January 18 2010 10:01AM
Once upon a time, a long long time ago, The Hockey News issued its annual predictions for the 2009-10 NHL season. If you had asked us back then what the outcome would be against the Avalanche – slotted in at 14th in the West – we would have laughed heartily, then looked you dead in the eye and said “it’s a win. Book it.” Then we would have slapped you in the face for asking such stupid questions and afterwards taken your sister out for a steak dinner.
Fast forward six months and the world looks slightly different than it did in the pre-season prognostication period. The only sports fans sadder than the OilersNation right now are Tiger Woods fan club members, but even they have photos of his illigitimate children to look forward to, whereas we have to settle for three more years of Khabibulin hockey.
Defying all odds, the Avalanche aren’t in 14th; they are in third in the Western Conference and amazingly lead the Northwest division. The Oilers have defied the experts too and do not occupy the 11th spot in the West as predicted by THN. Instead they are in 15th place and somehow looking to seek even lower with a presumed loss against the Avs tonight.
Looking at the Colorado season to date, it reminds us that the word “surprise” can be preceeded by the word “good,” though here in the OilersNation it can only be led by “horrendous” “brutal” or “soul crushing.” The Avalanche have shaken off all of the doubters and have assembled a tidy 27-15-6 record through the first 48 games of the season.
When you go over the points totals for the Avs it's clear they are scoring by committee and that there aren’t more than a couple household names on the team. There ain’t a soul on the roster who is scoring at more than a PPG clip, including something called a “David Koci” who has collected a single goal in 35 appearances this season despite the advantage of playing left wing and wearing the same #28 worn by Alexander Selivanov when he tore the league a new one in the first half of the 99-00 season. Shame on you David Koci and shame on the Avalanche for not being as crappy as everyone thought you would be.
Speaking of shame...
What would you like us to say about the Edmonton Oilers tonight? That it was ill advised to make this game a PPV tilt? That we can’t believe this no name Avalanche roster will probably blow a handful of goals past whichver AHL prospect is started in net for the Oil, causing us to sucker punch whomever has the misfortune of sittnig within haymaker reach? That the only joy of the night will come from trading witty barbs with Jeanshorts to pass the time until our PPV telecast ends and we can climb into bed with a bottle of Drambuie and hope it all just goes away?
No, we won’t go that route. Not tonight and not ever. Milan Hejduk is out 2-4 weeks having his knee scoped. That can be considered good news as can the fact that the Avalanche come into the game with an overconfident 12-6-2 home record. Get ready for a double helping of Oilers hockey, Citizens of Denver, Colorado!
A new initiative
On the weekend we were hanging out with some of the boys after our long absence and tried to move the conversation around to Oilers hockey. We are still shocked at the decline of the interest in the team and one of our more “bandwagon prone” friends told us “Oilers hockey is some of the worst TV on right now.” To this we replied "NOOOOOOO" at the top of our lungs before tearing upstairs stumbling several times. The rest of the evening was spent crying unconsolably onto the chest of the first patient girl we could find.
There are plenty of worse things on TV – take that brutal new show Jersey Shore for instance. We would rather gouge out our eyes with a melon baller than watch a single second of that MTV garbage. So in an effort to bring you things much worse than the Oilers game, lowering your expectations for "entertainment" and making the hockey match seem positively spellbinding in the process, may we present to you this video titled “the WWE’s most romatic or slutty moments”
If that’s the worst thing you see on TV today, we’re golden.
UPDATE: You can also peep this gem of a goal from the ECHL which can be described as awesome: