HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

Wanye
March 17 2010 03:55PM

 

Happy St. Patrick's Day Nation. May the something something of the something always light your way of something.

Or something.

This is the day on your calendar when everyone pretends to be Irish or pretends to be drunk and awesome, or in the case of Conan O'Brian actually be Irish and awesome and have the right to rub it in everyone's face this day above all others.

This is the day when we fish our old Boston Celtics hat out of the back of the closet, throw 'er on the the old brain garage and go out to face the world. We drove past the Druid on Jasper Avenue about 45 minutes ago and they are already lined up out the door.

We then stopped and bought a sixer of Bud Lights and are sitting at OilersNation HQ trying to cook up some sort of Irish Angle and write an article about St. Patrick's Day and link it back to the Oilers, losers of 46 of their last 43 games after last night.

Here goes. Ahem:

CONSIDER POOR PATTY O'SULLIVAN

Oh Patrick. What has happened to your NHL game that brought you here such a short time ago under such optimism by most Oilers fans including ourselves?

*shakes head sadly*

Last year our Irish Superstar was potting goals for the Kings at a rate of 0.20 per game and hasn't really dropped off that far; his 10 goals in 65 games has him at 0.15 goals per game. His point production hasn't followed off all that far either, 43 pts last year in 81 games has him at 0.54 points per game. His 31 points in 65 games this year has him at a similar 0.48 PPG.

At first blush it would seem that the Oilers have got exactly the player they thought they traded for when they swapped with the Kings at the end of last year. Then why is it we are always underwhelmed when we think about his play this season?

More importantly at at $2.388 million per season is this a player the Oilers want to keep around past his option year next year?

Something just doesn't sit right with us when we think about this guy in the long run. Most nights he is a ghost on the ice - and an expensive ghost at that. For $2.4 million a year we say "PASS" on ol' Patrick - him being Irish and St. Patty's day or not.

CONSIDER POOR PAT QUINN

Oh Patrick. How pumped are you that Daryl Katz and Company lured you out of a luxurious retirement with the promise of taking the helm of an emerging team of young guns?

*shakes head sadly*

What are you like the 5th most winningest coach in winning NHL coaching history? Did you ever think that in your 1,300 plus career wins you would encounter a team this crappy? You coached the Leafs man! THE LEAFS! Why do you need this drama in your life?

You poor bastard, we actually feel for you behind the bench this year. We also think it is a testament to your coaching skill and reputation that even though the Oil are this brutal we haven't seen a single person call for your head.

Chin up Patrick. Things will improve if you stick around.

PITY POOR JASON O'GREGOR

How has this guy given up booze for Lent?! We have a plan to bbm him every hour on the hour starting at 5 PM and ending at 5 AM tomorrow morning wishing him all the very best from the Irish folk around the world. 

PITY POOR WANYE O'GRETZ

We only have 3 beers left before we are done the working day.

Stay safe Nation, call a taxi to get back home tonight.

FINAL NOTE

Remember the guys who made the ghost ride the whip video we all love so much? Our main man Adam is at it again, this time making a follow up video to the commerical he made for Doritos last year. This year's entry involves a man named Chips MacTavish, so its message should resonate with all Oilers fans from coast to coast.

Adam needs views on YouTube to win this contest and a grand prize valued at one hundred million dollars* so let's all do him a favour and watch this several hundred times each. The man invented ghost riding the whip Nation, it's the very least we can do.

*estimated value

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 Wanyes bastard child
March 17 2010, 04:01PM
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FIST ME!!

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#2 Harlie
March 17 2010, 04:02PM
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nice shmeebs...I'll drink to that!

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#3 The Towel Boy
March 17 2010, 04:08PM
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Something something to you too Wanye.. or something!

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#5 DougWeightProblem
March 17 2010, 04:11PM
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If I catch a leprachaun I want it to be the blonde one with the little hat ... but she would probably throw up in her moutha little when she heard my wish.

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#6 jeanshorts
March 17 2010, 04:14PM
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DougWeightProblem wrote:

If I catch a leprachaun I want it to be the blonde one with the little hat ... but she would probably throw up in her moutha little when she heard my wish.

I like the one attached to the Gregor part. And here I thought his name couldn't be associated with anything sexier!

#completelyhomo

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#8 DougWeightProblem
March 17 2010, 04:19PM
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Wanye wrote:

That one is my favourite too.

MMMMMMMM Minty!

It's true; she does have a certain "spunkiness" to her. Oh, how can we pick favorites! It's like having a favorite child, or porn site.

EDIT: Just realized I used "child" and "porn site" in the same post. Not a good sign ...

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#9 I'm a Scientist!
March 17 2010, 04:20PM
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This article is EXACTLY like those dreams I was talking about...'cept with more clothes and less 'doin' things'...

Neat.

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#10 Poo Czar
March 17 2010, 04:21PM
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I wanna see her Shamrock Shakes. Or something.

ACCEPTABLE WEEKDAY DRUNK NIGHT!!!

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#11 OvenChicken8 - Team JSBM
March 17 2010, 04:30PM
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DougWeightProblem wrote:

It's true; she does have a certain "spunkiness" to her. Oh, how can we pick favorites! It's like having a favorite child, or porn site.

EDIT: Just realized I used "child" and "porn site" in the same post. Not a good sign ...

Something tells me you've been flagged for investigation lol.

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#12 DougWeightProblem
March 17 2010, 04:32PM
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OvenChicken8 - Team JSBM wrote:

Something tells me you've been flagged for investigation lol.

Hide me ... I'm too pretty to go to prison!

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#13 Muji 狗
March 17 2010, 04:34PM
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Steve Kelly & Jason Bonsignore = Roman Hamrlik = Brewer = Pronger = Lupul = Pitkanen = Erik Cole = POS

POS is a better player than Steve Kelly & Jason Bonsignore ever were so the Oiles win this equation!!

Hurray!

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#14 jeanshorts
March 17 2010, 04:38PM
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DougWeightProblem wrote:

It's true; she does have a certain "spunkiness" to her. Oh, how can we pick favorites! It's like having a favorite child, or porn site.

EDIT: Just realized I used "child" and "porn site" in the same post. Not a good sign ...

hahahaha. Oh man. We're all going to end up in court.

*dusts off his court suit, and by dusts off I mean pulls out of the laundry where it was placed yesterday after court*

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#15 brouhaha
March 17 2010, 04:42PM
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Sullivan will surely be bought out unless Tambo can't trick another team to take him.

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#16 Heavyd
March 17 2010, 04:59PM
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GREEN BEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only thing that sucks is Green poo.

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#17 Phil
March 17 2010, 05:00PM
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all them broads... they'd all get it mighty quick, best believe that.

muthaf*ck who f*ck mutha also, trade o'sullivan, he aint even real irish lebron james more irish den dat muf*cka

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#19 Oilitsinyoutogive
March 17 2010, 05:29PM
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Phil wrote:

all them broads... they'd all get it mighty quick, best believe that.

muthaf*ck who f*ck mutha also, trade o'sullivan, he aint even real irish lebron james more irish den dat muf*cka

going to throw it out there but you might want to finish school before you think talking/typing like this is cool...i didn't think anything would be more sad then the Oilers this year. Then i read that.

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#20 quicksilver ballet
March 17 2010, 05:32PM
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I think the blonde at the top of the page is singing our favorite song, as long as she doesn't start talking we should get along just fine.

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#21 rubbertrout
March 17 2010, 05:38PM
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OvenChicken8 - Team JSBM wrote:

Something tells me you've been flagged for investigation lol.

You and Pete Townshend are flagged as perpetrators. Expect to see Dateline NBC at your door with the "to catch a predator" crew any minute.

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#22 Canadasportsguy
March 17 2010, 09:53PM
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I never saw an Irish woman like that before.

TBH

www.Canadasportsguy.com

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#23 Patrick O'Wanye
March 17 2010, 09:57PM
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WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THANK YOU FOR INVENTING BEER SAINT PATRICK!!

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#24 Chris.
March 17 2010, 10:21PM
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Canadasportsguy wrote:

I never saw an Irish woman like that before.

TBH

www.Canadasportsguy.com

How about this:

http://thechive.com/2009/03/17/happy-st-patricks-day-enjoy-hot-girls-in-green-bikinis-20-photos/

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#25 Nail Yakupov
March 18 2010, 05:10AM
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i'm 12 years old and what is this

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#26 Skidplate
March 18 2010, 06:02AM
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Wanye, not sure if you have realized this, but the people on this board say the important number is 2.925 Mil cap hit....

WAKE UP EVERYONE, it's the day after St. Paddy's Day and it's a work day

*sad trombone*

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#27 Pajamah
March 18 2010, 06:09AM
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Skidplate wrote:

Wanye, not sure if you have realized this, but the people on this board say the important number is 2.925 Mil cap hit....

WAKE UP EVERYONE, it's the day after St. Paddy's Day and it's a work day

*sad trombone*

Maturity be damned

*falls to the floor kicking and screaming*

I DON'T WANNA!!!!!!

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#28 The Goat - Team FIST
March 18 2010, 08:18AM
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rubbertrout wrote:

You and Pete Townshend are flagged as perpetrators. Expect to see Dateline NBC at your door with the "to catch a predator" crew any minute.

Why don't you have a seat right there....have a seat, take a seat.....

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#29 Douggy
March 18 2010, 08:35AM
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clearly, i need to start banging more irish chicks! wow!

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#30 roughneck
March 18 2010, 10:06AM
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Will we see a piece on here evaluating the mighty quinns year as "team builder and culture changer"?

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#31 Ender
March 18 2010, 10:38AM
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roughneck wrote:

Will we see a piece on here evaluating the mighty quinns year as "team builder and culture changer"?

It's hard to build a house out of broken boards.

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#32 Phil
March 18 2010, 10:49AM
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Oilitsinyoutogive wrote:

going to throw it out there but you might want to finish school before you think talking/typing like this is cool...i didn't think anything would be more sad then the Oilers this year. Then i read that.

Dear Sir,

I would like to sincerely appologize for using such bad, vulgar and generally ineffective grammar, and for being unnable to eloquently share my opinion and my thoughts on this noble board with people like you who are so higher up in the ranks than I am.

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