TEN YEARS: A TRIBUTE TO MY FATHER

Jason Gregor
September 29 2010 09:43AM

 

In life we celebrate milestones annually, but we seem to focus on specific years a bit more. First anniversaries, or 5th, 10th, 20th etc, they somehow seem a bit more important than a 6th, 11th or 21st. I’m not sure why we do this, but we do, and today I found myself doing the exact same thing.
 
Ten years ago today, my father, William Arthur Gregor, passed away at the young age of 56. Dad had a massive heart attack in his car at a red light in Sherwood Park, and like many of you who have lost a loved one; I can vividly remember my older brother, Colin, coming to find me and telling me the news. It was shock, devastation and complete sadness.
 
Wild Willy, a nickname us boys gave Dad, was a healthy guy. He didn’t drink often, had quit smoking and was active running the farm, but his number came up. The morning of his funeral I typed out an email to my friends asking for their thoughts and prayers, and releasing my thoughts helped me cope, and every year since I’ve sent out a letter in his honour.
 
For most young boys, your father is your first hero. He seems larger than life, strong enough to hold you up on your bike, tie your skates, scare the monsters out from under your bed and hopefully make you laugh and feel safe. Dad was all those things, but he was so much more.
 
If you never met my father, I can tell you he was one-of-a-kind. He had lots of energy and enthusiasm. He loved to tell jokes and stories. He was kind to everyone he met. He loved his wife, kids, sister, nieces, nephews, grandkids and, wow, he could dance up a storm.
 
He was the epitome of what a real man should be; strong, loving, caring, sensitive, stern when necessary and a fantastic role model. He put his family first and loved my mom unconditionally for all 31 years of their marriage. He asked her out in a post office, three weeks later they were engaged and four months later they married. It was a quick romance that blossomed into a long-lasting love.
 
The hardest part of dealing with my father’s death has been seeing the void it left in my mother’s heart. She is an incredibly strong lady who has completed her Doctorate, become a professor at the U of A and still runs the farm since his passing; but nothing will replace his love for her.
 
I consider myself blessed to have had my Dad in my life for 27 years. We got along great, had some tremendous battles in the farmyard and laughed a lot. In the past ten years I’ve realized how lucky I was to have him, but also what an incredible impact he had in my life without saying much. Dad was never a big guy to lecture and he only offered “fatherly” advice when you asked.
 
It was his actions that impacted me more than his words.
 
When he did offer his advice it was well thought out and honest. The shitty part about death is how final it is. I never get to hear his laugh, watch him dance with my mom, play with his grandkids or share a beer on a Saturday night.
 
And now ten years later as I write this letter my tears flow just as freely, if not harder, as they did the day we buried him. My tears are a mixture of pain, sadness, grief and joy. When I spoke at his funeral I didn’t want the theme to just be sadness and grief, and today I still feel the same.
 
It is amazing how someone I haven’t spoken with in ten years can still influence my life.
 
When I watch fathers playing with their kids, opening doors for their wife, or just interacting with their family I instantly think of Wild Willy. Most times it makes me smile, and the odd time I feel ripped off that I don’t have that anymore, but then I stop the pity party; because there are many who have it worse than me. I can say with all honesty I never once felt that my dad didn’t love me, and it is sad to think that isn’t always the case for others.
 
As the memories fill my head and the tears escape my eyes, I’ve come up with ten life lessons I learned through him. 

SHOW YOUR WIFE YOU LOVE HER EVERYDAY  

Three months after dad passed, I walked into the house and found my mom sitting in the back entrance staring at an ice scraper. I asked her what was wrong, and she started to laugh/cry. Every winter morning when he left for work, Dad would scrape the ice/frost off of her car and start it for her. Every morning she said. She couldn’t believe how much a small thing meant to her and how much those little things mean in a relationship/friendship.
 
Big gifts are great, but the little things are what keep a relationship moving. Remember to show your loved ones how special they are. Guys, I urge you to show your children the proper way to treat a lady. I can say with pride that my brother has learned those lessons well and is passing on the same lessons to his kids. My sister must have been watching too, because she chose a man who loves and cares for her and their kids as well. My father would be very proud of Colin and Eric in the men/fathers they have become. 

MAKE THE MOST OF WHAT YOU HAVE

You may have heard about Abraham Maslow, the famous psychologist, he created Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Basically it meant that people satisfy their needs at different levels. At the bottom level is the need for food and shelter. To further satisfy your needs you need to love, respect and so on. At the very top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs was something he called Self-Actualization. 
 
According to Maslow only a fraction of people in the world ever reach this level. I think he said it was only 2% of the population.
 
My brother and mother told me a story that leads me to believe Dad reached that level. 
 
Just before my father passed away, he and Mom were driving home one evening and he turned to her and said, "Pearl I never would have dreamed I would have so much in life: A loving and wonderful wife, terrific children, grand-children, and a huge farm. Life has been incredibly good for me," he explained.
 
There is no doubt in my mind that he meant every word of what he said and that he truly reached a level of acceptance in life, or as Maslow would say -- Dad reached Self-Actualization.
 
My dad made sure my mom always drove the new car, and he always put himself last. In the mid 80s when times were tough he went four years without a new pair of jeans. He didn’t care, my mom would stitch up the knees, but he made sure we could play hockey and that she was always well dressed. He put other’s needs before his and by doing so he felt happier.
 
He was a selfless man.

USE THE WHITE GATE

Dad wasn’t perfect which made him human, but he rarely held a grudge. When I was 15 I started to work a lot with Dad in the barnyard, and over the years we had some vocal sparring matches. He was a mechanical guy and could fix all the machinery, while I was more in tune with the animals. Needless to say we didn’t always see eye-to-eye in the barnyard.
 
He had no patience with the cattle, and I had even less when it came to fixing tractors so you can imagine how some days went. We never physically hit each other, but often our language was less than respectful. Don’t get me wrong, we had lots of laughs (more on that later) but there were days when we both reached our boiling point.
 
The strange part was at the end of every work day, we had to make the long walk from the barnyard to the house. There is a long alley way with fences on both sides from the barn down towards the house, and at the end of lane there is a small white gate. As we would walk towards the house he’d pipe up, “Son, I shouldn’t speak to you that way,” or I’d start with, “Dad I shouldn’t talk to you like that…,” we’d look at each other, sometimes just shrug our shoulders and say nothing or more often we’d let out a laugh.
 
Dad started this “tradition” by explaining to me that what happened on the barnyard side of the gate stayed on that side of the gate. Once we walked through the gate and into the yard, we wouldn’t discuss it. And rarely, if ever, did we. I still struggle at times understanding how we were able to just inhale, take a deep breath and move on. But to this day, when I walk through that gate I’m always reminded to let things go, and don’t carry an argument to a place it doesn’t belong.
 
If you and your Dad are struggling or arguing, find the strength to let it go. It won’t be easy, but if both of you agree to move on from it you might be surprised at how good you feel. If you are a son or daughter, remember that your Dad is much older and set in his ways. Be the bigger person and break down the wall. Carrying resentment in life will only lead to futility and unhappiness.
 
Here is a passage from a book I just finished reading, God Never Blinks, I think it sums up resentment quite well. This quote was from an unnamed minister.
 
“If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don’t really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you don’t believe it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate and understanding and love.”
 
You don’t have to be religious to try it. What is the worst that can happen? That it might work?

DON’T FORGET TO HAVE FUN

I could write for days recalling the conversations and shenanigans Dad provided for us, whether it was at the dinner table, outside, in the car or even in Church. Dad was always a character at the table, and he never took himself too serious; Hell, he let us call him Wild Willy.
 
Dad wasn’t Catholic, but Mom was so we went to church as a family. Church represented family time for me, rather than the preachy stigma some people have about it. I remember sitting in the pew at St. Vital church in Beaumont on many Sundays. When I was about eleven I was daydreaming in the pew, not really listening to what the priest was saying. As I stood up for one of the readings, Dad is beside me and when I’m upright he subtly gives me an elbow poke to the ribs. This starts an elbow sparring match that went on, secretly we thought, for a good ten minutes. Back and forth we’d try to give each other a shot.
 
Finally Mom looks over at us, “Bill stop it,” she whispers/growls. Like any eleven year old, I start giggling and he then gives me one last blow with a bit of extra sauce on it. In the car on the way home, Mom looks at Dad and says, “I don’t need four kids in church you know.” Dad looks at her with a mischievous grin and states, “He started it.” Well, even Mom couldn’t contain herself and she starts laughing. Dad had an unbelievable ability to have fun, even when some thought it would be frowned upon.
 
Don’t get me wrong, Dad took church very seriously most days. He got baptized in his 40s and actively participated in church, but he never lost his fun ways, even in church.

SUPPORT YOUR KIDS

Dad never showered us with gifts; instead he gave us his time. He was at every hockey game my brother and I played up until my brother left for the WHL. And even then, he and Mom would make many trips to watch him play. Dad loved watching his kids. He went to many of my sisters basketball, volleyball and rugby games.
 
He rarely gave advice, unless you asked for it, and then he could recall every play. When I got older I realized how much it went to me for him to be there. It is almost a subconscious support. When we are kids we look in the stands to see if our parents are there, but in our teens not so much. But even as a teen, it was comforting walking out of the dressing room and seeing him standing there waiting to drive me home.
 
Maybe it was the car ride home that was so great. We spent many nights listening to the legend, John Short, talking sports on the radio. We’d listen and then Dad and I would comment on what was said, or many times we would just listen.
 
One of the few times that I really missed my father was the night I drove home after finishing my first show on the radio. I had to pull over on the side of the road because tears blinded my eyes. How I wished he could have heard me that night, and even though I know he would have been really proud, I longed to hear what he thought.
 
Eight years later I still catch myself driving home from my show wondering what he’d say. Sometimes I close my eyes and remember the dark nights, driving back to the farm and listening to his views on sports and it warms my heart.
 
Remember to support your children. Those memories of my father make his absence much easier. I can close my eyes and hear his voice and almost every time it makes me smile now rather than cry. Leave your family with lots of memories and you will live in their hearts forever.

DON’T USE THE PAST AS A CRUTCH  

My Dad and his father never had a real close relationship. It was a different era, and my grandfather was a pretty stern man. He loved his kids, but he didn’t show it all the time. I never met my grandfather, he passed away when my Dad was 24, and one day in the barn, when we were laughing not battling, I asked why it was so important for us to get along.
 
He told me he enjoyed spending time with his son no matter what we did, and because he and his father were never able to share a laugh together that we had to make up for it. It was one of the rare times he ever gave me any “fatherly advice”. He said he never wanted to make the same mistake with his kids. He wanted us to be able to laugh with him, and even at him, if it was in good fun.
 
He said that we don’t always have to be a product of our environment. Just because he was raised without a close connection to his dad, didn’t mean he had to be the same with his boys. Too often many of us want to use that reasoning in our lives. While it is hard work to break those cycles, I am forever grateful that my Dad felt it necessary that he would. Life can be shorter than you expect, don’t let your pride, or fear, get in the way of making a move, or saying words, that show you care.

NEVER FORGET YOUR INNER CHILD

In this fast-paced world we live in now, we rarely stop to smell the roses. I know I’m guilty of it all the time and I try to remind myself to enjoy life and not worry how others will look at you. Dad seemed to live by that.
 
I remember a wedding our family went to when I was about 21. There were little bubble bottles on every table and the bride and groom wanted people to blow bubbles on them. Well, it was all kids out on the floor except my dad. He was in the middle of it, smiling with the kids, laughing with them and blowing his bubbles. He was a fun loving guy. My Mom reminded me of that story once and said as she sat watching him she fell in love with him even more. He didn’t do it to be funny or get attention; he did it because he enjoyed it. He was so great at having fun and embracing the child within. Many of us guys think we are too cool or too mature to do certain things, but I think we might be missing out on more than we know. And if it makes the woman in your life fall more in love with you when you do it, then the benefits are even more worthwhile.
 
Enjoy life.

SHARE WHO YOU ARE WITH YOUR KIDS

Whenever I hear an Elvis Presley song I immediately think of Dad.
 
Growing up in the 80s I was a big fan of heavy metal and rap. I know a strange mix, but that’s what I liked. Shout at the Devil, by Motley Crue was one of my favourite tapes (yes we had tapes, no CDs) and I used to listen to it on the way to my games to pump me up.
 
Dad never complained about the music, in fact he started to like it. But he made a deal with me. He’d listen to the Crue (seriously he called them the Crue a few times) if I’d listen to some of his music. He introduced me to Elvis Presley. He had the best of Elvis on tape, and I realized quickly why he was the King. That boy could sing.
 
When Blue Suede Shoes would come on in the truck, Dad would crank it up and we’d belt it out. I was 15 /16 at the time, and I’d never dare sing anywhere else, but in the truck with Dad I’d sing along. In The Ghetto is still one of my favourite songs to this day, and anytime I hear it or another Elvis tune I can picture Dad in our 1982 blue Ford pickup belting it out.
 
At the time I thought it was cool that Dad liked my music, but he also introduced me to things he liked. Buddy Holly and the Big Bopper were some of his other favourites and, while I’m not a music aficionado, I sure liked their beats and rhythm. 
 
Kids want to know what you liked, even when they pretend they don’t. We all strive for that connection with our parents, and once we reach adulthood it helps build that bond even more. Even though Dad is gone it still allows me to feel close to him at the most unexpected of times. Hearing a song on the radio by the King or Buddy or BB and instantly it brings a smile to my face as I picture him belting out a tune, or seat-dancing along to the beat.  
 
And when I hear one I still song it out loud, probably off key, but it is soothes my soul even when I’ve having a bad day.

PROTECT YOUR LOVED ONE’S FEELINGS  

The hardest and most rewarding thing in life is to love unconditionally. Parents seem to do it easier with their children than with their spouse, but when you work at it and commit to being loyal and supportive to your spouse it makes your life much happier. At least that’s what I learned from Dad.
 
I was around 23 or 24 one spring afternoon when I pulled into the yard at the farm. I walked into the house, but no one was inside. Dad’s truck was in front of the garage so I knew he was must be in the barnyard. I quickly changed into my farm clothes and walked up the lane to the barn. I yelled out his name and he replied, “In the back corral.”
 
I continued up the side of the barn around to the corral and there was Dad kneeling over Sinroy. Sinroy was born on the farm 22 years earlier. He was a red Arabian with a two-inch wide white stripe that stretched from the top of his head to just above his mouth. He was my Mom’s horse. He was born to Lady, a huge grey mare, and while we had many horses growing up, Sinroy was Mom’s favourite.
 
She quit riding him regularly many years earlier, but we kept him and rode him and Taco, a black mare, now and then. I approached Dad and realized Sinroy was in rough shape. He was 22 and he couldn’t get up.
 
Dad wasn’t a horse guy, but when he looked at me the pain in his face was evident. We knew what we had to do, and I went to the house to grab the gun. With one quick shot he was gone, and we loaded Sinroy onto the front end loader and took him deep to the far back quarter and buried him.
 
I asked Dad why he was so shaken up. We’d had many animals die on the farm, and had to put a few out of their misery, but Sinroy really bothered him. “Your mom loved that horse. I don’t want her to know what we had to do. It will eat away at her and I want her to remember him in a good light. We will tell her we found him dead in the corral.”
 
I never recall my Dad telling a lie before, but in this case he felt it was the right way to try and protect her heart. It was an innocent fib, that didn’t change anything meaningful; instead it allowed my Mom to think her trusty steed passed on peacefully. Mom has a real soft spot for animals, and she can’t stand to see them in pain. Dad knew this and he did make it much easier on her.
 
It might sound strange that a memory like that could have a positive impact on me. I’m sure there are better examples, but you never saw his face. He said when my mom hurt, that he hurt, and he always tried to soften her pain. (She never knew the story until I sent her this earlier this morning). Made her laugh and cry.
 
That is true love in my books.
 
You can’t protect your loved ones from never experiencing pain and suffering, but there are times when you have to soften the blow so it feels more like a pinch than a full shot to the gut.

MAKE SURE THEY KNOW YOU LOVED THEM

Every year when I sit down to write this, I am so thankful that I had no regrets or doubts that Dad loved me. I couldn’t tell you the last time he actually said the words, but he didn’t have to; his actions always did.
 
My father passed away on a Friday. The one thing I am most happy about is that two days before he died he called me out of the blue. Dad and I didn’t talk on the phone very often; we didn’t have to. I went to the farm almost every weekend and normally he would call and ask me to pick up something for him on my way home.
 
I remember his call that Wednesday night like it was yesterday. He just called to see how I was doing in school and how I was. We never had these types of talks on the phone. At the end of the conversation he asked me about my dating life; something he had never done before. He reminded me that family is the most important thing you will ever find and that I should take a chance sometime and put my heart on the line. Of course, I almost passed out hearing this, since it was the first time we ever had discussed that sort of thing.
 
After I hung up I remember thinking “what the hell was that all about?” I didn’t think much of it until he passed away two days later. That year my dad had "winterized” the farm early. I believe he knew his time was coming, and before he was to go he wanted to make sure I was doing okay.
 
That phone call has made his passing so much easier for me, even now ten years later. He went out of his comfort zone and wanted to make sure I was alright. I’m sure it was hard for him, because we never did that, but I’m so thankful he was strong enough to reach out to me that evening.
 
For many men, and women, it is hard to show emotion. Don’t let your fears get in the way of telling those you care about how important they are. You don’t want to live with regret if something unexpected happens.
 
I write this with the hope that through your actions my father will somehow know how much he meant to me and how much I love him.
 
If you are lucky enough to see your father give him a hug or just spend some time together this week. If you live in different cities call him, ask him how he is doing and tell him you love him. If that is too tough, maybe just show him this email. Dads go home and kiss your wife and hug your kids. Spend some quality time together.
 
Thanks in advance for those who follow through on my request. I know there are many who have lost their father and my heartfelt condolences go out to all of you. Keep his memory alive in your heart, soul and mind. If your Dad is gone, make sure you call your Mom today, because I’m sure her pain is much worse than yours.
 
Dad, I love you dearly. I miss your sense of humour, your zest for life, your laugh and most of all your company. Please watch over all of my friends, family and especially your soul mate; Mom.
 
Love your son, Jason
 
I leave you with this song from George Strait that sums up exactly how a father should feel.
 

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One of Canada's most versatile sports personalities. Jason hosts The Jason Gregor Show, weekdays from 2 to 6 p.m., on TSN 1260, and he writes a column every Monday in the Edmonton Journal. You can follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/JasonGregor
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#51 kp
September 29 2010, 01:25PM
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Unreal Jason, Your Dad would be proud and so should you.

Kelly

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#52 loilfan
September 29 2010, 01:26PM
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My dad passed away at 54 when I was 18 years old (first year of University). He's shaped my life more than anyone, and I can tell he's done the same for you. Great read!

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#53 Darren
September 29 2010, 01:33PM
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Nice Read Gregor...well said.

Your borhers name is Colin Gregor? When I went to university in Nova Scotia there was a Colin Gregor that played for the Axemen....good player. Same Colin Gregor?

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#54 Katherine
September 29 2010, 01:46PM
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Well little cousin, you say it so well every year. I miss your dad too. He was definitely a kindred spirit. I'll never forget your parent's 25th anniversary. Speeches were being given, you all cleaned up real well! and there was your dad winking at me, grinning and just being the truly happy man that he was. He was a corker! He gave so much love. And he was and is loved in return. You're a good man, Jason and your dad is smiling down on you. xo, big hugs, Kathy

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#55 Jazz
September 29 2010, 01:48PM
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Hey greger i enjoyed reading your article, thanks for sharing all your memories of your father, he seemed like a terrific person and someone that we could all aspire to be like.

Just wanted to post a link to an article i ran across the other day which deals with death of a father and the impact it has on a son, thought it would be an interesting read for you or others that have dealt with the lose of there father.

http://artofmanliness.com/2010/06/08/losing-dad-how-a-man-responds-to-the-death-of-his-father/

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#56 RInEdmonton
September 29 2010, 01:49PM
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Jason thank you for taking the time out to write about your father, and sharing your story It means a lot. Im glad and happy you were able to spend some great moments together. I also lost my father when I was really young but I guess I would say I didnt have the best relationship with my dad, and I I wished It could have been different. It always makes It difficult.

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#57 Tammy Forton
September 29 2010, 02:41PM
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Wow!!!! You, year after year touch my heart . I always take the time to read what you have wrote . It allows me to think about how much all my family and friends mean to me . Thank-you for always sharing . Thinking of you often . Hope you are well . You my friend will make and amazing husband and father one day .

The Forton's

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#60 Kaiser Wilhelm
September 29 2010, 03:33PM
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This is the second year I've read your stories about your father, and I appreciate it even more than last year. My dad and I have a good relationship, but we're too similar in personality, and clash way too often. Thanks for the reminder of just what I still have; I think I'll call the old man up. Cheers and God bless,

Will

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#61 Jodes
September 29 2010, 03:51PM
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Thanks Jason.Its been three years since I've lost my father to cancer. He was my rock, my hero and voice of reason when things would go south for 35 years of my life. He was always hard on me for many of those early years, but I became a better person for it.

I wasn't there when he passed away, and its something I'm going to regret for many, many years. The last thing my father ever said to me was "take care of mom". He was was the provider and always looking after his own first.

I'm so proud of him for what he sacrificed for us. My father was always the life of the party, drinking hard and enjoying life. But when the bottle started to take over and it threatened his marriage and his family, he quit cold turkey. Two years later he quit smoking, again cold turkey. The money he saved we were able to live a above average life and needed very little.

I could never thank him enough for doing that. At least I got the chance to tell him that.

Your posting is again a wake up call about just what we have around us, and for some we take for granted. Thank you again.

There are days though that I feel completely and totally overwhelmed with life, and even though I have people that love and care for me, I think I'm totally alone.

I wish that I could talk to him about it just one more time, because nobody else can understand, and he can fix it.. Hell, he's my dad.. he could fix anything!

I know that sounds totally lame but I needed to get this off my chest.

Thanks for reading.

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#62 MackOwens
September 29 2010, 03:57PM
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Wow Jason. Thank you for sharing this with the masses. Everything in this letter is so true.

I grew up going to Oiler games through out the 80's and 90's. Then we started to share our tickets with a very close family friend. I do not remeber the last time I went to the game with him, just the two of us. This season the person we share tickets with will be on vacation. I have asked and double checked to make sure it is him and me going to the game together. I have been so fortunate to go to so many games(400+) over the years, and the ones that mean the most was when it was me and him. October 7 is going to be a great day.

Cheers, Marcel

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#63 Wes
September 29 2010, 04:12PM
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Thank you for this article. I lost my Dad 3 years ago, and I honestly think Mr. Gregor and my Dad would have hit it off well. He taught me how to be a man, but I still have tears in my eyes. Thanks again

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#64 MackOwens
September 29 2010, 04:19PM
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Chris. wrote:
Protect Your Loved One's Feelings

Thanks Jason.

My Dad has an inoperable brain tumor. He doesn't know that I know about it. (Mom spilled the beans last week) He wants to spare his children the bad news for as long as possible; and to try and live normally for as long as possible...

I'm at work right now, and can't stop crying... and the thing is: I never cry.

I lost my Aunt 13 years ago September 15, 1997 to a brain tumor. She survived for 6 1/2 years after being diagnosed. She was diagnosed around the same time as Badger Bob Johnson. I try and visit her grave at least once a year. Couple Sundays ago I went out to her grave I dubbed it Almost a perfect Sunday.

Best of wishes Chris to you, your siblings your mother, your family and most of all your father.

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#65 yawto
September 29 2010, 04:37PM
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Lost my dad 8 years ago on Friday, Sept 13th. I know exactly what you mean Gregor. The thing that makes me most proud is when I hear stories from his old buddies I run into from time to time. To hear another man talk about my father in such high regard gives me the same sense of pride that I get when I watch my daughters do something to make me proud.

Truth is, when you lose a parent at such a young age (I was 25) it has a tremendous affect on you. While I sometimes fret about the things he missed (my wedding, his granddaughters, etc) I also appreciate the time I had. Like you said, many children go through life not knowing how much their parents cared about them and it seems as though you and I are some of the lucky ones as I have no doubt how much my father loved me.

As my family does each year at a memorial golf tournament in my Father's Name, a moment of silence followed by a beer in his honor, for your dad, my dad and all the others on here who have suffered a loss.

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#66 OilFan
September 29 2010, 04:45PM
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First great read Jason. Any one have a link to the game tonight online ? Thanks

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#67 Heatly
September 29 2010, 04:48PM
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Is this game on Bell tonight?

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#68 BK
September 29 2010, 05:05PM
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Powerful. Thanks for sharing.

"...a little TOO MUCH F-ing perspective!" David St. Hubbins

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#69 Bucknuck
September 29 2010, 05:16PM
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Thanks for sharing this with us.

Being a father myself (four times over), you can never be reminded too much how important your conduct is to your children. It brings focus, and I am sure my children will appreciate that.

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#70 OilFan
September 29 2010, 05:27PM
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Is the game on bell ? Online link ?

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#71 Milli
September 29 2010, 05:34PM
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My Dad is the reason I am here today! Now not literally, we all know that, but here, an OILER, on OILERS NATION. See as a Golden boy, a BC boy, god forbid, I could have ended up as a Flame or Canuck, the horror! But when my parents split, my dad went to U of A and me and my bro, ended up watching most glory day games at an orange juice stand on campus! Man was it awesome, and the few adult years I spent in Edmonton, the few playoff wins and runs, owed to him!!!! He passes at 50, scary. I think about that when I look at my kids, hope I'm around alot longer, but enjoy every moment in case I'm not. Cheers Jason, great read

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#72 Oilchange64
September 29 2010, 05:37PM
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Moving and very well written. Thank you. I have never posted a link on Facebook until today with this. Being an older guy (46)my dad has been gone for a while, and my sons are nearly grown. Makes you wonder what kind of an impact you have made.

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#73 Cam
September 29 2010, 05:55PM
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@Oilchange64

Thank you for your story Jason, not even a year for me and I miss my dad so much. Wanted to call him after the Vancouver game because that's just what we always did.

Tugged at my heart when my daughter called and said, "hey mom you watch the game, they were awesome!"

The tradition continues.

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#74 Oilcruzer
September 29 2010, 06:13PM
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Thanks for sharing. The memories are always better when shared. Your Dad is honored by your expression of the love and laughter that are a series of priceless moments in the times you had together.

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#75 Mr. Pederson
September 29 2010, 06:29PM
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Hi Jason, that was a great read. I'm sorry for your loss.

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#76 realistic expectations
September 29 2010, 06:35PM
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Wow Gregor, It is great to hear positive perspectives, we only get one shot at this life and it is people like your father who remind us once in a while how great it can be.

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#77 green jacket
September 29 2010, 06:50PM
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That was a beautiful read Jay:) I still have the letter that you sent last year as it hit home due to me losing my Dad!

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#78 Oilchange64
September 29 2010, 07:40PM
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Julio wrote:

We don't care about your personal life on an Oilers blog. Feel free to start your very own blog. You make me sick with your self righteous attitude. You think your the only one who lost their dad? You must by posting this article. Only a complete loser would post a sympathy article like this. Guess what dummy? It happens to everyone. Get over it.

I know a troll when I see one, but on behalf of everyone else, beat it.

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#79 Nick
September 29 2010, 07:51PM
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Well done Gregor! Sure your dad was special, heck....I hear you have a Massey Tractor! That's a smart dad!

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#80 Next up, is Connor McJesus.
September 29 2010, 07:53PM
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Julio wrote:

We don't care about your personal life on an Oilers blog. Feel free to start your very own blog. You make me sick with your self righteous attitude. You think your the only one who lost their dad? You must by posting this article. Only a complete loser would post a sympathy article like this. Guess what dummy? It happens to everyone. Get over it.

Milhouse....is that you?

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#81 dale
September 29 2010, 08:31PM
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jason- i know there will be other messages but i had to try to cancel out the above message. i seldom read blogs so thank you for mentioning the important date on your radio show today.i was fortunate and had my dad until i was over 50. my respect for him increased even more when i had to help him daily in his last 2 years and saw just how he had ordered his life. i think it was Paul Rimstad in a colum for father's day in the paper remarked that many people realized how much their dad learns between our years 16 to 22 but he was amazed at how much his dad had learned in the 10 years he had been dead!thank you for being so transparent. you have lit many candles today. God Bless You

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#82 Jodes
September 29 2010, 08:31PM
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Hmm.. still not able to post what I wanted to say.. Re-read it, no swear words.. Anyone else having problems posting?

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#83 coach ditka
September 29 2010, 09:25PM
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Wow, Gregor, you never cease to amaze me...awesome read...thanks for sharing with us...Prayers are with you and your family...Peace Out

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#84 The Towel Boy
September 29 2010, 09:37PM
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Jodes wrote:

Hmm.. still not able to post what I wanted to say.. Re-read it, no swear words.. Anyone else having problems posting?

I pulled some levers in the back room...it's fixed now, thanks for sharing. It's comment 60 for those of you wondering.

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#85 George Plouffe
September 29 2010, 09:38PM
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Great piece of work Jason. I met your pops when he worked at Martin and Black Wire Rope. He did some procurement among other jobs for them. He was truly a professional in all he did. We often met at Colin's hockey games in the Park as our son Dean played against Colin. Again nothing phased Bill. Never got excited and always preached fair play. A great man.

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#86 Trent
September 29 2010, 10:13PM
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Great read Gregor. I'm a new father and it's good to get a reminder of where we need to place our priorities.

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#87 mouthbreather
September 29 2010, 10:30PM
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Great read Jason. I got to know your Dad while playing with Colin in the Park. Awesome man. Cheers.

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#88 OilrHead
September 29 2010, 10:56PM
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That was frickn' awesome!!! Thank you so much for posting that blog!!!

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#89 Jen
September 29 2010, 11:02PM
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Hey Jason,

Amazing article, your yearly "dad" piece is some of the best writing on the site.

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#90 Butters
September 29 2010, 11:03PM
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Awesome read JG. The acorn didn't fall too far from the tree me thinks.

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#91 Craigchief24
September 29 2010, 11:05PM
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Awesome read. It really puts some things into perspective for me. I work in the same office as my dad we hang out and what not, more or less brothers. couldn't imagine losing him. My dad always tells me stories about his old man which are pretty similiar to your relationship you had with your dad on the farm. My eyes welled up a few times. Thanks for the wake up call, maybe im taking the time I have with my dad for granted.

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#92 Maverick
September 29 2010, 11:27PM
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Well done Gregor, very nice read, thank you for sharing. :)

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#93 drago
September 29 2010, 11:40PM
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great read, good to see you are doing well, drago

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#94 m@s f@s
September 30 2010, 12:50AM
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I've been torn between having-not having children with my wife, the love of my life. Thankfully we both still have our parents and thankfully I just read your heartfelt letter. You just helped me make up my mind. How could I ever pass up the opportunity to be someone's role model like that...my father did it so well for me. He still is. Jason, thanks...those tears rose in my eyes too. Cleaned the screen of my phone with em...now,onto my wife and the little things.

MF

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#95 Velo
September 30 2010, 06:37AM
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Late to the party...that's some good stuff. It's funny that a man's legacy is not how much money he made or what kind of car he drove. It's funny how it all boils down to character.

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#96 Boris
September 30 2010, 08:38AM
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People like Julio are exactly what is wrong with society today. Pay no attention Gregor, great read.

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#97 wyseguy
September 30 2010, 08:51AM
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I don't know you Jason, but I just gained a lot of respect for you. You've figured out what matters, thanks for sharing.

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#99 Harlie
September 30 2010, 09:28AM
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Gregor, I forgot to say yesterday that I think you would or you will make a great Dad one day. If your life takes you in that direction it is the most awesome feeling in the world and it is articles like yours here that make me proud to be a Dad and to strive to keep getting better and better at it. Take care and thanks again.

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#100 Sarah
September 30 2010, 12:26PM
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Jason,

Thank you so much for sharing the memories of your father. I am sitting at my desk right now with tears in my eyes. Sounds like he was a great man, and it makes me grateful that I have the father I have as well. Life is short, and you never know what's going to happpen, so it is so important to let all of your loved ones know how much they mean to you when you have the chance. My prayers are with you, your mom, and your whole family.

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