefully the Mighty Oil can start to show some life in this final preseason game tonight. We would be even more concerned if it weren’t for the presence of Coaching Newbies Pat Quinn and Tom Renney though. They seem to be watching things from the bench, arms crossed in thinkery and building some sort of plan. One must imagine that they have come to the following conclusions:

Fact: Sheldon Souray can wire the puck. This probably took about eleven seconds for the Coaching Staff to figure out, if they didn't already know it to begin with. Mr Sexy hasn't lost a step nor a MPH over the offseason and should be counted on to have another excellent campaign.

Fact: Jordan Eberle will eventually be a dandy. Even if the kid is eventually sent back down to Junior, Jordan Eberle has stamped his mark on the hearts of many an Oiler fan in the past couple of weeks. It may not be today, but at some point in the near future he is going to take to the ice for his rookie campaign as an Oiler and will give us many a thrill in the process.

Fact: Khabibulin is old and old things tend to try out quickly. So what exactly happened the other night against the Flames to our new 'tender? (whispers in ear) He got dehydrated? Doesn't that only happen to long distance Kenyan runners on mile 367 of a marathon? It happened in preseason hockey? How many years have we signed him for?

(insert awkward pause here)

Fact: The Oilers in their current state absolutely blow at faceoffs. This is really starting to get out of control. We watched the game against the Lightning with a buddy who doesn't really follow hockey all too much. We consider him a work in progress and often sit him in front of a TV and ply him with alcahol and explain all of the tiny details about the Oilers that he could never figure out on his own. At some point during the third period he leaned over and said "boy, the Oilers sure aren't good at winning those puck drops are they?"

When a European-Canadian of dubious lineage, who doesn't even follow the game can spot this glaring hole - things are getting dire indeed.

Fact: The only thing lower than the faceoff % of these here Oilers is their emot-o-meter as seen is the graph below charting the performance of the Oilers in the preseason:

preseasongraph

Job Numero Uno Tonight: EMOTION

Alrighty Oilers. Listen up and listen good. It seems that the entire corps of Centremen have somehow made it into the NHL without passing Faceoffs 101 in Minor Hockey. We will leave this glaring and horrifying hole aside for the moment in the hope that you are merely saving all your faceoff wins for the regular season.

There are few other valid excuses for your absolutely abysmal performance in the circle of late. But there are even fewer reasons we can think of that would justify the cyborgian lack of emotion you have been displaying thus far. We have seen long term coma patients that have more jump to them than you.

Despite our better judgement we will be in RX1 again this evening, crushing $8 hockey beers and trying to pretend that things are going to be OK. Maybe do your increasingly nervous fans a favour and show a little jump on the eve of the regular season will you? Geez.

Lineups

Here are your lineups for tonight’s game, courtesy of the Oilers website. Try and guess which team is which!

Khabibulin gets the start, Pisani, Moreau and Pouliot remain injured.

5 Ladislav Smid D 10 Shawn Horcoff C 13 Andrew Cogliano LW 19 Patrick O'Sullivan RW 22 J-F Jacques LW 24 Steve Staios D 27 Dustin Penner LW 33 Steve MacIntyre RW 35 Nikolai Khabibulin G 38 Jeff Deslauriers G 43 Jason Strudwick D 44 Sheldon Souray D 46 Zack Stortini RW 67 Gilbert Brule C 71 Lubomir Visnovsky D 77 Tom Gilbert D 83 Ales Hemsky RW 85 Liam Reddox LW 89 Sam Gagner C 91 Mike Comrie C

And here is your other lineup, starting with Cory Schneider in net. A suckier bunch of sucks hath not existed if you ask us:

3 Kevin Bieksa D 5 Christian Ehrhoff D 6 Sami Salo D 8 Willie Mitchell D 14 Alex Burrows RW 18 Steve Bernier RW 21 Mason Raymond LW 22 Daniel Sedin LW 24 Darcy Hordichuk LW 29 Aaron Rome D 30 Andrew Raycroft G 33 Henrik Sedin C 35 Cory Schneider G 37 Rick Rypien C 39 Cody Hodgson C 42 Kyle Wellwood C 55 Shane O'Brien D 56 Matt Pope RW 65 Sergei Shirokov 73 Tanner Glass RW

Final note

Did anyone notice the Canucks have a player named Tanner Glass? Is that a terrible name or what?

Prediction: Oilers 4 Canucks 2.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#251 Jonathan Willis
September 27 2009, 10:04PM
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@ snoodle:

And all of them are up on the Oilers' twitter feed.

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#252 snoodle
September 27 2009, 10:04PM
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cool thanks

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#253 cableguy
September 27 2009, 10:11PM
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@ snoodle:

sweet lord that is a brave choice for a handle...

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#254 Andrew W
September 27 2009, 10:28PM
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Jonathan Willis wrote:

No, I still have a day job. The new job helps but it’s got a ways to go yet for me to do this full-time.

If you don't mind my asking, what is your day job? Do you have formal training in statistical analysis that you use professionally or is it just a passion that you apply to hockey?

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#255 Jorge
September 27 2009, 10:31PM
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Andrew W wrote:

Jonathan Willis wrote: No, I still have a day job. The new job helps but it’s got a ways to go yet for me to do this full-time. If you don’t mind my asking, what is your day job? Do you have formal training in statistical analysis that you use professionally or is it just a passion that you apply to hockey?

I was just going to ask the same thing. What does he great JW do besides this awesomeness

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#256 Travis Dakin
September 27 2009, 10:38PM
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Robin Brownlee wrote:

Porter wrote: Pouliot has a “pubis” problem – HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA Grow up, dillweed. It’s an injury, so where’s the hilarity in that?

Is that anything like the problem that Tarnstrom had a few years ago. Apparently that was some extremely painful shizen.

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#257 snoodle
September 27 2009, 10:38PM
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ha ha thanks cable guy, you are the first to say something, totally just an attention grabbing name

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#258 cableguy
September 27 2009, 10:43PM
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snoodle wrote:

ha ha thanks cable guy, you are the first to say something, totally just an attention grabbing name

~and here i had just assumed you named yourself after your favorite hobby.~

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#259 snoodle
September 27 2009, 10:48PM
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haha not quite....

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#260 snoodle
September 27 2009, 10:55PM
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stink finger this is colonel muff dawg...

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#261 sofapimp
September 27 2009, 10:55PM
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did anyone mention quinn all but said stone is on the team or old news

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#262 esa tikkanen
September 27 2009, 11:19PM
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does anyone know how to find Stone's ahl career faceoff stats? is he more of a center or a winger?

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#263 Jonathan Willis
September 27 2009, 11:41PM
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Andrew W wrote:

If you don’t mind my asking, what is your day job? Do you have formal training in statistical analysis that you use professionally or is it just a passion that you apply to hockey?

I'm mostly a jack-of-all-trades at an oilfield construction outfit. I'm a fourth-year instrument mechanic apprentice, a level III first aid guy, and what I'm doing right now is quality control and design.

As for formal training, I did a year of university studies (I wanted to be an engineer) but the scholarship money ran out and I figured trades was a better return on investment. As it turns out, I now use all that schooling (aside from the chemistry) that I took; either at my day job or here.

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#264 esa tikkanen
September 27 2009, 11:44PM
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so jonathan you are the stats expert. can you tell us Stone's career faceoff percentage stats in the AHL? how about in junior? thanks

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#265 Joey Moss
September 28 2009, 12:24AM
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Jorge wrote:

What does he great JW do besides this awesomeness

WAT?

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#266 RossCreek
September 28 2009, 01:00AM
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Robin Brownlee wrote:

#246 Robin Brownlee September 27 2009, 9:42 pm. Porter wrote: Pouliot has a “pubis” problem – HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA Grow up, dillweed.

Now that is hilarious. Dillweed. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah Nuthin like reading thru 2 threads and over 300 comments after midnite on a Sunday, but I now feel justified in doing so after Brownlee's Dillweed comment. Dillweed. What an awesome word!

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#267 RossCreek
September 28 2009, 01:07AM
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@ cableguy: @ snoodle: OMG! I just looked up "snoodle"... ... then I puked in my mouth! wtf? wtF@#$?!

8-(

:'-(

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#268 HOFFA
September 28 2009, 05:02AM
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Not a name to be seen on a hockey site...... seriously wtf...?

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#269 Petr's Jofa
September 28 2009, 06:07AM
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@ RossCreek:

I agree. I love the old school insults that Brownlee drops.

Looks like my beer induced prediction of Jacques as the 2009-10 Star is once step closer to fruition. And by one step closer, I mean it's unlikely that he'll be in the AHL on opening day.

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#270 cableguy
September 28 2009, 07:23AM
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RossCreek wrote:

@ cableguy: @ snoodle: OMG! I just looked up “snoodle”… … then I puked in my mouth! wtf? wtF@#$?! 8-( :’-(

kinda what i was getting at..

im surprised the almighty bingofuel lets it slide...

damn 100.3fm and their damn really tough contest ruining the minds of society one peanut brain at a time

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#271 R Kenny
September 28 2009, 07:31AM
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Assuming that: - Peckham, MacIntyre and Reddox will be cut - Brule and Jacques make the team

That leaves 3 roster spots available for 4 guys: - Pisani - Nilsson - Pouliot - Stone

With the comments from Quinn about Stone likely making the lineup, it looks like an Oilers regular is getting cut. Based on his versatility, I wouldn't bet on Pisani. Nilsson and Pouliot must be sweating.

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#272 Tayranchula
September 28 2009, 07:43AM
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I no it is only preseason BUT is it just me or has JFJ played so well that he has emerged as a solid number one LW for Hemsky and Horcs. The only reason i say this is becuz has he not played the way the Oilers wanted Penner to play like when they signed him. He is skating hard, competing hard, he grits it up, uses his size and fight, and now his hands are getting there? just an observation.

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#273 EddieEdmonton
September 28 2009, 07:51AM
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funny thing last night was when jacques nailed that one casuck is the boards the suck turns around like he wants problems sees jacques staring him down shaking his gloves then the casuck jusr accelarates to the vancoouver bench

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#274 venue
September 28 2009, 08:24AM
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Bon voyage Robbie. Have a nice life.

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#275 EddieEdmonton
September 28 2009, 09:09AM
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@ venue: someone claimed him ?

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#276 Jonathan Willis
September 28 2009, 09:11AM
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@ esa tikkanen:

Those numbers aren't readily available.

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#277 Jimmy
September 28 2009, 09:22AM
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Just to let you guys know, I got a new LCD TV today. I should have everything up and running just in time for Saturday's game.

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#278 Jimmy
September 28 2009, 09:32AM
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@ Jimmy:

PS I'm not an idiot that takes 5 days to hook up a TV. That's just the earliest I can get the cable guy in.

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#279 venue
September 28 2009, 10:05AM
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@ EddieEdmonton: Nope. Not yet anyways that I know of.

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#280 RossCreek
September 28 2009, 10:06AM
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@ Jimmy: Thanks for letting us know Jimmy. What should we bring over for the party Saturday? I'll bring the Chips 'n' Dip if you want. Anythin else? @ cableguy: How you gonna do my man Jimmy like that? 5 days? C'mon man!

;-)

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#281 Smokin' Ray
September 28 2009, 10:11AM
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@ Jimmy: ROFL Thanks for sharing... Excited a little?

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#282 Jimmy
September 28 2009, 10:12AM
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@ RossCreek:

Ha! Bring a jacket. Us Winnipeggers are covering the tomatoes tonight because frost's in the forecast.

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#283 RossCreek
September 28 2009, 10:20AM
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Been searching around for a waiver wire link somewhere to see who has been placed on waivers across the league. Anyone have a good link? Best I came across so far is @ The Hockey News, but there's gotta be something better. (forecaster.thehockeynews.com/hockeynews/hockey/movements.cgi)

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#284 RossCreek
September 28 2009, 10:29AM
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www.vancouversun.com/sports/Hansen+breaks+hand+fight/2041167/story.html

Hansen breaks hand in fight EDMONTON — The good news is Jannik Hansen won the fight. The bad news is he could be lost for 4-6 weeks or longer with a broken hand. The worst part is the regular season starts Thursday. Hansen's right hand was grotesquely misshapen after a fight with former Vancouver Giants' junior Gilbert Brule during the Canucks' 5-4 pre-season overtime loss Sunday against the Edmonton Oilers...

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#285 RossCreek
September 28 2009, 10:35AM
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From Tampa...

Brett McLean has been released from his tryout contract.

Adam Hall, Brandon Bochenski and Ryan Craig have been placed on waivers.

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#286 snoodle
September 28 2009, 10:40AM
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Hey Snoodles is back............

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#287 Jimmy
September 28 2009, 10:43AM
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@ RossCreek:

Grotesquely misshapen... yikes.

I saw the fight as more of a draw, really. Hell of a scrap, at any rate.

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#288 RossCreek
September 28 2009, 10:45AM
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Theo Fleury press conference on FAN960... ... sounds like he's hangin em up.

Theo re-wrote his final chapter... and it IS a happy ending.

#14 to the rafters. Thank you Theoren Fleury.

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#289 venue
September 28 2009, 10:45AM
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@ Jimmy: Looked like a Jr. fight. Guys fighting for their life/job. Nice to see.

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#290 Petr's Jofa
September 28 2009, 10:49AM
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@ Jimmy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEB0D-sR6hk&feature=youtube_gdata

Naw, it looks to me like Hansen gets the best shot in early... Can't tell when he broke his hand though.

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#291 Heatly
September 28 2009, 11:03AM
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Plasma should be better for sports. Just my research...could be wrong cause I don't know what kind you bought.

@ Jimmy:

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#292 RossCreek
September 28 2009, 11:08AM
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The boys over at HockeyCentral (Millard, Kypreos, MacLean) announce a few other waiver hits... Christoph Schubert in Ottawa Jonas Frogren in the T-Dot Jamie Lundmark in Calgary ... Listen at the FAN590

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#293 Jimmy
September 28 2009, 11:11AM
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@ Heatly:

That's what I came up with in my research, too, but I've got a big floor-to-ceiling window heading out to my balcony. Plasma screens are reflective and I'd be blinded at sunset every day.

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#294 Heatly
September 28 2009, 11:13AM
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@ Jimmy: Cool....Enjoy, you will be happy with the new TV.

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#295 Chris.
September 28 2009, 11:13AM
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@ Heatly:

I like plasma for movies LCD for sports.

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#296 Jimmy
September 28 2009, 11:14AM
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Anything's better than watching on my laptop!

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#297 snoodle
September 28 2009, 11:15AM
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Speaking of TV's can anyone uggest a good buy, and nothing that will cost a second mortgage (one is enough)

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#298 Heatly
September 28 2009, 11:16AM
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@ Chris.: As long as you're cheering for the Oilers! : )

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#299 Oilersordeath
September 28 2009, 11:18AM
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Petr's Jofa wrote:

@ Jimmy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEB0D-sR6hk&feature=youtube_gdata Naw, it looks to me like Hansen gets the best shot in early… Can’t tell when he broke his hand though.

No clear cut winnier, they both landed a couple shots and thats it. It was a good little scrap.

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#300 Jimmy
September 28 2009, 11:21AM
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The Costcos in Winnipeg have a 32" Sanyo on for like... $425 right now. That's the best deal for a name-brand TV I've found so far. That's the biggest I was looking for because anything bigger won't fit in my entertainment unit.

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