GDB XLVIII: Take 48!

Wanye
January 18 2010 10:01AM

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, The Hockey News issued its annual predictions for the 2009-10 NHL season.  If you had asked us back then what the outcome would be against the Avalanche – slotted in at 14th in the West – we would have laughed heartily, then looked you dead in the eye and said “it’s a win. Book it.” Then we would have slapped you in the face for asking such stupid questions and afterwards taken your sister out for a steak dinner.

Fast forward six months and the world looks slightly different than it did in the pre-season prognostication period. The only sports fans sadder than the OilersNation right now are Tiger Woods fan club members, but even they have photos of his illigitimate children to look forward to, whereas we have to settle for three more years of Khabibulin hockey.

Defying all odds, the Avalanche aren’t in 14th; they are in third in the Western Conference and amazingly lead the Northwest division. The Oilers have defied the experts too and do not occupy the 11th spot in the West as predicted by THN. Instead they are in 15th place and somehow looking to seek even lower with a presumed loss against the Avs tonight.

Looking at the Colorado season to date, it reminds us that the word “surprise” can be preceeded by the word “good,” though here in the OilersNation it can only be led by “horrendous” “brutal” or “soul crushing.” The Avalanche have shaken off all of the doubters and have assembled a tidy 27-15-6 record through the first 48 games of the season.

When you go over the points totals for the Avs it's clear they are scoring by committee and that there aren’t more than a couple household names on the team. There ain’t a soul on the roster who is scoring at more than a PPG clip, including something called a “David Koci” who has collected a single goal in 35 appearances this season despite the advantage of playing left wing and wearing the same #28 worn by Alexander Selivanov when he tore the league a new one in the first half of the 99-00 season. Shame on you David Koci and shame on the Avalanche for not being as crappy as everyone thought you would be.

Speaking of shame...

What would you like us to say about the Edmonton Oilers tonight? That it was ill advised to make this game a PPV tilt? That we can’t believe this no name Avalanche roster will probably blow a handful of goals past whichver AHL prospect is started in net for the Oil, causing us to sucker punch whomever has the misfortune of sittnig within haymaker reach? That the only joy of the night will come from trading witty barbs with Jeanshorts to pass the time until our PPV telecast ends and we can climb into bed with a bottle of Drambuie and hope it all just goes away?

No, we won’t go that route. Not tonight and not ever. Milan Hejduk is out 2-4 weeks having his knee scoped. That can be considered good news as can the fact that the Avalanche come into the game with an overconfident 12-6-2 home record. Get ready for a double helping of Oilers hockey, Citizens of Denver, Colorado!

A new initiative

On the weekend we were hanging out with some of the boys after our long absence and tried to move the conversation around to Oilers hockey. We are still shocked at the decline of the interest in the team and one of our more “bandwagon prone” friends told us “Oilers hockey is some of the worst TV on right now.” To this we replied "NOOOOOOO" at the top of our lungs before tearing upstairs stumbling several times. The rest of the evening was spent crying unconsolably onto the chest of the first patient girl we could find.

There are plenty of worse things on TV – take that brutal new show Jersey Shore for instance. We would rather gouge out our eyes with a melon baller than watch a single second of that MTV garbage. So in an effort to bring you things much worse than the Oilers game, lowering your expectations for "entertainment" and making the hockey match seem positively spellbinding in the process, may we present to you this video titled “the WWE’s most romatic or slutty moments”

If that’s the worst thing you see on TV today, we’re golden.

UPDATE: You can also peep this gem of a goal from the ECHL which can be described as awesome:

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 JackBauer
January 18 2010, 01:25PM
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I think its a reasonable question to ask if Taylor Hall will pan out next season or not. Especially on this team of absolute deadbeats.

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#52 Ogden Brother Jr. - Team Strudwick for coach
January 18 2010, 01:31PM
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JackBauer wrote:

I think its a reasonable question to ask if Taylor Hall will pan out next season or not. Especially on this team of absolute deadbeats.

What's your definition of pan out next year? Stamkos only put up 47 in his first year and Tavares is on pace for slightly more.

Are Edmonton fans willing to accept that Hall may only get 40-50 in his first year?

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#53 mowgli
January 18 2010, 01:34PM
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Bucknuck wrote:

and canada will come in fourth as a result...

yah! it was bad for his ego not makeing the team. I hope he keeps up his hard play thats all i'm saying.

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#54 Senator Theo
January 18 2010, 01:42PM
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The Towel Boy wrote:

They should send a team of professional sterilizers into the dressing room and steam the sh!t out of that place.

I'll be seeing a professional sterilizer later this week - I'll make sure I mention this opportunity to him.

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#55 c_tux
January 18 2010, 01:52PM
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Ogden Brother Jr. - Team Strudwick for coach wrote:

What's your definition of pan out next year? Stamkos only put up 47 in his first year and Tavares is on pace for slightly more.

Are Edmonton fans willing to accept that Hall may only get 40-50 in his first year?

That would be a big fat no. People are calling for Gagner to be traded because he's only put up ~50 pts. Anything less than a ppg pace in the show for our first rounder will be considered a bust in Oil Country

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#56 Jason Gregor
January 18 2010, 02:04PM
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Just an update on the lineup for tonight...

Staios is out with an injury, looks like another concussion maybe..

Penner Potulny Nilsson Jacques Gagner Cogliano O'Sullivan Horcoff Pisani Moreau Pouliot Stortini...

Smid Visnovsky Souray Gilbert Grebeshkov Strudwick

Deslauriers will start...

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#57 The Towel Boy
January 18 2010, 02:07PM
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Senator Theo wrote:

I'll be seeing a professional sterilizer later this week - I'll make sure I mention this opportunity to him.

It would cut down on the likelihood of future paternity suits.

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#58 Zamboni Driver
January 18 2010, 02:11PM
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Jason Gregor wrote:

Just curious how many times you've seen him play? What are you basing your doubts on? The Oilers drafting history? True they have sucked in the past but the past three years haven't been that bad.

This isn't the same regime who blew picks on Devereaux, Kelly and Bonsignore...they can't be that bad with this pick I'd suspect.

No, but they are the jokers who went with the Finnish person whose name shall not be spoken (bad Karma and I wouldn't even have the first clue how to spell it).

The concern, Jason, is that Lowe et al adopted the Barry Fraser/Sather "I'm smarter than everyone else, watch this...." drafting attitude.

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#59 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
January 18 2010, 02:15PM
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Shaw still hasn't billed me for any of the PPV games I've ordered since October. I'm not even sure the game tonight will be worth the risk that they might figure it out this month.

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#60 Ogden Brother Jr. - Team Strudwick for coach
January 18 2010, 02:47PM
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Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things wrote:

Shaw still hasn't billed me for any of the PPV games I've ordered since October. I'm not even sure the game tonight will be worth the risk that they might figure it out this month.

I watched 3 games at a buddies house and everytime the sound disappeared for start. Then they tell us turn the channel up one and then back. My buddy was refunded for all three games.

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#61 I'm a Scientist!
January 18 2010, 02:48PM
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Yah! My goat fixed his pubis and is playing! One more thing to complain about!

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#62 OILERSORDEATH
January 18 2010, 03:10PM
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Jason Gregor wrote:

Just an update on the lineup for tonight...

Staios is out with an injury, looks like another concussion maybe..

Penner Potulny Nilsson Jacques Gagner Cogliano O'Sullivan Horcoff Pisani Moreau Pouliot Stortini...

Smid Visnovsky Souray Gilbert Grebeshkov Strudwick

Deslauriers will start...

Wow sounds like a looooooooser lineup for sure. 4-1 AVS

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#63 Harlie
January 18 2010, 03:20PM
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my goat should keep his visor on as it helps with his suckage.

P.S - Props to Moreau fpr removing his pussy window. He actually played well last game and maybe it was because he nutted up and took the glass off. I like to call out Moreau but props to him on this one. His game looked better for it.

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#64 rubbertrout
January 18 2010, 03:22PM
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Anyone notice how the GDB threaads have a lot less activity (except for the few who chirp back and forth during the game) than a few months back?

I'll admit my interest has waned. Sure I still watch when I can but it is disheartening as hell. My heart wants them to win but my head says they need to stink out the joint.

It is a difficult thing cheering for the old copper and blue these days.

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#65 Robin Brownlee
January 18 2010, 03:29PM
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Harlie wrote:

my goat should keep his visor on as it helps with his suckage.

P.S - Props to Moreau fpr removing his pussy window. He actually played well last game and maybe it was because he nutted up and took the glass off. I like to call out Moreau but props to him on this one. His game looked better for it.

You usually make a lot of sense, but frustration is turning your brain to mush.

Say what you want about Moreau in terms of stupid penalties or that he's lost a step and has been largely ineffective, but get off the "pussy window" and nut-up tripe.

Ethan is one of the toughest men you'll ever meet when it comes to playing through pain or injury, but the eye injury he suffered scared the hell out if him, and it should. He has permanent damage to his right eye. That's why he put on the visor. Nutting up? Taking it off has nothing to do with that, and I think it's a bad idea.

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#66 Travis Dakin
January 18 2010, 03:33PM
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Robin Brownlee wrote:

You usually make a lot of sense, but frustration is turning your brain to mush.

Say what you want about Moreau in terms of stupid penalties or that he's lost a step and has been largely ineffective, but get off the "pussy window" and nut-up tripe.

Ethan is one of the toughest men you'll ever meet when it comes to playing through pain or injury, but the eye injury he suffered scared the hell out if him, and it should. He has permanent damage to his right eye. That's why he put on the visor. Nutting up? Taking it off has nothing to do with that, and I think it's a bad idea.

That's like having a baby scare and then going back again without the protection.

Dammit man! You were given a warning! Don't tempt the gods!!!!

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#67 Racki
January 18 2010, 03:45PM
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Robin Brownlee wrote:

You usually make a lot of sense, but frustration is turning your brain to mush.

Say what you want about Moreau in terms of stupid penalties or that he's lost a step and has been largely ineffective, but get off the "pussy window" and nut-up tripe.

Ethan is one of the toughest men you'll ever meet when it comes to playing through pain or injury, but the eye injury he suffered scared the hell out if him, and it should. He has permanent damage to his right eye. That's why he put on the visor. Nutting up? Taking it off has nothing to do with that, and I think it's a bad idea.

Why did he take it off? I'll be honest.... I noticed his game was a bit different. I also noticed a big difference in Staios' game when he removed his. I would imagine it would hinder your game a bit if you're not used to a visor, let alone a tinted one (I don't know though.. played with a cage, and without anything, but never with a visor).

Just curious why he took it off, cause last I checked, his one eye is still the size of a fuggin walnut.

And yah, don't blame him for being scared, that's a pretty bad injury to suffer. We all probably remember Bryan Berard's promising career, pre-eye injury.

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#68 Skidplate
January 18 2010, 03:53PM
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Robin Brownlee wrote:

You usually make a lot of sense, but frustration is turning your brain to mush.

Say what you want about Moreau in terms of stupid penalties or that he's lost a step and has been largely ineffective, but get off the "pussy window" and nut-up tripe.

Ethan is one of the toughest men you'll ever meet when it comes to playing through pain or injury, but the eye injury he suffered scared the hell out if him, and it should. He has permanent damage to his right eye. That's why he put on the visor. Nutting up? Taking it off has nothing to do with that, and I think it's a bad idea.

Here here Robin. You gotta love these mopes that have superstrength typing on the keyboard. Wonder what they would have to say face to face to a guy like Ethan?

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#69 Travis Dakin
January 18 2010, 03:58PM
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Skidplate wrote:

Here here Robin. You gotta love these mopes that have superstrength typing on the keyboard. Wonder what they would have to say face to face to a guy like Ethan?

Whatever he had to say would sound all garbled... what with the balls all the way into the mouth and such.

Edit: what a perfect post number for that comment... please don't delete haha

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#70 Skidplate
January 18 2010, 04:07PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

Whatever he had to say would sound all garbled... what with the balls all the way into the mouth and such.

Edit: what a perfect post number for that comment... please don't delete haha

Balls deep, balls deep

Thats a golf reference kids.

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#71 Jaime
January 18 2010, 04:52PM
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Public Service Announcement: FEAR IS WHAT WILL KEEP THIS TEAM FROM IMPROVING. Why are we even thinking Taylor Hall might be a bust? We haven't even drafted him yet! Why not be positive until we actually get to see him play a game?

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#72 Harlie
January 18 2010, 05:28PM
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@Robin Brownlee

edit: maybe I should quit while I'm behind.

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#73 Clarkenstein
January 18 2010, 06:43PM
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NOT ordering PPV has been my own little protest this year. Haven't bought one game and won't. If nobody bought it do you think the message would get through? No, I didn't think so either.

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#74 Gunner
January 18 2010, 07:07PM
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Wow that was an awful rendition of our anthem.

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#75 freeze
January 18 2010, 07:17PM
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links?

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#77 Heavyd
January 18 2010, 08:31PM
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@Wanye

Not only on the website, but also on another ppv. So they make you pay 15 bucks and usally just repeat things from other ppvs.

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#79 David S
January 18 2010, 08:33PM
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Just watching the Avs makes me think how wonderful it must be to have an NHL goalie on your roster.

Oh god. Another one.

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#81 Heavyd
January 18 2010, 08:39PM
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@Wanye

Ya the oilers really know what the fans want to see during itermissions.

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#84 Heavyd
January 18 2010, 08:53PM
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@Wanye

And how many times do they have to tell us that it will be Eric Cole's first game against Edmonton, who cares.

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#85 David S
January 18 2010, 08:57PM
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Up high on JDD. What a freaking sieve.

Sooo...have we firmly established JDD's potential yet?

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#86 Phil
January 18 2010, 09:07PM
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6-0 Colorado... wow, just... wow!! This is painful, shocking, embarrassing... Edmonton looks like an AHL team!

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#87 David S
January 18 2010, 09:09PM
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Phil wrote:

6-0 Colorado... wow, just... wow!! This is painful, shocking, embarrassing... Edmonton looks like an AHL team!

"Looks like"?

Check out our roster.

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#88 17
January 18 2010, 09:24PM
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This is sad.

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#89 Poo Czar
January 18 2010, 09:34PM
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So, the Oil are winning again, yes?

*checks score*

Guess I'll go read Twilight with the wife and hate my life less...

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#90 Dan the Man
January 18 2010, 09:54PM
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How long before Pat Quinn starts beating his players up?

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#91 David S
January 18 2010, 09:57PM
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Update!

“Ryan Smyth Deathmarch” Oilers: 2-16-1

Current “AHL Goaltending” Oilers: 1-14-1

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#92 Eddie Shore
January 18 2010, 10:22PM
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@David S

If you can't score a single goal you aren't going to win no matter how bad the goaltending is. Just saying.

At least we didn't give up 9 tonight..

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#93 Eddie Shore
January 18 2010, 10:27PM
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Tonight would be a good night for everyone to go say hi on Flamersnation.

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#95 coach ditka
January 19 2010, 09:13PM
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@JackBauer

sorry deleted

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#96 coach ditka
January 19 2010, 09:14PM
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Is there a way that we can find out what the viewership was for the last two Oiler PPV's?

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