December 22 2010 09:29PM
Frank Costanza: "And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year!" On Festivus eve, I thought it might be an idea to get a head start.
Here are my issues with the Edmonton Oilers hockey club:
- Why don't you address the penality kill? It's really horrible. Call up Reddox, make a trade or sign one of the many free agents still out there. But do something. I don't expect this team to make the playoffs (making me more realistic than the coach) but lordy it would be nice for the kids to see how a penalty kill works.
- Faceoffs. Win them! I was listening to a Logan Couture interview the other day and he says the Sharks pride themselves on winning faceoffs. It's a real focus for the entire team, from the coaching staff all the way down to the wingers who don't take too many draws. They're all pulling together. What are they doing that the Oilers aren't doing? Couture is over 50%. Why is that? Maybe someone should look into it since it's been an issue since 2006 spring.
- I don't like the implied threats about the arena. I trust the Oilers know exactly what they're doing in terms of public relations, the way an adult female knows exactly what is and isn't covered with every outfit she owns. There's an undeniable message being sent when "leaks" about "relocating to Quebec City" are allowed to float out into the ether for a few hours before the "we have no plans to move the Oilers at this time" presser reaches the bloodstream. I hope the Katz group remembers there is an enormous amount of resentment over the way Peter Pocklington went Harold Hill on this city and its residents. Let the giant sleep. If it wakes, you won't like it.
- Be nicer to Northlands. You're going to be hiring their employees soon. We're seeing the last few months of Northlands. It's like one of those nature shows where the cheetah takes a snake bite and dies over 8 hours. Painful. The Katz plan (as I understand it) will render Northlands obsolete, but the employees represent Marian the librarian and could be very important to the finale. Anyway, I hope it works out but we're miles from 'Til There Was You.
That's about it. Happy Festivus, everyone! And best of the holidays to you!