HOW ABOUT THEM HABS?

Wanye
April 30 2010 12:01AM

Ordinarily we couldn't possibly give less of a damn about the Montreal Canadiens if we had an electrified Not Give a Damn machine turned all the way up to maximum output. But even we have to hand it to Les Habs, much like we have to hand it to Jeanshorts for making the video above.

HOW DID THEY DO IT?

How did the Habs manage to return from a 3-1 series deficit exactly? How did they manage to shut down SuperStud Alexander Ovechkin? How did they shake off the dismissal of every single hockey expert who made a prediction about the series?

Take NHLfanhouse for example, not exactly the most celebrated NHL prediction centre, they nonetheless gave the Habs about the same odds as Charlie Sheen remaining hooker free for seven (consecutive) days:

 Look at all them wrong predictions. You would think that a guy who made the Capitals the cornerstone of his draft team- the 142nd place Lindsay Lohan Death Watch Society - would be a bit more upset to see 1/5 of his draft squadron eliminated.

But when you are in 142nd you have such a massive lead on the pack you can afford to put your feet up a little bit:

Oh yeah.

That's the stuff hockey predicting part of the brain. You have failed us time and time again yet we just can't help ourselves but listen to you as we fill out draft cards.

Note to first place team "double J:" no one is scared of you. You have four Canucks dude. Prepare to have most of the field blow past you as the Canucks are eliminated by the Hawks in six games.

You know who will be laughing then?

The 167th place Lindsay Lohan Death Watch Society that's who.

For posterity here are the remainder of our second round predictions:

(1) Sharks vs (5) Red Wings

What up with the Sharks? Shouldn't they have checked out of the playoffs by now? Oh that's right, you generally gas the second round of the playoffs, losing in 6 games as you have 3 of the past 4 years.

Yeah, that's the ticket and exactly what is going to happen to the good-but-not-great Detroit Red Wings.

Wings in Six.

(2) Blackhawks vs (3) Canucks

Is this the year? Could it be that the Vancouver Canucks have what it takes to make it past the second round, allowing tens of thousands of Hippie Vancouverites to become vaguely aware that they have a hockey team? Does Roberto Luongo duplicate his Olympic performance and strap the team to his back?

Do the Sedins shake off being called twinkies and set the standard for playoff performances by Swedish Twins?

No.

Hawks in Seven.

(4) Penguins vs (8) Canadiens

For some reason we have a strange love for 8th place Canadian teams that become a Cinderella story beating the Top Conference Team in the first round. Is this the year the Canadiens are the CDN team to go to the finals only to lose in Game Seven?

Canadiens in Seven.

(6) Bruins vs (7) Flyers

We hate you Chris Pronger. Even more than the other monster defenseman Zdeno Chara, seen below posing in the nude for some reason:
 

Bruins in Seven.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 Suntory Hanzo
April 30 2010, 12:13AM
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Heads up for you Wanye...Betty White is on SNL Next week!

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#2 BUCK75
April 30 2010, 12:16AM
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My only hope is that Chelsea Dagger becomes a popular summer song again after we hear it around 15 times during the 2 or 3 games in Chicago.

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#3 SirFozz
April 30 2010, 07:15AM
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Now that is BIG sexy.

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#4 Librarian Mike
April 30 2010, 07:48AM
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Great video Jeanshorts.

The Bruins might be in the playoffs, but our captain looks way better naked...hahaha...

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#5 MrCondor
April 30 2010, 07:54AM
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Librarian Mike wrote:

Great video Jeanshorts.

The Bruins might be in the playoffs, but our captain looks way better naked...hahaha...

Hands up if that is the gayest thing you've ever read on a sports message board...

Props though - quite funny.

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#6 SirFozz
April 30 2010, 08:10AM
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MrCondor wrote:

Hands up if that is the gayest thing you've ever read on a sports message board...

Props though - quite funny.

For sure. I say we pin down Librarian Mike and tickle him as punishment...

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#7 Jon
April 30 2010, 08:15AM
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hahahaha great video!

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#8 Bob Cobb
April 30 2010, 08:39AM
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Thats really what I needed to see first thing in the morning, a naked Chara, thanks alot. I just about hurled on my keyboard.

Sharks in 6

Pittsburgh in 6

Philly in 7

Van in 7

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#9 D
April 30 2010, 08:47AM
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That video is classic.

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#10 madjam
April 30 2010, 09:01AM
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Montreal changes GM during season and Bingo goes their fortunes ! Hmmm , i wonder if we could have been that fortunate if we had done the same ?

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#11 tricksnard
April 30 2010, 09:05AM
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I'm at 172 and gunning for your 142 spot Wanye.

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#12 baggedmilk
April 30 2010, 09:10AM
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Blackhawks in 6. I do, however, give this series potential 4 crying Patrick Kanes out of 5. That makes for a good one.

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Why are your eyes anywhere on that pic?

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#14 Ender
April 30 2010, 09:24AM
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I wish I had a spare $163,000; those Hello Kitty figurines are smokin' hot. And my wife is always complaining about the price of bras but I had just put it down to whining; now I see maybe she's got something there - $8.6M for underwear does seem a bit over the top.

Washington's early exit has pretty much killed my hopes and dreams of dancing on the Lindsay Lohan Death Watch Society by Playoff's end. The only thing worse than picking 3 Capitals in your draft would have been picking 4. :(

Final thought - there needs to be some kind of a warning at the top of the article if you're going to post pics of naked guys. I've been washing my eyes out with soap for 15 minutes and the image still hurts worse that the treatment. Arrrrrrrrrgh!

[reaches for the Fast Orange]

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#15 OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F
April 30 2010, 09:31AM
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madjam wrote:

Montreal changes GM during season and Bingo goes their fortunes ! Hmmm , i wonder if we could have been that fortunate if we had done the same ?

Montreal was in 7th when Gainey steped back. They finished in 8th.

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#16 Tracie
April 30 2010, 09:41AM
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Thanks for the "Ice Boy" pic Wanye! This site also has to be kind to their female fans as well ya know! lol!

Man! under all that equipment, there are some hot bods in the NHL!!! Keep 'em coming!

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#17 Rusty Duggan
April 30 2010, 09:48AM
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Eric Francis is a douche bag

This is what he wrote recently:

"Only then can the club decide which player to take first overall at the Entry Draft in June. At the risk of raining on Edmonton’s parade, one has to wonder if one — or both — has the fortitude to be blatantly honest by saying what so many veteran NHLers have said: They don’t want to be an Oiler"

Typical behavior of the sports "writer"

I kinda feel like Gretzky did in 2002 Olympics. Everyone wants us to fail so desperately, especially the media for some reason. What the heck happened in Edmonton? Is there some sort of a conspiracy?

It would be nice to have good old Smytty back again.

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#18 Matt Henderson
April 30 2010, 09:51AM
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@Rusty Duggan

I wonder if he wrote the same thing when Pittsburgh won the right to select Crosby. That team was terrible for much longer when they took The Kid.

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#19 Rusty Duggan
April 30 2010, 10:01AM
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Francis also wrote this:

"While both likely cherish the thought of going first overall, surely the allure of starting their pro career in a far more palatable city such as Boston is there. Whether they’d say as much would truly reveal their character and smarts."

Douchey Mcdouchebag

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#20 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
April 30 2010, 10:32AM
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Ha! I heard an interview with Seguin re: his player of the year award the other day. He was talking about how he's really excited to go first overall, but he needs to keep in mind that it's a real possibility that he might go third or fourth. Sounds like he's all too familiar with Edmonton's management.

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#22 Victoria
April 30 2010, 10:41AM
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It's easy to understand why an Oilers fan would like the Habs playoffs story in the playoffs right now... it's the Oilers in '06. Also, I've thought for a few years now that the Habs have to look past Gainey's man-love for Price and give Halak friggin' chance. Damn right!

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#23 David S
April 30 2010, 11:53AM
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That Jeanshorts guy is some kind of video magician.

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#24 DoubleJ
April 30 2010, 12:57PM
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Hey just happened to notice that I'm in first. NBD.

But I don't have Pronger like the guy who is one point behind me.

Here's to Pronger getting injured early in the first. Who picks Pronger on Oilersnation anyways?

Never mind I just checked the draft

I'm in second Damn you Tony

There goes my five seconds of fame.

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#25 Dj franchise
April 30 2010, 01:30PM
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What if it was the Habs va Canucks for the finals it would be canadas year first Olympic gold Canadian Stanley cup final oilers 1st overall pick bettman wouldn't be impressed

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#26 OILERSORDEATH
April 30 2010, 04:07PM
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Go Blackhawks!! Kill me some Nuckers! I want to see the big Blackhawks crush them whiners. I really hate Vancouver!!

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#27 jeanshorts
April 30 2010, 08:23PM
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David S wrote:

That Jeanshorts guy is some kind of video magician.

Honestly, I can't take all the credit.

But I will. So, yes, I am awesome.

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#29 freeze
May 01 2010, 11:14AM
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That video was depressing...

and hilarious.

but mostly depressing.

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