LET THE GAMES BEGIN

Wanye
February 12 2010 02:42PM

We will lead off by saying that we get excited about the Olympics. A 13 year old girl at a Justin Bieber autograph signing type excited. So you will have to take us with a grain of salt once the games kick get underway as we post 12,789 gushing comments like “Aren’t the Canadian Mens’ two man bobsled team the BOMB? Can you believe that Lyndon Rush won’t sled with Pierre Lueders anymore? What’s up with that?

Most people are going into these games with the attitude of “Olympic hockey is the only thing that matters and don’t waste my time with anything else.” We can respect the fact that the Ice Hockey is numbero uno prioritato at these here games and we can guarantee that you can get your Olympic Hockey fix right here provided you are cheering on the home team.

And while the 3 Nations are temporarily coming together for a common cause, it in no way means that we have anything in common with that TLP – who we might add is an American and probably holds out some sort of weird hope that Ron Wilson can Coach the Red White and Blue to a fourth place finish.

FAT CHANCE

Cheering for Team Canada is going to be a damn sight better than the status quo up here in Edmonton, which has consisted lately of 12,789 articles about “who gets traded when and for what” and researching “all time losses in a row.” In fact it might be difficult for us to get our collective Oilers loving heads around cheering for hockey that matters again, but we are going to give it a shot.

Plus, there isn’t a single Oiler on Team Canada, which will give all of us pain stricken Oilers fans a two week break from having our hearts kicked in by the same old suspects on a nightly basis without being a turncoat and cheering for a different team. It’s basically one of the first win-win scenarios we have seen here in awhile.

To kick off the Olympic fun, we are going to give you a quick breakdown of some Olympic Hockey Biz. Let’s start getting our heads in the game Nations.

OLYMPIC BREAKDOWN

Remember the 2006 games in Turin? Wasn’t that just the worst thing that ever happened ever? For the thousands of four year old Nation readers out there who may not remember the last Olympics and might think that the greatest hockey country in the world finished respectably, think again.

Final Standings – 2006 Olympic Men’s Ice Hockey

1. Sweden (Gold)

2. Finland (Silver)

3. Czech Republic (Bronze)

4. Russia

5. Slovakia

6. Switzerland

7. Canada

8. United States

9. Kazakhstan

10. Germany

11. Italy

12. Latvia

You might look at the top of the standings and ask yourself “Gee whiz, where’s the Canadian team? I could swear we sent all our best players over to Italy to play…” Look down the ladder. Waaaaay down there to 7th place. Yep, that’s right. 2 spots ahead of the birth place of Borat sits the Canadian team. Small consolation that we finished ahead of the Americans when you let the Swiss finish ahead of you in the standings.

Ugh. The Swiss.

PAYBACK

You have to think that the Canadians – and the Americans for that matter – are looking for sweet, sweet revenge at these here Olympic Games. Before we start pumping ourselves up about the new roster, we thought we would take a look back at the roster that screwed the pooch back in ’06 and see who is returning to dispense some West Coast Payback on our collective behalf.

2006 Olympic roster

G Martin Brodeur (back)

G Roberto Luongo (back)

G Marty Turco (gonzo)

D Rob Blake (A) (gonzo)

D Jay Bouwmeester (gonzo)

D Adam Foote (gonzo)

D Bryan McCabe (gonzo)

D Chris Pronger (A) (back)

D Wade Redden (gonzo)

D Robyn Regehr (gonzo)

F Todd Bertuzzi (gonzo)

F Shane Doan (gonzo)

F Kris Draper (gonzo)

F Simon Gagné (gonzo)

F Dany Heatley (back)

F Jarome Iginla (back)

F Vincent Lecavalier (gonzo)

F Rick Nash (back)

F Brad Richards (gonzo)

F Joe Sakic (C) (gonzo)

F Ryan Smyth (gonzo)

F Martin St. Louis (gonzo)

F Joe Thornton (back)

Reserves

Dan Boyle (back)

Jason Spezza (gonzo)

Eric Staal (back)

Oh man, it is no small wonder that the Canadians did so crappy in 2006? Do you see who some of these players are? Kris Draper? Todd Bertuzzi? Bryan McCabe? Har har har har har!

*wipes eyes, blows nose*

That’s good stuff. Let’s look more in depth at the changes to the squad.

GOALTENDING

Turco is out, Fleury is in and this will be Brodeur’s squad to lead onto the ice in Van City. Nothing too crazy here we don’t think. Turco is getting a bit long in the tooth and MAF has won a Cup and theoretically has what it takes to win big games. We would clearly consider this Brodeur’s squad though and Fleury is in charge of sitting in the stands near the bench, looking as cool as he can muster and telling girls in the bar that he is “an Olympic gold medalist in training.”

DEFENSIVE CORPS

Amazingly, only one defenseman from 2006 is returning to the Olympic Team; world famous baby daddy Chris F.U. Pronger. Technically Niedermayer was on the 2006 squadron too, but an injury took him out of the lineup and threw McCabe in. The idea that some of these players were the best defenseman that the 2006 Edition of Canada could produce is a tad alarming.

This 2010 edition being iced is certainly a superior squad, younger, tougher and much more sexy with the deletion of Adam Foote. Some of the ‘06 defensemen led to a hearty round of laughter and table smashing here at OilersNation HQ. McCabe? Redden? Please, our sides are hurting. Wade Redden couldn’t be loved less in NY and McCabe has gone to Florida where NHL’ers retire 4 years before they actually leave the league.

FORWARDS

10 forwards aren’t coming back from last Olympics and that is just A-OK from where we sit. This is certainly a new squad, let’s hope there is going to be a different result. We are pumped beyond belief to see the Corey Perrys the Ryan Getzlafs of the world in a Team Canada Jersey. Finally we too can cheer for some players that have been sticking it to the Oil for what seems like hundreds of years without guilt of abandoning the home squad.

Ladies and Gentlemen – your 2010 Olympic Roster

G Martin Brodeur

G Marc-André Fleury

G Roberto Luongo

D Dan Boyle

D Drew Doughty

D Duncan Keith

D Scott Niedermayer – C

D Chris Pronger – A

D Brent Seabrook

D Shea Weber

F Patrice Bergeron

F Sidney Crosby – A

F Ryan Getzlaf

F Dany Heatley

F Jarome Iginla – A

F Patrick Marleau

F Brenden Morrow

F Rick Nash - A

F Mike Richards

F Corey Perry

F Eric Staal

F Joe Thornton

F Jonathan Toews

Reserve

F Jeff Carter

HOW WILL THEY DO?

Yes Amanda, we are number one.

We are the same guy who picks Oilers in every single hockey draft every single year regardless of how the team is actually going to look. Our 933rd place standing in the NationDraft will attest to that and so it should come as no surprise that we are going to pick Canada to win Gold. But unlike picking Comrie to outscore Bobby Ryan (which we also did) we think that the Canadians actually will win Gold, picking with our brains over our hearts.

Predicato del resultat:

1. Canada (Gold)

2. Russia (Silver)

3. Sweden (Bronze)

4. Finland

5. United States

6. Czech Republic

7. Slovakia

 

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#151 Harlie
February 12 2010, 10:43PM
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Bryzarro World wrote:

I would have lasers, guitars, beer, chicks with hockey sticks shooting golf balls in seal bikinis, Fraggles, Rush, the 1990 Toronto Maple Leafs, Bret Hart, Tron and chicks at these opening ceremonies..

Although some of the effects are pretty cool.

Cyclops can have KD Lang...

haha! I've got a stand up Tron arcade in garage. Classic!

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#153 jeanshorts
February 12 2010, 10:53PM
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David S wrote:

Well, well, well. This sounded like another made in Canada ("don't show off toooo much") non-event. But I do have to say, I caught the Nellie Furtado segment while at the gym and almost fell off my bike. Holy mother of god she was hot. Was that not the hottest dress in modern history??? Dammnnnn!

My lord. I don't think I've ever seen Nelly Furtado look hotter. And I've seen Nelly Furtado look wicked hot. Easily the best part of the ceremony.

Well, that, or when OilersJambalaya posted a link to Paulina Gretzky's Twitter pictures. That was amazing.

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#154 David S
February 12 2010, 11:01PM
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I think they could have done without that much gratuitous "aboriginal content" though. Its become a Canadian stereotype I'm afraid.

"Hmmm...I wonder what they'll harp on in the opening ceremonies? Oh. Right."

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#155 David S
February 12 2010, 11:03PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

My lord. I don't think I've ever seen Nelly Furtado look hotter. And I've seen Nelly Furtado look wicked hot. Easily the best part of the ceremony.

Well, that, or when OilersJambalaya posted a link to Paulina Gretzky's Twitter pictures. That was amazing.

That blue dress was ridiculous. Already tried Googling, but it may take a day or so for pics to show up. I forgot just how hot she is. THEN SHE SUCKED ME BACK IN!!!.

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#156 Smokin' Ray
February 12 2010, 11:04PM
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Holy hell! I thought for a minute I hit the wrong link and was at fLamesnation. Nice work here guys. Makes me in the mood for the Olympics.

Talk about an epic fail tonight. What could go wrong, did go wrong. And this is just the first day. YIKES!

Love the OilersNation logo in gold. Classy. GOCANADA!!!

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#157 Smokin' Ray
February 12 2010, 11:05PM
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Here's another one. *drools* http://tweetphoto.com/10194332

and another. http://tweetphoto.com/9452209

I think that should do it.

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#158 David S
February 12 2010, 11:12PM
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Smokin' Ray wrote:

Here's another one. *drools* http://tweetphoto.com/10194332

and another. http://tweetphoto.com/9452209

I think that should do it.

OH COME ONNNNN!!!!

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#159 jeanshorts
February 12 2010, 11:14PM
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@Smokin' Ray

Seriously, Wayne Gretzky has never been crappy at anything, and clearly making babies is no exception.

Although, coaching may be an exception......

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#160 jeanshorts
February 12 2010, 11:15PM
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David S wrote:

OH COME ONNNNN!!!!

RRRIIIIGGGHHHHTTTT????

Now you see why I missed like 15 minutes worth of the ceremony.

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#161 David S
February 12 2010, 11:17PM
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Hey look. They gave everybody cute little drums.

*pukes*

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#163 jeanshorts
February 12 2010, 11:20PM
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@Wanye

**FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP**

*pokes his head up from underneath the covers*

Did someone say something?

**FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP**

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#164 David S
February 12 2010, 11:20PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Seriously, Wayne Gretzky has never been crappy at anything, and clearly making babies is no exception.

Although, coaching may be an exception......

He's still scoring...

http://tweetphoto.com/9176870

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#165 jeanshorts
February 12 2010, 11:24PM
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@David S

It's like "Hey JS, you can have this satchel of gold coins, or this slightly older satchel of gold coins. Which one you want?"

And then I just evaporate into dust because I can't fathom how amazing either of those options are.

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#166 David S
February 12 2010, 11:29PM
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I'm just watching CTV's "Game in an hour" Oly recap. KD Lang is going for the all-time record for depressing people. Should be good as over 2 billion people were watching the opening ceremonies. Watch the world's suicide rate spike over the next few hours.

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#167 David S
February 12 2010, 11:31PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

It's like "Hey JS, you can have this satchel of gold coins, or this slightly older satchel of gold coins. Which one you want?"

And then I just evaporate into dust because I can't fathom how amazing either of those options are.

You sir have a way with words.

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#168 jeanshorts
February 12 2010, 11:32PM
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@David S

Are people killing themselves because they got super excited to see Clay Aiken, only to realize it was actually KD Lang?

Not that it happened to me or anything....

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#169 Harlie
February 12 2010, 11:36PM
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@jeanshorts

Elvis died and KD Lang inherited his body.

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#170 David S
February 12 2010, 11:37PM
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Nice to see JV and Bobby Orr.

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#171 Harlie
February 12 2010, 11:38PM
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and seriously what does KD stand for? Kentucky Dried? Cuz with that white suit on I thought it might have been Colonel Sanders.

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#172 David S
February 12 2010, 11:38PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Are people killing themselves because they got super excited to see Clay Aiken, only to realize it was actually KD Lang?

Not that it happened to me or anything....

Nope. KD Lang just made 2 billion people realize their life sucked.

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#173 David S
February 12 2010, 11:40PM
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"Without doping and without drugs."

*Half the athletes skulk out the back exit*

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#174 jeanshorts
February 12 2010, 11:45PM
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David S wrote:

"Without doping and without drugs."

*Half the athletes skulk out the back exit*

I had to do a double take. I was all like "SAY WHA? Did they really just drop in an anti-steroid message in there?"

I hope it's been in there since like 1930 or something. Because if they just added it in the last 5 or 10 years that would be super lame.

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#175 David S
February 12 2010, 11:48PM
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@JS - Hey WTF? Aren't you supposed to be out making like an "Olympic shampion"? I mean, this HAS to be like shooting fish in a barrel.

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#176 jeanshorts
February 12 2010, 11:52PM
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@David S

I'm trying to finish kicking this cold in the ass, and there's a large contingent of "my people" from Alberta rolling in tonight and tomorrow so I'm also letting my wallet have a rest tonight so things can get really out of hand tomorrow and Sunday, and everyday for the next 2 weeks.

Don't you worry your pretty little head. I have plenty of time to set this town, and my urine, on fire.

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#177 David S
February 12 2010, 11:57PM
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Geez that was weak. Topped off by one of the pillars malfunctioning in the stadium. Poor Catriona. She must have felt like a dope just standing there.

Welp. At least Travis will sleep well tonight.

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#178 Harlie
February 12 2010, 11:57PM
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David S wrote:

"Without doping and without drugs."

*Half the athletes skulk out the back exit*

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2005/all-drug-olympics-p1.php

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#179 Harlie
February 13 2010, 12:04AM
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i still think that dude who flew in on a jet pack in the 84" opening ceremonies in LA was the coolest.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5qBLoegGz4

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#180 Archaeologuy
February 13 2010, 12:06AM
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That ended really poorly. We couldnt get the pillars to work, couldnt get the doors to open, and stuck the greatest Hockey player in the history of the game in the back of a truck like Cletus the slack-jawed yokel.

I thought there were a lot of really great parts of the ceremony, but that ending was flat.

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#181 Archaeologuy
February 13 2010, 12:09AM
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And I hadnt seen that Video of Hedger shoving her tongue down that other chick's throat before. My Olympic experience is so far one I will not forget.

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#182 David S
February 13 2010, 12:13AM
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Yeah. Gretz in the back of a truck. Klassy.

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#183 Librarian Mike
February 13 2010, 12:17AM
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David S wrote:

Yeah. Gretz in the back of a truck. Klassy.

Kinda reminds me of that scene in Borat when he's leaving his hometown in a car being pulled by a horse.

*yawns* See y'all when the Olympics are over.

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#184 Eric Johnson
February 13 2010, 12:20AM
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@David S

David really? Nothing about that you found, say moving? or patriotic?

As for the stereo type of Canada being first nations I for one was thrilled to see them as the centerpiece of an international event. Well deserved on the international stage.

I personally thought KD Lang's voice and cover of Leonard Cohen's song to be beautiful.

Despite the fact that we gave our selves the 'shaft' at the end with the malfunction of the stage rig.

I'm not gonna lie, this opening ceremony moved me as a canadian.. like OIler playoff hockey, Gretzky doing the opening face off moving.

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#185 Archaeologuy
February 13 2010, 12:25AM
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@Eric Johnson

I really liked the poet they had. That was interesting.

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#186 Victoria
February 13 2010, 12:33AM
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Bryzarro World wrote:

Friends from Chicago breakin my balls on Facebook.. Saying we a nation of Native Americans and Tranny Singers... WHY Vancover... Why???

So, you're friends are as red-necked as you are, huh?

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#187 Victoria
February 13 2010, 12:35AM
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Eric Johnson wrote:

David really? Nothing about that you found, say moving? or patriotic?

As for the stereo type of Canada being first nations I for one was thrilled to see them as the centerpiece of an international event. Well deserved on the international stage.

I personally thought KD Lang's voice and cover of Leonard Cohen's song to be beautiful.

Despite the fact that we gave our selves the 'shaft' at the end with the malfunction of the stage rig.

I'm not gonna lie, this opening ceremony moved me as a canadian.. like OIler playoff hockey, Gretzky doing the opening face off moving.

Glad to know someone else felt the same about the ceremony as I did.

Could've done without the bad lip-syncing from Nelly and Bryan, though.

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#188 Eric Johnson
February 13 2010, 12:56AM
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Archaeologuy wrote:

I really liked the poet they had. That was interesting.

I for one think you can never win when doing anything in a subjective art form.

BUT that being said, I know I am biased and all, but I thought it was beautiful and a great representation(idealistic maybe) of our country.

Sure it was melodramatic at times, but hell man it's the Olympics the entire thing is covered in sugar coated moments.

I was proud at the show we put on.

Nelly was hot, Sarah was elegant, chicky McAnthem was poised and beautiful.

Song and Dance ain't my thing, BUT at least people singing and dancing about my country is way better then seeing something about how america is "awesome"

GO CANADA!

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#189 Eric Johnson
February 13 2010, 12:58AM
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Victoria wrote:

Glad to know someone else felt the same about the ceremony as I did.

Could've done without the bad lip-syncing from Nelly and Bryan, though.

it was all lip sync'd the drums were too loud:) They have been doing a 'Live' / " recorded mix' for all major live events for the last decade. I wasn't surprised, just surprised how far they were off:)

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#190 Victoria
February 13 2010, 01:02AM
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@Eric Johnson

But did you see Bryan Adams lifting his mic a few words after he started 'singing'?

Went a little 'Ashley Simpson' there.

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#191 Eric Johnson
February 13 2010, 01:02AM
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I also might be a bit of a sucker today as the Torch ran right past my house at lunch time.

I was a little in different up until today about the whole thing. But as soon as the opening ceremonies started I had all of these emotions flood back from Calgary 88'.

I cried when those games were over (I was only 7 so lay off:) but some of the same feelings came back.

I am excited.

Olympics are here

I am going to a quarter finals mens hockey game ( please canada don't be in that and have a by to the semi's)

And I will be glued to my TV for the next 16 days.

Go canada.

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#192 Eric Johnson
February 13 2010, 01:03AM
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Victoria wrote:

But did you see Bryan Adams lifting his mic a few words after he started 'singing'?

Went a little 'Ashley Simpson' there.

Yeah... that was brutal... not gonna lie.:)

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#193 The Towel Boy
February 13 2010, 01:10AM
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I thought the opening ceremony was sweet, moving and quite well done. (except for the CLIMAX! oh well, Sh1t happens)

I feel even prouder to be a Canadian after watching this whole thing.

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#194 Jamie B.
February 13 2010, 01:59AM
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I thought they were very representative of Canada. We're not rich like the US, spending a kajillion dollars on the thing, we don't whip a billion citizens into order like China, it was pretty good with moments of greatness and some screw ups where they did the best they could and carried on. I'm happy enough with that. If the rest of the world doesn't like it they can gtfo. :)

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#195 Harlie
February 13 2010, 07:39AM
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a little gender confusion here...

http://blog.taragana.com/sports/2010/02/13/kd-lang-hallelujah-enthralls-audience-75018/

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#196 Shaun Doe
February 13 2010, 07:53AM
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I know that alot of people are a little put out by the ammount of aboriginal content in the ceremony but seriously, have they ever left the house? Across Canada (and in B.C. especially) the majority of political and cultural decisions are based with aboriginal lifestyles and feelings in mind. Add to that the fact that when foreigners come here they gobble up the Haida art like candy. What is more symbolic of the B.C. coast than Totem poles (Fairly unique to the bands on the pacific coast). I think it was a gracious and honorable tip of the hat to a demographic who has contributed greatly to these games and who could have just as easily made setting them up a living nightmare. Good on em!

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#197 Lofty
February 13 2010, 07:57AM
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David S wrote:

Yeah. Gretz in the back of a truck. Klassy.

was it a ford?

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#198 Harlie
February 13 2010, 08:03AM
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Lofty wrote:

was it a ford?

Nope. A GMC Sierra with a single cab and three dudes crammed in the truck cab while Gretzky froze his ass off getting rained on while he stood in the back of the truck bed. As they moved through the streets there were drunks running along side of the truck. Looked like a cluster-F.

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#199 rubbertrout
February 13 2010, 08:39AM
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Smokin' Ray wrote:

Here's another one. *drools* http://tweetphoto.com/10194332

and another. http://tweetphoto.com/9452209

I think that should do it.

My good God. I don't care if she is the Princess Gretzky. Want to touch the heinie.

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#200 Archaeologuy
February 13 2010, 08:39AM
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So are we gona have a new general Olympic talk page every day + Men's Hockey Game Day Blog?

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