GDB LXXXII: GAME OVER

Wanye
April 11 2010 03:40PM

We had to laugh yesterday when bingofuel accidentally declared Game 81 to be Game 82 in the GDB. Commenters were quick to point out the error and The Fuellian One was quick to text us "is there REALLY another game this weekend? Next year we are SO NOT writing the GDB titles in Roman Numerals. I don't care what else changes with the team next year Wanye, but no more Roman numerals will mark the start of the Hall/Sequin Era as far as I am concerned."

But here it really is Nation. Game 82 of what we consider to be the worst season the Oilers have had since they joined the NHL from the new defunct WHA waaaaaay back in 1979.

THIS IS THE END

Not even the dulcet sounds of Jim Morrison can soothe our tattered nerves this year. For those of you keeping score, this marks the third season that the OilersNation has existed. By our rough estimates we have collectively hammered out about 246 regular season GDBs - or just a shade under three seasons - of this brutal playoff free hockey.

We would give anything for a playoff game Nation.

Anything.

Does someone need to be traded? We will personally run them out of town by camping naked on their lawn for weeks on end and having multiple paparazzi follow him about town documenting each and every facet of his life until he tells Oilers brass he needs to be moved.

Is it a player that needs to come to town in order to fix things? We will personally kidnap their favourite Uncle with the sole demand that player XYZ be immediately traded to Edmonton. The Uncle won't be harmed (at first) but unless trade talks are opened within 48 hours between the as yet unnamed player and Oilers Brass things could get really real, really fast.

Whatever it takes Nation. Crimes of passion are always given more lenient sentences by the Canadian Courts.

We can't have another season of this non-playoffian hockey. Brownlee is already making noises that the team won't contend for a playoff spot next year. What then Nation?

What then?!

What have we done to deserve this oh Wise Gods of Hockey? How have we offended you? We buy NHL brand merchandise every year to placate your bloodlust for revenue. We purchase the PPVs, we feverishly read every printed word written about the team AND we find ourselves listening to sports radio an inordinate amount of time.

What else can we do?

LET'S SEE YOUR BALLS

On Tuesday the NHL will draw out the balls for the 2010 Entry Draft. We just know that if the Oilers don't get the first pick overall the commentary on here will positively ESPLODE with statements like:

"This is just another example of the Oilers inability to win."

"The number one pick draft ball must have had a wife that refused to report to Edmonton."

"This is somehow Kevin Lowe's fault."

With Hall and Sequin recently flip flopping the number one and number two spots in the Central Scouting Rankings, it is really a coin toss between the two players Nation. And with first or second pick on lock, the Oilers can't possibly lose come draft day in June. 

Let's all try and keep this in mind this week shall we? 

THE GAME TODAY

Are we wrong? Really?

Sigh.

See you at 6 Oilers.

 

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#2 Moop
April 11 2010, 08:27PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
2
props
Wanye wrote:

Well that puts a lid on a big pile of crap. Thanks for nothing Oilers.

*spits loogie at 2009-10 Oilers season, hits it square in the eye*

THIS SEASON DOES NOT HAVE EYES. ONLY 527 ANUSES.

Avatar
#3 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
April 11 2010, 09:27PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
2
props
Wanye wrote:

Comrie still has jump. He has been a pro this season.

i would have an extra jump in my step if i got to do dirty things to hillary duff all the time too

Avatar
#4 Adam D
April 11 2010, 09:50PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
2
props

SAVE US HALL. SAVE US ALL.

Avatar
#7 Moop
April 11 2010, 08:13PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

Does anyone want to hear about the bath I'm about to take? I'm bringing my toaster with me.

Avatar
#8 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 08:20PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

@David S

I think he needs to play a few more games so we can get a good look and really evaluate him.

Avatar
#9 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 08:25PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

Thank god it's over.

Avatar
#11 Heavyd
April 11 2010, 08:32PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

@Wanye

Don't you dare put this score up all offseason. Or someone going to get hurt, real bad.

Avatar
#12 Maggie the Monkey
April 11 2010, 08:52PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props
Wanye wrote:

Sorry dude. I cannot tell a lie.

This will be up for a loooooooong long time.

Never mind a petition to re-sign Comrie - how about a petition to keep this abysmal final score off of the Nation's headline for the next 5 months?

Don't punish the children for something the adults did, Wanye, it's just not fair.

Avatar
#13 Archaeologuy
April 11 2010, 09:05PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

@jeanshorts

Is that what Tambellini was doing all last summer? Trying to get Doc Brown out of the Wild West?

Avatar
#14 Chris.
April 11 2010, 03:43PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Just like Daryl Katz promised: It's been fun!

Avatar
#15 Heavyd
April 11 2010, 03:45PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Finally. Sad to see no more hockey this year, but at least we have a lot to look forward too.

Avatar
#16 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 04:30PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Wanye wrote:

Every second of every day is fun when you are a billionaire, but I bet even Kay-Z isn't having fun anymore.

He's too busy trying to get his Super-Megafun-Awesome-Katzpound built downtown. Without paying for it.

Avatar
#17 Petr's Jofa
April 11 2010, 04:42PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I think the Oilers have drafted very well lately and have confidence that they will chose the right player for this team if they win the lottery draw. Having said that, a part of me wants them to lose and drop down to the second pick so that the choice is taken away from this team's management so that the Oilioshpere doesn't explode. If they win the lottery, no matter who is announced with the #1 pick, half of the fans will be pissed and Tambo & Lowe will be idiots and I will have to endure season of reading how we picked the wrong player.

Avatar
#18 Crash
April 11 2010, 05:11PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

There's one statement you missed if the Oilers lose the lottery and end up picking 2nd..

The statement goes something like this:

"Damn Gary Bettman...theres no way he would allow a Canadian based team to win that lottery"

Avatar
#19 jake
April 11 2010, 05:15PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Heading over to a friend's place who hosts me throughout the year for games (not nearly as often this year) as he has the sports package. We will do our own year end analysis and draft discussions I am sure. Looking forward to the draft, not for the draft pick but more for what other changes may take place at that time (Souray, Moreau for example, what is their futures?). Go Oil. Confused, how come I just saw Phil accept the green jacket? Doesn't that belong to um..ahh..what's his name again...um....

Avatar
#20 Skidplate
April 11 2010, 05:26PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

You are right Wanye, either Hall or Seguin will work out fine in Edmonton. It is the other picks and moves that the team makes that will tell the tale.

I hope Brownlee is wrong with his prediction of missing the playoffs again next year. I think that with a healthy Rehabibulin, Hemsky, Souray and our youngsters 1 year wiser and more experienced, Stanley Cup, here we come..... or at least playoffs here we come.

Avatar
#21 Librarian Mike
April 11 2010, 05:39PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Speaking of 'game over':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pPQnhhUqtU

Avatar
#22 Harlie
April 11 2010, 05:59PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

i want to kick Gary Coleman squarely in his undistended nuts. Go Oilers!

Avatar
#25 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 06:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

JDD is not a good goalie. Brownlee can yell at me all he wants, but guy is either standing on his head or crapping his pants. There is no middle ground.

Avatar
#26 Mike Krushelnyski
April 11 2010, 06:17PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@jeanshorts

Is it just me, or has Dubnyk looked way, way better over the last 15 games or so?

Avatar
#27 Bombstradamus
April 11 2010, 06:19PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I still find it hard to believe that for two million bucks the Ducks could have had Comrie for Perry.

What were they thinking?

Avatar
#28 Bombstradamus
April 11 2010, 06:20PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I'd move forward with Dubnyk.

Avatar
#29 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 06:22PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@Mike Krushelnyski

I was always more of a fan of Dubnyk, but I wasn't giving up on JDD cause he did show those flashes. But in my mind I think Dubnyk has made more than a good enough case for himself to be the number 2 here next year. He's got ice water in his veins. His positioning is far better, as is his rebound control. JDD does make those huge saves from time to time, but there's no consistency, he seems to let in A LOT of weak goals early in the game, and he just makes me nervous. Maybe full time duty on the farm is what he needs to turn his game around, but right now he does not look ready for regular NHL minutes.

Avatar
#31 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 06:26PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@Wanye

Agreed. But I think Dubnyk looks more like a guy who has overcome the horrible development woes of the Oilers where as JDD looks more like a victim of crappy management, and is still trying to battle through it.

Avatar
#34 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 06:34PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Wanye wrote:

They should raise the prize on the score and win to a billion dollars if an Oiler scores 5 in a game.

What a stupid promotion. Does that ever pay out ever?

The best part is it's not even a guaranteed million if an Oiler defies all the laws of common sense. It's a "chance" to win a million dollars.

Also I shop at Safeway at least once a week, if not two, and nary a Hoover vacuum or a cheap watch has been won. Stop mocking me Oilers and their sponsorship partners! What have I ever done to you?????

Avatar
#35 Bombstradamus
April 11 2010, 06:35PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@jeanshorts

The Oilers should try a 2-2-2. Pull a forward and throw DD out there with JDD, then they could morph into JDDDD and be the 13', two headed, goalie monster.

Avatar
#36 esa tikkanen
April 11 2010, 06:40PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

it has gotten to the point that whichever poor forward ends up on the ice at the same time as Chorney/Strudwick has to worry about getting a few more minuses on their plus/minus line.

in the thirty years I have followed the Oilers I have never seen a pairing as bad as Strudwick and Chorney.

I hope they decide to let Strudwich walk this year, toughness and leadership and all, and they had better decide Chorney needs 2 more years in the minors unless they want to finish DFL again next year. This guy just bleeds goals, I think in the bottom 5 all time Oilersdmen , if not bottom 3.

Avatar
#37 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 06:40PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@Bombstradamus

That sounds amazing on paper but why do I get the feeling it would somehow be even worse than having one of them in net at a time?

Avatar
#40 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 07:11PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

So I went for a shower, and I missed that last Anaheim goal, but I see JDD was once again beaten short side. Awesome. Thank god Dubnyk wasn't rewarded with a start after that spectacular performance against LA yesterday.

Avatar
#42 Wanyes bastard child
April 11 2010, 07:16PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

On a bright note... i finally figured out how to get an avatar.

Avatar
#44 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 07:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@Wanye

Okay. Well, the water was nice and warm. I lathered myself up with body wash and was getting ready to shampoo my hair when a felt something rush through my entire body. I looked up an remembered the shower head has a wonderful massage setting to it. I took the shower head off of the the coupling and adjusted the setting ever so slightly. I took a deep breath and slowly started to lower the shower head.

TO BE CONTINUED.....

Avatar
#47 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 07:27PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@Wanye

I'll finish that story just as soon as the Oilers make the playoffs.

*Just pretend I said that looking exactly like the dirt bag dad from Angels In The Outfield. Motorcycle, thick mullet and all*

Avatar
#49 jeanshorts
April 11 2010, 07:34PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@Wanye

Just think of me as the Lady Gaga of OilersNation. My look always changes, and the sheer ridiculousness of these looks makes it pretty apparent that I've suffered some kind of major brain trauma.

Comments are closed for this article.