OGDB2: Swiss Cheese

Wanye
February 18 2010 01:34PM

 

Ah the Swiss. Makers of fine watches and chocolates, inventors of cheese. You are a pleasant mountain nation not unlike Banff, if Banff had a country to call its own that stretched to Jasper and was full of Swiss People.

Yes, if that was a proper country and it had an Olympic Hockey team it would be YOU we are looking to crush tonight in the Ice Hockey Match. So thank your lucky stars you aren't Switzerland Banff, thank your lucky stars.

Funny thing about these here Swiss. They aren't actually all that bad. They have already hung in there with the USA in a 3-1 loss in the first game of an Olympic bid for Gold, which is quite respectable considering the Americans are still relatively fresh in these Games and won't run out of mental gas until the semi finals. 

Lest we forget that the last time these two met in Turino in 2006 , the Swiss had the audacity to shut out the Mighty Canadians 2-0.

*moment of silence*

So we can't take the Swiss lightly or they will rear up and bite us, filling our veins with their venomous venom. That's how Swiss people roll, so keep a sharp eye.

HERE IS YOUR 2010 SWISS ROSTER

Hmmm. What do we have here? Let's take a look shall we?*

*Vegas Todd was kind enough to hook us up with a real roster courtesy of NBC. We don't know why he moved to Vegas, but we appreciate he and his research skills immensely.

GOALIES

Jonas Hiller -  Anaheim Ducks 
Ronnie Rueger  -  Kloten Flyers 
Tobias Stephan  -  HC Geneve Servette 

DEFENSE

Severin Blindenbacher  -   Farjestads BK Karlstad 
Raphael Diaz  -  EV Zug 
Luca Sbisa  -  Portland Winterhawks 
Mathias Seger  -  ZSC Lions Zurich 
Mark Streit -  New York Islanders 
Yannick Weber - Montreal Canadiens 
 

FORWARDS

Andres Ambuhl  -  Hartford Wolf Pack 
Thomas Deruns  -   HC Geneve Servette 
Hnat Domenichelli  -   HC Lugano 
Sandy Jeannin  -   HC Fribourg-Gotteron 
Thibaut Monnet  -  ZSC Lions Zurich 
Thierry Paterlini  -   Rapperswil-Jona Lakers 
Martin Pluss  -  Bern 
Ivo Ruthemann  -  SC Bern 
Raffaele Sannitz  -  HC Lugano 
Julien Sprunger  -  HC Fribourg-Gotteron 
Roman Wick -  Kloten Flyers 

EXPERT ANALYSIS

Big ups to the warsh for the link

Looking down this list of players we don't think that there are a lot of players to be worried about. But then we look at that picture of the Swiss Cobra up there and realize that there is a lot to worry about. The Swiss have all of one forward currently playing in North America and it's in the AHL.

This leaves us wondering how much the Swiss can rely on Mark Streit to score 100% of his team's goals, play sterling defense and possibly Coach the team in between periods if needed. Hiller in net is reasonably sound, except that he is also a total nerd, which ultimately deducts any respect we would give him on account of skill.

Remember Michel Riesen?

Gregor just blew his gasket about the roster we have used for the Swiss team above. (note: we have a real roster now up, but odds are you will keep reading anyway.) One of the only places we could find an actual roster was from the blog linked to above, which claims it took it's information from the IIHF back in late 2009. CTV/TSN/SportsNet/MTV helpfully has no such rosters on their site, but do have a snazzy picture slideshow of some of the players here.

Gregor claims Michel Riesen - former Oilers disaster of a first round pick - isn't playing for the National team. We maintain that he is, because some random blog says he that is. And so went the debate, round and round and round again. This is how Gregor and your ol' pal Wanye spend our days. Yelling about Swiss wingers who disappointed the Oilers last millenium and speculating whether or not they will see action in a loss against the Canadians tonight.

Who will be right? Only time will tell.

That tingling in your arms that you are feeling as you read this is called electricity.

You're welcome.

TEAM VICTORY (CANADA)

Fresh off of an 8-0 stomping of the Norweigians - not the Finns as some moron would have led you to believe - the Canadian team is off to a good start. Iginla has discovered that playing with world class line mates improves your results on the ice and Marc Andre Fleury has found an excellent sushi bar right around the corner from the Athletes Villiage where he can try and convince chicks that he is actually in the NHL.

This will be the first real test for the Canadian team tonight, so we will keep our excitement tuned to a maximum high and defer making any judgements of the team until after the game.

FINALLY

Do Kathy Kreiner (CAN) Gold medalist in the 1976 giant slalom in Innsbruck proud fellas.

Let's get at 'er.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 rubbertrout
February 18 2010, 01:39PM
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FIST!

EDIT: Eat this Fiveandagame! Your dominance of the fisting realm has been usurped.

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#2 the warsh
February 18 2010, 01:40PM
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You need to post that Kids in the Hall sketch "I'm sick of the Swiss!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2XTuc6i1Uo

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#3 Ender
February 18 2010, 01:41PM
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I'd get more work done around the office if I wasn't living in constant fear of being ambushed by a venomous Swiss Cobra.

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#6 OvenChicken8 - Team JSBM
February 18 2010, 01:54PM
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I read somewhere that D-man Sbisa, Flyers pick playing in the WHL, made the team... I guess I will have to wait and see.

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#8 Ambassador humantorch
February 18 2010, 01:56PM
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Of course I want Canada to win by a hundred goals, but I also wouldn't shed too many tears if one of the Norwegians up and cross-checked Heatley's damn head right off his traitorous shoulders.

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#10 DK0
February 18 2010, 01:59PM
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Kids in the hall was the sh*t. LETS GET GIRLY DRINK DRUNK!

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#11 Lisa McRitchie
February 18 2010, 02:10PM
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Ambassador humantorch wrote:

Of course I want Canada to win by a hundred goals, but I also wouldn't shed too many tears if one of the Norwegians up and cross-checked Heatley's damn head right off his traitorous shoulders.

Or Pronger. Lest we forget.

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#12 cambosmash
February 18 2010, 02:10PM
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I know it's no random blog but check this site out. It's made by a large organization known as the "Natural Hockey Life" or something like that. I don't really do acronyms well.

http://www.nhl.com/ice/page.htm?id=58436&intcmpid=nhl-redpill-olyrosters

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#13 rubbertrout
February 18 2010, 02:11PM
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Ambassador humantorch wrote:

Of course I want Canada to win by a hundred goals, but I also wouldn't shed too many tears if one of the Norwegians up and cross-checked Heatley's damn head right off his traitorous shoulders.

How about by Grebs in a fit of rage after Russia loses the gold medal to Canada?

The ensuing criminal charges may permit us to lose the cap hit plus Heater is decapitated. Win win.

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#14 SportsDad
February 18 2010, 02:11PM
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I found this info on the hockey players: http://www.ctvolympics.ca/athletes/country=SUI/disciplineCode=IH/index.html

I did not see Mr. Riesen, but that may have been cause I was stunned by the hair on Mr. Wick and the fact they all look like angry Cobras.

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#15 DK0
February 18 2010, 02:13PM
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@cambosmash

17 HNAT DOMENICHELLI HC LUGANO 6'0" 190 2/17/1976 EDMONTON, ALB

THERES AN EDMONTONIAN ON THE TEAM?
~Now i don't know who to cheer for...~

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#16 cambosmash
February 18 2010, 02:16PM
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@DK0

Those guys that are from "?" may also be from Edmonton. I'm also torn.

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#17 Petr's Jofa
February 18 2010, 02:21PM
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He's an ex-flame so that should clarify who to cheer for.

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#18 Dyckster
February 18 2010, 02:24PM
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Comments 1 - 16 are messed up. You my friends are the messiest of messed up individuals I've ever had the pleasure of not knowing. May the blogosphere gods bless you all with a lifetime of good ole fashion fun. It brings a tear to my eye just knowing I'm allowed the privilage of reading this most excellent SH#T!

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#20 Vegas Todd
February 18 2010, 02:29PM
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here is the Swiss roster provided by NBC.

http://www.nbcolympics.com/hockey/teams/team=3/index.html

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#21 esa tikkanen
February 18 2010, 02:29PM
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Jonathan

If you see this, would you mind digging up the advanced stats on Josef Vasicek from his NHL seasons? 6'5, 215 lbs. I recall he was a 55% faceoff guy and good on the Pk. I am wondering what were his corsi numbers and was he good on the pk?

If his KHL contract expires this year he could be the third line center the Oilers need. He won the cup with carolina as the third center.

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#23 David S
February 18 2010, 02:41PM
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Looking at that Swiss roster and equating "Swiss" to "AHL", it seems to me they'd stack up pretty close to the 09-10 Oilers.

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#24 Bucknuck
February 18 2010, 02:47PM
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rubbertrout wrote:

How about by Grebs in a fit of rage after Russia loses the gold medal to Canada?

The ensuing criminal charges may permit us to lose the cap hit plus Heater is decapitated. Win win.

except his cap hit is irrelevant since he is an RFA next year.

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#25 The Towel Boy
February 18 2010, 02:48PM
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Look to your right. Look to your left. One of the people next to you may be a Swiss operative. Be on the lookout!

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#26 The Towel Boy
February 18 2010, 02:50PM
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Wanye wrote:

When Canada wins tonight, I hope they dedicate the win to Vegas Todd.

Thank you Sir. I have amended the article with actual data. Gregor is right, Riesen isn't playing.

I will never hear the end of this.

It's OK. It's not about being right or wrong. You stuck to your guns, and that's what really matters.

Just kidding...way to screw this one up screwy McScrewerton!

*laughs heartily*

P.S. Can I borrow 10 bucks?

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#27 JORD10
February 18 2010, 02:53PM
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I use this site for rosters, stats and updates for the Olympic Hockey Tourney.

http://www.iihf.com/channels10/olympics-2010/home.html

Lots of correct info.

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#28 rubbertrout
February 18 2010, 02:58PM
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Bucknuck wrote:

except his cap hit is irrelevant since he is an RFA next year.

RFA's need to be re-signed or traded if there isn't an offer sheet no? He is also getting paid far to much to do far to little this year.

Why do you have to wreck my fun with actual factual information?

*sob

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#29 #Swiss Oil Fan Alex
February 18 2010, 03:41PM
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Excellent post Wayne. I'm a Swiss Oil fan and it was with great interest that I read your article. The Swiss National team plays very well as a group, together - on a good day - they can outwork a big team with their discipline, will and grit. However, the team lacks a pure goal scorer but have a good look at Domenichelli (a Swiss citizien since 2009), Wick, Sprunger or Ruthemann. The Swiss are well known to develop good defenders like Streit, Sbisa and Weber and to a certain degree, also goaltenders (Hiller, Gerber, Aebischer and Stephan as exempales).

Michel Riesen is unfortunately a bad exempale. I remember well the hype when he was drafted by the Oil 1997. Nowadays, he plays medicore hockey in the Swiss Elite league. Many Swiss players dream of playing once in the NHL, but they often return too early becacuse they are unpatient and don't like to play in the minors. Since you can earn good money and enjoy short bus drives in Switzerland, playing there is an attractive option.

Looking forward to an exciting game!

Canada - Switzerland 3 - 4 OT

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#30 HOFFFF
February 18 2010, 03:52PM
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@#Swiss Oil Fan Alex

"Canada - Switzerland 3 - 4 OT"

A little bit of milk came out my nose......

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#31 Petr's Jofa
February 18 2010, 04:12PM
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Of course there's no props for me, that's how I roll. No props at home when I finally brought all the dirty dishes upstairs so mom could wash them.No props at work for not missing one single day for sickness or vacaton in the last 4 years. No props from the basketball team when I did a bang up job of working the score clock back in high school. No props from my girl friends when I stayed up all night listening to all their boy troubles.So of course I don't get props when I help out my internet bffs on OilersNation.

~returns to trackin the ip adress of all the other posters on ON~

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#32 SirFozz
February 18 2010, 04:24PM
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Analysis: Switzerland is a small country. Canada is a big country.

Conclusion: Canada 6-1.

Summary: GOCANADA!!!1!

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#33 Harlie
February 18 2010, 04:56PM
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Shoulder Riding is now an Olympic sport? OK!

* makes syringe plunging into arm motion *

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#34 jeanshorts
February 18 2010, 05:36PM
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Two teams wearing red and white. This shouldn't be hard for drunk people to follow.

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#35 Wanyes bastard child
February 18 2010, 06:16PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Two teams wearing red and white. This shouldn't be hard for drunk people to follow.

whaaaht, Canada has two teams in the Olympics?

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#37 Wanyes bastard child
February 18 2010, 06:40PM
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Ambassador humantorch wrote:

Of course I want Canada to win by a hundred goals, but I also wouldn't shed too many tears if one of the Norwegians up and cross-checked Heatley's damn head right off his traitorous shoulders.

Well you almost got your wish...

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#38 jeanshorts
February 18 2010, 06:52PM
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NO! NOT AGAIN!

*pulls out his tattered, tear covered Kris Draper Team Canada jersey and wipes his face*

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#39 Wanyes bastard child
February 18 2010, 06:54PM
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I blame Pronger on that one, wtf was he doing!?!?

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#40 JackBauer
February 18 2010, 07:35PM
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Where can i find a live box score for this game?

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#41 Jason Gregor
February 18 2010, 07:41PM
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Wanye wrote:

When Canada wins tonight, I hope they dedicate the win to Vegas Todd.

Thank you Sir. I have amended the article with actual data. Gregor is right, Riesen isn't playing.

I will never hear the end of this.

That is right you won't!!! Go back to sucking on those stupid little Riesen candies that you like...

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#42 JB
February 18 2010, 07:57PM
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Did they just say Iginla was hurt?

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#43 GSC
February 18 2010, 08:16PM
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I've said it once, I've said it 46 times:

When in the shootout, screw the deke, shoot the puck.

Sidney Crosby must've gotten the memo.

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#44 GSC
February 18 2010, 08:20PM
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#Swiss Oil Fan Alex wrote:

Excellent post Wayne. I'm a Swiss Oil fan and it was with great interest that I read your article. The Swiss National team plays very well as a group, together - on a good day - they can outwork a big team with their discipline, will and grit. However, the team lacks a pure goal scorer but have a good look at Domenichelli (a Swiss citizien since 2009), Wick, Sprunger or Ruthemann. The Swiss are well known to develop good defenders like Streit, Sbisa and Weber and to a certain degree, also goaltenders (Hiller, Gerber, Aebischer and Stephan as exempales).

Michel Riesen is unfortunately a bad exempale. I remember well the hype when he was drafted by the Oil 1997. Nowadays, he plays medicore hockey in the Swiss Elite league. Many Swiss players dream of playing once in the NHL, but they often return too early becacuse they are unpatient and don't like to play in the minors. Since you can earn good money and enjoy short bus drives in Switzerland, playing there is an attractive option.

Looking forward to an exciting game!

Canada - Switzerland 3 - 4 OT

I can attest to the lure of Switzerland, just an absolutely BEAUTIFUL country. I would give my left nut to play a year of professional hockey there.

I was there during a European tour a few years ago, visited Lucerne and Lugano. I've been dying to return ever since, just stunningly gorgeous scenery and wonderful people.

Great effort from the Swiss tonight, but it was over once it went to the shootout (Canada has an embarrassment of riches there). Poor Hnat Domenichelli, an Edmonton native just missed carving his name into Canadian minds forever.

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#45 rubbertrout
February 18 2010, 08:25PM
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I feel somewhat better. That was more stress than I'd like in a round robin game

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#46 RossCreekNation
February 18 2010, 08:31PM
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HOFFFF wrote:

"Canada - Switzerland 3 - 4 OT"

A little bit of milk came out my nose......

*wonders why milk almost came out of his nose*

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#47 Wanyes bastard child
February 18 2010, 08:32PM
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Can someone smarter than me help (Jason/Robin, not Wanye) I read through the new scoring system they are using this year and im trying to understand them.

So when Canada beats TLP's team on sunday and finish with 8 points, say in the other 3 groups we have three teams with 9 points, since we still finished in the top four we get the bye correct?

We won't have to play the next game in the 24 hours to advance and thus we can move to the next round rested, just wondering if im right on this... thanks.

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#48 RossCreekNation
February 18 2010, 08:38PM
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@Wanyes bastard child

Not positive, but I'd assume (perhaps incorrectly) that the leader of each division gets the bye...

Can someone smarter than me help

Oh... ooops.

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#49 Travis Dakin
February 19 2010, 05:31AM
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@GSC

If you don't mind me asking, did you go through a tour group? If so which one and was it good. I'm planning a big Euro trip next year and I want it all. Thanks.

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#50 BUCK75
February 19 2010, 07:30AM
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RossCreekNation wrote:

Not positive, but I'd assume (perhaps incorrectly) that the leader of each division gets the bye...

Can someone smarter than me help

Oh... ooops.

@Wanyes bastard child

After the prelims, all teams are ranked 1 through 12 using points & many complicated formulas. Top 4 teams get a bye to Quarter Finals. The other 8 teams play for the last 4 spots. Tie Breaks & the tournament format is explained here, http://www.iihf.com/channels10/olympics-2010/home/men/format.html

Step 1: Taking into consideration the games between each of the tied teams, a sub-group is created applying the points awarded in the direct games amongst the tied teams from which the teams are then ranked accordingly.

Step 2: Should the teams still remain tied then the better goal difference in the direct games amongst the tied teams will be decisive.

Step 3: Should the teams still remain tied then the highest number of goals scored by these teams in their direct games will be decisive

Step 4: Should three or more teams still remain tied then the results between each of the three teams and the closest best-ranked team outside the sub-group will be applied. In this case the tied team with the best result (1. points, 2. goal difference, 3. more goals scored) against the closest best ranked-team will take precedence

Step 5: Should the teams still remain tied, then the results between each of the three teams and the next highest best-ranked team outside the sub-group will be applied.

Step 6: Should the teams still remain tied after these five steps have been exercised then Sport considerations will be applied and the tied teams will be ranked following their 2009 IIHF World Ranking Positions.

Losing the point shouldn't be a big deal, assuming we beat the Yanks. If we cannot get the bye, then chances are we would be playing a stronger opponent in the quarter finals than we would have if we had the bye.

The Russians lost as well in the shoot out last night. So in theory, it could be Canada & US advancing in top 4 seeds based on some of the complicated formulas using GF & GA.

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