GDB LXVIII: THE TOILET BOWL

Jason Gregor
March 13 2010 01:24PM

Does it get any bigger than this for Oiler fans today? Does it? Can it? Okay, it is impossible to really sell this as a big game, but when a team is in 30th place the only big games are against the team in 29th. And that’s what you will see tonight when you watch it at home or come down to The Pint for the OilersNation party tonight.

The Oilers have a seven-point lead in the race for 30th, which would guarantee them the first or second pick this summer in the NHL entry draft. The Oilers can still easily afford to win this game and still finish last, but many of you will be secretly hoping for a loss to make sure that nothing messes up the plan for first pick overall.

The way this season has unfolded a win tonight might kick-start the Oilers into a two or three game winning streak, and no sensible Oiler fan wants that.

But increasing the tension this evening is the dilemma between cheering for a loss to increase the odds of picking first, versus the basic instinct of every non-Leaf fan in Canada: destroy the Leafs. You see, the Leafs are easily the most annoying fans in the league making their team one of the most fun to beat. The Leafs fan is in a neck and neck battle with their most annoying fan co-runner: the Flames fan.

Leaf fan constantly reminds you that he is the most loyal fan, because despite a 42-year Stanley Cup drought he still wears his jersey proudly. I guess standing by a loser for 42 years is some sort badge of honour. I’d burn that badge if I was in their shoes.

Flames fan is just annoying. She uses weak-ass lines like, “it must hurt to see an Edmonton boy dominate in a Flames jersey,” or “At least our team makes the playoffs”. While both are factual, it shows the shallow depth of their wittiness. Tonight is one of those games that as an Oiler fan I’d think you want to win.

So what if you move within five points of 29th. Do you honestly think this edition of the Oilers is capable of winning three or four straight? Seriously, do you? In a season like this I’m assuming you need to grasp on to any glimmer of enjoyment that you can. The Oilers have already been swept by the Flames this year.

You’d think beating the Leafs twice might lessen the pain just a bit. As my buddy Scott said, “I freakin hate the Leafs. I hate their annoying fans, and how Grapes continually cups their balls. I know we need to finish 30th, but for one night I will go back to cheering for a win. Plus now they have the piece of s**t Phaneuf, so beating his ass would make it even better.”

In case anyone on Earth hasn't already noticed, the Oilers aren’t that good, so I wouldn’t worry that a win tonight would derail their route to 30th place. For one night Oiler fans can cheer for a win again and feel good about it.

PISANI OUT, MOREAU IN

The injury carousel continues to roll through the dressing room. Fernando Pisani will sit out tonight with a sore groin, so Ethan Moreau will draw in for him. Ryan Whitney has swelling in his knee, but the Oilers haven’t recalled anyone, so he will dress tonight. It will be interesting to see how much he plays. Jeff Deslauriers draws back in.

Wanye has already gone out on the shakiest limb, guaranteeing a win tonight against the Leafs. We'll see if he can continue his unsolicited betting advice success streak tonight.

Should be good. See you at the Pint.

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One of Canada's most versatile sports personalities. Jason hosts The Jason Gregor Show, weekdays from 2 to 6 p.m., on TSN 1260, and he writes a column every Monday in the Edmonton Journal. You can follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/JasonGregor
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#1 Milli
March 13 2010, 01:30PM
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Wish I could make it to the drunkfest, but I just got home from Vegas!!! They have the mighty OILERS as a 200 - 1 to win the cup....any takers?

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#2 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
March 13 2010, 01:32PM
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Okay, so here I am betting for Chicago to beat Philly tonight under 5.5, and who scores the GWG with 3 seconds left to destroy my ticket?

None other than CFP.

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#3 Tha Legion
March 13 2010, 01:39PM
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sad I can't make it out to the pint due to lack of queen victoria's. Next time gadget.. Next time

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#4 Jamie B.
March 13 2010, 01:40PM
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Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things wrote:

Okay, so here I am betting for Chicago to beat Philly tonight under 5.5, and who scores the GWG with 3 seconds left to destroy my ticket?

None other than CFP.

That was a brutal play by Chicago. Troy Brower, what are you thinking?!

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#5 Racki
March 13 2010, 01:41PM
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I would come away satisfied with the Oilers losing, and Phaneuf getting his ass kicked royal by Moreau again.

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#6 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
March 13 2010, 01:48PM
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Jamie B. wrote:

That was a brutal play by Chicago. Troy Brower, what are you thinking?!

It just adds to my hatred. If that's the only thing I don't hit on this ticket I'm going to be pissed. $300 payout.

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#7 Travis Dakin
March 13 2010, 01:59PM
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*sits down at a booth at the Pint and realizes there are no friends around*

Welp.... Time to order a friend. Sweet sweet nectar.

*touches first beer of the day to his lips*

it's going to be a good day. Cheers.

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#8 jake
March 13 2010, 02:11PM
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Leafs 42 years and counting.... Oilers 20 years and counting.....

-which one of the two will be the first win the last game in the month of June next?

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#9 Winterhawke
March 13 2010, 02:16PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

*sits down at a booth at the Pint and realizes there are no friends around*

Welp.... Time to order a friend. Sweet sweet nectar.

*touches first beer of the day to his lips*

it's going to be a good day. Cheers.

Wow; you are dedicated. To beer or the Oil, I'm not sure but either is all good. Save me a seat, Travis buddy. I'll be along in a bit.

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#10 Nate Full of Hate
March 13 2010, 02:16PM
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If Edmonton has to win tonight at least do it in OT or the shootout...

And hope for the same for the Leafs/NYI Sunday.

War the Denver Nuggets

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#11 The Real Scuba Steve
March 13 2010, 02:54PM
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Does anybody know how the season tickets renewal went? Does it look like attendance might be down?, I have a bet going.

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#12 Boundz
March 13 2010, 03:19PM
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JG - Here here: "You see, the Leafs are easily the most annoying fans in the league making their team one of the most fun to beat. The Leafs fan is in a neck and neck battle with their most annoying fan co-runner: the Flames fan."

I hate the leafs and their idiot fans with a passion. Unfortunately, I'm an Sherwood Park transplant that lives in the big smoke, so I have leaf fans in my face all the time.

That said, there is nothing better than going to the ACC and cheer and scream when the Oil score with all the other Oil fans in the stands while the leaf fans stare and curse at you. I've even had beer thrown at me - good fun.

Here's to an Oilers win, but in OT. Top pick still is king.

B

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#13 quicksilver ballet
March 13 2010, 03:28PM
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The Real Scuba Steve wrote:

Does anybody know how the season tickets renewal went? Does it look like attendance might be down?, I have a bet going.

The HMS Oiler is taking on plenty of water these days but below the smooth waters surface you'll find Oilers marketing/ticketsales staff bailing buckets like madmen looking for new blood/season ticket holders. They'll never admit their struggles but you know they'll be having a tough go this summer.

If you all have any extra Chapmans ice cream pails please drop them by the Oilers Admin offices on Kingsway, this much is appreciated.

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#14 Travis Dakin
March 13 2010, 03:32PM
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Uh oh .... This beer is going down way too good. Come party with me and buck75!!!

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#15 Librarian Mike
March 13 2010, 04:09PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

Uh oh .... This beer is going down way too good. Come party with me and buck75!!!

Have you seriously been there since 2:00. *kicks ground and throws air punches out of sheer jealousy*

See y'all around 6:30...wheee!

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#16 Travis Dakin
March 13 2010, 04:33PM
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Yeah man me and buck75 have been here since 2

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#17 Wanye
March 13 2010, 04:40PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

Yeah man me and buck75 have been here since 2

SWEET GODS OF ROCK

I'm almost there*

*That's what she said

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#18 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 05:06PM
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They're playing Gustafson, it's like they're daring us to try and win.

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#19 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 05:07PM
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@Archaeologuy

Too bad they ditched that other guy who was even better at not stopping pucks.

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#20 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 05:11PM
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When did Cassie Campbell hyphenate her last name? I didnt like her before, and now she expects me to remember her fake last name? A little presumptous, Cassie.

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#21 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 05:11PM
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@jeanshorts

But we evened it up by dressing thecaptainethanmoreau

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#22 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 05:15PM
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Man, the one half of the two man ladies bobsled gold medal team is SO DAMN HOT! Get her in some kind of racy mens magazine!

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#23 Wanyes bastard child
March 13 2010, 05:17PM
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Well at least im not the only loser sitting at home watching the game and not at the pint...

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#24 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 05:18PM
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Wanyes bastard child wrote:

Well at least im not the only loser sitting at home watching the game and not at the pint...

It's a long ass drive for me. Free beers and my couch is a decent substitute*

*not really.

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#25 Wanyes bastard child
March 13 2010, 05:23PM
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@jeanshorts

I couldn't justify the $100 cab ride home, plus i'd probably end up crashing with Travis drunkenly in his hotel room... and that would just be awkward.

Thats right, two grown men drunk and watching midget porn at 2 in the morning awkward.

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#26 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 05:24PM
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Strudwick vs Kessel.

It made me laugh.

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#27 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 05:27PM
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Man Tom Gilbert looked absolutely horrendous on that shift. No more of that please, until next game.

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#28 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 05:29PM
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Oh, I'm glad I missed that tribute to Pat Quinn in favor of a Sports Select commercial

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#29 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 05:33PM
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Aaron Johnson on the Power play!

*lets out a nervous, uncomfortable laugh*

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#30 Wanyes bastard child
March 13 2010, 05:33PM
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Am I the only one wondering why Penner gets like no PP time anymore?

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#31 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 05:34PM
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Why shoot when you can make a drop pass in the slot?

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#32 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
March 13 2010, 05:36PM
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Uh, what the hell?

All I'm seeing on CBC is the Bruins/Habs game.

What's the story?

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#33 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 05:38PM
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@Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things

Where do you live?

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#34 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
March 13 2010, 05:39PM
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@Archaeologuy

Winnipeg. I see that the Oilers game is on CBC Ottawa and CBC Toronto, but I don't get either of those channels because they're timeshift.

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#35 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 05:40PM
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@Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things

pretty sure this game is only in Alberta and Ontario. I guess they assumed that no one in their right mind would WANT to watch the Oilers vs Leafs otherwise.

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#36 Wanyes bastard child
March 13 2010, 05:42PM
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Hell I don't even get the game on CTV Edmonton, thats gotta tell you something...

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#37 rubbertrout
March 13 2010, 05:42PM
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Wanye wrote:

SWEET GODS OF ROCK

I'm almost there*

*That's what she said

She didn't say that Wanye. ADMIT IT!

She said "That's it? GIve me my $50."*

*I'm assuming it was a cheap one

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#38 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
March 13 2010, 05:42PM
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Archaeologuy wrote:

pretty sure this game is only in Alberta and Ontario. I guess they assumed that no one in their right mind would WANT to watch the Oilers vs Leafs otherwise.

I'd actually rather watch the Oil play the Leafs than watch the we-can-barely-beat-the-Oilers-with-Dubnyk-in-net Habs play the Savard-less Bruins.

Looks like I'll be eating my Hooters wings and drinking my Rickards Honey Brown (which they sell outside of the tasters pack now) while watching Will and Grace with my girlfriend.

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#39 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 05:44PM
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Peckham looks confused just standing there in front of his net.

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#40 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 05:45PM
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You guys really need to get better at stealing things off the internet.

For those unfortunate souls outside of the region, or who don't have magic satellite boxes

http://atdhe.net/14940/watch-edmonton-oilers-vs-toronto-maple-leafs

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#41 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
March 13 2010, 05:47PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

You guys really need to get better at stealing things off the internet.

For those unfortunate souls outside of the region, or who don't have magic satellite boxes

http://atdhe.net/14940/watch-edmonton-oilers-vs-toronto-maple-leafs

Ah, jeanshorts. You never steer me wrong.

That's good for a beer on my tab next time I swing by Edmonton.

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#42 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 05:52PM
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I know the losses are better for the overall cause, but man this one will sting for a couple minutes after, and then I'll stop caring again.

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#43 The Real Scuba Steve
March 13 2010, 05:56PM
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Man, even the Leafs are kicking our ass.

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#44 Archaeologuy
March 13 2010, 06:04PM
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@The Real Scuba Steve

I love Grapes. Nobody on TV speaks their mind like the guy. It doesnt matter whether I agree with him or not, I respect his unwillingness to back down.

EDIT: I dont know why that was directed to Scuba Steve

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#45 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 06:07PM
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@Archaeologuy

That Cooke rant was spot on, and one of the best things he's said in quite some time.

Seriously though, enough with the dead soliders/cops.

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#46 Garett
March 13 2010, 06:07PM
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I agree, nobody like Grapes! That was a great installment of Coaches Obituary...er Coroner... Er Corner...

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#47 Gerald R. Ford
March 13 2010, 06:09PM
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That was a beautiful job by Grapes of destroying that über-douche Matt Cooke.

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#48 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 06:12PM
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Holy shot Cogliano! Get that boy some line mates!

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#49 jeanshorts
March 13 2010, 06:17PM
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Weak.

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#50 Wanyes bastard child
March 13 2010, 06:18PM
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Johnson is really showing tonight why he was the shames 7th D-man.

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