GDBXLVII: issues already

Wanye
January 16 2010 01:35PM

 

Update: Fixed. Question: Does it matter? Sigh... If we were hanging out together right now and talking about the Oilers Game this afternoon against the Sharks, we would probably sit back and agree that the game reminds us both of the All Ireland semi final boxing match back in 2009. “The one where Munster fought Leinster?” you would ask, “yes, the very same, the 75 kg class if we recall correctly” ” we would reply. Then we would laugh and laugh, for we would have also ingested a good amount of peyote prior to having the conversation. But that’s just how we roll when we get together isn’t it?

It might very well take a good amount of natural hallucinogens to make this game interesting. Firstly it’s a matinee, which we all know is about as exciting as the 2008 All Ireland semi final match – The Snore on the Shore. Secondly, the Sharks are in town sporting a record of 30-10-8. Patrick Marleau is having his best season in years and Dany “The Bastard” Heatley hasn’t been hit by a train, despite all of our prayers to the Gods of Justice. They have even picked up Manny Malhotra - a utility player coveted by most of the Nation over the summer – and put him to good use this season. All of it smacks of a team that will exit in the second round, but not before they continue to lay a beating on the Western Conference for the remainder of the regular season.

What are we supposed to say about this game really? Sometimes it’s like the 2009 All Ireland Semis (shown above.) Sometimes you are a little fat kid sent in to fight some monster that has somehow made it into your weight class. Sure, you could have probably slimmed down prior to the tournament starting and beat the crap out of some weaker kids. But that takes dedication Nation, dedication that you don’t have.

SAME GOES FOR THE OILERS TODAY

Sure, they have beaten good teams before. Often confoundingly so. It isn’t as though the Oil are going to lose every single one of their remaining games, even though it feels like it is an outside possibility. Maybe the Oilers huff and puff and land a big time punch on the opposition. Maybe they duck and weave and tire him out and win on a split decision. Or maybe they come out into the middle of the ring and take a 12,000 ton punch to the grill and get a quick KO mercy.

The good thing is that the Oilers go into today’s game as an underdog and a win would be considered “huge” by anyone who hasn’t seen the Western Conference standings of late and doesn’t realize that the Oilers are somehow on the verge of being mathematically eliminated from the 2010-2011 playoffs too. You could make a convincing argument that the Oilers would be underdogs in Minor Hockey Week the way they are currently playing, but with a home record of 14-4-6 the Sharks could be considered jerks for even making the Oilers show up and play. But do you know what happens when the big kid knocks out the little kid? He’s a bully. Know what happens when he is knocked out by the little kid? He’s a wuss. So really it’s kind of a no win situation for the Sharks today. Right? Right?

Quick Facts

1. Patrick Marleau is having a whale of a season in the new regime in SJ. We think he has like 31 goals or some such thing. Wasn't it just last season that he was taking mad heat in San Jose?

2. To the best of our knowledge, Dany Heatley hasn't been hit by a bus, which proves the voodoo priest we visited on our vacation was a fake.

3. Remember Jeff Hackett - former tender for the Sharks? When you were little, didn't you think his mask covered in teeth was awesome? Totally.

4. We used to think the Sharks coming out through that big Shark mouth was lame. Then we thought about how the Oilers must look coming out of a simulated Oil Derrick built from breadsticks back in 1995 and we thought better of chirping the Sharks on that account.

5. What do you give the Oilers for a chance today? 5%? 10%? A rational equation approaching negative infinity? (Update: Yeah, that sounds about right.- WG4)

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 Crash
January 16 2010, 04:05PM
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17 wrote:

I wonder where this team would be if they kept Roli...

Without Hemsky all year likely pretty close to where they are right now or at the very best around 11th or 12th in the west

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#52 oilguyry
January 16 2010, 04:07PM
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Ek will never go away everyday another newbie googles hockey trade rumors and reads its for a month or two maybe even joins his little club for even more insider information and access to the rumor chart the guy has it made

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#54 jeanshorts
January 16 2010, 04:09PM
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6 points in 5 games? I told you guys O'Sullivan was clutch!

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#55 jake
January 16 2010, 04:10PM
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I ripped this team on here yesterday on how pathetic they are on odd man rushes, and I have ripped POS more than any other players, and doesn't HE score the first shorty of the season on an odd man rush.....thanks Patty...

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#57 jeanshorts
January 16 2010, 04:12PM
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@Wanye

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Sharks are on fire, The Oilers stink worse than my poo!

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#58 Eddie Shore
January 16 2010, 04:12PM
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mike wrote:

no visor on moreau?

Still sucks. Damn!

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#60 oilguyry
January 16 2010, 04:13PM
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Oilers suck can't get the puck sharks keep scoring this game is boring how's that Wayne

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#62 jeanshorts
January 16 2010, 04:16PM
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Seriously why do they still do this "Right Player" garbage? Can't they just concede the fact that this team is horrible from top to bottom? I admire them for being able to tow the company line so hard, but come on.

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#64 oilguyry
January 16 2010, 04:18PM
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My bad how's this were getting what we expected the oilers get rejected but the five for five is still alive

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#65 Moop
January 16 2010, 04:18PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Sharks are on fire, The Oilers stink worse than my poo!

Roses are red, violets are not, the Oilers are losing, and Heatley's a tw*t?

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#66 jeanshorts
January 16 2010, 04:18PM
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@Wanye

I've got JFJ pegged to not only win every event in the Oilers skills competition but shatter every previous record.

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#67 jeanshorts
January 16 2010, 04:20PM
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Heatley can't even score on Dubynk! We dodged a bullet on that one big time!

*tears his eyelashes out*

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#69 Harlie
January 16 2010, 04:22PM
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good loss boys, good loss.

*private eye claps all around*

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#71 RossCreekNation
January 16 2010, 04:28PM
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Eddie Shore wrote:

Why do you still read Eklund's nonsense?

It entertains me. Plus it s like that day of the comet a year or so back... I missed it. I want to see the day when he's right ;-)

It's not like I pay to visit his site or anything.

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#72 jeanshorts
January 16 2010, 04:33PM
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Wanye wrote:

Do you think baggedmilk would know what to do if he was here JS?

Well I imagine he'd either be ghostriding the DFF bandwagon or long dead due to alcohol poisoning, which would probably have less to do about the Oilers and just be a mere coincidence.

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#73 Racki
January 16 2010, 04:35PM
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Wanye wrote:

Heatley is a hell of a player. Why didn't the Oilers try and pick him up in the offseason if he was leaving the Sens?

*ties vintage Oilers sweatpants into noose, goes looking for a stout branch*

~Clearly they didn't try hard enough to get him... they should have spent more effort on it!~

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#75 Racki
January 16 2010, 04:45PM
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SNET broadcaster: “One of the reasons they got him (Malhotra) – faceoffs. Malhotra went 12 for 12 today”.

Thanks for rubbing it in!

Why would we want a guy like that, eh Tambellini? Who needs to win faceoffs when you've got a bunch of guys who can battle to get the puck back so well? :P

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#76 jake
January 16 2010, 04:54PM
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Racki wrote:

SNET broadcaster: “One of the reasons they got him (Malhotra) – faceoffs. Malhotra went 12 for 12 today”.

Thanks for rubbing it in!

Why would we want a guy like that, eh Tambellini? Who needs to win faceoffs when you've got a bunch of guys who can battle to get the puck back so well? :P

yeah he said he is $600,000 signing, had 2 assists today too....

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#77 WestEndMike
January 16 2010, 05:13PM
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Our boys did their part. We just need to hopes Carolina does theirs tonight. Go Canes!!!!!

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#79 Harlie
January 16 2010, 06:58PM
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Anyone know what this is? Class? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone seen this before? The Laffer Curve. Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

http://auction.nhl.com/cgi-bin/ncommerce3/ProductDisplay?prrfnbr=112328155&prmenbr=12717464&aunbr=112674865

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#80 RossCreekNation
January 16 2010, 07:17PM
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@Harlie

Edmonton's finest?

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#81 Harlie
January 16 2010, 07:57PM
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@RossCreekNation

a waste of money.

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#82 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
January 16 2010, 08:23PM
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RossCreekNation wrote:

It entertains me. Plus it s like that day of the comet a year or so back... I missed it. I want to see the day when he's right ;-)

It's not like I pay to visit his site or anything.

you visiting encourages him to keep going.

hockeybuzzhogwash.com

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#83 RossCreekNation
January 16 2010, 09:16PM
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@cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan

Ya, but really - no skin off my ace.

I go to spectorshockey for real rumors.

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#84 rindog
January 17 2010, 09:43AM
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Racki wrote:

SNET broadcaster: “One of the reasons they got him (Malhotra) – faceoffs. Malhotra went 12 for 12 today”.

Thanks for rubbing it in!

Why would we want a guy like that, eh Tambellini? Who needs to win faceoffs when you've got a bunch of guys who can battle to get the puck back so well? :P

Malhotra didn't want to sign here. He only wanted to go to a contender and would take way less to do so.

Sometimes people think it is just so easy to sign a player?

People need to remember that the player has to be willing to come to a certain team when he is unrestricted.

Furthermore (yes, that's correct - I used the word "furthermore"), if you really want a player and that player isn't sure if he wants to sign with your club - you have to overpay him.

We've seen that movie before haven't we??

Would you still want Malhotra at $1.8 million (or more)?

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#85 OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F
January 17 2010, 12:47PM
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rindog wrote:

Malhotra didn't want to sign here. He only wanted to go to a contender and would take way less to do so.

Sometimes people think it is just so easy to sign a player?

People need to remember that the player has to be willing to come to a certain team when he is unrestricted.

Furthermore (yes, that's correct - I used the word "furthermore"), if you really want a player and that player isn't sure if he wants to sign with your club - you have to overpay him.

We've seen that movie before haven't we??

Would you still want Malhotra at $1.8 million (or more)?

"Would you still want Malhotra at $1.8 million (or more)"

I'd like to take this one step further. Everyone is up in arms about getting rid of "bad contracts" But if this team wants to compete within the next year or two they will have give out a few new "bad contracts".

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#87 OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F
January 17 2010, 10:32PM
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Wanye wrote:

Let me get this straight. You think Malhotra can call the shots in the free agent market and that he would command $1.8 million a year?

Note to all: Rindog is either Manny Malhotra's Dad, Manny Malhotra's Mom, Manny Malhotra's girlfriend or possibly Manny Malhotra himself.

Top tier players call the shots. Third line players go where the action is.

1.8 million for MH. Maybe you work for the Oil front office...

Supposedly Atlanta offerd Malhotra 8 million over 4 years. He said no.

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