HORCOFF NAMED AS C13

Wanye
October 06 2010 02:37PM

 

The Edmonton Oilers surprised very few today with the announcement that Shawn Horcoff will be the thirteeth Captain of the Edmonton Oilers. A veteran leader in the Oilers dressing room and one of the richest people in Canada, he will be in charge of molding the team intp Stanley Cup Contenders and general father figuring to the apple cheeked youngsters.

Say the Oilers on the matter:

"The Edmonton Oilers have named Shawn Horcoff as their new captain, making him the 13th player to wear the “C” since the team joined the NHL in 1979. The 32-year-old centre is entering his 10th NHL season, all with the Oilers.

Drafted in the 4th round (99th overall) in the 1998 NHL Entry Draft, the 6’1”, 208 pound native of Trail, British Columbia has scored 374 points (133G, 241A) with 417 penalty minutes in 637 career games.

Horcoff played four years with Michigan State University before joining the Oilers and was named the CCHA Player of the Year as well as a finalist for the Hobey Baker Award. Internationally, Horcoff has represented Canada three times at the World Championships, winning Gold in 2003 and 2004 and Silver in 2005. Off the ice Horcoff is prominent in the community and is currently running “Horcoff’s Heroes”, a program which he and his wife, Cindy, started.

The program allows groups of children an opportunity to attend an Oilers game throughout the season, and meet Shawn before the game for pictures and autographs."

OILERS CAPTAINS O' THE PAST

  • Ron Chipperfield (1979-80)
  • Blair MacDonald (1980-81)
  • Lee Fogolin (1980-81 to 1982-1983)
  • Wayne Gretzky (1983-84 to 1987-88)
  • Mark Messier (1988-89 to 1990-91)
  • Kevin Lowe (1991-92)
  • Craig MacTavish (1992-93 to 1993-94)
  • Shayne Corson (1994-95)
  • Kelly Buchberger (1995-96 to 1998-99)
  • Doug Weight (1999-00 to 2000-01)
  • Jason Smith (2001-02 to 2006-07)
  • Ethan Moreau (2007-08 to 2009-10)

We would like to be the first to salute the C13 and bow before His mighty will. Lead us to victory Sir.

Because we want wins like we want pizza. If you could somehow arrange both that would be sick.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 Robin Brownlee
October 06 2010, 02:57PM
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@Mills

I remember the first time I had sex at 33...no comdom. Stupid! That could've been me! All you kids out there, be smart, wear a hat. FIXED

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#2 David S
October 06 2010, 03:59PM
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I for one welcome our new Horcoffian overlord.

Just think, kids will be practicing "the whiff" against garage doors all over Edmonton. Moms will be happy because those same garage doors won't have one single soggy tennis ball mark on them.

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#3 book¡e
October 06 2010, 03:14PM
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This article and the comments that follow make me even more excited that the season starts tomorrow and we will have things to talk about.

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#4 Mason Storm
October 06 2010, 03:27PM
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@ryankenney88 I would advise against provoking Chuck Norris.... Nevermind you are now dead. Do not provoke Chuck

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#5 rubbertrout
October 06 2010, 03:45PM
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Wanye wrote:

Please no DK0. Please no Stortini for Captain talk. A Captain needs to be capable of speaking intelligently to media, team mates and referees. Occasionally smashing and mostly hugging doesn't count as leadership.

Buchberger met these requirements?

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#6 yegCopywriter
October 06 2010, 04:15PM
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Mason Storm wrote:

@ryankenney88 I would advise against provoking Chuck Norris.... Nevermind you are now dead. Do not provoke Chuck

Chuck Norris has me in his grasp right now, allowing me to type one final message.

DON'T...SCREW...WITH...CHU

Wha? I'm free!

*sees Captain Horc dash out the door on route to saving another Oilers fan in peril*

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#7 Tha Legion
October 06 2010, 02:40PM
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Reserved for funny comment

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#9 Brian V
October 06 2010, 02:44PM
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Years ago when Horcoff dreamed of being a Captain in the NHL I bet he believed the announcement would ultimately come in an article with a picture of a British 13 year old father and a slowed down version of an Olsen DVD.

LOL

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#10 BurkeTheTurd
October 06 2010, 02:45PM
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I really hope the news article is not true...dad at 13..yikes. The girl in the corner does look like she would pray on some victims.....anyways, good article, hope horcoff can get back to 50 plus points

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#12 Mills
October 06 2010, 02:49PM
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I remember the first time I (mills you CAD- wg) Stupid! That could've been me! All you kids out there, be smart, wear a hat.

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#13 Roadhouse
October 06 2010, 02:53PM
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Safe to say that shakey Shayne Corson was the worst choice for Oilers captain.

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#14 Roadhouse
October 06 2010, 02:55PM
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Corson was too busy showing the young guys how to chase cooze at Barely Teens.

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#15 DJ Dynasty Handbag
October 06 2010, 02:56PM
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that pizza song/video is a gift that we should all treasure

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#16 BurkeTheTurd
October 06 2010, 03:08PM
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Wanye wrote:

That is a true story from England a few years back. Good article? That may be stretching it a hair but thank you. Real commentary will be soon to come by the heavy hitters I'm sure.

Until then however - whip cream pouring like waterfalls!

Great article! What can i say im in a good mood, season starts tomorrow.

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#18 TigerUnderGlass
October 06 2010, 03:09PM
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Robin Brownlee wrote:

I remember the first time I had sex at 33...no comdom. Stupid! That could've been me! All you kids out there, be smart, wear a hat. FIXED

Ha! I almost posted the exact same reply.

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#19 yegCopywriter
October 06 2010, 03:11PM
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Horcoff can carry the weight of this team on his shoulders.

No seriously, he can carry 4600 lbs on his shoulders.

Chuck Norris, you've got nothing on Captain Horc.

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#21 Petr's Jofa
October 06 2010, 03:17PM
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The 13 year old father story turned out to be a hoax.

http://www.smh.com.au/world/13yearold-father-alfie-the-victim-of-cash-scam-girlfriends-family-friend-says-20090219-8bq0.html

*Smiles to himself knowing that years of surfing the internet at work have finally paid off.*

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#22 Hemmertime
October 06 2010, 03:17PM
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I think Smid is captain material in the future. For now though, Horc has earned it and is the right choice.

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#23 Hemmertime
October 06 2010, 03:19PM
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@Petr's Jofa

The youngest father was 7 or 8 years old.

My cousin fathered a child at 13. Shes 17 and he is 30 now. Interesting father/daughter dynamic with that little between you.

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#25 DK0
October 06 2010, 03:23PM
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@Hemmertime

I love Smid but i think your captain should be one of those injury proof guys. Ole Smiddy would take another headshot and be out for a season with whiplash and not be much use as a captain.

Storts for captain just based on him bending his knee 90 degrees the wrong way and sitting down for what was it, 3 games?

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#27 Death Metal Nightmare
October 06 2010, 03:27PM
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the fat chicks face on the bottom of the tabloid pic rules. total Homer Simpson Meow Mix face. "i know you can hear me, boy"

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#28 loilfan
October 06 2010, 03:31PM
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It's only been a few hours and you're already discussing who the next Captain will be?

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#29 D
October 06 2010, 03:35PM
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Is Horc the Fogolin of the new era?

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#30 Adam D
October 06 2010, 03:39PM
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That kid never should have MacTavish'd.

(C'mon, an Oilers thread about an unwanted child AND the Oilers captaincy, and it took this long for such a comment to be made? For shaaaaaaame.)

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#31 loilfan
October 06 2010, 03:44PM
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Adam D wrote:

That kid never should have MacTavish'd.

(C'mon, an Oilers thread about an unwanted child AND the Oilers captaincy, and it took this long for such a comment to be made? For shaaaaaaame.)

hahaha golden

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#32 Mills
October 06 2010, 03:48PM
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Mills wrote:

I remember the first time I (mills you CAD- wg) Stupid! That could've been me! All you kids out there, be smart, wear a hat.

That guy stole my name and used it for a terrible joke. Weak.

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#33 DK0
October 06 2010, 03:49PM
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@rubbertrout

hahaha, perfect.

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#34 Hallisimo
October 06 2010, 03:56PM
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What no comments on Souray being loaned to Hershey?

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#35 Woogie
October 06 2010, 04:10PM
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David S wrote:

I for one welcome our new Horcoffian overlord.

Just think, kids will be practicing "the whiff" against garage doors all over Edmonton. Moms will be happy because those same garage doors won't have one single soggy tennis ball mark on them.

HA! My mom/dad use to get so pissed.

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#36 Aendayana
October 06 2010, 04:14PM
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Wanye wrote: Please no DK0. Please no Stortini for Captain talk. A Captain needs to be capable of speaking intelligently to media, team mates and referees. Occasionally smashing and mostly hugging doesn't count as leadership.

Buchberger met these requirements?

wow he's an asst coach

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#37 Aendayana
October 06 2010, 04:15PM
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At this rate Bucky will be a GM one day of the Oilers

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#38 Aendayana
October 06 2010, 04:23PM
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At this point I hope sending Souray to Hershey was to serve 2 points going forward. First, to show that just like the most respected sports franchises in the world, in the hockey world you don't disrespect the Edmonton Oilers. For too long now athletes have been able to treat this franchise poorly. Secondly, now leave him there for the whole year to teach some humility. Hope he has a good season, stays healthy, perhaps next summer with one year left on his contract looking solid in the AHL somebody will pick him up as a power play quarter back, knowing that his abilities are limited. Worst players making more money play in the NHL all the time. This would be asset management. I just hope management thinks along these lines and not just being petty. Next year at this point we could have a middle prospect for him. Have fun in Hershey. PS for him to have a good season won't be difficult. I believe the Bears are back-to-back champions.

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#39 Aendayana
October 06 2010, 04:26PM
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Halladay absolutely rocks.

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#40 Cru Jones
October 06 2010, 04:30PM
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Slow Pizza is the new Ghost Ride

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#43 Bucknuck
October 06 2010, 04:44PM
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Nice work Oilers. I agree with this move and I hope that Shawn has a career year in 2010-2011 to add an exclamation point.

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#44 DK0
October 06 2010, 04:44PM
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@Wanye

Ok before this gets out of hand with people posting legitimate points and counter-points to the captaincy of any Oiler other then Horcoff, my joke was simply that Smid wouldn't be a good captain because he gets injured sometimes. Probably should have squiggled that :P SO in order to make my post even more ridiculous i suggested an opposite of Smid, a player that suffered a horrific looking injury but barely missed any time.

Probably a good thing I didn't go with the statistic injury avoidance machine Gilbert or people would have assumed I was even more serious.

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#45 book¡e
October 06 2010, 05:00PM
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Wanye wrote:

Thank you for bringing us down Professor Negativity.

*tear*

It wasn't meant as an insult - its just what happens come this time of year. I am pretty sure that you and everyone commenting are aware of how bad it is. We need some real hockey.

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#46 Milli
October 06 2010, 05:13PM
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Good choice and the only choice. God 18 mere hours from now the pregame drinking will begin!!!!

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#47 @Oilanderp
October 06 2010, 05:14PM
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That 13 year old boy was NOT the father, it was a hoax. It was discovered that the origin of the pregnancy was NOT the 13 year old boy, but rather that the mother was the first person to touch the gas pump after Shawn Horcoff had been seen in the area fuelling up: so powerful is our 13th captains sperm. Go Horc!

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#48 Puritania
October 06 2010, 05:26PM
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Damn you Wanye, quit forcing me into mushroom flashbacks with that video!*

*Please continue to post that video in as many articles as possible, that sh*t is hilarious.

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#50 Puritania
October 06 2010, 05:40PM
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@Wanye

If you manage to sneak this gem into one of your posts you sir will be the C13 of my life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wc3f4xU_FfQ&feature=related

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