GDB LIII: the mediocre Battle of Alberta

bingofuel
January 30 2010 05:21PM

If the image above were even remotely true, the mediocre Oilers would feel empowered, even emboldened by their shameful performance over the last, oh, two months. But with 12 losses in a row, mediocre's probably too generous a word.

How about downright sucky? That's right. This team right now is one Simpsons reference from being the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

But fear not, Nation, for there is still hope. And that hope lies in the fact that Calgary's star as fallen faster than every teenaged girl's panties when they hear the name Edward Cullen.*

The Calgary Flames are 1-6-3 in their last ten. While their misguided attempt to mimic the DFF has a flattering tone to it, let's be realistic. They are the superior team tonight. What they have in terms of, you know, hockey players, we need to come at with grit, heart, crust and whatever ever sports metaphor is appropriate at this moment.

But make no mistake. As Gregor pointed out yesterday, this is the battle of the losers. True bottom of the barrel sports on CBC's famous Hockey Day In Canada.

Puck drop

Dubnyk gets the start tonight in the 2010 Edmonton Oilers Goalie Crap Shoot™, but regardless of who stands in goal tonight, the odds are not in the Oilers' favour, as they've dropped all Battle of Alberta series' this season to the Flames.

Comrie's out again, even though he played against St. Louis last game. Mono will do that to you, and I imagine Comrie's frustrated as hell. He's a high-powered athlete, and this illness has reduced him to a bag of skin and bones. If nothing else, I'm hoping Comrie's eventually complete recover and return to the line-up will help reinvigorate this team some.

Something has to.

What else?

If you're feeling like a bit of a glutton for punishment, you can join Gregor and some of the other Nationeers at the Pint tonight, where they'll no doubt be shouting at the television with such vim and vigour that they'd probably field a more passionate team of hockey players than the Mighty Oil.

Me, I'll be at home looking for an upset win tonight. A win that means I won't feel totally upset is what I'm saying.

Somehow, the Oil win this one 3-1 tonight.

*This twilight reference brought to you by my young cousin, who will speak of nothing else.

243fa199ff6efc362bf29a17e950b47e
Bingofuel is the handsome cyborg who pulls all the levers behind the curtains of the OilersNation. When he isn't running the site, he's plugged into a wall socket, recharging. Or Brownlee and Wanye are playing "keep away" with him. He gets little to no respect.
Avatar
#51 ChaseEmDown
January 30 2010, 09:59PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@Giggsunited

Make that 2.

Avatar
#52 Senator Theo
January 30 2010, 10:01PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

We're all fools. Before each game, I still think we're going to win for some reason.

Avatar
#53 dragon
January 30 2010, 10:02PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Travis Dakin wrote:

Your 4 year old son is still awake at 9:30?!?!

You're the coolest Dad EVER!!!! haha

hey, he's first year in hockey, works his little a@@ off every Saturday morning and wanted to watch some Battle of Alberta with me.

yes, I should have known better. my little son will either be scarred for life or will become a Flames fan. I don't know which one is worst...Second thought, no difference there, really.

Avatar
#54 dragon
January 30 2010, 10:04PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

wild Glenlivet thought: is there a chance Katz realizes his toy is broken and takes it out to a garage sale?

Avatar
#55 Reagan
January 30 2010, 10:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

My Sports Select was so wrong tonight...

Avatar
#56 ChaseEmDown
January 30 2010, 10:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
dragon wrote:

wild Glenlivet thought: is there a chance Katz realizes his toy is broken and takes it out to a garage sale?

You assume someone would buy it, even at garage sale prices. That's a huge assumption.

Avatar
#57 Senator Theo
January 30 2010, 10:11PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I'l give that decision to souray.

Avatar
#58 ChaseEmDown
January 30 2010, 10:12PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Dan the Man wrote:

This country music night thing or whatever it is is just adding insult to injury. The only thing that makes this night OK is if Souray comes in the third and beats up Iginla...well that and a post game ceremony where Moreau rips the C off his jersey and hands it to ...umm... aaaahh FML!

There's part one of your wish. There's hope for part two!

Avatar
#59 ryan
January 30 2010, 10:12PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

So seriously, did Stortini hit on Quinn's daughter or something, why the f*ck isn't he playing. Jacques has a very simple job description, but won't/can't do it. I'm so sick of this crap...there, done ranting.

Avatar
#60 RossCreekNation
January 30 2010, 10:15PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Senator Theo wrote:

I'l give that decision to souray.

And I'll give it to Iginla. No major damge either way.

Avatar
#61 David S
January 30 2010, 10:19PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I wonder what its like to have a captain like Jarome? Hits, scores, fights, leads by example.

*tears well up*

Avatar
#62 dragon
January 30 2010, 10:19PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
ryan wrote:

So seriously, did Stortini hit on Quinn's daughter or something, why the f*ck isn't he playing. Jacques has a very simple job description, but won't/can't do it. I'm so sick of this crap...there, done ranting.

when the god-knows-who-named-him-captain captain goes on chopping sticks left and right no one will give a flying f#@k about anything....

Jim Rutherford, can you please give Tambo a call and save some lives?

Avatar
#63 Senator Theo
January 30 2010, 10:20PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@RossCreekNation

Rosscreek - you don't have to take away all enjoyment of this game for me! Leave me something!

Avatar
#64 David S
January 30 2010, 10:21PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
ryan wrote:

So seriously, did Stortini hit on Quinn's daughter or something, why the f*ck isn't he playing. Jacques has a very simple job description, but won't/can't do it. I'm so sick of this crap...there, done ranting.

I can't figure out why Comrie is out too. JFJ and POS max out the useless meter night after night.

Avatar
#65 David S
January 30 2010, 10:22PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Although POS may be on the block right now.

Avatar
#66 dragon
January 30 2010, 10:26PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

most hockey-painful 8 minutes I can remember....

* switching channels looking desperately for a soccer game *

Avatar
#67 ChaseEmDown
January 30 2010, 10:26PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Has any NHL team ever gone winless for a whole calendar month?

Avatar
#68 ryan
January 30 2010, 10:28PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

On the very small plus side, with the way Gagner has played the last couple of weeks I wouldn't disagree with making him captain next year if they are committing to a full on rebuild. I'm not saying it's the best decision but he's really taken ownership of this team and is the only one that seems to be playing for pride.

Avatar
#69 dragon
January 30 2010, 10:31PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

hahahahahahahahaha

after McGratton split Greby and Tommy, all Tambo will get for them at the fire/garage sale will be a bag of pucks (for both!!!)

Avatar
#70 Jodes
January 30 2010, 10:35PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I think I will be stunned rigid the next time the Oilers win a game. I can't see it coming against Carolina or Philly, with both of them turning it around.

Painful, painful days for us Copper and Blue fans in the months ahead, if not years.

I never thought this team would be the Maple Leafs West, I never did.

Sigh.

Avatar
#71 AlbertaOiler72
January 30 2010, 10:36PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Just a pathetic effort. Do these guys have any pride or leadership. I can't believe the passive response to the Flames challenge. I guess they figure that the meek shall inherit the earth.

Avatar
#72 Dan the Man
January 30 2010, 10:37PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

That would be just effin perfect if Souray was hurt.

Avatar
#73 dragon
January 30 2010, 10:42PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Dan the Man wrote:

That would be just effin perfect if Souray was hurt.

it looked like his last game as an Oiler, anyway.

saying goodbye and settling his tab with Iggy...

classy guy caught in an impossible organization.

*sigh*

Avatar
#74 The Real Scuba Steve
January 30 2010, 10:43PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I can't believe we have not won in the month of January, and for the first time ever lose the entire season series to the Flames. I now think Tambo is not the right choice for running the Oil.

Avatar
#75 David S
January 30 2010, 10:43PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

A listless, sad, sad effort. I get that the team is throwing the season, but do they have to be so damn obvious about it? The only guys that seem to care at all are Gagner and Nilsson (who puts at east two beauties a night on Penner' stick).

Its OK to suck, it happens to everybody. Its NOT OK to give up and just mail it in.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Avatar
#76 The Real Scuba Steve
January 30 2010, 10:44PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
dragon wrote:

it looked like his last game as an Oiler, anyway.

saying goodbye and settling his tab with Iggy...

classy guy caught in an impossible organization.

*sigh*

I agree, Tambo is to blame.

Avatar
#77 dragon
January 30 2010, 10:44PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

organization clean-up has started:

among jobs posted on the UofA MBA board:

•Edmonton Oilers Hockey Club: VP Consumer Marketing/Brand Management

that's the most pressing need: the Brand Management!!!

Avatar
#78 dragon
January 30 2010, 10:45PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
David S wrote:

A listless, sad, sad effort. I get that the team is throwing the season, but do they have to be so damn obvious about it? The only guys that seem to care at all are Gagner and Nilsson (who puts at east two beauties a night on Penner' stick).

Its OK to suck, it happens to everybody. Its NOT OK to give up and just mail it in.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

'cause they are RFA and no they cannot go anywhere too soon. :-)))

Avatar
#79 ryan
January 30 2010, 10:49PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Well this is officially rock bottom for me as an Oilers fan. For the rest of this season I'll have the games on in the background, but will not be cheering or emotionally involved. Mgmt better wake the f*ck up this summer or I'm going to become a Rush fan.

IHWT (In Hall we Trust)

Avatar
#80 Jodes
January 30 2010, 10:50PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
dragon wrote:

'cause they are RFA and no they cannot go anywhere too soon. :-)))

I don't know about that.. I'm sure there's someone out there (Buffalo) that would love to kick us while we're down and offer Gagner big coin, I know Toronto can't, but I wouldn't put it past someone else to throw an offer on Gags or Cogs.

Avatar
#81 AlbertaOiler72
January 30 2010, 10:51PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Games like the one tonight make me long for the days when if you lost 6-1, the game would take 3 1/2 hours with 300pims and suspensions to follow. Thanks for making hockey so bland Bettman1

Avatar
#82 OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F
January 30 2010, 10:57PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Jodes wrote:

I don't know about that.. I'm sure there's someone out there (Buffalo) that would love to kick us while we're down and offer Gagner big coin, I know Toronto can't, but I wouldn't put it past someone else to throw an offer on Gags or Cogs.

Quit fear mongering, Cogliano's demand will be pretty low.

Gagner is showing some signs of taking the next step and could be looking at 55+ points this year. I could MAYBE see him garnering offeres in the 4 range... but I doubt it. Theirs also few teams out their with space to do it.

Avatar
#83 Jodes
January 30 2010, 11:00PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Fear Mongering? Now I've heard everything..

Avatar
#84 RossCreekNation
January 30 2010, 11:06PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

As per Pat Quinn, Sheldon Souray fractured his hand.

Avatar
#85 Jodes
January 30 2010, 11:07PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Ugg.. Fractured Wrist for Souray..

Damn my Jedi powers..I guess maybe I shouldn't have said he'd be hurt tonight! lol

Sorry Shelly, you're going to have to stay a bit longer in Toilet Country!

Avatar
#86 dragon
January 30 2010, 11:07PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I guess Big Sexy is done.

What a cool exit: breaking your hand on Iggy's face!

Enjoy time closer to your girls, Sheldon!

Avatar
#87 Calvin
January 30 2010, 11:08PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Brothers of the Nation! I must confess that on the last Calgary goal, I cheered. I have betrayed the Nation, and I apologize. I do repent! I do repent!

Avatar
#88 dragon
January 30 2010, 11:13PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
RossCreekNation wrote:

As per Pat Quinn, Sheldon Souray fractured his hand.

another huge dent in Tambo's garage sale, eh?

oh, wait a second: with Souray , Hemmer, Rehabi, Staios and Smid healthy next season, plus Horcoff fixing his shoulder in the off-season, DO WE REALLY NEED ANY MOVES?

~ this team will be a contender when all will be back healthy ~

buhahaha

Avatar
#89 Racki
January 30 2010, 11:13PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Fractured hand for Souray.... it could keep him out for the remainder of the season, depending on how bad it is. A little over 1 month until trade deadline.....

Looks like it could extend his life as an Oiler.

Avatar
#90 Jodes
January 30 2010, 11:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I wonder if the people that spent money on those "Sportsnet" mini packs will want to try and return their tickets?

I can just imagine what the last 13 or so home games are going to be like.

Avatar
#91 OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F
January 30 2010, 11:19PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Jodes wrote:

Fear Mongering? Now I've heard everything..

RFA offers are rare to begin with. cap space is going to be tight league wide. Cogs isn't on anyones radar right now.

Of all the things Oiler fans have to worry about, RFA offers should be down near the bottom.

Avatar
#92 Jodes
January 30 2010, 11:20PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Cogs isn't on anyone's radar? Well I guess all those rumours of teams wanting him are false?

Avatar
#93 dragon
January 30 2010, 11:22PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F wrote:

RFA offers are rare to begin with. cap space is going to be tight league wide. Cogs isn't on anyones radar right now.

Of all the things Oiler fans have to worry about, RFA offers should be down near the bottom.

quite right.

i'll start worrying about Tambo firing Quinn, Lowe firing Tambo, Katz firing Lowe and then naming Messier GM and Gretz coach...

how's that for worrying. ;-)

Avatar
#94 OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F
January 30 2010, 11:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Jodes wrote:

Cogs isn't on anyone's radar? Well I guess all those rumours of teams wanting him are false?

He's not a "hot commodity" who's going to overpay for a guy that likely isn't going to hit double digits for goals?

Avatar
#95 Jodes
January 30 2010, 11:27PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
dragon wrote:

quite right.

i'll start worrying about Tambo firing Quinn, Lowe firing Tambo, Katz firing Lowe and then naming Messier GM and Gretz coach...

how's that for worrying. ;-)

Now that's Fear Mongering!

As for Cogs, I didn't say he was a "HOT commodity" I just said that he could possibly be given an offer sheet.

So could Brule.

Just with the crappy luck this team has been having, it wouldn't surprise me if someone came out of the woodwork and try something like that. Not saying it will happen, but it wouldn't shock me.

I just don't know if it can get any worse!

Avatar
#96 Oil_Man
January 30 2010, 11:41PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Well there goes one more game and another embarassing loss...PLEASE TAMBO DO SOMETHING!!! Doing nothing at this point is just going piss off more fans

Avatar
#97 Travis Dakin
January 30 2010, 11:46PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

The English language contains no words that can describe this...

Avatar
#98 hatecrime
January 30 2010, 11:54PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I hope katz fires everybody!!!!!!!!!!

Avatar
#99 Twiggs
January 31 2010, 12:31AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Supporting the Oil through a poor season with the hopes of a top draft pick is one thing. The debacle that they have presented over the last month is something completely different. Its becoming mind numbingly unbearable.

Avatar
#100 mowgli
January 31 2010, 01:25AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

good to see someone hit Horcoff in the face with a upper-cut.

We need Hemmer back if we wanna win one game this year.

Comments are closed for this article.