BUSINESS AS USUAL
Wanye
July 21 2011 06:16PM
A buddy text messaged us last night with a link to the video above. "Whenever you talk about running the Nations as a business we can't help but laugh knowing that you are a moron. We couldn't picture what it would be like until we saw this video of Kenny Powers running K-Swiss. Is this what things are like at Nation HQ?"
(Note that there are swear words in the video, KP doesn't mess around. It is also hilarious.)
Sweet sweet liberty. With Kent Wilson now running the show we are free as a bird again. Free to post blogs with Kenny Powers in the lead, free to post Smytty Omens and free to beg for cash like a common hobo.
MONEY NEEDED
With the addition of a full time Editor in Kent Wilson and the insatiable caviar addiction that has cursed Jason Gregor, you may see us trying to hustle up more revenue before the season begins. The Nations will always be free to all but we gotta get that paper if you follow our drift. We have been told that we need to make a plan to make money.
How do we currently make our money here at the NationNetwork? Primarily, we bet on Lowetide’s playoff picks with stacks of ill gotten cash each year. How do we do it the other 10 months? Advertising. Our partners at the Edmonton Journal would be happy to work with any companies looking to advertise on OilersNation.com in the coming year. You can contact them here.
The OTHER way to advertise on the Nations is to purchase some of the cheapest radio advertising around. As you may have noticed in our epic poll this week, NationRadio is quite a popular radio show. Quite popular indeed. If you were to step up as a NationRadio advertiser you would literally reach trillions of hockey fans each week.
And as an advertiser you know you will get at least one new customer because your ol’ pal Wanye will frequent the hell out of your establishment.
You operate a roadside enema stand? Consider us cleansed on the regular. You provide taxidermy for family pets? We will buy a pet and immediately put it down just so you can stuff it at top dollar!
We will not rest until every single NationRadio advertiser is sitting on a pile of gold coins so high that it requires one of those little red lights they put on buildings so they don’t get hit by planes.
Email us at wanyegretz@gmail.com if you’d like more NationRadio advertising information.
MORE SMYTTY OMENS
Our buddy TJ sent in the latest Smyth omen sighting since #94 has returned home. “I was driving home and I was stopped at a light and just had to take a photo and send it in. Not only the odometer but the trip-o-meter both came up 94.” The fact both thingies show a 94 is quite a scary thing indeed. The fact TJ has a car with only 940 kms on the thing is even scarier.
Well played.
Then our boy Drew shot us an email "I did a tensile test on some steel today and the ultimate strength of it was 949494Lbs and it elongated 94%. I further did some hardness testing and it was a heading of 94 HRB hardness. Followed by impact testing of 94 joules of energy and 945 shear with lateral expansion on 0.94mm
I didn’t think anything of it, until reading your article. I can send you a copy of my data if you want. Crazy eerie things going on here Wanye."
Steel made to the specifications of Ryan Smyth? Odometers stopping at 94 on the way to 95? What's next? The Mayor renaming Edmonton "Ryan Smyth?" Probably. We take this as yet another sign that Smyth is going to put the biscuit in the basket more often than not next year. Believe that.
As always, if you have more Smytty Omens send em to your ol’ pal Wanye at wanyegretz@gmail.com
FIST.
I can also offer my "live read" talents. I've written copy too, and many people who don't speak English felt I did a great job. My 30 second commercial for "Bob's Tire Retreading and Charm School" won the coveted Glockenspiel Award. No one knew a thing about the Taber corn guy until I made up that sign for him!
Live read. I'll make your business or illegal service famous!
Email Wanye (he doesn't trust me with the money!).
Like them Smyth omens..just entering Alberta now..lets see if i can find some in Calgary hehe
Hey Lowetide..just wondering if u have done radio in the past..just curious..your voice sounds like it was made for the radio
His face also looks like it was made for radio too!
*Runs and hides in the crawl space*
/kidding
Yeah, I've been in radio for 30 years (making me older than Wanye looks!). :-)
I was on air for 17 years and just recently (courtesy Wanye and Ross MacLeod the brand manager at Team 1260) returned to it. I'm surprised by how much I missed it.
lol. I wouldn't argue that, but will say it made me work harder!!!! :-)
If he isn't already one day wayne will be rich as all hell
I just got an oiler nation chub.
Hey guys anyone want to pool our money for advertising? We could just give the extra time to Allen? Or make pro Wanye propaganda spots? But seriously im sure we could do it
Did you actually take my comment about the avatar seriously Wanye?
I do like the new look.
We could use it to wish our favorite celebrities a happy birthday!
*In*
I just saw a Miracle Whip commercial where they literally talked about how much they hate Miracle Whip for most of the time. Can someone in marketing please tell me how I'm supposed to feel about that?
Do you see who I am and why I find this to be hilarious?
Is your avatar the kid from the Forest Rangers? :-)
Seriously? Wanye had an opportunity to tie Smytty to the idea of a hardness of 94 and 94% elongation in a perverted way and didn't run with it? I'm SO disappointed.
I wish I could be fortunate enough to have a smytty sighting
Putin never shot a 28 or raised giant rabbits.
It's a better look but the backstory might be weaker.
/waits for the ex-KGB to hunt him down for his insolence.
I think the Master at Arms was too embarrassed to admit that he himself had a hardness of 94 and elongation beyound 110% after he heard the news of Rypunzel's return.
Wow that Kenny Powers video made my heart melt. I want to be your Stevie Janowski Wanye.
Me and Matt Cassell just *^$#@@ you up dog!
CLASSIC!
Should of been:
Me and Ryan Smyth just *^$#@@ you up dog! (With a puck to the BlackBerry!)
That is some seriously freaky deeky steel.
*goes back to camping, fishing and drinking beer.*
LUCKY!!!!!
@Pilgor09
K-Swiss is doing this so well. Wonderful advertising campaign up there with the Old Spice guy.
My donation to the nation shall be thus: The Journal may pay you more if the links to their blog actully go to their blog. :P
I'm in on the advertising Wanye! If by advertising you mean shameless plugs of my Freelance Male Modeling for free.... since I don't actually make enough to pay for advertising.
....BOOM! Shameless plug!
GAME. SET. MATCH. = Riley
LIGHT. MATCH. RUN. = ARSON
OMG this article and videos just made my Friday. Kinda felt bad I was laughing my ass off in the middle of the office.
If the Nation doesn't have it already they need to have a article of the year award. My vote goes for this one.
Kenny F-ing Powers is the man. And he may now be my role model in business.
I've been on vacation; is Lombardi still crying in his pee filled corn flakes?
I am not sure of the legalities involved but I would like to see Oilersnation merchandise. Hats, cups, t-shirts....maybe even a jersey that members can have their name put on the back?
I don't know about the rest of you, but I know I would buy some stuff.
Think about it, you "FIST" guys can all get a #1 and "FIST" on your jerseys and then argue over which one of you had the idea first......but keep in mind it was my idea....ALL MINE!!!!
Not that I promote the fist, but I figure you are going to do it anyways, so at least you can display it proudly on the back of your Oilersnation jersey......for only $499.99 (us normal folks will only have to pay $75.00 :) )
I'm always saying we need to start marketing some Nation swag. Cups Tshirts. All kinds of stuff. The OilersNation needs to step its game up. Bring on the thongs!!
Hey Wanye, you interested in making some serious scratch? 1. Print up a T-shirt with the Nation logo on the front and a silhouette of Smytty on the back with the caption "The mullet returns". 2. Sell it at a wildly inflated price to every warm blooded human who has ever watched an Oilers ice hockey match. 3. Profit.
@michael
Don't forget about Team Gagner Pajamas...
"Do you see who I am and why I find this to be hilarious?"
Holy Toe Drag.Fearless Leader's a back seat driver? Enjoy the ride Kent Medvedev.
I think the Oilersnation should produce scratch and sniff t-shirts. No washing or it will lose its smell. Wanye can choose a new scent each month. First month I'm thinking Corona and Mustaches.
This would really give you the feel of this dirty website we all love.
I was beginning to wonder why it looks like a NASCAR driver's fire suit around here, BUT NOW I KNOW!
Wanye, if you start lobbying for public money to build a new ON, then I'll know you've made it.
#WanyeAndKatzSittingInATree
WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER.
I'd imagine Kay-Z would be sitting on the highest branch in the tree and I would be raking the lawn underneath.
Don't foget the baggies for the lawn cigars.
This article and even its comments are so full of win, somewhere a new galaxy just formed. Any rumours that something like that was probably happening anyway are filthy damn lies.