Reason twelve why we love Katz

Wanye
September 28 2009 04:48PM

katzcrib2

“I ball till I fall, stunt till I drop, I’m off the showroom floor, not the used car lot” – Rapper 50 Cent

Daryl Katz must be the richest person in the world. While the rest of us are sitting around wondering about Robbie Williams reuniting with 90s boy band Take That, Kay-Z is assembling an empire that any red blooded Edmontonian would kill his entire neighbourhood to get his/her hands on.  Don’t believe us? Check out this article in the Globe and Mail today.

“Edmonton Oilers owner Daryl Katz is close to realizing his dream of building a new hockey rink – for family and friends, not his NHL team. According to alert observers, Katz is having a rink constructed on his property, which just happens to overlook Edmonton’s North Saskatchewan River valley. The owner of the Rexall Pharmacy chain is believed to have had a house knocked down so he can hold hockey games complete with a panoramic view. Katz’s home has been estimated at 25,000 square feet and features five bedrooms, 11 bathrooms, an indoor pool and now a regulation-sized hockey rink. As one neighbour said to our alert observers, “When you have that kind of money, what else are you going to do with it?”

This news must come as a terrifying development to Tambellini and Company. One has to assume that Katz is planning to assemble a second Edmonton based hockey squadron to play in his new arena. Freed up from the constraints of the bloated contracts of the Oilers, the NHL salary cap ceiling and revenue sharing requirements, we can’t see it taking long until this new squad can easily whip the Oilers.

Knocking down other houses to build himself an outdoor arena. Proof positive that Daryl Katz does what any of us in the OilersNation would do, if we too had a couple billion kicking around in our checking account.

What's next? Solid gold toilets?? It boggles the mind.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#1 R Kenny
September 28 2009, 04:57PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Note the tags. Awesome.

Avatar
#2 Oilchange45
September 28 2009, 04:58PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

He wouldn't happen to have a mad scientist bio engineering some prospects to improve the team, and need a place to teach them in quiet, would he?

Avatar
#3 Harlie
September 28 2009, 04:59PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

why doesn't Katz mow down that monstrosity he calls a house and build the new RX-1 there?

Avatar
#4 RossCreek
September 28 2009, 04:59PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I heard that's where Rob Schremp will be playing this season.

Avatar
#5 Hamburgler
September 28 2009, 05:04PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Maybe he can have some trap doors below the ice surface.

Avatar
#6 OvenChicken8
September 28 2009, 05:04PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

RossCreek wrote:

I heard that’s where Rob Schremp will be playing this season.

Why would he allow an ECHL team to play in there? :P

Avatar
#7 Ogden Brother Jr.
September 28 2009, 05:05PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Good for Katz, keep the trade workers going. Not sure how big his yard is, but maybe they have one of those longest hockey games there?

Avatar
#8 Ogden Brother Jr.
September 28 2009, 05:06PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Harlie: Just looking at that house and wondering if it is a ship yard or what.

Avatar
#9 Wanye Gretz
September 28 2009, 05:06PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@RossCreek

Well played Sir.

*claps once, so loud that the Coyotes are immediately profitable*

Avatar
#10 Ogden Brother Jr.
September 28 2009, 05:07PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Wanye Gretz: Are you the reason the lights don't work in Edmonton? Stop clapping.

Avatar
#11 Harlie
September 28 2009, 05:07PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

RossCreek wrote:

I heard that’s where Rob Schremp will be playing this season.

and MacT will be Coaching with Huddy there as well.

Avatar
#12 Ogden Brother Jr.
September 28 2009, 05:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Harlie: Huddy is in Dallas

Avatar
#13 Samwise
September 28 2009, 05:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

that will be some feat of engineering to make a rink that is level on that slope down to the river... like playing basketball in an empty swimming pool a la the Harlem Globetrotters

Avatar
#14 ScubaSteve
September 28 2009, 05:11PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Ogden Brother Jr. wrote:

@ Harlie: Huddy is in Dallas

~Wait, you mean the very real possibility of having Charlie Huddy coach at Katz's backyard rink is in jeopardy? It's a good thing you told us before the dream got too big~

Avatar
#15 Harlie
September 28 2009, 05:12PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Ogden Brother Jr. wrote:

@ Harlie: Just looking at that house and wondering if it is a ship yard or what.

haha! From the angle of the pic it kinda looks like the current Rx-1 if someone squished it down with a fork like mashed potatoes.

Avatar
#16 InconclusivelyStupid
September 28 2009, 05:13PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Five bedrooms and eleven bathrooms? What is this, R. Kelly's house?

Avatar
#17 ScubaSteve
September 28 2009, 05:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ InconclusivelyStupid:

nah, R. Kelly's house has five bedrooms and eleven nurseries.

Avatar
#18 wtf
September 28 2009, 05:16PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Too bad his backyard rink will not have the same effect (edited by WG cause you are being a dick). Actually does it matter Katz will probably draft him regardless, hell waste a 3rd rounder on him. -Sorry nation bit into the bitter-pill this afternoon.

Avatar
#19 Harlie
September 28 2009, 05:16PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

InconclusivelyStupid wrote:

Five bedrooms and eleven bathrooms? What is this, R. Kelly’s house?

anyone catch that R.Kelly skit on the Cleveland Show or was that family Guy last night? Instant classic!

Avatar
#20 Racki
September 28 2009, 05:16PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Honestly, his house should be plowed down and the new Oilers arena should just be built there. He can live somewhere in the basement.

Avatar
#21 Wanye Gretz
September 28 2009, 05:19PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Ogden Brother Jr

That's what she said

Avatar
#22 The Menace
September 28 2009, 05:19PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Maybe he'll assemble a couple of Storm Trooper-ish teams, a la Strange Brew. He's about the right age to have had a period in his life where he thought that movie was awesome. I still think it's awesome.

Avatar
#23 Hamburgler
September 28 2009, 05:26PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ The Menace: Bravo! *clap clap*

Avatar
#24 Word
September 28 2009, 05:26PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

The Menace wrote:

Maybe he’ll assemble a couple of Storm Trooper-ish teams, a la Strange Brew. He’s about the right age to have had a period in his life where he thought that movie was awesome. I still think it’s awesome.

That movie is fantastic. Flying super skunk-dog.

Avatar
#25 Harlie
September 28 2009, 05:33PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ The Menace:

nice Hoser reference!

I can only imagine the production notes while filming;

Drinking beer. In a van. Underwater

Avatar
#26 ronaldo
September 28 2009, 05:42PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

This right here is why ON is the best site on the interwebs. Serious hockey topics. Great White North indeed.

Avatar
#27 Pajamah
September 28 2009, 06:40PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I've studied the above pic-a-ture since it was posted, and for the life of me, have no idea where the hell the batmobile is supposed to exit from.....

Avatar
#28 ebi
September 28 2009, 06:46PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I heard that his rink's ice is made from vintage Bordeaux wine, contact lens solution, and the sweat off Jessica Alba's sweet ass. Pretty much the most expensive liquids money can buy.

Also, you know how Rexall has a statue of Wayne Gretzky hosting the cup? DK's rink has the real thing.

Avatar
#29 Adam Dyck
September 28 2009, 06:49PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

In case you're reading this, Lord Katz, I would like to tender my application for Director of Hockey Operations at the Katz Hockey Temple 1.0 (or KHT1 for short).

Avatar
#30 cableguy
September 28 2009, 06:51PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ ScubaSteve:

well played

Avatar
#31 bookie
September 28 2009, 07:35PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I hear that they Coyotes are contemplating moving there.

Avatar
#32 Rice
September 28 2009, 07:49PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I think that Katz is planning on taking the faceoff problems of the Oil into his own hands by working on them himself, in his own regulation sized rink, and signing himself to an indefinite contract of unmeasurable size.

Avatar
#33 BarryS
September 28 2009, 07:54PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Now, Now, Boys. Jealousy is unbecoming. Man wants to build a rink for himself and his friends, its his money. It's not like he's using indentured labour to build it? Jobs in construction ain't so plentiful they can be turned down. Only wish I was a: rich, B: younger, C: could skate, d: was a friend of his so I could play there. Sure would beat having to stay up to midnight for ice time.

Avatar
#34 Archaeologuy
September 28 2009, 08:11PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I've been inside a 10 000 Sq foot house before, I cant imagine a 25 000 Sq foot house. He would need to hire maids to clean the rooms the other maids just finished because by the time they finished it would be dirty again. 11 bathrooms? A series of tubes to take him from one room to another like the Jetsons? An army of street vendors selling their various kabob style food items at strategic locations within the house to ensure he never goes hungry walking from the Foyer to the Ball Room?

Does anyone else see Katz singing "Pure Imagination" a la Williy Wonka in his wicked awesome Chocolate Factory?

Avatar
#35 RossCreek
September 28 2009, 08:22PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Wanye Gretz: BREAKING NEWS: 50 CENT RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL http://thisis50.com/profiles/blogs/breaking-news-50-cent-rushed

OMG! ;-) (Damn that Fat Joe. Damn him to hell!)

Avatar
#36 DonovanMD
September 28 2009, 08:48PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I don't need any more money, I'm not greedy. As long as I've got my health, and my millions of dollars and my gold house and my rocket car, I don't need anything else.

Avatar
#37 oilersseasonticketholdersince99
September 28 2009, 09:08PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Guess who Katz's new neighbor is going to be? He is a center,plays on the OILERS,and his new contract just kicked in.Need a few more hints he is the Oilers NHLPA rep,He also wears Esa's old number 10 jersey.

Avatar
#38 Colin
September 28 2009, 09:40PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ DonovanMD:

Awesome. You win.

Avatar
#39 MattL
September 28 2009, 09:41PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

InconclusivelyStupid wrote:

Five bedrooms and eleven bathrooms? What is this, R. Kelly’s house?

*clap clap*

Avatar
#40 Eric
September 28 2009, 10:29PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I WANT TO BE ON KATZ HOCKEY TEAM PLEASE PICK ME KATZ!! YOU ROCK, GOOD SIR.

/endcaps

Avatar
#41 team dean
September 28 2009, 10:33PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

i talked to one of the plumbers who's been working at katz's house. i guess the rink is bout half the size of a nhl surface, and susposed to be good till like plus 10. so contrary to popular oppinion its not a regulations rink, lol what a cheap ass huh?

Avatar
#42 Joey Moss
September 28 2009, 10:54PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I'm surprised he isn't asking the tax payers to pay for it.

Avatar
#43 Wanye Gretz
September 28 2009, 11:04PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

RossCreek wrote:

@ Wanye Gretz: BREAKING NEWS: 50 CENT RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL http://thisis50.com/profiles/blogs/breaking-news-50-cent-rushed OMG! (Damn that Fat Joe. Damn him to hell!)

Damn you RossCreek and your thisis50 related hijinx. I totally bought into this.

bookie wrote:

I hear that they Coyotes are contemplating moving there.

I spent so much time laughing at this comment that the call girl I had hired for the evening declared "time's up" and left.

That's some good commenting right there

Avatar
#44 Jamie
September 29 2009, 12:18AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Am I the only one who thinks that rink is somewhat phallic ... with happy faces!!

I need the season to start already.

Avatar
#45 EddieEdmonton
September 29 2009, 01:12AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

so no one claimed schremp ?

Avatar
#46 Eric
September 29 2009, 02:29AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

EddieEdmonton wrote:

so no one claimed schremp ?

YES!!!

Avatar
#47 Eric
September 29 2009, 02:32AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Either this an error or I be stoopid: http://tsn.ca/nhl/transactions/ Schremp assigned to Springfield LOLWUT??!!111

Avatar
#48 Petr's Jofa
September 29 2009, 05:57AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Harlie wrote:

@ The Menace: nice Hoser reference! I can only imagine the production notes while filming; Drinking beer. In a van. Underwater

It's the greatest interpretation fo the of one of the greatest works in the English language. Dead father's ghost, evil uncle, Elsinore Castle. Strange Brew is clearly Hamlet. Now crack open a cold one and watch the movie again knowing that Bob and Doug are Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

Avatar
#49 Petr's Jofa
September 29 2009, 06:08AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I would kill for an edit button...

Avatar
#50 Lofty
September 29 2009, 06:40AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

looks like my guest house

Comments are closed for this article.