WOW DANY HEATLEY

Wanye
July 03 2011 09:43PM

Get ready to have a good laugh Nation. There has been a trade between Minnesota and San Jose if you haven`t already heard.

According to the ever on the ball folk at TSN:

The San Jose Sharks have traded forward Dany Heatley to the Minnesota Wild for forward Martin Havlat. Heatley scored 28 goals and added 38 assists in 80 games for the Sharks last season while Havlat scored 22 goals and added 40 assists in 78 games for the Wild.

 

The Wild inherit the last three years remaining on Heatley's deal that will count as $7.5 million a year under the salary cap. However in real money, Heatley will make $8 million in 2011-12, $6 million in 2012-13 and $5 million in 2013-14. Havlat has four years left remaining on his current contract, with an annual cap hit of $5 million

THAT IS RICH

Oh hey Dany Heatley. Remember when you dissed the entire City of Edmonton - and parts of the outlying communities - by refusing to come to Edmonton despite the fact that a trade had seemingly been completed for your entitled ass?

Remember how awesome you thought you were and how the Oilers Brass lowered themselves to your level sending you Valentines months early, making you DVDs and other romance themed mixtapes? 

Now the Oilers are increasingly stacked with the finest young talent that finishing last 45 times in a row can get you. They are signing free agents too - albeit role players for the most part - at fair market values and are improving by the week.

They just signed Ryan Nugent-Hopkins to a three year entry deal. He wants to play here along side Jordan Eberle and Taylor Hall among others who have an outside chance at being correct when they think they might be a special team a few years hence.

And you just got traded to Minnesota for Martin Havlat.

THAT`S LIKE GETTING TRADED FOR MARTIN HAVLAT

This should show you how far you have fallen both in San Jose and around the league. Martin Havlat is a moody injury ridden talent who occasionally posts big enough numbers to warrant large contracts. You have only missed 13 games in the past 6 seasons and yet somehow have equivalent value to both your outgoing and incoming General Manager.

You went stone cold and invisible in the playoffs this year didn't ya Dany? Heh heh heh. Seems that was the last straw with you cause now Doug Wilson would rather have Havlat sitting in the press box injured for an average of 25.1 games per season (taking the past 6 yrs into account) rather than have your presence in the dressing room healthy wealthy and wise.

Nice work.

THIS PLUS THE OTHER THING

Man between this and Souray being passed over in the waiver wire like the incomparable POS that he is - it is becoming clear that Ryan Smyth returning home is starting to realign the universe as it should be.

Everyone is getting their comeuppance now and things are pretty damn fine around these parts for a fan of the back-to-back last place Edmonton Oilers. What goes around comes around don't it Justin Timberlake? It sure do.

IN CONCLUSION

Dany Heatley is a dink. Rot in Minnesota dink.

Oh and a big thanks to Archaeologuy for the pic at the top of the article.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#101 positivebrontefan
July 04 2011, 02:14PM
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One hundred big fists to Dany Fistin' Heatly!!!

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#102 Mason Storm
July 04 2011, 02:14PM
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Third page FIST YOU Heatley.

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#103 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
July 04 2011, 02:15PM
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David S wrote:

My god! It's full of props!

MORE PROPS TO CELEBRATE THIS FISTIVOUS OCCASION!!!

SO MANY FISTS.....

SO MANY PROPS.....

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#104 positivebrontefan
July 04 2011, 02:16PM
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Mason Storm wrote:

Third page FIST YOU Heatley.

HA HA!!!

I propped you anyway!

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#105 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
July 04 2011, 02:16PM
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positivebrontefan wrote:

HA HA!!!

I propped you anyway!

THIS HAS GOT TO BE SOME KIND OF PROPSING RECORD!

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#106 positivebrontefan
July 04 2011, 02:18PM
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DOUBLE POST

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#107 positivebrontefan
July 04 2011, 02:21PM
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Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement wrote:

THIS HAS GOT TO BE SOME KIND OF PROPSING RECORD!

IT'S PROPAPOLOOZA!!!

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#108 David S
July 04 2011, 02:23PM
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*Watches as the value of a prop falls to zero*

**Props everybody**

***Desperately unloads shares of props on E-Trade.***

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#109 Stone Hands McOsta
July 04 2011, 02:26PM
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@David S

LOL Nicely said....props'd!

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#110 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
July 04 2011, 02:30PM
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David S wrote:

*Watches as the value of a prop falls to zero*

**Props everybody**

***Desperately unloads shares of props on E-Trade.***

YAH I'D SAY THATS WORTH A PROPS, BUT YOU'LL PROBLEY NEED AT LEAST 10 TO FEEL LIKE YOU REALLY GOT ANY KIND OF PROPS FOR THIS COMMENT.

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#111 positivebrontefan
July 04 2011, 02:31PM
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David S wrote:

*Watches as the value of a prop falls to zero*

**Props everybody**

***Desperately unloads shares of props on E-Trade.***

I will be buying all your Props shares tomorrow as this may be the last good news we have in some time. I don't think the boys will make the playoffs yet next year so the props may be few and far between and I will be RICH!!!! Or I could just sell all my props to Calgary anytime in the next year and then I wont have to wait for the props value to go up when we need them in 2-3 years.

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#112 Stone Hands McOsta
July 04 2011, 02:32PM
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@positivebrontefan

For the record - this is in my top 10 fists of all time.

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#113 David S
July 04 2011, 02:34PM
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Pretty soon we'll need wheelbarrows of props to justify our comments.

My dear god, the great Props Depression! IT'S THE END OF DAYS!!!!!

*Runs down street flailing hands, runs into lamp pole, knocks self out*

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#114 Stocc
July 04 2011, 02:35PM
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FIST!!!!!!!!

Edit: Damn. Missed it by 112.

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#115 David S
July 04 2011, 02:36PM
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positivebrontefan wrote:

I will be buying all your Props shares tomorrow as this may be the last good news we have in some time. I don't think the boys will make the playoffs yet next year so the props may be few and far between and I will be RICH!!!! Or I could just sell all my props to Calgary anytime in the next year and then I wont have to wait for the props value to go up when we need them in 2-3 years.

You greedy, capitalistic b@stard!

*props*

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#116 David S
July 04 2011, 02:40PM
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positivebrontefan wrote:

I will be buying all your Props shares tomorrow as this may be the last good news we have in some time. I don't think the boys will make the playoffs yet next year so the props may be few and far between and I will be RICH!!!! Or I could just sell all my props to Calgary anytime in the next year and then I wont have to wait for the props value to go up when we need them in 2-3 years.

I already put a props buy-order in when the price bottoms out. The stock exchange auto-stop triggers should commence some time in the next 24 hours. A world-wide exchange meltdown triggered by greedy props traders.

IT'S AN ALL OUT BROKERAGE WARRRR!!! MUA-HAHAHAHA!

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#117 Ender
July 04 2011, 02:43PM
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David S wrote:

*Watches as the value of a prop falls to zero*

**Props everybody**

***Desperately unloads shares of props on E-Trade.***

The bottom has only fallen out of the button-prop market. Old fashioned text-props have still retained most of their former value.

That said, a little something from me to you.

*prop*

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#118 Stone Hands McOsta
July 04 2011, 02:44PM
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I. Can't. Stop. Props'ing.

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#119 David S
July 04 2011, 02:52PM
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Ender wrote:

The bottom has only fallen out of the button-prop market. Old fashioned text-props have still retained most of their former value.

That said, a little something from me to you.

*prop*

Nice. Thanks Ender. Although I must say this madness must stop.

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#120 c_tux
July 04 2011, 02:54PM
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You knwo what I'd like to gove props to?

Something related to prospects camp! I thought Robin would have something up by now but with all this fisting and propsing* I'm pretty sure he handed wanye his resignation letter

*wow that sounds dirty

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#121 Ender
July 04 2011, 02:55PM
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This would be an excellent time to launch those 'disses' (negative props) Wanye was talking about way-back when. We could practice for hours and still not dent all the props in this article.

Bring back balance to the Nation! Show your support with props if you want less props! . . . errrrr . . . . . hmmmmmm . . . . . yeah, that logic's fine for here.

*disses own comment*

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#122 c_tux
July 04 2011, 02:56PM
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c_tux wrote:

You knwo what I'd like to gove props to?

Something related to prospects camp! I thought Robin would have something up by now but with all this fisting and propsing* I'm pretty sure he handed wanye his resignation letter

*wow that sounds dirty

-11 props for those kindergarten level typing skillz

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#123 positivebrontefan
July 04 2011, 03:08PM
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Stone Hands McOsta wrote:

For the record - this is in my top 10 fists of all time.

It is a great honor to get a mention from one of the greats!

Many happy props to you good sir!

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#124 druds
July 04 2011, 03:28PM
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I propspose that this props crap stop....oh wait ...arrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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#125 positivebrontefan
July 04 2011, 03:31PM
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Stone Hands McOsta wrote:

For the record - this is in my top 10 fists of all time.

What is your top ten?

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#126 positivebrontefan
July 04 2011, 03:32PM
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positivebrontefan wrote:

What is your top ten?

Or should I say PROP ten?

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#127 pelhem grenville
July 04 2011, 04:27PM
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...karma's a bitch little d

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#128 Sheldon "Oilers Fan for Life!!!"
July 04 2011, 04:29PM
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I am getting hungry I will be right back as I always go get propcorn during this part of the movie.

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#129 Sheldon "Oilers Fan for Life!!!"
July 04 2011, 04:38PM
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Rob... wrote:

A BIOLOGIST?!?!?! You assured me you were a certified proctologist. I feel so violated. :(

I am sorry! I really am! Danny made me do it! He pointed his PROP gun at me! I should of earned PROPper degree. If you had been a PROPhet you would of felt the nonPROPer instrument coming your way. If I had been a PROPhet I would have seen your check would bounce. I suggest you go see Wayne as he is the only PROPhet on here. He can do you PROPer.

I am all proped out can we stop now?

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#130 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
July 04 2011, 05:24PM
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Sheldon "Oilers Fan for Life!!!" wrote:

I am getting hungry I will be right back as I always go get propcorn during this part of the movie.

This comment is pure gold, and for that I commend you.... PROPS!* :D

*But seriously... awesome comment.

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#131 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
July 04 2011, 05:29PM
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Sheldon "Oilers Fan for Life!!!" wrote:

I am sorry! I really am! Danny made me do it! He pointed his PROP gun at me! I should of earned PROPper degree. If you had been a PROPhet you would of felt the nonPROPer instrument coming your way. If I had been a PROPhet I would have seen your check would bounce. I suggest you go see Wayne as he is the only PROPhet on here. He can do you PROPer.

I am all proped out can we stop now?

If Brownlee will officially regognize this as FIST place when it comes to the most props given out in a single comment section, i'll agree to simmer down.**

**Yah as if Reuben is ever going to do that!***

***But seriously, if Wanye writes about the tidal wave of Props that have rained down upon the nation in the last 24 hours.... life can return to normal.

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#132 Obsessed
July 04 2011, 05:37PM
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When you say POS did you mean Patty O Sullivan or Piece of S#$%? I suppose close enough either way...

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#133 Butters
July 04 2011, 05:40PM
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Rumour has it Wanye is going to institute a props cap.

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#134 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
July 04 2011, 05:47PM
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Butters wrote:

Rumour has it Wanye is going to institute a props cap.

No props.

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#135 Oilers G- Nations Poet Laureate
July 04 2011, 05:48PM
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Props,Props,Props,Props,Props,

Props,Props,Props, Dany Heatley

Diss,Diss,Diss,Diss,Diss

Edit. I just put this "prop-fest" as my status on Facebook

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#136 Butters
July 04 2011, 05:53PM
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Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement wrote:

No props.

I have to get to the props floor. I will have to start overpaying for props.

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#137 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
July 04 2011, 06:02PM
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Butters wrote:

I have to get to the props floor. I will have to start overpaying for props.

Ok ok, this comment gets some PROPS!

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#138 Rob...
July 04 2011, 08:03PM
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Sheldon "Oilers Fan for Life!!!" wrote:

I am sorry! I really am! Danny made me do it! He pointed his PROP gun at me! I should of earned PROPper degree. If you had been a PROPhet you would of felt the nonPROPer instrument coming your way. If I had been a PROPhet I would have seen your check would bounce. I suggest you go see Wayne as he is the only PROPhet on here. He can do you PROPer.

I am all proped out can we stop now?

Are you sure that Wanye isn't a PROPtologist now? I hear he tried proctology once, but lost his license. Something about his patient turned around to find a 14 taped to his back, and Wanye with his eyes closed saying 'Jordan, oh Jordan'.

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#139 pelhem grenville
July 04 2011, 08:31PM
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... ok i'm calling the Guinness people

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#140 Dog Train
July 04 2011, 09:32PM
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Trading Ryan Smyth was bad karma. Bringing him back is good karma. It all makes sense now.

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