GDB LXVIII: THE TOILET BOWL

Jason Gregor
March 13 2010 01:24PM

Does it get any bigger than this for Oiler fans today? Does it? Can it? Okay, it is impossible to really sell this as a big game, but when a team is in 30th place the only big games are against the team in 29th. And that’s what you will see tonight when you watch it at home or come down to The Pint for the OilersNation party tonight.

The Oilers have a seven-point lead in the race for 30th, which would guarantee them the first or second pick this summer in the NHL entry draft. The Oilers can still easily afford to win this game and still finish last, but many of you will be secretly hoping for a loss to make sure that nothing messes up the plan for first pick overall.

The way this season has unfolded a win tonight might kick-start the Oilers into a two or three game winning streak, and no sensible Oiler fan wants that.

But increasing the tension this evening is the dilemma between cheering for a loss to increase the odds of picking first, versus the basic instinct of every non-Leaf fan in Canada: destroy the Leafs. You see, the Leafs are easily the most annoying fans in the league making their team one of the most fun to beat. The Leafs fan is in a neck and neck battle with their most annoying fan co-runner: the Flames fan.

Leaf fan constantly reminds you that he is the most loyal fan, because despite a 42-year Stanley Cup drought he still wears his jersey proudly. I guess standing by a loser for 42 years is some sort badge of honour. I’d burn that badge if I was in their shoes.

Flames fan is just annoying. She uses weak-ass lines like, “it must hurt to see an Edmonton boy dominate in a Flames jersey,” or “At least our team makes the playoffs”. While both are factual, it shows the shallow depth of their wittiness. Tonight is one of those games that as an Oiler fan I’d think you want to win.

So what if you move within five points of 29th. Do you honestly think this edition of the Oilers is capable of winning three or four straight? Seriously, do you? In a season like this I’m assuming you need to grasp on to any glimmer of enjoyment that you can. The Oilers have already been swept by the Flames this year.

You’d think beating the Leafs twice might lessen the pain just a bit. As my buddy Scott said, “I freakin hate the Leafs. I hate their annoying fans, and how Grapes continually cups their balls. I know we need to finish 30th, but for one night I will go back to cheering for a win. Plus now they have the piece of s**t Phaneuf, so beating his ass would make it even better.”

In case anyone on Earth hasn't already noticed, the Oilers aren’t that good, so I wouldn’t worry that a win tonight would derail their route to 30th place. For one night Oiler fans can cheer for a win again and feel good about it.

PISANI OUT, MOREAU IN

The injury carousel continues to roll through the dressing room. Fernando Pisani will sit out tonight with a sore groin, so Ethan Moreau will draw in for him. Ryan Whitney has swelling in his knee, but the Oilers haven’t recalled anyone, so he will dress tonight. It will be interesting to see how much he plays. Jeff Deslauriers draws back in.

Wanye has already gone out on the shakiest limb, guaranteeing a win tonight against the Leafs. We'll see if he can continue his unsolicited betting advice success streak tonight.

Should be good. See you at the Pint.

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One of Canada's most versatile sports personalities. Jason hosts The Jason Gregor Show, weekdays from 2 to 6 p.m., on TSN 1260, and he writes a column every Monday in the Edmonton Journal. You can follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/JasonGregor
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#51 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 06:12PM
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Holy shot Cogliano! Get that boy some line mates!

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#52 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 06:17PM
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Weak.

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#53 Wanyes bastard child
March 13 2010, 06:18PM
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Johnson is really showing tonight why he was the shames 7th D-man.

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#54 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 06:18PM
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Strudwick is SOOOOOOO slow

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#55 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 06:19PM
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Jesus. Absolutely horrendous reffing tonight. They really want the Leafs to bust this PP slump.

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#56 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 06:21PM
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Kessel vs Strudwick. Who called it? Oh yeah, this guy.

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#57 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 06:22PM
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Comical.

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#58 Wanyes bastard child
March 13 2010, 06:22PM
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Man... betcha everyone is drunk at the pint right now, this is just horrible to watch.

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#59 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 06:24PM
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I wonder if Wanye's crumpled into a ball of tears right now, or if he's going to save that for after the game.

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#60 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 06:25PM
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Deslaurier fights Phaneuf!!!

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#61 Wanyes bastard child
March 13 2010, 06:26PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

I wonder if Wanye's crumpled into a ball of tears right now, or if he's going to save that for after the game.

He saves that for after having sex with a lady.

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#62 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 06:27PM
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I've seen this 102.3 commercial a total of 3 times now and I officially hate it more than anything ever.

Seriously, how is Summer Of 69 a "now" song?

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#63 Gerald R. Ford
March 13 2010, 06:28PM
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Archaeologuy wrote:

Deslaurier fights Phaneuf!!!

I think he just wanted to make contact with something.

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#64 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 06:32PM
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Frack. This is a win/win game regardless; If we lose we pretty much cement the number 1 pick. If we win we get to rub it in Leaf fans faces. But man this is really unfun to watch.

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#65 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 06:34PM
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This Leafs powerplay looks really good*

*Finds out the teams were even strength**

**Sad Panda

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#66 Rip Torn
March 13 2010, 06:36PM
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Oh man, this is worse than... 1. South Park Cows vs Detroit Red Wings 2. Monty python Rugby game 3. Nelson Munz vs Bart Simpson at the flagpole

But I have faith (IM OK! - IM OK! - IM OK!)

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#67 Gerald R. Ford
March 13 2010, 06:39PM
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Every time I get excited about draft day, I remember that our goaltending still consists of two human sieves and a drunken, half-crippled senior citizen with poor judgement.

*sad Presidential panda*

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#68 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 06:40PM
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Archaeologuy wrote:

This Leafs powerplay looks really good*

*Finds out the teams were even strength**

**Sad Panda

Cue the slumpbusters. Leafs come into this game 0-30 on the PP. Score 2 against us tonight. WHO SAW THAT COMING???®

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#69 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 06:43PM
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That breakaway was Oilertastic

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#70 Gerald R. Ford
March 13 2010, 06:43PM
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2010 highlight reel for sure!

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#71 Rip Torn
March 13 2010, 06:44PM
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Brule? Brule? Brule?

He Shoo....

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#72 Wanyes bastard child
March 13 2010, 06:46PM
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On a plus note, that chick behind Ron Wilson is purty hot.

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#73 Rip Torn
March 13 2010, 06:48PM
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That wasn't Brule,

It was Chevy Chase

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#74 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 06:50PM
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@Gerald R. Ford

That's going to be the best video ever.

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#75 sizzler
March 13 2010, 06:53PM
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we suck

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#76 Wanyes bastard child
March 13 2010, 07:04PM
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Ok, so if your the Pittsburgh coach when you play Boston again, do you play Matt Cooke or staple him to the bench?

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#77 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 07:05PM
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@Wanyes bastard child

I'd be more worried about Crosby. Did you see the fear in his eyes during the clip on Coaches Corner? That was amazing!

I hope something really, really bad happens to Matt Cooke.

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#78 Red Deerian Convert
March 13 2010, 07:06PM
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Bench. Lucic would destroy him. (Lucic is awesome)

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#79 Wanyes bastard child
March 13 2010, 07:08PM
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@jeanshorts

Yeah I did see Crosby's eyes, that's what made me think of it. Personally I think that Cooke will be playing anyways but it will be an interesting game.

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#80 Jamie B.
March 13 2010, 07:09PM
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Sooo ... how's Eberle doing in his last junior game?

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#81 Gerald R. Ford
March 13 2010, 07:11PM
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Peckham! Nice!!

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#82 Wanyes bastard child
March 13 2010, 07:11PM
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Good on Peckam!

I think i spelled his name wrong...

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#83 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 07:13PM
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Liking Peckham more and more every game. Gator V.2 soon please!

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#84 Wanyes bastard child
March 13 2010, 07:13PM
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Round 2, Peckham and Phaneuf as they step out of the box?

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#85 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 07:14PM
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At least one Oiler has the guts to stand up for his teammates.

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#86 Gerald R. Ford
March 13 2010, 07:15PM
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@jeanshorts

Probably too much to ask, but it's an awesome dream. I'd love to see it.

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#87 Wanyes bastard child
March 13 2010, 07:21PM
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@Wanyes bastard child

YEAH!

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#88 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 07:21PM
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Nice deflection! Now stop.

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#89 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 07:22PM
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@Gerald R. Ford

At the very least, hopefully he becomes a serviceable stay at home defenseman, so, you know, poor Steve Tambellini doesn't have to worry about not signing one next season.

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#90 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 07:23PM
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@jeanshorts

I think he can at least take Strudwick's spot for next season

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#91 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 07:23PM
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Phaneuf on the ice for all 3 Oiler goals. If anything that makes this easier to swallow.

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#92 Gerald R. Ford
March 13 2010, 07:30PM
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@jeanshorts

-3 and a classic turtle job. Constant as the northern star.

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#93 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 07:31PM
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Im sorry, did I just see a 3 on 0?

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#94 Gerald R. Ford
March 13 2010, 07:33PM
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Ahahahaha... First Brule spazzes out on a clear-cut breakaway, and then the Leafs hit a post on a three-on-oh.

Best. Game. Ever

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#95 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 07:33PM
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Archaeologuy wrote:

Im sorry, did I just see a 3 on 0?

We are watching the Allen Cup right?

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#96 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 07:37PM
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WHAT? Thecaptainethanmoreau took a bad penalty late in the game?

I never ever could have predicted this!

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#97 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 07:37PM
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Well, at least we know Moreau is feeling like his old self again.

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#98 Rip Torn
March 13 2010, 07:37PM
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#18 penalty to make a 5 on 3

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#99 Rip Torn
March 13 2010, 07:38PM
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JFC Kessel is a force

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#100 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 07:40PM
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Eberle at the worlds before ever playing an NHL game?

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