GDB LXVIII: THE TOILET BOWL

Jason Gregor
March 13 2010 01:24PM

Does it get any bigger than this for Oiler fans today? Does it? Can it? Okay, it is impossible to really sell this as a big game, but when a team is in 30th place the only big games are against the team in 29th. And that’s what you will see tonight when you watch it at home or come down to The Pint for the OilersNation party tonight.

The Oilers have a seven-point lead in the race for 30th, which would guarantee them the first or second pick this summer in the NHL entry draft. The Oilers can still easily afford to win this game and still finish last, but many of you will be secretly hoping for a loss to make sure that nothing messes up the plan for first pick overall.

The way this season has unfolded a win tonight might kick-start the Oilers into a two or three game winning streak, and no sensible Oiler fan wants that.

But increasing the tension this evening is the dilemma between cheering for a loss to increase the odds of picking first, versus the basic instinct of every non-Leaf fan in Canada: destroy the Leafs. You see, the Leafs are easily the most annoying fans in the league making their team one of the most fun to beat. The Leafs fan is in a neck and neck battle with their most annoying fan co-runner: the Flames fan.

Leaf fan constantly reminds you that he is the most loyal fan, because despite a 42-year Stanley Cup drought he still wears his jersey proudly. I guess standing by a loser for 42 years is some sort badge of honour. I’d burn that badge if I was in their shoes.

Flames fan is just annoying. She uses weak-ass lines like, “it must hurt to see an Edmonton boy dominate in a Flames jersey,” or “At least our team makes the playoffs”. While both are factual, it shows the shallow depth of their wittiness. Tonight is one of those games that as an Oiler fan I’d think you want to win.

So what if you move within five points of 29th. Do you honestly think this edition of the Oilers is capable of winning three or four straight? Seriously, do you? In a season like this I’m assuming you need to grasp on to any glimmer of enjoyment that you can. The Oilers have already been swept by the Flames this year.

You’d think beating the Leafs twice might lessen the pain just a bit. As my buddy Scott said, “I freakin hate the Leafs. I hate their annoying fans, and how Grapes continually cups their balls. I know we need to finish 30th, but for one night I will go back to cheering for a win. Plus now they have the piece of s**t Phaneuf, so beating his ass would make it even better.”

In case anyone on Earth hasn't already noticed, the Oilers aren’t that good, so I wouldn’t worry that a win tonight would derail their route to 30th place. For one night Oiler fans can cheer for a win again and feel good about it.

PISANI OUT, MOREAU IN

The injury carousel continues to roll through the dressing room. Fernando Pisani will sit out tonight with a sore groin, so Ethan Moreau will draw in for him. Ryan Whitney has swelling in his knee, but the Oilers haven’t recalled anyone, so he will dress tonight. It will be interesting to see how much he plays. Jeff Deslauriers draws back in.

Wanye has already gone out on the shakiest limb, guaranteeing a win tonight against the Leafs. We'll see if he can continue his unsolicited betting advice success streak tonight.

Should be good. See you at the Pint.

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One of Canada's most versatile sports personalities. Jason hosts The Jason Gregor Show, weekdays from 2 to 6 p.m., on TSN 1260, and he writes a column every Monday in the Edmonton Journal. You can follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/JasonGregor
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#101 Matt Henderson
March 13 2010, 07:47PM
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This Leafs PP looks good*

*Finds out it's an Oiler 5 on 3

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#102 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 07:49PM
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Well, at least it wasn't a blow out.

Congratulations Leafs. You barely held on to beat the worst team in the league.

Ugh, I wish this didn't suck so much.

Oh well. Hall/Seguin here we come!

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#103 Gerald R. Ford
March 13 2010, 07:50PM
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Good thing Moreau stepped up for the DFF again tonight. That was close. But, that's why he wears the 'C'.

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#104 Dave
March 13 2010, 07:53PM
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There's always a magic number of points/wins for teams in playoff contention. I'd like to know what the magic number of oilers losses/leafs wins before Edmonton clinches last place.

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#105 Jamie B.
March 13 2010, 07:53PM
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30th place ftw!

This will all feel better when we watch Boston make the Leafs' pick, right? ... Right? Sigh.

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#106 Red Deerian Convert
March 13 2010, 07:55PM
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No doubt. Moreau doesn't even seem like he wants to be playing anymore. I understand that we have our hardcore suck knob turned all the way up but I really don't like his attitude.

Wow we suck. I was at least hoping for one for decent game.

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#107 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 08:02PM
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Seriously, even the staunchest Moreau supporter (is there such a thing?) can't defend him in any way, shape or form anymore. He's a waste of space. Can anyone remember the last time he did anything even remotely positive for the team?

I hate being one of those guys who craps on him, but seriously enough is enough. I know we're trying to lose, and he's doing a tremendous job helping out, but just looking at him makes me angry now, and I don't like that.

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#108 Gerald R. Ford
March 13 2010, 08:41PM
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Dave wrote:

There's always a magic number of points/wins for teams in playoff contention. I'd like to know what the magic number of oilers losses/leafs wins before Edmonton clinches last place.

Any combination of points gained by the Leafs, and lost by the Oilers, equalling 20 gives us 30th place. That is, if the Leafs went 5-0 over their next five games, and the Oil went 0-5, (10+10 points), then it's over (Leafs would have 68 points to the Oilers 49, with 9 games remaining, and a maximum of 18 points possible). If the Oilers win one of their next five, then the Leafs would need a minimum of 6 more games after tonight to clinch 29th (12+8 points). And so on. That's with a nine point lead, 14 games to play for both teams, and no loser points to complicate things. Something like that. I could be wrong.

*Famous World Leader, not Rocket Scientist*

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#109 Garett
March 13 2010, 09:18PM
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Eberle gets his 50th Gino tonight! Way to go kid, to bad you Pats are PAThetic!

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#110 Red Deerian Convert
March 13 2010, 09:28PM
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Ya hopefully eberle is ready for another s#*t show that is the springfield falcons.

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#111 David S
March 13 2010, 09:38PM
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Speaking of the toilet bowl, this game was a two-flusher.

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#112 Librarian Mike
March 13 2010, 10:05PM
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David S wrote:

Speaking of the toilet bowl, this game was a two-flusher.

Courtesy of the Edmonton Coilers...

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#113 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
March 13 2010, 10:09PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Seriously, even the staunchest Moreau supporter (is there such a thing?) can't defend him in any way, shape or form anymore. He's a waste of space. Can anyone remember the last time he did anything even remotely positive for the team?

I hate being one of those guys who craps on him, but seriously enough is enough. I know we're trying to lose, and he's doing a tremendous job helping out, but just looking at him makes me angry now, and I don't like that.

you are looking at things the wrong way.

i am 110% in support of moreau and his play this year. curious why? i will tell you.

fact is, if moreau isnt a borderline ECHL captain for this team of suck tits, the DFF would not be this close to its epic conclusion. I, and others, have been calling for the DFF long before the cool kids were doing it. That Moreau has taken the DFF to heart, and is clearly doing what he can to help, should be commended at every opportunity.

honestly...

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#114 Jodes
March 13 2010, 10:37PM
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Librarian Mike wrote:

Courtesy of the Edmonton Coilers...

Welcome to Toilet Country indeed.

Stinking out the joint since 2007..

Whats the point of being angry? Just numb to the pain and move on..

Because face it folks, as long as Kevin Lowe is in charge of this farce, we'll continue to stink.

Thanks again Kevin.

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#115 Pajamah
March 13 2010, 11:20PM
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Anyone attending the Internet party sober enough to comment on the ordeal

I would have went, but you know, I'm one of those sad losers who prefers to be semi-anonymous, and feels much more comfortable attempting witty comments while currently huddled next to my furnace.

And no, that isn't a shot at the majority of posters here, as I actually commend those who went, it's always tough meeting Internet people (read: ghosts) in real life.

That is how I met my horrible, horrible wife

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#116 rubbertrout
March 13 2010, 11:32PM
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Pajamah wrote:

Anyone attending the Internet party sober enough to comment on the ordeal

I would have went, but you know, I'm one of those sad losers who prefers to be semi-anonymous, and feels much more comfortable attempting witty comments while currently huddled next to my furnace.

And no, that isn't a shot at the majority of posters here, as I actually commend those who went, it's always tough meeting Internet people (read: ghosts) in real life.

That is how I met my horrible, horrible wife

No wonder you're trying to keep anonymous. Calling your wife "horrible" is not the best thing to publicize.

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#117 Pajamah
March 13 2010, 11:44PM
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rubbertrout wrote:

No wonder you're trying to keep anonymous. Calling your wife "horrible" is not the best thing to publicize.

She doesn't read this stuff

she could care less about hockey and the Oilers, which makes it weird, seeing as I'm a degenerate hockey loser.

That and, I'm not in one of those modern marriages, where I can't tell my wife that she's being an idiot in fear of whatever it is that makes some women today as beligerant to their husbands as they are (provided she is actually being an idiot at the time, I'm not a complete prick)

And lastly, it was mostly a joke. Mostly.

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#118 Travis Dakin
March 14 2010, 01:02AM
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Welp I know A LOT of people that should be ashamed of themselves tonight for not joining us at the nation party (I'm only thinking about David S. Right now). Wanye and bingofuel and Gregor are the sexiest people I've ever met hahaha

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#119 Pajamah
March 14 2010, 07:57AM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

Welp I know A LOT of people that should be ashamed of themselves tonight for not joining us at the nation party (I'm only thinking about David S. Right now). Wanye and bingofuel and Gregor are the sexiest people I've ever met hahaha

Did you rub Gregors head for luck?

Is Wanye actually Lil'Wayne?

So many questions!!

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#120 Matt Henderson
March 14 2010, 10:34AM
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@Travis Dakin

One day video game testing will pay enough for me to afford the luxury of going out for some drinks, but that time is not now.

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#121 RossCreekNation
March 14 2010, 02:45PM
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Pajamah wrote:

Anyone attending the Internet party sober enough to comment on the ordeal

I would have went, but you know, I'm one of those sad losers who prefers to be semi-anonymous, and feels much more comfortable attempting witty comments while currently huddled next to my furnace.

And no, that isn't a shot at the majority of posters here, as I actually commend those who went, it's always tough meeting Internet people (read: ghosts) in real life.

That is how I met my horrible, horrible wife

LOLZ... oh, and props...

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#122 Jodes
March 14 2010, 07:32PM
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Any idea when the next Oiler Nation party at the Pint will be?

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#123 David S
March 14 2010, 11:36PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

Welp I know A LOT of people that should be ashamed of themselves tonight for not joining us at the nation party (I'm only thinking about David S. Right now). Wanye and bingofuel and Gregor are the sexiest people I've ever met hahaha

Yeah yeah. OK, so I did indeed feel ashamed for missing the party. I think I felt that way for about .0612 seconds. But for an android, that's almost an eternity.

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