We're Number Last... We're Number Last!

Amber McCormick
January 26 2010 09:09AM

We’re the last team in the standings. We’re in 30th place. We’re the #1 losers. We’re the polar opposite of first place. No matter how you say it, it hurts. Not only do we have to put up with the mockery of Flames fans (there’s one in every office) but we also have to deal with the little voice in our heads saying, “Why are you so offended? You know they’re right.”

A few people have mentioned to me, “Hey Amber, haven’t seen anything from you for a while.” It’s true. What was the point? I went to a dark, dark place after our bajillionth loss in row. I didn’t want to come here spewing negativity and ill-advised anger. I wanted to deal with the loss of a dream like an adult; getting drunk alone while watching Ishtar just to prove that things can always get worse.

It seems that there are more questions than answers at this point. Who wants out? Who’s on the block next? Will Pocklington go to jail? Did Brad and Angelina really split up? Oh the humanity!

I’m at a loss. I really am. If someone would have told me in October that this is where we’d be at in January I would have called them a fool. Alas, this is our reality. The season will go without much cause for celebration as we anticipate the next. The summer months will be filled with the optimistic ramblings of drunkards on sunny patios. Speculation of why next season will be “The One” and why it was still a good idea to get rid of MacT.

I’m no fortune teller and I don’t know what the future holds. I just pray that we come to a place where we can celebrate our mediocrity and hold it close to our hearts. That’s the world I one day want to live in.

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Amber lives in Edmonton. Everyday she tries to do her part in preserving nature. Tomorrow she's pickling squirrels. Amber doesn't sweat the petty thing and she doesn't pet the sweaty things.
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#1 The Towel Boy
January 26 2010, 09:29AM
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"Chewie? Is that you?"

"Glllarrrlllrlhghghlll!"

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#3 Mike Krushelnyski
January 26 2010, 09:15AM
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Are those tattoos or does that guy just have the hairiest arms ever?

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#4 The Towel Boy
January 26 2010, 09:18AM
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Hair. Confirmed.

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#5 Marsha
January 26 2010, 09:19AM
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Bloody hell, is that guy Greek or what? I'm distracted now, oh yes, Oilers suck. Woohooo!

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#6 Bucknuck
January 26 2010, 09:28AM
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And his thumbs are REALLY long.

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#7 Archaeologuy
January 26 2010, 09:29AM
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Amber, your boyfriend's arm-hair to waist-size ratio is way off. What are you feeding him?

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#8 Mike Krushelnyski
January 26 2010, 09:36AM
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@Archaeologuy

Lines of crushed-up Rogaine, Edmonton's least publicized drug problem.

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#9 GSP
January 26 2010, 09:36AM
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Amber!!!!! Great to see you on the Nation again....too much testosterone around here...lol

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#10 RossCreekNation
January 26 2010, 09:37AM
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Bucknuck wrote:

And his thumbs are REALLY long.

Quite the "thumb-blaster", I'd guess.

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#11 ChiliChunk
January 26 2010, 10:10AM
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Everyone is so distracted by Harry Pornthumbs that they are missing something very important...

Amber are you telling us Ishtar is now out on blu-ray?

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#12 Wanye
January 26 2010, 10:13AM
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AMBER I WUV YOU

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#14 Harlie
January 26 2010, 01:00PM
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Dude in the picture looks like DP before he went on his donair diet.

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#15 Wanyes bastard child
January 26 2010, 03:51PM
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Amber McCormick wrote:

Wanye I wuv you too. Always have. Except that one time....

Mama?

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#16 mark
January 26 2010, 04:31PM
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I've been saying this on here for a while. The Oil need a losing season, they need to dump bloated contracts and under-performers (which they will hopefully be able to do over the next two seasons to teams that need some solid playoff talent in key areas) and they need to build through drafting. Eberle has everyone in Edmonton excited - just like Teows, Crosby, Ovechkin, Malkin, Staal, etc etc had fans in their respective towns excited before they hit the big time.

We some great young prospects, but no one who is going to make it rain with the current team is excited about coming to play here. Get over it. I love Edmonton, but the sad fact is most people don't.

Ditch Souray for some solid defensive prospects, ditch Horcoff when he's close to free agency and teams know they won't have to pick up a 7 mil/yr contract on a guy who can only win faceoffs (which is critical in playoff play) and then take a look at the rest of the old guard as well to see who you can shift for prospects and who you want to keep around to lead the new young crop (which in my opinion is NOT Ethan Moreau.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm excited about this. I hate losing just as much as the next guy, that's why I'd rather lose big for a few years with the prospect of building a great team that can get us deep into the post season for 5-10 seasons than strive to build a hired gun team and settle for mediocrity and barely scratching our way into the playoffs every year. The fair weather fans will bitch, but the people who bleed copper and gold will see that there's a strategic vision for building a great team and stick it out.

Buck up, come draft time 30th place starts to look pretty damn good - especially with Taylor Hall in the mix.

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#18 Wanyes bastard child
January 26 2010, 09:41PM
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Im sneaky ;)

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