A RECAP OF EVENTS

Wanye
May 31 2010 03:14PM

How was that weekend for everybody? Did your southern parts freeze together leaving you wondering if you had slept through the eleven day Canadian summer? The next hippie we see crying about global warming is going to get a roundhouse kick to the face, courtesy of your ol' pal Wanye.

Believe that.

BANFF

In what we hope has turned the corner from "thing-we-sometimes-do" to the "thing-we-always-do-and-no-complaining-girlfriends-can-stop-us-ever" we headed up the roughest, toughest gang of street thugs and headed off to Banff with the expectation of playing golf.

This expectation was quickly replaced with the realization that it was snowing and that the only thing 16 red blooded Canadian men of varying degrees of good looks could do is start a day party at 10:30 AM and go till last call.

Fortunately there was a bevy of sporting events to keep us entertained and stagette season is in full swing in Banff these days. So we had that going for us.

EVENT 1: UFC

 

We could ordinarily give two squirts about a UFC fight except that Mr. T from the new A-Team movie was fighting and that is something you don't see every day. Plus a big bouncer went around the bar around hour 6 of the day party and demanded $10 from everyone in attendance.

Because we hadn't yet devised a money making scam by which we would be able to pay our existing bill, we yelled "ADD IT TO THE TAB MY MAN" and settled in to split our attention between the Cup and the UFC. 

At the risk of becoming extraordinarily unpopular - especially to FlamesNation's own Pat Steinberg who was covering the event in Vegas for the Fan 940 - we don't like the UFC. Sure, we can see the appeal in it. Two large, sweaty men engaging in a variety of grappling poses, faces mere inches from one another's groins. It is a great way to spend an evening.

But we have a philosophical issue with a sport where if one of the combatants actually died during a match, it would send the crowd into such an orgy of cheering that the host city would have to scramble the national guard to maintain control.

Not to mention sales of Tapout clothing and Ed Hardy shirts would go through the roof as the viewers of the kill move would immediately begin prepping for a celebratory night on the town to compare notes with other UFC viewers like the guy featured below:

Viewer 1: Did you see that guy totally snap the neck of that other guy?

Viewer 2: Yeah, totally.

Viewer 1: Wasn't that radical?

Viewer 2: Yeah, totally.

Viewer 1: Want to go practice wrestling in booty shorts with me?

Viewer 2: Yeah, totally.

This may be a bit of an oversimplification of the issue and we know that the UFC presents a world class event. If the NHL understood how to market itself 1/10000 as well as the UFC we wouldn't be staring down the sagging attendance in the Southern US like we are today. 

We are just saying that given the choice between watching Bolivian C-SPAN or the UFC we would pick the wacky antics of Evo Morales any day.

EVENT 2: SCF10G1

Fortunately, the Stanley Cup of Hockey match was first class and presented a welcome distraction from the screaming masses of UFC fans in the bar. Did anyone else tune in to watch this thing? It wasn't exactly the defensive battle one would expect from G1 of the finals but it certainly was entertaining.

We can't help but marvel at the quality of play in these here playoffs. Maybe it is because 99.4% of the hockey we watch is performed by the Oilers of Edmonton, but these games are wicked good. We don't even recognize what a good hockey team is anymore.

Whatever the case, we will be tuning in for G2 tonight where the Flyers will be giving Leighton another chance between the pipes and Chris Pronger will be left wondering why Dustin Byfuglien isn't scared of him in the least.

You should watch too, if not for the game itself then for poor Jeremy Roenick, who is apparently so torn about his two former clubs facing one another in the finals that it merited an article on TSN.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 TheGunnShow
May 31 2010, 03:22PM
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Did you watch the Human Rake yesterday during the press conference? I just wanted to slap him in his smug mug.

I hope Byfuglien does that tonight. Such wrath on those chicklets.

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#2 RossCreekNation
May 31 2010, 03:31PM
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Count me a UFC fan, but... DID YOU SEE THIS?!

http://www.thisis50.com/profiles/blogs/mma-fighter-rips-out-friends

~Now THAT would've been awesome to see~

WOW!

p.s... checked out The Pint on Sat for the game... pretty decent place.

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#3 Hemmertime
May 31 2010, 03:33PM
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UFC was good during Ultimate Fighter on Spike, even then just first and maybe second seasons. The first season rocked and made me watch a few UFC events. I'll still watch the occasional one - GSP or Brock Lesner being two Ill regularly watch streaming - but by no means would I call myself a fan of it. The video game is good though. UFC fans are at least better than wrestling fans, though both have a propensity of getting drunk during an event and getting beer muscles.

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#5 The Towel Boy
May 31 2010, 03:33PM
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Man, I think the Oilers should draft Tyler Seguin. Wait...no! Hall!

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#7 Ender
May 31 2010, 03:39PM
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Proposed tagline for new UFC marketing campaign: Hug 'til it Hurts.

IMHO the NHL is a far superior show to MMA, but we can't really poke fun at the potential UFC body count without wincing uncomfortably when someone asks how it compares to hockey's. And no matter what the sport, there will probably be neanderthals looking to measure it's success in casualties.

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#9 OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F
May 31 2010, 03:57PM
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I went down to the fights this weekend and I'd have to say theirs alot more beer muscles at the Oilers games I go to then at the UFC fights. 95% of the people in the crowed were just ordinary guys with a couple buddies or guys with their wives/GF.

The actual fighters were also very down to earth and easy going guys. We chatted with 10 - 12 of them in the casinos/lounges/pools.

Interesting side note: we ran into a guy from sportsnet that mentioned that the UFC fighters are the best guys to work with while almost all the NHL guys are pricks.

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#10 I'm a Scientist!
May 31 2010, 03:57PM
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@Ender

Proposed tagline for new UFC marketing campaign: Hug 'til it Hurts.

Ooo the NHL should steal that line and then use Stortini as their poster boy... just sayin'.

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@OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F

Who shodown joe? I bet the NHL guys say the samething about the MMA guys, although who the hell is the Doug Maclean of MMA?

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#12 RossCreekNation
May 31 2010, 04:02PM
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@Wanye

I couldn't agree more. When he gets that little gap toothed grin going I want to either kill him or myself.

"Gap-tooth in ya mouth so my ____ gotsta fit"

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#13 OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F
May 31 2010, 04:03PM
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Ogden Brother Jr. - Team Strudwick for coach wrote:

Who shodown joe? I bet the NHL guys say the samething about the MMA guys, although who the hell is the Doug Maclean of MMA?

Camera guy told us that.

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#14 BBOil
May 31 2010, 04:08PM
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Anyone check out the Hawks cap issues lately. Just looked on capgeek and they are already over the cap for next year and only have 14 guys signed.

This plus the fact that we have numerous RFA's and picks, makes me think the Oil should give the hawks a call. Something like a Cogs for a Sharp or Bolland plus whatever pieces on both sides to make it work makes sense to me. We get a reliable NHL player with some jam at a decent price for years to come, they get younger cheaper talent.

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#15 RossCreekNation
May 31 2010, 04:28PM
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@BBOil

Can't see any way the Hawks move Bolland, Sharp or Byfuglien... at least til next off-season when Seabrook needs a new deal. Cristobal Huet makes 5.625 & Brent Sopel makes 2.333333... looks like a good bet they get buried in the minors next year (saving 8 mil).

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#16 OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F
May 31 2010, 04:32PM
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RossCreekNation wrote:

Can't see any way the Hawks move Bolland, Sharp or Byfuglien... at least til next off-season when Seabrook needs a new deal. Cristobal Huet makes 5.625 & Brent Sopel makes 2.333333... looks like a good bet they get buried in the minors next year (saving 8 mil).

I don't know man, their hasn't been a ticket near that big in the minors (Huet). Do the Hawks really want to have a team payroll in the 65 million range?

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#17 RossCreekNation
May 31 2010, 05:06PM
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@OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F

4 rounds of playoffs and the expectation of 4 more next season may ease fears of burying him. How can you justify getting rid of a key piece if you don't have to. Maybe they loan Huet to Russia & trade Sopel along with a draft pick for something.

To me, its the year after (with Seabrook looking for $) that costs them a significant player.

Bolland has clearly showed his worth these playoffs, as has Byfuglien. Sharp is an underrated key cog. If anything, that leaves Versteeg, who they basically got for free (Brandon Bochenski trade) as the guy that moves... wouldn't mind seeing him in Calgary ;-)

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#19 Ducey
May 31 2010, 05:14PM
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Ha! You are right on with the UFC call Wayne.

Two sweaty men wearing tiny shorts trying to "mount" each other. Yech.

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#20 rubbertrout
May 31 2010, 05:14PM
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I'm not the hugest MMA fan either. They always seem to let the fight drag out just one or two punches too long and I get the impression that someone will get hurt badly.

Of course I'm not as much of an MMA hater as Bob Arum who calls the audience "skinhead whites with lots of tattoos" and the fighters "guys rolling around like a couple of homosexuals". The fun begins at 4:20. It's funny to see such an ignorant old prick spout such hate and have no idea how dumb he looks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE_tsPatoBU

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#22 rubbertrout
May 31 2010, 05:31PM
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@Wanye

Oh Wanye you kill me.

When are you next in cowtown? My liver could use another beating.

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#23 rubbertrout
May 31 2010, 05:33PM
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@Wanye

Why didn't the NHL get a TV deal with Spike six years ago when it was desperate for content?

Spike TV is like Maxim for people who can't read.

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#24 OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F
May 31 2010, 05:45PM
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Wanye wrote:

Give them 15 years and an inflated sense of entitlement. They'll come around, they'll come around.

*pets hair soothingly*

Ya, I figured it was a $$$$ thing too.

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#25 Oil_Loc8or
May 31 2010, 06:23PM
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Good read Wayne props

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#26 Oil_Loc8or
May 31 2010, 06:26PM
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@Rosscreek I agree @Hemmertime you have the second best Name on the Nation next to mine

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#29 Hemmertime
May 31 2010, 07:29PM
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@Oil_Loc8or

heh Thanks. Its fun to say too, nearly every game I use it in people need to say it over voice chat for some reason. The few randoms who get the reference become friends for life.

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#30 Ryan14
May 31 2010, 08:20PM
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I thought that the Rake was actually pretty funny in his interviews.. You gotta think that he would be getting sick of answering the same question how many times in the same interview.

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#31 RossCreekNation
May 31 2010, 09:11PM
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Let Pronger have the puck's cuz he ain't gettin the Cup.

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#32 Vince
May 31 2010, 09:23PM
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Evo Morales is a Hero.

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#33 Vince
May 31 2010, 09:24PM
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Evo Morales is a Hero.

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#34 #EM
June 01 2010, 04:36AM
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*SCREAMS* I LOVE YOU WANYEEEEEEEEEEEE *SHRIEKS*

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#35 Rusty Duggan
June 01 2010, 01:04PM
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Ducey wrote:

Ha! You are right on with the UFC call Wayne.

Two sweaty men wearing tiny shorts trying to "mount" each other. Yech.

YOU DON'T LIKE FIGHTING? HAHAHAHAHA

Hey Wayne, Ducey, homophobes and other relics of the past.....MMA is here to stay....so get used to it. "back in my day we used to walk up hill both ways" yuccckkk...

I've been to two live UFC events, Dallas and Montreal and it was incredible. It was a great time with top notch people like Dana White running it.

When you write back Ducey....make sure to lawyer it up....cause I get a kick out of it. (student changing the world attitude of yours....lol)

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