PHOTOSHOP III VOTIN' AND SMYTH OMEN

Wanye
September 19 2011 11:17AM

With the Joey Moss Cup in the history books, each passing day brings us closer to the start of the 2011-12 NHL season. As Oilers fans we are quickly filling with irrational levels of exuberance to the point that many of us actually believe the Oilers are overstocked with talent - particularly in the forward corps.

This golden period of annual late summer hope also gives us a chance to take pause and judge the many things that have gone right for the Oilers in the last while. Think things are dire coming off back to back 30th place finishes? What if we were all sitting around wondering if ol' Tom Vanek or Dan Heatley would get off their gargantuan wallets and snipe a few for the home team this year?

Yikes.

BONSIGNORE STATUE

If you missed the epic interview with Jason Bonsignore we heartily suggest you give it a listen over at Jason Gregor's website. Imagine if he and Sather had been able to work out their numerous differences? Imagine it was Bonsignore not Smyth currently returning home to Rexall Place amid the standing ovations at every opportunity?

It boggles the mind.

DUBNYK FIGURES IT OUT

Devan Dubnyk has his many supporters who believe that the tall drink of water has what it takes to be a successful starting goalie in the NHL. We personally believe that this talk is 45 kinds of crazy and that the entry above correctly captures DD's career.

Having said all of that he did post respectable numbers last season on an injury riddled Oilers squadron and September is about hope, not reality.

PENNER LOVE HOT DOGZ

Dustin Penner is starting to take a lot of heat in Los Angeles and the picture above can suggest why. Look at him go! Penner loves hot dogz and don't care who knows. Classic entry here.

LAUREN PRONG-ZILLA

Fact: Lauren Pronger has lovely blonde hair. Fact: Lauren Pronger would have levelled downtown Edmonton had her husband not been traded in the Summer of 2006. This entry is right on point thinking Prong-Zilla would make a bee line for the Hotel MacDonald, with the Telus Building taking a load of flame right to the upper floors.

SCHLEP BROS

Could you imagine if Dany Heatley posted his 2010-11 numbers with the Oilers? Could there be a more hated signing for the faithful of the local hockey squadron? Could there be a more fetching argyle sweater model than Thomas Vanek?

Luckily these aren't our problems in E-town and we can simply laugh at the very photoshopped idea, all the while secretly thanking the Gods of Hockey that neither of these deals materialized.

VOTE! VOTE!

The winner of this fine photoshop contest will receive a catered lunch for 10 from the good folks at Oodle Noodle. So we would heartily suggest voting in your home or place of business and then carefully breaking into your neighbour's house later in the evening to vote a second time.

It's not a crime if you are trying to get someone a free lunch for mocking Dustin Penner or Thomas Vanek. We know this for a fact.

SMYTH OMEN

Our main man Oil Fan for Life sent us the tastiest Smyth Omen to date noting that "It's Halloween in Safeway. Also, Smyth loves Halloween. Also, Stanley will return. If 94 little chocolatey treats doesn't prove that fact then not much else can."

This is the kind of logic we wouldn't dare argue with. Not even for a minute. Everyone should follow this wise sage on twitter at @cartooncolin to see if he dispenses any other rock solid predictions. We did.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#1 rds
September 19 2011, 11:21AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

I vote for Penner with the wiener in his fist

Avatar
#2 Talbot17
September 19 2011, 11:23AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

LMAO at Penner, funny thing is I would not be schocked if that was his real dream

Avatar
#3 UHOH
September 19 2011, 11:23AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

NO SIR

Avatar
#4 Woogie
September 19 2011, 11:24AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

PENNER LOVE HOT DOGZ

Avatar
#5 Archaeologuy
September 19 2011, 11:28AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I voted for Ike!

Avatar
#6 Charlie Huddy
September 19 2011, 11:30AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Penner, classic!

Avatar
#7 Brew46
September 19 2011, 11:31AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

penner loves hot dogs is classic!

Avatar
#8 OvenChicken8 - Team JSBM
September 19 2011, 11:34AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Real pictures should be disqualified, thus Penner's doesn't count!

BTW I vote for Penner.

Avatar
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I will forever lose all faith in humanity if the brilliant creator of Dog Lovin' Penner doesn't get to indulge in the accolades of his Oddle Noodle lovin', face-stuffing fellow employees. Period.

- Not the creator

Avatar
#10 John Chambers
September 19 2011, 11:39AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

I vote for Ryan Smyth chocolate bars! 94 kinds of mullety delicious.

Avatar
#11 TonyDanzaPervo
September 19 2011, 11:40AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Isn't thank Khabby in the picture? Doesn't that mean DD IS a good goalie & Khabby is terrible by letting so many pucks in? I never claimed to be any sorta intelligent, but I don't get it.

Avatar
#12 bigrroberto
September 19 2011, 11:41AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Penner ftw

Avatar
#13 T.C.
September 19 2011, 11:47AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

oscar meyer penner

Avatar
#14 Jeff Weatherhead
September 19 2011, 11:53AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Penner all the way bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!

Avatar
#15 Travis Dakin
September 19 2011, 11:57AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Far and away, the best one is the Penner one. Flawless photoshopping there. Pure gold.

Avatar
#16 Clyde Frog
September 19 2011, 12:03PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Penner #1!

Avatar
#17 Truth
September 19 2011, 12:04PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Penner

Avatar
#19 book¡e
September 19 2011, 12:18PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Penner is the best by far in my books, However, I am pretty sure that my Gary Coleman picture was second best, but was kept out of the finals by a conspiracy that runs from the highest levels of the OilersNation organization down to the smallest poster.

Take this as fair warning. I am going to hunt you corrupt bastards down and break this organization down from the inside à la Tom Cruise in the Firm (wow, that movie is almost 20 years old - I feel old now).

That Penner picture is gold though, seriously gold! Brilliant!

Avatar
#20 Hemmertime
September 19 2011, 12:38PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

Penner. The entry shows Skillz

Avatar
#21 positivebrontefan
September 19 2011, 12:57PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

It's a runaway!!!

To bad Penner himself is to fat to run away or we may have kept him...

Avatar
#22 Sheldon "Oilers Fan for Life!!!"
September 19 2011, 01:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Penner!!!

Avatar
#23 David S
September 19 2011, 01:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Yeah. Penner.

*Looks up at sky, slams -balled hand- on desk, grabs bottle of booze from "secret desk compartment", pours stiff drink and starts reading Photoshop for Dummies in advance preparation for Photoshop IV.*

Avatar
#24 David S
September 19 2011, 01:24PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
David S wrote:

Yeah. Penner.

*Looks up at sky, slams -balled hand- on desk, grabs bottle of booze from "secret desk compartment", pours stiff drink and starts reading Photoshop for Dummies in advance preparation for Photoshop IV.*

I will NOT utter "that" word.

Avatar
#26 David S
September 19 2011, 02:03PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Wanye wrote:

Now its a different pic?

*looks to the horizon wondering if it was all a dream*

[EDIT] Well this is awkward. It appears I am the latest victim of the infamous "double post".

Avatar
#27 David S
September 19 2011, 02:05PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Wanye wrote:

Now its a different pic?

*looks to the horizon wondering if it was all a dream*

Oh those Dakins. They like to mess with your mind.

#MindGames

Avatar
#29 pelhem grenville
September 19 2011, 02:58PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

mmmmmmmmm...tube steaks...

Avatar
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
David S wrote:

Yeah. Penner.

*Looks up at sky, slams -balled hand- on desk, grabs bottle of booze from "secret desk compartment", pours stiff drink and starts reading Photoshop for Dummies in advance preparation for Photoshop IV.*

I, too, am aroused... err... inspired! I will shop the sh*t of the next photo contest!

Wanye, how long do David and I have?

Avatar
#31 borisnikov
September 19 2011, 04:45PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

vote penner

Avatar
#32 Oodle Noodle Downtown
September 19 2011, 05:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Oodle Noodle Downtown loves Penner

Avatar
#35 michael
September 19 2011, 05:17PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Penner. Could play the idiot on the 2011 version of the Beverly Hill Billy's.

Avatar
#36 michael
September 19 2011, 05:18PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Penner. Could play the idiot on the 2011 version of the Beverly Hill Billy's.Or the space alien from MIB.

Avatar
#37 Lowetide
September 19 2011, 07:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Well the Penner one is beyond great.

Avatar
#38 Kevin S
September 19 2011, 10:32PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

While I had to vote for the Penner one for obvious reasons, runner up in my eyes is the Bosignore statue, just hilarious and not getting enough respect in the vote. And Schlep brothers! Lol they're all good you guys rock.

Avatar
#39 Dog Train
September 19 2011, 10:56PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Had to go with Penner loves hot dogs. Classic!

Avatar
#40 Oilcruzer
September 20 2011, 12:21AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
rds wrote:

I vote for Penner with the wiener in his fist

Well played.

Also vote for Dusty Weiners

Avatar
#41 DDP
September 20 2011, 08:18AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Penner....that's pure gold!

Avatar
#42 Bydd
September 20 2011, 11:24AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Lauren Pronger, only because my floor @ the Telus building is on fire.

Avatar
#43 Wäx Män Riley
September 20 2011, 03:56PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Kevin S wrote:

While I had to vote for the Penner one for obvious reasons, runner up in my eyes is the Bosignore statue, just hilarious and not getting enough respect in the vote. And Schlep brothers! Lol they're all good you guys rock.

Schlep Brothers lol.....

"From the guys who ALMOST brought you Marion Hossa"

Hilarious.

But I voted for Hot dogzzzzzz

Comments are closed for this article.