STOCKHOLM SYNDROME

Wanye
February 02 2010 12:03PM

It’s the damndest thing when the Oil fall so far that they can’t even muster up a win against their old SCF’06 opposition. Will this team ever win again? Will there ever be – er what? (whispers in his ear) They what? THEY WON?!?

*insert shocked silence here*

Well, then. Ahem. We have to gather our wits a moment and think of what to say.

Here, watch the UCLA Jerk Kings celebrate on our behalf while we compose ourselves:

BEST EVER

When it comes to beating the Carolina Hurricanes, we can’t think of a more important game for the Oilers to have won against them in the past 6 years. Yep, you don’t run into the Canes all that often, but if we were making deals with the Gods of Ice Hockey we would totally pick winning a game in Early February 2010 that kept the Oil firmly in 30th place in the league instead of say – Game 7 of the 2006 Stanley Cup finals.

Damn you Oilers – damn you to the eternal fires of hell for your mis-game pickery.

*kicks nearby stone and remembers when THAT happened*

FEAR OF MINOR SUCCESSES

One of our favourite things right now in the Nation is the fear that if the Oilers win a couple games here and there, or make a trade to improve the team, that they might detonate their chances of finishing last and then getting first pick in the draft.

One such comment was made last night in the post game Ghost riding of the whips:

#41 Bandwagon jumper February 02 2010, 09:34AM

"I have a little nagging feeling that this win may start the Oilers on a winning streak that will take them to 24th place in the standings."

Now first and foremost Bandwagon jumper, it would take a .850 winning streak for the remainder of the season and well into December of the 2010-11 season for the Oilers to climb into 24th place.

How dare you even raise our hopes with the possibility of:

a) stringing a few wins together or

b) that we could be witnessing 24th place hockey round these parts.

Shame on you Sir/Madam! Now look, you have gotten everyone all excited and junk.

THIS IS WHAT THAT IS

In all seriousness Nation, what we have here is a case of Stockholm syndrome. We are identifying with our captors and “hostages (the OilersNation in this case) express adulation and have positive feelings towards their captors that appear irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims.” Is that what you want Nation?

Do you want to have irrational feelings towards the Oilers thinking we aren’t deserving of some “not last place hockey” down the stretch? Great Fists of Semenko people! We for one would want to watch some friggin wins thank you very much, risks of the odds of closing the gap to 29th in the league be damned.

We would also like the Oil to make a few deals and maybe take an outside shot at improving this Shitanusly ® Brutal squad so that the next playoff series we witness isn’t sitting in the arena that they will build AFTER this next one Kay-Z is planning. Cheering that the Oilers don’t win. PFFT They will handle the losing for us all. Don’t you even stress if they are able to snag a third win in the past 20 games, it won’t ruin things. They still sit 5 points back of 29th – don’t even trip.

Imagine what would happen if the Oil do finish last and lose the lottery? Oh man, that would be the poison icing on the bitter cake we have all been forced to eat since one that other time the Oil met the Canes.

ON ANOTHER NOTE

In this wonderous spirit of giving that has fallen upon the OilersNation we would like to take a short moment and welcome a new contributor to the Nation Family of Websites and Body Hair Removal Clinics® Down there in Calgary, we have been fortunate enough to trick Pat Steinberg of the Fan 960 into writing for the FlamesNation in addition to his duties as the post game host for the Calgary Flames.

Some of you may have heard Steinberg on Gregor’s show yesterday, remaining positive in spite of the fact that the Flames had just traded a future Norris Trophy winner for a bunch of random junk players and an old Doug Gilmour Leafs Jersey. That’s just how they roll down there in Calgary we guess, tricked into parting with a superstar every 19 years or so. On the plus side they have gotten rid of one of the ugliest Flames in recent memory with the departure of Olli Jokinen so we suppose it wasn’t all bad on the whole.

Going forward you can think of Steinberg as the Jason Gregor of the FlamesNation. Connected up the wazoo, wielding that team access we all want but will never have and with a radio show all of his own where he will be pimpin’ out the FlamesNation 24/7/364.

Cause no one works on Christmas, not even Pat Steinberg.

Welcome aboard Pat – may the Flames never win again.

The End

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#101 Moop
February 02 2010, 06:51PM
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Maybe by "sweeten the pot" he means "take Ethan Moreau out of the pot".

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#102 Wanyes bastard child
February 02 2010, 06:57PM
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David S wrote:

Man, I'm going to miss Joey.

I'd take a trade of Crosby and Malkin plus some pitts ice girls straight up for Joey.

Because Joey is awesome with a capital AWESOME!

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#103 Eric Johnson
February 02 2010, 07:13PM
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Pucks 4 Moreau?

I say we win the deal. Think of all the money the team will save on Goat feed.

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#104 Shawner
February 02 2010, 07:29PM
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if the Oilers don't even want moreau what makes you think any other team wants him?? maybe outside the NHL

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#105 Pajamah
February 02 2010, 07:30PM
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Moop wrote:

Maybe by "sweeten the pot" he means "take Ethan Moreau out of the pot".

Hahahahaha, quote of the week

well played

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#106 Matt Henderson
February 02 2010, 07:57PM
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Did I miss the party?

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#107 Eric Johnson
February 02 2010, 08:05PM
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@Matt Henderson

No cause it's still funny!

...Archaeologdenguy.... thats really fun to say.

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#108 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
February 02 2010, 08:21PM
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Robin Brownlee wrote:

I removed it. I do that a lot . . .

that was my line during my university days.

that and "sorry about that, it happens when i get really excited"

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#109 OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F
February 02 2010, 08:45PM
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Wanyes bastard child wrote:

Looks like someone is $10 poorer :P

So did Brownlee become an Ogden or a Dakin?

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#110 OilFan
February 02 2010, 08:54PM
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Any word on Cogs trade rumor to Montreal Robin ? Also I'm hearing Exebly was traded tp LA for a fourth pick. If the Oilers are looking to trade Souray do you think O'byne from Montreal would be a good pick up ?

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#111 Crash
February 02 2010, 08:56PM
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Matt Henderson wrote:

Did I miss the party?

Looks like we both missed it...just for your info back on that other blog I was actually in your corner not against it...lol

ie; the pot calling the kettle black wasn't directed your way

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#112 RossCreekNation
February 02 2010, 08:59PM
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Good Times: Pronger Positive in Return to Edmonton...

http://www.csnphilly.com/pages/landing_09?Good-Times-Pronger-Positive-in-Return-to=1&blockID=173961&feedID=704

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#113 Giggsunited
February 02 2010, 08:59PM
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OilFan wrote:

Any word on Cogs trade rumor to Montreal Robin ? Also I'm hearing Exebly was traded tp LA for a fourth pick. If the Oilers are looking to trade Souray do you think O'byne from Montreal would be a good pick up ?

hahaha, no Eklund rumours allowed here, sorry!

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#114 Shawner
February 02 2010, 09:06PM
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Hey Robin, I noticed that Nick boynton was placed on waivers by ana, would the OIl have room or interest in him????

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#115 Robin Brownlee
February 02 2010, 09:07PM
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OilFan wrote:

Any word on Cogs trade rumor to Montreal Robin ? Also I'm hearing Exebly was traded tp LA for a fourth pick. If the Oilers are looking to trade Souray do you think O'byne from Montreal would be a good pick up ?

The Leafs are looking to move Exelby and they're talking to the Oilers (item to come) about Moreau, as well as to other teams. Cogliano to Montreal? Haven't heard that from anybody with credibility.

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#116 Shawner
February 02 2010, 09:15PM
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Hey Robin, I noticed that Nick boynton was placed on waivers by ana, would the OIl have room or interest in him????

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#117 Wanyes bastard child
February 02 2010, 09:18PM
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OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F wrote:

So did Brownlee become an Ogden or a Dakin?

None of the above.

You had to have seen it dude, it was one of those ' beer coming out your nose so violently that you would say "fck the $10 to Robin, I need to purchase me a new laptop now" ' kind of moments.

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#118 Heavyd
February 02 2010, 09:23PM
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@Shawner

You are a day late.

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#119 Shawner
February 02 2010, 09:29PM
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@Heavyd

i know that/ Just curious thats all/ he can be much worse than the Junk we have outside of # 5 and # 71.

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#120 OilFan
February 02 2010, 09:30PM
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Thanks Robin

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#121 Heavyd
February 02 2010, 09:31PM
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@Shawner

Okay, he already cleared waivers.

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#122 Shawner
February 02 2010, 09:33PM
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Heavyd wrote:

Okay, he already cleared waivers.

thanks.

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#123 OilFan
February 02 2010, 09:39PM
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@ Giggsunited

I'm not sure who this Eklund guy is haven't seen him post on the nation. Not trying to start rumors just asking Robin since my friends out east are asking.

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#124 Moop
February 02 2010, 09:59PM
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OilFan wrote:

@ Giggsunited

I'm not sure who this Eklund guy is haven't seen him post on the nation. Not trying to start rumors just asking Robin since my friends out east are asking.

Eklund is a magical tree gnome who eats Alphaghetti until he vomits onto a table. Once this has been accomplished, he interprets the freshly-spewed letters into fictional hockey trades that are "rumoured to be in the works". For example, if a cluster of vomitted letters included "M E W O T ", he would interpret this as "Moreau from Edmonton will be traded to Washington for Ovechkin and a third rounder". He will then attach an "e" rating on to the end of the rumour (e.g. "(e3)", "(e5)") to signify how many cans of Alphaghetti he ate before vomitting out the letters that formed the basis of this rumour.

Either that, or he's a guy who makes up hockey trade rumours, charges people to look at them online, and looks a little like a lame version of Indiana Jones. I believe someone conducted a study that determined that a random generator was more likely to get a trade right than Eklund, or something along those lines.

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#125 OilFan
February 02 2010, 10:05PM
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@Moop

so he isn't part of the nation then. Ok. Thanks

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#126 Moop
February 02 2010, 10:08PM
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OilFan wrote:

@Moop

so he isn't part of the nation then. Ok. Thanks

That is correct :)

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#127 OILER86
February 02 2010, 10:13PM
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I know Tambo is in charge and all but it still just sounds crazy to hear the Oilers and Toronto talking considering Burke's history with KLowe. Regardless if we can make a deal I dont care at this point. Interesting to hear Moreau to T.O. talk. I had only heard the California teams mentioned prior to tonight.

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#128 OilFan
February 02 2010, 10:20PM
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The Oilers site has a fan forum, has anyone been on it ? I tryed to read some posts found it hard to get around.

Moreau anywhere would be the best trade of the year. Tambo is my goat so I don't think he can pull it off

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#129 Matt Henderson
February 02 2010, 10:26PM
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@Crash

Thanks, I guess I misinterpreted what you wrote :P

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#130 Aleslav Smidsky
February 02 2010, 11:11PM
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@OILER86

Then consider Burke history with Tambo.

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