PRONGER SUCKS CAPS WIN

Wanye
June 02 2010 03:32PM

OMG. Chris Pronger totally shot a piece of debris on the ice at Ben Eager. Someone call the United Nations! Call an emergency session of the War Crimes Tribunal in the Hague! Call an elite task force of Navy Seals to shield our precious eyes from this inhuman act.

Please. Give us a break. We couldn't be happier that the Father of the Year 2006 is down 2-0 in SCF10.

What a nerd.

CAPS WIN

Ah yes, spring is in the air. The lawns are growing green and lush, bees are buzzing, birds are trying to nail them (or such is our knowledge of biology) and the Capitals kicked off their home opener last night at Telus Field.

We can't help but love the poor Edmonton Capitals. No attendance, no press, no love from the City of Edmonton. Clearly they aren't the focus of Kay-Z and his crew of business execs and the HR policy for concession stand staffers at Telus and the Capitals staff seems to be this:

"Do you want to work for the Oilers? Too bad. How about the Oil Kings? Nope, you are way too slow to be working there. Don't worry slugger. We have just the opportunity for you down in the river valley."

We bought 2 hotdogs and 2 beers (for a piddling $12 beans we might add) and the hapless concession stand worker looked us square in the eye and said "I don't have enough change for you Sir." Rather then asking a coworker for change, he simply asked for the next person in line to come to the till, brushing us aside.

We looked on in disbelief as the next person in line was served and then casually asked "now that you have more change in the till, do you think you can piece together the $8 to give us our change now?"

He looked us dead in the eye for the second time in as many minutes and said "sorry, No."

(insert astonished silence here)

Luckily the Caps are far superior to their front office and concessionary staff and pulled out 5-4 win over Maui Na Koa Ikaika which we originally thought was some sort of touring Japanese National Team. A win is a win though and those Hawaiians didn't know what hit em.

POST GAME CELEBRATION

Last year every single event at Telus Field was followed or preceeded by a firework barrage that set off war flashbacks for every veteran soldier within 100 miles. This year - nothing. Now the nearby resident in us is happy that the firework budget has been scaled back but the overpowering Caps fan in us says "where the fireworkz at?"

We have a sneaking suspicion the Caps will be contending for the championship banner/trophy/gift certificate to Home Hardware at the end of the season.

Get them fireworks ready Katz Baseball Group - you're gonna need em.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 Maverick
June 02 2010, 03:38PM
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Capitals? Capitals who? SEGUIN!

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#2 BUCK75
June 02 2010, 03:42PM
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12 bucks for 2 beers & 2 dogs? Too bad it wasn't the same at the rink!

The nerve of him keeping your $8, you probably had to scour 40 dumpster to find those 80 beer cans to make the $8 tip he kept...

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#3 baggedmilk
June 02 2010, 03:47PM
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What Wanye didn't explain was that the concession worker doubles as the Caps catcher. He had no time for change, the next inning was starting and he had to run the show.

Mmmm multitasking.

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#5 Senator Theo
June 02 2010, 03:56PM
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badda, badda, badda, sa-weeeng, badda!

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#6 Cowbell_Feva
June 02 2010, 03:57PM
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I'm just surprised that the same people aren't arguing over the same thing....Hall or Seguin.

Blessed be the day when the Oilers get Blake Wheeler & change from Boston for the #1 pick- they take Hall, we take Seguin, and the endless bickering ends!

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#7 David S
June 02 2010, 04:00PM
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Whut? No fireworks? Why those dirty...

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#8 BUCK75
June 02 2010, 04:01PM
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@Senator Theo

I totally thought of this song when you said that...

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#9 Senator Theo
June 02 2010, 04:01PM
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@Cowbell_Feva

We won't be that lucky - the bickering will go on for years.

The only way this ends soon is if the Oilers pick one, then an anvil falls out of the sky and lands on the other one. That way there can be no further argument that the Oilers made or didn't make the right choice.

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#10 Tha Legion
June 02 2010, 04:07PM
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@Wanye holy crap the concessions were god aweful! sweet game though I spent it picking on the first baseman

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#11 BBOil
June 02 2010, 04:09PM
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So glad the Caps are back. Great place to go get drunk. Why go sit at a bar patio when you can get drunk outside for a reasonable price and watch a ball game.

During rain delays you get free popcorn too, and the beer guy still makes the rounds.

Really I think the only way to improve the experience (other than the concession workers)is if they had hot beer girls.

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#12 rubbertrout
June 02 2010, 04:10PM
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I miss the Cracker Cats. What a ridiculous name that was.

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#15 Tha Legion
June 02 2010, 04:36PM
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Wanye wrote:

Were you sitting near the first baseman? I was too - maybe we saw each other!*

*I was the guy sitting next to the pile of empty Coors Light cans.

I was 5 rows up in the bleachers and Nash was the closest player(googled his name so I could hate) was wearing a Laugh Shop Tee Shirt

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#16 Poo Czar
June 02 2010, 04:55PM
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The Caps do really seem to be a team for the people - cheap, disrespected/ignored, and conducive to getting publicly drunk and yelling. I can get behind that.

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#17 Pajamah
June 02 2010, 06:04PM
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BBOil wrote:

So glad the Caps are back. Great place to go get drunk. Why go sit at a bar patio when you can get drunk outside for a reasonable price and watch a ball game.

During rain delays you get free popcorn too, and the beer guy still makes the rounds.

Really I think the only way to improve the experience (other than the concession workers)is if they had hot beer girls.

Hot beer girls

Disgusting!!

~Hot girls delivering cold beers would be better~

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#18 The Towel Boy
June 02 2010, 06:05PM
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So, I'm sitting here in tears of laughter reading this article and its comments and my wife is looking at me like I'm nuts.

I pretty much lost it with the 70's action funk movie scene.

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#19 Shaun Doe
June 02 2010, 07:38PM
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Wanye wrote:

Agreed - It somehow seemed racist to me. Like if you were in some 70s funk action movie and someone said "Get a load of that Cracker Cat" and motioned to you in a pool hall, you would be forced to fight to the sounds of Earth Wind and Fire.

END SCENE

I could see that happening, but maybe with a few Blackulas thrown in for effect... you know since that twilight stuff is so big with the tweens these days.

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#20 Wanyes bastard child
June 02 2010, 08:02PM
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Man, Gary Bettman is an A$$hole!

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#21 Dave
June 02 2010, 08:27PM
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I sure love watching Betteman stick it to Ron Mclean

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#22 Harlie
June 02 2010, 08:33PM
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when I think of the CrackerCats I always think of Chris Rock in that scene in New Jack City where he is all cracked out

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#24 Reagan
June 04 2010, 12:13PM
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Pronger is hilarious enough said.

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