BUSINESS AS USUAL

Wanye
July 21 2011 06:16PM

A buddy text messaged us last night with a link to the video above. "Whenever you talk about running the Nations as a business we can't help but laugh knowing that you are a moron. We couldn't picture what it would be like until we saw this video of Kenny Powers running K-Swiss. Is this what things are like at Nation HQ?"

(Note that there are swear words in the video, KP doesn't mess around. It is also hilarious.)

Sweet sweet liberty. With Kent Wilson now running the show we are free as a bird again. Free to post blogs with Kenny Powers in the lead, free to post Smytty Omens and free to beg for cash like a common hobo.

MONEY NEEDED

With the addition of a full time Editor in Kent Wilson and the insatiable caviar addiction that has cursed Jason Gregor, you may see us trying to hustle up more revenue before the season begins. The Nations will always be free to all but we gotta get that paper if you follow our drift. We have been told that we need to make a plan to make money.

How do we currently make our money here at the NationNetwork? Primarily, we bet on Lowetide’s playoff picks with stacks of ill gotten cash each year. How do we do it the other 10 months? Advertising. Our partners at the Edmonton Journal would be happy to work with any companies looking to advertise on OilersNation.com in the coming year. You can contact them here.

The OTHER way to advertise on the Nations is to purchase some of the cheapest radio advertising around. As you may have noticed in our epic poll this week, NationRadio is quite a popular radio show. Quite popular indeed. If you were to step up as a NationRadio advertiser you would literally reach trillions of hockey fans each week.

And as an advertiser you know you will get at least one new customer because your ol’ pal Wanye will frequent the hell out of your establishment.

You operate a roadside enema stand? Consider us cleansed on the regular. You provide taxidermy for family pets? We will buy a pet and immediately put it down just so you can stuff it at top dollar!

We will not rest until every single NationRadio advertiser is sitting on a pile of gold coins so high that it requires one of those little red lights they put on buildings so they don’t get hit by planes.

Email us at wanyegretz@gmail.com if you’d like more NationRadio advertising information.

MORE SMYTTY OMENS

 

Our buddy TJ sent in the latest Smyth omen sighting since #94 has returned home. “I was driving home and I was stopped at a light and just had to take a photo and send it in. Not only the odometer but the trip-o-meter both came up 94.” The fact both thingies show a 94 is quite a scary thing indeed. The fact TJ has a car with only 940 kms on the thing is even scarier.

Well played.

Then our boy Drew shot us an email "I did a tensile test on some steel today and the ultimate strength of it was 949494Lbs and it elongated 94%. I further did some hardness testing and it was a heading of 94 HRB hardness. Followed by impact testing of 94 joules of energy and 945 shear with lateral expansion on 0.94mm
 
I didn’t think anything of it, until reading your article.  I can send you a copy of my data if you want. Crazy eerie things going on here Wanye."

Steel made to the specifications of Ryan Smyth? Odometers stopping at 94 on the way to 95? What's next? The Mayor renaming Edmonton "Ryan Smyth?" Probably. We take this as yet another sign that Smyth is going to put the biscuit in the basket more often than not next year. Believe that.

As always, if you have more Smytty Omens send em to your ol’ pal Wanye at wanyegretz@gmail.com

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 DJ Dynasty Handbag
July 21 2011, 06:22PM
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FIST.

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#2 Lowetide
July 21 2011, 06:24PM
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I can also offer my "live read" talents. I've written copy too, and many people who don't speak English felt I did a great job. My 30 second commercial for "Bob's Tire Retreading and Charm School" won the coveted Glockenspiel Award. No one knew a thing about the Taber corn guy until I made up that sign for him!

Live read. I'll make your business or illegal service famous!

Email Wanye (he doesn't trust me with the money!).

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#3 buttermilkbiscuits
July 21 2011, 06:47PM
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Like them Smyth omens..just entering Alberta now..lets see if i can find some in Calgary hehe

Hey Lowetide..just wondering if u have done radio in the past..just curious..your voice sounds like it was made for the radio

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#4 jeanshorts
July 21 2011, 06:57PM
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buttermilkbiscuits wrote:

Like them Smyth omens..just entering Alberta now..lets see if i can find some in Calgary hehe

Hey Lowetide..just wondering if u have done radio in the past..just curious..your voice sounds like it was made for the radio

His face also looks like it was made for radio too!

*Runs and hides in the crawl space*

/kidding

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#5 Lowetide
July 21 2011, 06:57PM
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buttermilkbiscuits wrote:

Like them Smyth omens..just entering Alberta now..lets see if i can find some in Calgary hehe

Hey Lowetide..just wondering if u have done radio in the past..just curious..your voice sounds like it was made for the radio

Yeah, I've been in radio for 30 years (making me older than Wanye looks!). :-)

I was on air for 17 years and just recently (courtesy Wanye and Ross MacLeod the brand manager at Team 1260) returned to it. I'm surprised by how much I missed it.

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#6 Lowetide
July 21 2011, 06:59PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

His face also looks like it was made for radio too!

*Runs and hides in the crawl space*

/kidding

lol. I wouldn't argue that, but will say it made me work harder!!!! :-)

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#7 prediction
July 21 2011, 07:05PM
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If he isn't already one day wayne will be rich as all hell

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#8 OilerLand
July 21 2011, 07:20PM
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I just got an oiler nation chub.

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#9 Zimmy
July 21 2011, 07:26PM
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Hey guys anyone want to pool our money for advertising? We could just give the extra time to Allen? Or make pro Wanye propaganda spots? But seriously im sure we could do it

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#10 rubbertrout
July 21 2011, 07:29PM
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Did you actually take my comment about the avatar seriously Wanye?

I do like the new look.

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#11 jeanshorts
July 21 2011, 07:32PM
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Zimmy wrote:

Hey guys anyone want to pool our money for advertising? We could just give the extra time to Allen? Or make pro Wanye propaganda spots? But seriously im sure we could do it

We could use it to wish our favorite celebrities a happy birthday!

*In*

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#12 Archaeologuy
July 21 2011, 07:34PM
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I just saw a Miracle Whip commercial where they literally talked about how much they hate Miracle Whip for most of the time. Can someone in marketing please tell me how I'm supposed to feel about that?

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#14 Lowetide
July 21 2011, 07:46PM
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Wanye wrote:

Do you see who I am and why I find this to be hilarious?

Is your avatar the kid from the Forest Rangers? :-)

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#15 Rob...
July 21 2011, 09:18PM
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Seriously? Wanye had an opportunity to tie Smytty to the idea of a hardness of 94 and 94% elongation in a perverted way and didn't run with it? I'm SO disappointed.

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#16 geoilersgist
July 21 2011, 09:20PM
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I wish I could be fortunate enough to have a smytty sighting

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#17 rubbertrout
July 21 2011, 09:45PM
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Wanye wrote:

Do you see who I am and why I find this to be hilarious?

Putin never shot a 28 or raised giant rabbits.

It's a better look but the backstory might be weaker.

/waits for the ex-KGB to hunt him down for his insolence.

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#18 fuck off
July 21 2011, 10:16PM
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Rob... wrote:

Seriously? Wanye had an opportunity to tie Smytty to the idea of a hardness of 94 and 94% elongation in a perverted way and didn't run with it? I'm SO disappointed.

I think the Master at Arms was too embarrassed to admit that he himself had a hardness of 94 and elongation beyound 110% after he heard the news of Rypunzel's return.

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#19 Pilgor09
July 21 2011, 10:21PM
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Wow that Kenny Powers video made my heart melt. I want to be your Stevie Janowski Wanye.

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#20 Roadhouse
July 21 2011, 10:22PM
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Me and Matt Cassell just *^$#@@ you up dog!

CLASSIC!

Should of been:

Me and Ryan Smyth just *^$#@@ you up dog! (With a puck to the BlackBerry!)

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#21 The Towel Boy
July 21 2011, 10:33PM
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That is some seriously freaky deeky steel.

*goes back to camping, fishing and drinking beer.*

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#23 LoDog
July 21 2011, 11:20PM
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My donation to the nation shall be thus: The Journal may pay you more if the links to their blog actully go to their blog. :P

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#24 Wax Man Riley
July 22 2011, 12:27AM
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I'm in on the advertising Wanye! If by advertising you mean shameless plugs of my Freelance Male Modeling for free.... since I don't actually make enough to pay for advertising.

....BOOM! Shameless plug!

GAME. SET. MATCH. = Riley

LIGHT. MATCH. RUN. = ARSON

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#25 Dman09
July 22 2011, 09:01AM
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OMG this article and videos just made my Friday. Kinda felt bad I was laughing my ass off in the middle of the office.

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#26 Dman09
July 22 2011, 09:05AM
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If the Nation doesn't have it already they need to have a article of the year award. My vote goes for this one.

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#27 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
July 22 2011, 09:05AM
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Kenny F-ing Powers is the man. And he may now be my role model in business.

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#28 freeze
July 22 2011, 09:27AM
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I've been on vacation; is Lombardi still crying in his pee filled corn flakes?

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#29 Souby
July 22 2011, 09:51AM
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I am not sure of the legalities involved but I would like to see Oilersnation merchandise. Hats, cups, t-shirts....maybe even a jersey that members can have their name put on the back?

I don't know about the rest of you, but I know I would buy some stuff.

Think about it, you "FIST" guys can all get a #1 and "FIST" on your jerseys and then argue over which one of you had the idea first......but keep in mind it was my idea....ALL MINE!!!!

Not that I promote the fist, but I figure you are going to do it anyways, so at least you can display it proudly on the back of your Oilersnation jersey......for only $499.99 (us normal folks will only have to pay $75.00 :) )

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#30 michael
July 22 2011, 10:19AM
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Souby wrote:

I am not sure of the legalities involved but I would like to see Oilersnation merchandise. Hats, cups, t-shirts....maybe even a jersey that members can have their name put on the back?

I don't know about the rest of you, but I know I would buy some stuff.

Think about it, you "FIST" guys can all get a #1 and "FIST" on your jerseys and then argue over which one of you had the idea first......but keep in mind it was my idea....ALL MINE!!!!

Not that I promote the fist, but I figure you are going to do it anyways, so at least you can display it proudly on the back of your Oilersnation jersey......for only $499.99 (us normal folks will only have to pay $75.00 :) )

I'm always saying we need to start marketing some Nation swag. Cups Tshirts. All kinds of stuff. The OilersNation needs to step its game up. Bring on the thongs!!

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#31 1983 and This Year
July 22 2011, 10:22AM
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Hey Wanye, you interested in making some serious scratch? 1. Print up a T-shirt with the Nation logo on the front and a silhouette of Smytty on the back with the caption "The mullet returns". 2. Sell it at a wildly inflated price to every warm blooded human who has ever watched an Oilers ice hockey match. 3. Profit.

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#32 Sox and Oil
July 22 2011, 10:24AM
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@michael

Don't forget about Team Gagner Pajamas...

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#33 gorby
July 22 2011, 10:37AM
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"Do you see who I am and why I find this to be hilarious?"

Holy Toe Drag.Fearless Leader's a back seat driver? Enjoy the ride Kent Medvedev.

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#34 JorgeR
July 22 2011, 10:48AM
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I think the Oilersnation should produce scratch and sniff t-shirts. No washing or it will lose its smell. Wanye can choose a new scent each month. First month I'm thinking Corona and Mustaches.

This would really give you the feel of this dirty website we all love.

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#35 David S
July 22 2011, 11:25AM
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I was beginning to wonder why it looks like a NASCAR driver's fire suit around here, BUT NOW I KNOW!

Wanye, if you start lobbying for public money to build a new ON, then I'll know you've made it.

#WanyeAndKatzSittingInATree

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#38 Skidplate
July 22 2011, 03:48PM
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Wanye wrote:

I'd imagine Kay-Z would be sitting on the highest branch in the tree and I would be raking the lawn underneath.

Don't foget the baggies for the lawn cigars.

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#39 Ender
July 24 2011, 04:02AM
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This article and even its comments are so full of win, somewhere a new galaxy just formed. Any rumours that something like that was probably happening anyway are filthy damn lies.

Comments are closed for this article.