QUICK THOUGHTS: WILL IT REALLY END?

Jason Gregor
May 20 2011 04:33PM

Party like it is your last night could take on a whole new meaning tonight if you Harold Camping. Camping, a preacher from Oakland, California, is confidently predicting the Second Coming of the Lord. At about 6pm, on May 21st (yes 6 p.m in every time zone strangely enough) he reckons two per cent of the world's population will be immediately "raptured" to Heaven; the rest of us will get sent straight to the Other Place.

The scary thing about Camping, is that he isn't alone. Every day he speaks to his followers via the Family Radio Network. They own 66 stations across the States and they are funded solely by donations from listeners, and currently they have a whopping 120 million in assets. ( I thought the Nation rocked when we raised 2,000 to go sent Brownlee to the draft a few years ago.)

I guess Sir Wanye is going to have up his game to get more than three people listening to his "Wanye's world vision hour" Internet podcast.  According to Camping my chances aren't good I'll be "raptured" (whatever the hell that means), so I and all of you, because let's be honest, none of us fit into Camping's 2%,  will try to go out with a bang this weekend.

I'm sure chick magnets like Wayne, Baggedmilk and Jeanshorts will be running up to any girl they see tonight and tell her the world is ending so they might as well enjoy the best 30 seconds of their life in the back alley outside whichever pub they are at. Don't laugh, that might actually work; On the northside. 

There is no way the world will end tomorrow because the Leafs haven't won the Cup, I've yet to meet Olivia Wilde and there is no way the Big Guy has that warped of a sense of humour to not let Winnipeggers see their team return to Manitoba.

QUICK HITS

  •  I'm happy for fans in Winnipeg, but you have to feel sorry for the fans in Atlanta who never saw one playoff win in 11 seasons. Thrashers management, cough, cough, Don Waddell, cough, cough, did a horrible job of building a competitive team. They wasted many top picks and Waddell made some brutal trades. While you celebrate having another team back in Canada, keep in mind some young kid who loved his team will be losing them. That sucks.
     
  • I wonder if those who thought Vinny Lecavalier couldn't play anymore have changed their tune after watching him in these playoffs? He is injury free and can still dominate some games.
     
  • I'd take Kevin Bieksa on my team any day, but I'd like to see him fight a guy who actually fights now and then. Good on him for getting Patrick Marleau to go though. I'm curious how much the Canucks or opposing GMs think he is worth if he makes it to the free agent market. I can't see the Canucks letting him go, but is he worth more than $4.5 million?
     
  • The Sharks just aren't as good as Vancouver right now. I don't see any way they come back and win this series. The Sharks can't skate with them.
     
  • I grew up loving Stampede Wrestling and then the WWE. Sad to hear the Macho Man, Randy Savage, passed away today. He was a great character. Ultimate Warrior was my favourite WWE wrestler, followed closely by Axe and Smash of Demolition, but the Macho Man was great, and it didn't hurt having Elizabeth by his side.
     
  • I spoke with Chris Edwards, scout for Central Scouting, on my show this week and he said he'd take Ryan Nugent-Hopkins first overall. Two other scouts and I conversed over text and they also said they'd lean towards Nugent-Hopkins. Seems more and more people think he is the guy who should be taken first overall.
     

 ULTIMATE SPORTS FAN PACKAGE

You can win a great sports fan package and help find a cure for MS. I am riding in the 190km MS Bike Tour on June 11th.  Click here type in Jason Gregor and donate $100 and you will get an entry. Only 60 left. If you donate $200 you two entries and so on. The winner will win a prize pack that includes:

  1. Edmonton Eskimos season tickets
  2. Edmonton Rush season tickets.
  3. A beer fridge and beer for a year from Big Rock Brewery.
  4. A man-date with Ryan Rishaug
  5. You and two buddies golfing at the Ranch Golf and Country Club with BROWNLEE
  6. Expect some signed stuff, Oiler home opener tickets, other sporting events, and many more prizes to be added.

We will add a new prize every few days leading up to the draw on June 09th.

You can help MS and win a great sports prize pack.

Ddf3e2ba09069c465299f3c416e43eae
One of Canada's most versatile sports personalities. Jason hosts The Jason Gregor Show, weekdays from 2 to 6 p.m., on TSN 1260, and he writes a column every Monday in the Edmonton Journal. You can follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/JasonGregor
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#1 The 'Real' Ron Burgundy
May 20 2011, 04:42PM
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If I was the QB, she would be my Fist choice as Center!!

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#2 Archaeologuy
May 20 2011, 04:51PM
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So you're telling me the world will end in Toronto and then we get the Tape-Delayed broadcast 2 hours later when it's 6 here?!

God Damn I hate Toronto.

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#3 gongshow
May 20 2011, 05:06PM
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Longsnapper?

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#4 9 Inches Uncut
May 20 2011, 09:28PM
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I'm really starting to hate the NHL. McGinn has a chance to hit Rome in the corner. A dumbass that turns his back to the play and decides he'll put his face into the glass and now the Canucks get a 5 minute power play? No leaving the feet, no getting the elbows up. Just a plain jane check. I mean christ almighty. Hatcher used to paste one oiler a shift like that back in their playoff battles.

I don't know if the world is going to end but the days of good hard hockey are certainly dead.

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#5 buttermilk buscuits
May 21 2011, 12:37AM
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I believe in Jesus Christ, but there is one thing in the Bible that I always remember when I hear stuff like what that preacher is preaching.. It says, that He will come like a thief in the night..nobody knows the exact day that he will come back..

That is all..

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#6 Semi Moronic
May 20 2011, 05:31PM
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Wow. The world is going to end. Hmmm...

Positive #1 - at least we won't see the Canucks win the Cup...and then hear about how wonderfully great they are until the real 'rapture' (which may or may not exist) takes place.

Positive #2 - we will never re-experience the combination of "ELPH" and "Oilers."

Positive #3 - no more lame commentators like Weekes, Healy, Millions, Michaels or Maguire.

The only Negative - the man-date with Rishaug will never come to be..

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#7 Hemmertime
May 20 2011, 05:49PM
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@Ender

Camping

"Sorry guys, I forgot to add in the extra day from leap years."

and then he slinks away to a non-extradition country with enough funds to become Batman.

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#8 Hax
May 20 2011, 06:12PM
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Jason wrote:

Who is that woman?!? Wowza!! She does kinda have man hands and forearms however.

Rapture? 2%? WTF!! I can wait to see how foolish this guy looks on May 22nd. What will be the excuse...."ummmm well i spoke to the big guy and he thought he'd give us a little more time, he said he'd keep me updated."

Dude i didn't even notice if she had arms or hands!

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#9 jeanshorts
May 20 2011, 06:23PM
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"I'm sure chick magnets like Wayne, Baggedmilk and Jeanshorts will be running up to any girl they see tonight and tell her the world is ending so they might as well enjoy the best 30 seconds of their life..."

THIS IS AN OPTION???

*Leaves JS shaped hole in the side of the wall*

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#10 @Oilanderp
May 20 2011, 09:27PM
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Can one of the prizes be the addition of a negative props button to ON?

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#11 OILERSORDEATH
May 20 2011, 09:53PM
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YEEEEESSSSS!! SUCK THAT CASUCKS! It's a beautiful day

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#12 Puckbag
May 21 2011, 10:22PM
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Archaeologuy wrote:

So....its well after 6 and now all I have to show for the supposed rapture is the phone number of some North Side trash and a burning sensation when I pee.

I've had a slow month, could you forward me that phone number??

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#13 Truth
May 20 2011, 05:02PM
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@Archaeologuy

Nice.

By free beer for a year you mean as much as one man can drink, or a weekly ration. This is important. Not as important as curing MS though, I will donate anyhow.

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#14 Jason
May 20 2011, 05:04PM
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Who is that woman?!? Wowza!! She does kinda have man hands and forearms however.

Rapture? 2%? WTF!! I can wait to see how foolish this guy looks on May 22nd. What will be the excuse...."ummmm well i spoke to the big guy and he thought he'd give us a little more time, he said he'd keep me updated."

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#15 Ender
May 20 2011, 05:40PM
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Jason wrote:

Who is that woman?!? Wowza!! She does kinda have man hands and forearms however.

Rapture? 2%? WTF!! I can wait to see how foolish this guy looks on May 22nd. What will be the excuse...."ummmm well i spoke to the big guy and he thought he'd give us a little more time, he said he'd keep me updated."

I wonder if Camping's followers will accept that explanation when there's no immediate offer to return their $120M.

$120M. What the heck? How did he spin that? If he's preaching that the world is going to end tomorrow, and presuming he understands the whole "Can't take it with you" concept, how on Earth did he manage to convince people that he or the Church needed $120M? What was he proposing to do with it? Have a really expensive going-away party? Stockpile pet-food for all the puppies and kitties that get left behind? Whatever line he sold them, I bet it doesn't sell as well come Sunday.

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#16 Hemmertime
May 20 2011, 05:45PM
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@Jason Gregor

"Don't laugh, that might actually work; On the northside."

My new favorite line ever written by you, its funny because its true.

When I lived out of town I'd have to explain to people there's two Edmontons. There's south of the river, then theres the ghetto-side. West is kind of a mixture of the two. Most useful thing on the north side is Rexall.

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#17 Mantastic
May 20 2011, 05:49PM
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@Ender

prostitues are expensive!

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#18 Sheldon "Oilers Fan for Life!!!"
May 20 2011, 06:25PM
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This "Preacher" Is sure a charlatan(CANUCKS FAN) I read on CNBC about a pastor named Doug Batchalor http://www.cnbc.com/id/43054329 put his money were his mouth was and said to this Harold Camping dude I will pay you 100.000$ for your radio station licenses and only take possession after Saturday. Camping didn't bite. He knows he will be here Sunday. He is a Canucks fan for sure. Can you imagine if it really happened Anouncer; "the twins are in alone Henrick to Daniel, Daniel to Henrick he shoots he's GONE! were are they? What the HELL JUST HAPPENED! There are only 3 Canuck players left on the ice Luongo is gone too! = NO STANLEY!!! Seriously though the guy is nuts I read on the Doug Bachalor guys website and what he thought would happen made a ton more sense to me. OH WELL the Canucks may win it all after all. I guess one thing Camping said will be true He said if you are still here on Sunday you are living in Hell. If Vancouver does win it all we may well agree with him on that one as we will have to listen to Vancouver fans rave about their one year dynasty forever. While at least until the Lord really does come. MAY THAT BE REAL SOON! HOPE Doug Batchelor is right and it happens soon! PLEASE don't make me listen to another Vancouver Fan Rave about how awesome they are!

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#19 I tried it at home
May 20 2011, 06:41PM
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the guy who is offering salvation-proof, blasphemer staff only, pet sitting services for people worried about Fluffy while theyre winging thier way up to the pearly gates, is my new hero. Why the he77 didnt I think of that??!! Oh, and as a northsider, go foofoo yourselves, you latte sipping loafer wearing southside emo bois.

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#20 Harlie
May 20 2011, 06:45PM
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a big thumbs up to the football chick.

And the other thumb is up for the Druid Irish Pub. Easily the best background music with the bagpipes. In fact that commercial has got me jonesin again for the ACDC High Voltage album. Cuz it's a long way!!

..and my deck is bigger than yours.

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#21 Wax Man Riley
May 20 2011, 06:55PM
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Harlie wrote:

a big thumbs up to the football chick.

And the other thumb is up for the Druid Irish Pub. Easily the best background music with the bagpipes. In fact that commercial has got me jonesin again for the ACDC High Voltage album. Cuz it's a long way!!

..and my deck is bigger than yours.

Your what?

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#22 Wax Man Riley
May 20 2011, 06:57PM
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@ Jason Gregor

I'm sure chick magnets like Wayne, Baggedmilk and Jeanshorts will be running up to any girl they see tonight and tell her the world is ending so they might as well enjoy the best 30 seconds of their life in the back alley outside whichever pub they are at. Don't laugh, that might actually work; On the northside.

I grew up on the Northside, and trust me ... it doesn't take the Rapture happening to convince a Northside girl of that.

*Thinks back to the night he lost his virginity then then sobs while sucking his thumb*

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#23 Next up, is Connor McJesus.
May 20 2011, 07:05PM
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http://youtu.be/ByhReMvLvvI

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#24 LoDog
May 20 2011, 07:42PM
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Hax wrote:

Dude i didn't even notice if she had arms or hands!

Woman have arms and hands?

I can say whatever I want cause we are all going to die.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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#25 Oilers G- Nations Poet Laureate
May 20 2011, 08:28PM
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gongshow wrote:

Longsnapper?

Stop, my sides are splitting with laughter. It took me 5 mins to be able to read the rest of the comments.

@ Harlie.

My deck has a lifetime warranty

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#26 BaconWrapped
May 20 2011, 08:42PM
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OMG she's got MAN HANDS!!!! And look at that vein-y foream. Gregor, are you messing with us???

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#27 Skidplate
May 20 2011, 08:58PM
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Our balls are bigger. Her hands aren't that big. Besides what are you worried about? Something looking small in them?

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#28 Wanye
May 20 2011, 09:12PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

"I'm sure chick magnets like Wayne, Baggedmilk and Jeanshorts will be running up to any girl they see tonight and tell her the world is ending so they might as well enjoy the best 30 seconds of their life..."

THIS IS AN OPTION???

*Leaves JS shaped hole in the side of the wall*

Luckily I've built a long list of women I'd like to proposition during years of regulkar "surveillance."

*runs to find list, eyebrow comb and cologne*

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#29 Wanye
May 20 2011, 09:13PM
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Wax Man Riley wrote:

@ Jason Gregor

I'm sure chick magnets like Wayne, Baggedmilk and Jeanshorts will be running up to any girl they see tonight and tell her the world is ending so they might as well enjoy the best 30 seconds of their life in the back alley outside whichever pub they are at. Don't laugh, that might actually work; On the northside.

I grew up on the Northside, and trust me ... it doesn't take the Rapture happening to convince a Northside girl of that.

*Thinks back to the night he lost his virginity then then sobs while sucking his thumb*

LOL

Classic rapture sex joke.

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#30 sizedoesmatter
May 20 2011, 09:23PM
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Ok of topic but I want vancouver to win the series but this beat down is deserved for the all the media love in for the canucks and the luongo is the best goalie in the world talk

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#31 rubbertrout
May 20 2011, 10:15PM
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@Semi Moronic

If the Canucks win the Cup the world will have already ended.

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#32 Puckbag
May 20 2011, 10:31PM
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@gongshow

Line of the year!!

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#33 positivebrontefan
May 20 2011, 10:36PM
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Jason wrote:

Who is that woman?!? Wowza!! She does kinda have man hands and forearms however.

Rapture? 2%? WTF!! I can wait to see how foolish this guy looks on May 22nd. What will be the excuse...."ummmm well i spoke to the big guy and he thought he'd give us a little more time, he said he'd keep me updated."

She can manhandle me any day!!!

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#34 positivebrontefan
May 20 2011, 10:37PM
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gongshow wrote:

Longsnapper?

Tight end.

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#35 justDOit
May 21 2011, 01:00AM
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The NHL going BACK to Winnipeg? That's a rapture!

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#36 Next up, is Connor McJesus.
May 21 2011, 10:10AM
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I love my job so much i decided to come spend the last eight hours of my life at work.

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#37 Ender
May 21 2011, 12:24PM
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@Next up, is Connor McJesus.

Toronto is still there, and it's after 2:00PM EST. I guess they must have decided they had to have a say in when the Rapture was going to happen along with everything else.

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#38 The Real Scuba Steve
May 21 2011, 02:03PM
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Well, the Oilers do have the anti-christ as in KLowe so maybe it will end.

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#39 Sheldon "Oilers Fan for Life!!!"
May 21 2011, 03:33PM
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@Oilanderp wrote:

Can one of the prizes be the addition of a negative props button to ON?

It would be so much fun to get Negative props!!!

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#40 D Prime
May 21 2011, 05:38PM
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@Semi Moronic

Great post... If I won, I'd trade Rishaug for you on the "Man Date"....

If the Canucks win the cup, I may vomit... I can see it now... Look at us, we brought the Cup back to Canada... We're Canadas team... Blah blah blah...

Ugh... Stupid pot smokin' hippies in BC...

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#41 Archaeologuy
May 21 2011, 08:23PM
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So....its well after 6 and now all I have to show for the supposed rapture is the phone number of some North Side trash and a burning sensation when I pee.

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#42 CrazyCaptain88
May 22 2011, 01:39PM
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A great prize would be the ability to fire a CBC commentator of your choice. Bye bye Glenn Healy!! How is it that someone at ice level is so oblivious to what is actually going on in the game. Man is he ever brutal!

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#43 Archaeologuy
May 22 2011, 04:35PM
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@CrazyCaptain88

I think there should be a quota as to how many former goalies a network can hire to do commentary.

CBC keeps Hrudey, TSN keeps Pang, and Sportsnet keeps Garrett (maybe). Everyone else can sell Vacuums door to door, or whatever it is former goalies are qualified to do.

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