GDB LXXXII: GAME OVER

Wanye
April 11 2010 03:40PM

We had to laugh yesterday when bingofuel accidentally declared Game 81 to be Game 82 in the GDB. Commenters were quick to point out the error and The Fuellian One was quick to text us "is there REALLY another game this weekend? Next year we are SO NOT writing the GDB titles in Roman Numerals. I don't care what else changes with the team next year Wanye, but no more Roman numerals will mark the start of the Hall/Sequin Era as far as I am concerned."

But here it really is Nation. Game 82 of what we consider to be the worst season the Oilers have had since they joined the NHL from the new defunct WHA waaaaaay back in 1979.

THIS IS THE END

Not even the dulcet sounds of Jim Morrison can soothe our tattered nerves this year. For those of you keeping score, this marks the third season that the OilersNation has existed. By our rough estimates we have collectively hammered out about 246 regular season GDBs - or just a shade under three seasons - of this brutal playoff free hockey.

We would give anything for a playoff game Nation.

Anything.

Does someone need to be traded? We will personally run them out of town by camping naked on their lawn for weeks on end and having multiple paparazzi follow him about town documenting each and every facet of his life until he tells Oilers brass he needs to be moved.

Is it a player that needs to come to town in order to fix things? We will personally kidnap their favourite Uncle with the sole demand that player XYZ be immediately traded to Edmonton. The Uncle won't be harmed (at first) but unless trade talks are opened within 48 hours between the as yet unnamed player and Oilers Brass things could get really real, really fast.

Whatever it takes Nation. Crimes of passion are always given more lenient sentences by the Canadian Courts.

We can't have another season of this non-playoffian hockey. Brownlee is already making noises that the team won't contend for a playoff spot next year. What then Nation?

What then?!

What have we done to deserve this oh Wise Gods of Hockey? How have we offended you? We buy NHL brand merchandise every year to placate your bloodlust for revenue. We purchase the PPVs, we feverishly read every printed word written about the team AND we find ourselves listening to sports radio an inordinate amount of time.

What else can we do?

LET'S SEE YOUR BALLS

On Tuesday the NHL will draw out the balls for the 2010 Entry Draft. We just know that if the Oilers don't get the first pick overall the commentary on here will positively ESPLODE with statements like:

"This is just another example of the Oilers inability to win."

"The number one pick draft ball must have had a wife that refused to report to Edmonton."

"This is somehow Kevin Lowe's fault."

With Hall and Sequin recently flip flopping the number one and number two spots in the Central Scouting Rankings, it is really a coin toss between the two players Nation. And with first or second pick on lock, the Oilers can't possibly lose come draft day in June. 

Let's all try and keep this in mind this week shall we? 

THE GAME TODAY

Are we wrong? Really?

Sigh.

See you at 6 Oilers.

 

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 David S
April 11 2010, 08:14PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Did George Parros actually just steal the puck and wire a wrister in from the top of the circle?

And the humiliation is complete.

Sooooo...any further questions about JDD?

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#52 Heavyd
April 11 2010, 08:17PM
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@David S

He should be the starter. He is ready for the NHL.

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#53 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 08:20PM
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@David S

I think he needs to play a few more games so we can get a good look and really evaluate him.

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#54 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 08:20PM
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Atta go Chipchura. The pride of Vimy.

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#56 Moop
April 11 2010, 08:21PM
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Phew. I was worried that George Parros' goal on JDD would be the last goal of the 2009-2010 NHL season.

...

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#59 StrangePhD
April 11 2010, 08:23PM
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Well...I supposed getting pulled in the last game of the season (long after any meaningful games were actually played) would be quite the slap in the face.

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#60 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 08:23PM
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Wanye wrote:

Comrie still has jump. He has been a pro this season.

I chalk it up to those much needed rests in the pressbox.

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#61 David S
April 11 2010, 08:24PM
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Heavyd wrote:

He should be the starter. He is ready for the NHL.

Good one man. Good one.

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#62 Moop
April 11 2010, 08:25PM
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Wanye wrote:

Possibly. Are you going to make it a two part story like stupid JS or actually give us something good?

Well it'll be a two-parter, but the second part will just be the coroner's report.

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#63 Gerald R. Ford
April 11 2010, 08:25PM
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Honestly, this season just wouldn't have been complete without one last Chuck Norris-like punch to the collective junk of The Nation.

Well done, boys. Well done.

It's almost Tuesday.

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#64 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 08:25PM
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Thank god it's over.

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#65 David S
April 11 2010, 08:25PM
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Well that's it boys. A total and complete crap your pants year.

May this never happen again.

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#67 Moop
April 11 2010, 08:27PM
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Wanye wrote:

Well that puts a lid on a big pile of crap. Thanks for nothing Oilers.

*spits loogie at 2009-10 Oilers season, hits it square in the eye*

THIS SEASON DOES NOT HAVE EYES. ONLY 527 ANUSES.

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#68 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 08:30PM
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Oh the Oilers only gave up 100 shots in the last two games? Well that's not bad. Not bad at all.

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#69 Heavyd
April 11 2010, 08:32PM
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@Wanye

Don't you dare put this score up all offseason. Or someone going to get hurt, real bad.

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#70 NsxZero
April 11 2010, 08:33PM
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On a brighter note, the Oilers definitely showed us how hard they fought for that 30th spot this year...

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#71 Heavyd
April 11 2010, 08:33PM
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Let;s start a petion to resign Comrie.

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#73 Colin
April 11 2010, 08:42PM
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Only 1-2 more years of suckitude to go!

I sort of pity the website though, it would be nice to have an awesome team for all of the kick-ass (free!) content we get here.

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#74 David S
April 11 2010, 08:43PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Oh the Oilers only gave up 100 shots in the last two games? Well that's not bad. Not bad at all.

You SO deserve a nutpunch right about now.

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#75 Colin
April 11 2010, 08:43PM
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Wanye wrote:

Sorry dude. I cannot tell a lie.

This will be up for a loooooooong long time.

It could be worse, it could show a loss to the flamers for 5 months.

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#76 David S
April 11 2010, 08:45PM
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Jeez Pat Quinn sounded like a beaten man. Sad to see.

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#77 jake
April 11 2010, 08:51PM
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jake! jake! wake up!.....it's ok, it's ok, it was just a bad bad dream.....

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#78 Maggie the Monkey
April 11 2010, 08:52PM
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Wanye wrote:

Sorry dude. I cannot tell a lie.

This will be up for a loooooooong long time.

Never mind a petition to re-sign Comrie - how about a petition to keep this abysmal final score off of the Nation's headline for the next 5 months?

Don't punish the children for something the adults did, Wanye, it's just not fair.

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#80 Archaeologuy
April 11 2010, 08:59PM
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The Oilers have had worse moments, but never a worse season. It's time to take 09/10 out back and give it the Old Yeller treatment.

I want to see Tambellini actually do something this off-season that helps the team.

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#81 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 09:04PM
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Archaeologuy wrote:

The Oilers have had worse moments, but never a worse season. It's time to take 09/10 out back and give it the Old Yeller treatment.

I want to see Tambellini actually do something this off-season that helps the team.

Does he have the ability to go back in time and somehow fire Kevin Lowe immediately after the run to the cup? That may help.

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#82 Archaeologuy
April 11 2010, 09:05PM
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@jeanshorts

Is that what Tambellini was doing all last summer? Trying to get Doc Brown out of the Wild West?

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#83 Maggie the Monkey
April 11 2010, 09:17PM
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Wanye wrote:

Nonsense. This score will remain up the entire off season. If the Oilers did not want it to be up, they would have won the freakin game.

*starts smashing things around the house to protest the year we have all had*

I think that because Bingofuel advertised Saturday night's game as the last game of the season, the Oilers got confused and didn't show up today. (We can tell for damn certain that JDD reads this blog now.)

Due to this error by the Nation, the best restitution at this point would be to simply ignore today's result altogether and keep up the original "GDB LXXXII" score until next season: 4 - 3, Oil over Kings.

C'mon Wanye, have a heart. It's going to be a long enough summer as it is without having to stare at a 7 - 2 loss until September.

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#84 BarryS
April 11 2010, 09:18PM
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On a positive note, Eberle gets 14 points in 11 games. The new dman gets 1 point in 2 games.

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#85 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
April 11 2010, 09:27PM
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Wanye wrote:

Comrie still has jump. He has been a pro this season.

i would have an extra jump in my step if i got to do dirty things to hillary duff all the time too

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#86 Reagan
April 11 2010, 09:32PM
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DLOT

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#87 Harlie
April 11 2010, 09:36PM
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9m0mLRJPe4

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#88 Zamboni Driver
April 11 2010, 09:42PM
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Anybody hear if Rod said "F*ck this noise, I'm outta here"....or something more eloquent?

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#89 Adam D
April 11 2010, 09:50PM
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SAVE US HALL. SAVE US ALL.

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#90 RossCreekNation
April 11 2010, 09:51PM
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Heavyd wrote:

Don't you dare put this score up all offseason. Or someone going to get hurt, real bad.

@ Wanye

DO IT! DO IT!

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#91 RossCreekNation
April 11 2010, 09:58PM
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So I see Jim Matheson is now on the Seguin train... welcome aboard, Matty.

Why fall for Hall, when you could begin with Seguin?

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#92 Poo Czar
April 11 2010, 10:06PM
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So all the bad stuff is over now and the Optimism starts?

Whew, that was rough. So happy to be back cheering for a winning, up and coming franchise!

HUZZAH OILERS!!!

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#93 Pajamah
April 11 2010, 10:36PM
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Poo Czar wrote:

So all the bad stuff is over now and the Optimism starts?

Whew, that was rough. So happy to be back cheering for a winning, up and coming franchise!

HUZZAH OILERS!!!

I like your thinking

and a HUZZAH for optimism!!

I'm guessing next season, 32 wins

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#94 third string plumber
April 11 2010, 10:45PM
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if the oilers don't draft Hall i'm gonna break s***

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#95 Hemmertime
April 11 2010, 11:16PM
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Wanye wrote:

Nonsense. This score will remain up the entire off season. If the Oilers did not want it to be up, they would have won the freakin game.

*starts smashing things around the house to protest the year we have all had*

Fine, but give us a reprieve during World Hockey Championships, you can put Canada scores there - especially if an Oiler goes (Horcoff too hurt? Penner understandably says Fk off?) Hell, Comrie could make it if enough people say no

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#96 bingofuel
April 11 2010, 11:41PM
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Annnnnd.... Souray says he wants out of Edmonton. because of "management":

http://www.sportsnet.ca/hockey/2010/04/12/souray_request/

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#97 RossCreekNation
April 11 2010, 11:51PM
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@bingofuel

Wow... I just came here to post that! Boy did he unleash on management, eh? This deserves a new thread fast, no?

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#98 Hemmertime
April 11 2010, 11:53PM
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Fk Souray, This one mutual, Dont worry, we want to trade you - No one wants you at fair value. Nice of him to lower his value for us, we had list of teams to move him to, we didnt, now hes stabbing us in the back before we can trade him anywhere as revenge?

Fk Souray

Though also, Fk Tambo. Clean house, but deal Souray too

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#99 DoubleTap
April 12 2010, 12:00AM
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"I wasn’t even ready to play when I came here, but it was like, ‘We signed you, you go out and play.’ I hadn’t been cleared to play yet, but I was being questioned by the organization:‘When are you going to be able to play?’" - Souray

When a player says something like that its evidence to me that maybe the past few years of increasing man hours lost to injuries isn't just a series of coincidencs

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#100 nullterm
April 12 2010, 12:04AM
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DoubleTap wrote:

"I wasn’t even ready to play when I came here, but it was like, ‘We signed you, you go out and play.’ I hadn’t been cleared to play yet, but I was being questioned by the organization:‘When are you going to be able to play?’" - Souray

When a player says something like that its evidence to me that maybe the past few years of increasing man hours lost to injuries isn't just a series of coincidencs

What? Like Horcoff and Hemsky both trying to play through really badly injured shoulders?

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