3 THINGIES

Wanye
November 08 2012 02:11PM

Whats more fun than all of the perpetual Lockout news and the Edmonton Arena losing all momentum and grinding to a halt? How about Jordan Eberle trade rumours?

*facepalms so hard his head pops off his shoulders and rolls to OKC*

MORE LOCKOUT

With the lockout in its 734th day, tales of meetings going late into the night between the NHL and the NHLPA hang in the snow filled winter air. That the two sides are meeting is good news. That they have taken a break from besmirching the other's reputation in the media is good news too. 

With most of the high priced fellas almost immediately plying their trade for different teams world wide we can't help but feel for the grinders and role players that have been booted from the NHL and are unable to find a gig during the lockout.  These chaps aren't exactly rolling in the dough and given their relatively short shelf life in the NHL this work stoppage is making a major dent in both their careers and their finances for the rest of their lives.

This thing needs to get wrapped up for the good of the guys suffering the most. The glue guys, the grinders. The players that sit next to the multi-millionaires in the dressing room all year long but live in a completely different financial world. The Lockout cannot drag into 2013.

EBERLE TRADE RUMOURS

 

Our computer almost crashed typing in the headline above. For the first time in his Super Studlian career Jordan Eberle trade rumour whispers have surfaced over the past several days. Blame Bob Stauffer and his "something big is going to happen" rant awhile back. Blame the extreme bordom suffered by Oilers fans all around the world. Blame morons who can conceive of a situation where the one day C14 should play for anyone but the Copper and Blue.

Whatever the case we have started to see these rumours cropping up on the tweet tweets and on some blogs around the web. As a guy voted "most likely to be arrested stalking Jordan Eberle" in our imaginary High School yearbook we have been asked what we would do should 14 get dealt. We cannot even allow our working seven brain cells to ponder this matter. Not during the lockout. Not with the arena deal all but stopped in its tracks. It's all too much.

Suffice to say that Jordan Leslie Eberle must not ever, ever, EVER be traded from the Oilers. Trade Hall and Yakupov if you must. Send the Nuge back to Pee Wee if we are looking for ways to work with a lower salary cap. But trading Eberle would be tatamount to one of the greater acts of stupidity by a franchise seemingly able to cock things up at will.

If Eberle was to be traded we can't help but shudder at what our own rage would cook up as an act of revenge. It would be considerable.

FUN IN #YEG

We have taken a 10 day in City vacation due to the arrival of the legendary Sam Brown from the Morningside Panthers at Wanye Manor. For someone who is supposed to already be in San Francisco enjoying a long sober month of computer nerdery we have been decidedly less productive than we had originally intended.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step - and sometimes that first step is delayed while you tour around with your Australian buddy during Snowfall 2012" -Lao-tzu. Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

To properly execute an in City vacation we are running completely dark - phone off, introducing ourselves as "not being from here" to people in conversation and hitting up the hotspots on a nightly basis. It has been a wicked week touring ol' Sambo from Donair shop to pub to nightclub and back again.

For anyone who hasn't spent a few days treating their hometown like they are on the road and seeing Edmonton (or wherever you may call home) through the eyes of a tourist we highly recommend it. It puts the City in perspective and all too often we sit about saying "there is nothing to do" on 300 nights of the year. In fact there are a lot of things to do every day in Edmonton if you look for it.

We are having a blast.

As no good guys out on the town 24/7 we should mention that Oil City Roadhouse is reborn tonight as Knoxville's Tavern on Jasper Avenue. It's a brand new joint - a more upscale version of Oil City - but still promises to provide ample space for the ladies of Edmonton to line up to pitch woo at whatever Oilers may be in the place on any given night.

We have wandered around in the room as it has been under lightning fast construction and it looks pretty sweet we have to say. We will definitely be in the house tonight.

Should you want to attend the grand opening and want a legit "get past the line no matter what the line is" ticket - click here.

See you at the CFR!

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#5 ItsTheBGB
November 08 2012, 02:33PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
5
props

Just type, a comment and hit "Post Comment".

Avatar
#6 Rocket
November 08 2012, 08:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
3
props

Today on his show Dan Tencer said he was reading tweets by Canucks fans and how they were complaining that Eberle was not enough to get Luongo out of Vancouver and how it would be a bad deal for the Cunucks.

That B.C. green must be some powerful stuff.

Avatar
#7 Gerald R. Ford
November 08 2012, 08:34PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
2
props

Well, that's it. They'll trade him on December 21st, and the world WILL end immediately. Then a bunch of Mayans wearing 14 jerseys will materialize out of thin air, mock our smoldering corpses, and gleefully exclaim "Scoreboard, biatchezz!". This they will, of course, say in Mayanese, not English, but the gesturing will get the point across to anyone not quite dead yet.

Avatar
#8 Archaeologuy
November 08 2012, 02:37PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

Oh, you arent from here? Let me buy you some Swiss Donair. You're gonna love it.

Avatar
#9 Nicktron
November 08 2012, 04:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

Seeing as I've apparently been living under a rock lately, what are the rumors going around right now involving Eberle? Thanks in advance!

Avatar
#10 The Soup Fascist
November 08 2012, 04:12PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

@Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement

"FISTers are taking over the world."

Granted, I have been not been part of the singles bar scene for awhile, but I am not sure I would use that as my "go to" pickup line at Knoxville's Tavern ....

*Assuming Knoxville's is not an "alternative lifestyle" establishment.

** If it is actually an alternative lifestyle bar, conversely, that could be the best pickup line ever.

Avatar
#11 jonnyquixote
November 08 2012, 04:48PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

I think these rumors had their genesis in an idiot Tony Gallagher throwaway line. Nothing to see here.

(Though on the list of Oilers untouchables, Hall must be at the very top. The most valuable of the most valuable.)

Avatar
#12 -30-
November 08 2012, 08:12PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

Very mainstream media of you Wanye. They've been doing this sort of thing for years and years.

When there is no real news happening, the way you get people to buy your product or to get click thrus on a webpage is to manufacture the news.

Really very funny. LOL Eberle traded. hahaha

How many clicks will this un-new item get?

Avatar
#13 Wanyes bastard child
November 08 2012, 08:28PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props
Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement wrote:

Who said anything about a pick up line? I was simple stating fact, ask David S... even he knows.

David Staples knows about the FIST movement!?!? Wow your getting huge.*

*thats what she said

Avatar
#14 TeddyTurnbuckle
November 08 2012, 09:39PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

No way they trade eberle. Not even worth talking about. It's just Canuck fans dreaming up a luongo trade on twitter. No substance to it what so ever. Tencer said tonight that he traced the tweet back to Canuck fans and the best part of the rumour was that some people actually thought it was a bad deal for the Canucks.

Avatar
#15 kgo
November 08 2012, 10:16PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtzwtRg8C5E&feature=related

Avatar
#16 Taylor Gang
November 08 2012, 11:45PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

Lezbehonest, the wow factor trade is not bobby lu, they wouldn't have signed duby to that contract. I would say a high profile d-man

Avatar
#17 samwise17
November 08 2012, 02:27PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@Wanye

How does one, get in on this conversation.

Avatar
#18 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
November 08 2012, 02:36PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Hey Wanye, AGM at Knoxville's is a McSteeley!! FISTers are taking over the world.

Avatar
#19 rubbertrout
November 08 2012, 02:55PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

So Wanye, it took how many years for you to break down and buy a jersey after Ranford was traded? With that in mind, and knowing that it was an Eberle jersey you ended up buying, I can't even imagine the destruction you would wreak on the City should Jordan leslie Eberle ever ply his trade for say . . . the Flames.

Avatar
#20 B S
November 08 2012, 03:13PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
rubbertrout wrote:

So Wanye, it took how many years for you to break down and buy a jersey after Ranford was traded? With that in mind, and knowing that it was an Eberle jersey you ended up buying, I can't even imagine the destruction you would wreak on the City should Jordan leslie Eberle ever ply his trade for say . . . the Flames.

Won't happen. Not with MacT in the front office. When Staios was traded to the Flames MacT said it was the "most traitorous thing I've seen since Grant Fuhr in a Flames jersey." Now, I'm not saying the front office isn't collectively stupid enough to trade the best player on the team away, they have shown themselves to more than incompetent enough, I just don't think it will be to Calgary.

Avatar
#21 rubbertrout
November 08 2012, 03:17PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
B S wrote:

Won't happen. Not with MacT in the front office. When Staios was traded to the Flames MacT said it was the "most traitorous thing I've seen since Grant Fuhr in a Flames jersey." Now, I'm not saying the front office isn't collectively stupid enough to trade the best player on the team away, they have shown themselves to more than incompetent enough, I just don't think it will be to Calgary.

I guess my hyperbole wasn't clear enough in that the only trade we ever made with them before was for a pylon for a bag of pucks and a faceoff in the other team's end. Not to mention that the Flames' only prospect worth trading for is Baertchi.

Wanye will freak out in epic proportions if Eberle is traded to Florida let alone anyone in the division.

Avatar
#22 Rama Lama
November 08 2012, 03:33PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

This is the kind of thing that happens when everyone is bored. Listen I for one like trade rumors, but this is beyond comprehension.

As much as I rail against Tamby for being the least creative and most incompetent GM, even he is not that stupid to make such a trade. Bob was foreshadowing something to happen, ( he is the best insider period, full stop) because he knows what the deal is already.

Let me just day dream for a second.........please let it be Horcoff and Belenger for free, nothing in return.

Avatar
#23 They're $hittie
November 08 2012, 03:48PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

The more this lock out goes on the more I think the eberle contract is terrible. I want him to stay here but if we waited till the deal is done we sign him for 5 and set a new precedent for Yak and Nuge to maybe 5.5.

If we trade him we better get Perry in return.

Avatar
#24 A-Mc
November 08 2012, 03:48PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

could the Trade Hype be something like Dubnyk and Peckham + maybe one other young prospect for Luongo?

Vancouver dumps some salary and gets a goalie in return for backup + some young grit.

Those 2 oiler player values != Luongo, but Vancouver is in a tough spot if Schneider is #1 going forward. Lu is an expensive backup.

Avatar
#25 NewAgeSys
November 08 2012, 03:54PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

MMMmmm,just for fun,you know spits and giggles let play here-------------if its Whitney ,Hordichuck and Ebbs it better be Malkin coming back here.

Avatar
#26 Rama Lama
November 08 2012, 03:58PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
A-Mc wrote:

could the Trade Hype be something like Dubnyk and Peckham + maybe one other young prospect for Luongo?

Vancouver dumps some salary and gets a goalie in return for backup + some young grit.

Those 2 oiler player values != Luongo, but Vancouver is in a tough spot if Schneider is #1 going forward. Lu is an expensive backup.

Any GM would consider taking on a contract such as this as a pure career killer........listen Luongo's contract makes Horcoff's contract look good.

No way there is a GM in the league that is that stupid.

Avatar
#27 David S
November 08 2012, 04:11PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I think Hemsky is a dead man. But Eberle? That's crazy talk.

Avatar
#28 KatzKidsJewFro
November 08 2012, 04:11PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I think we should try and trade for David Krejci. What would it take to pry him away from the Bruins. MPS + +?

Avatar
#29 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
November 08 2012, 04:20PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
The Soup Fascist wrote:

"FISTers are taking over the world."

Granted, I have been not been part of the singles bar scene for awhile, but I am not sure I would use that as my "go to" pickup line at Knoxville's Tavern ....

*Assuming Knoxville's is not an "alternative lifestyle" establishment.

** If it is actually an alternative lifestyle bar, conversely, that could be the best pickup line ever.

Who said anything about a pick up line? I was simple stating fact, ask David S... even he knows.

Avatar
#30 a lg dubl dubl
November 08 2012, 07:36PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I think if Eberle was to be traded there is going to be a backlash of epic proportions, that would be like trading Gretzky or Smyth all over again and show the rest of the league the Oilers are no better than the Islanders.

Hemsky and or Gagner I can see getting shipped out but not Eberle or any of the other kids at this stage of their careers.

Avatar
#31 David S
November 08 2012, 08:15PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement wrote:

Who said anything about a pick up line? I was simple stating fact, ask David S... even he knows.

*Grinds teeth.*

Avatar
#32 David S
November 08 2012, 08:57PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

28 insightful, intelligent comments and nobody has asked about that sweet-ass T-Shirt up top there?

What's the deal Wanye? When will it be available?

Avatar
#33 Sanaa Montana
November 08 2012, 09:24PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Hemsky, Gagner, a prospect and 2 1st round picks for Malkin.

Avatar
#34 TeddyTurnbuckle
November 08 2012, 09:50PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Speaking of tony Gallagher, I'm in van today listening to the team 1040 and tony was a guest. He couldn't even name the NHL hall of fame inductees that are going in this month. Is it just me or do most of the Vancouver media and sport writers have the least amount of knowledge of hockey outside of Vancouver.

Avatar
#35 geoilersgist
November 08 2012, 10:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
David S wrote:

28 insightful, intelligent comments and nobody has asked about that sweet-ass T-Shirt up top there?

What's the deal Wanye? When will it be available?

This is exactly what I would like to know

Avatar
#36 Reg Dunlop
November 08 2012, 11:31PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Here's my 3 thingies:

Eberle to Nashville for Minnie Pearl and Weber.

'Pitch woo'? Sounds like something Jethro does to his cousin Ellie May in the courting parlor.

The pic of the legislature and the yellow lights, anybody remember 'going to purple city'?

Avatar
#37 David S
November 09 2012, 12:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Taylor Gang wrote:

Lezbehonest, the wow factor trade is not bobby lu, they wouldn't have signed duby to that contract. I would say a high profile d-man

They might have signed Dubnyk to that contract to make him tradeable. It signals the Oilers think he'll be a decent goaltender so another GM might think the same thing too.

Let's face it, Dubnyk has yet to show he's a solid starter and until he does we're still missing that piece. Not sayin' Luongo is the answer but do you really want to peg your season on a guy who after this long still hasn't proven himself? On a competitive team Dubnyk would have been waived or traded for prospects by now.

Avatar
#38 The poster formerly known as Koolaid drinker #33
November 09 2012, 12:40PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

YEGArena sounds like Macarena. Someone should do a remix to go along with the shirts, just in case we need to organize a rally or something.

Avatar
#39 andrewmk20
November 09 2012, 03:43PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@Rocket

Eberle with the Sedins. I shudder at that thought. Burrows got 30 with those two, Eberle would mark between 40-50. Tambo would essentially be handing the Canucks the West division title for the next 5-6 years, maybe longer depending on the Sedin Twins long-term health.

Avatar
#40 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
November 09 2012, 05:54PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
David S wrote:

They might have signed Dubnyk to that contract to make him tradeable. It signals the Oilers think he'll be a decent goaltender so another GM might think the same thing too.

Let's face it, Dubnyk has yet to show he's a solid starter and until he does we're still missing that piece. Not sayin' Luongo is the answer but do you really want to peg your season on a guy who after this long still hasn't proven himself? On a competitive team Dubnyk would have been waived or traded for prospects by now.

ok.

so, by that logic, the Oilers signing Horcoff signaled the oilers thought he was a decent centre and another GM might think so too?

Avatar
#41 Oilcruzer
November 09 2012, 06:03PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Off to OKC game tonite - meeting the Oil gang coming in on the bus

(FYI - I live near Abbotsford now and must be the only season ticket holder who doesn't live in Edmonton anymore... but it makes my kids happy)

Go Oil!!! Barons!!!

Avatar
#42 David S
November 09 2012, 07:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan wrote:

ok.

so, by that logic, the Oilers signing Horcoff signaled the oilers thought he was a decent centre and another GM might think so too?

Yeahhhhhh...OK.

Avatar
#43 Chet134
November 10 2012, 10:33AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@NewAgeSys

No way the pens would make that trade. Basically ur saying ebbs for Malkin. Whitney has no trade value. More like ebbs, kleffbom, either another good player or another top prospect and a draft pick.

Avatar
#44 OilClog
November 10 2012, 10:37AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@David S

On a competitive well rounded team, Dubnyk could of also walked into the crease due to injury, performed brillantly and became the next Ryan Miller. What would a Ryan Miller be if he was in Dubnyk's place? Down the stretch last season Dub was playing fantastic. He's headed in the right direction, it'd be awfully stupid of Management to build him up to the point where he's about to become legit and trade him off, only to watch him excel. Like that's never happened around these parts before..

Avatar
#45 Chet134
November 10 2012, 10:42AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@Sanaa Montana

Ur stealing Malkin. We only have a few assets to trade. Unfortunately, they r our young players. Hemsky, whitney, horcoff have no trade value. Big contacts, injury issues. Maybe Whitney has a little cuz his contract is up this year.

Avatar
#46 Taylor Gang
November 10 2012, 10:54AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
David S wrote:

Yeahhhhhh...OK.

I'm just saying its definitely possible that they're looking for a goalie, but they're looking to make this deal once the lockout gets resolved, they wouldn't trade for a goalie without at least giving dubnyk a chance

Avatar
#48 David S
November 10 2012, 11:53AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Taylor Gang wrote:

I'm just saying its definitely possible that they're looking for a goalie, but they're looking to make this deal once the lockout gets resolved, they wouldn't trade for a goalie without at least giving dubnyk a chance

They've been giving Dubnyk a chance for the last how many years? On a team whose goal was to make the playoffs versus hunt for #1 draft picks, he would have been flushed a long time ago.

We've become so used to being OK with losing and collecting high draft picks that we've forgotten how competitive teams operate.

Avatar
#49 David S
November 10 2012, 07:27PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Wanye wrote:

They are coming out of the gates as uniforms for Pint and Oodle Noodle staff. Then we will be selling them on the site with part of the proceeds going to charity.

SOON TOO IM TOLD

YESSSSS!!!

*Vigorous two-handed fist pump*

Comments are closed for this article.