March 01 2012 09:55AM
Welp, for better or for worse we have returned from our Asian Adventure back to Edmonton to begin 2012 two months late. It has definitely one of those cases of ‘good to be gone, better to be back’ and because we have basically used the Nation as a travel diary we thought we would cap it off with an article that summarizes the trip so we can remember it when we are old and senile.
THINGS WE’VE NEVER DONE BEFORE
Before we left we said “now Wanye, there is no sense going cashing in all of your retirement bottles and going halfway across the world if you are simply going to eat Burger King and drink Budweiser beers. You have to get out of your Canadian shell and do some weird crap. In fact you must do 10 things you have never done in your life.”
Here is that list:
- Ate crickets
- Ate a silk worm
- Ate tarantula
- Ate crocodile
- Ate shark
- Rode a longboat
- Rode an elephant
- Rode a scooter
- Ate a grasshopper
- That thing that happened in Laos
Recognizing it isn't easy to put life on hold, find a backpacking budget in the couch cushions and leave town we would be remiss if we still didn't recommend it to anyone considering travelling. We didn't travel every until recently owing to the fact we had to work to stay alive and thought it was insane to leave the safety of North America.
It isn't that crazy. We didn't feel unsafe once the entire time though we tried to find the sketchiest stuff to do. The locals were incredibly nice everywhere we went and we barely even caught malaria once. If you are considering doing a trip but wonder if it is safe take it from the biggest wuss this side of Brandon, Manitoba.
THINGS WE’VE MISSED SO MUCH
Having said all of that there were so many little things that we have been elated to enjoy now that we returned home. You don’t appreciate how good you have got it at home until you leave for awhile.
- All our electronic devices work
- The massive time change is gone
- All the signs are in the Kings English
- No rats, no bugs, no snakes
- No one will serve is tarantulas even if we order them in advance
- Normal smelling toiletries! Bars of soap the size of loaves of bread!
- High speed internet for high speed streaming
- JORDAN EBERLE
- OILERZNATION TALKINGZ
Yesterday the Edmonton Journal had a poll gauging whether or not the City was excited about the release of the new iPad. This would ordinarily be totally uninteresting until we saw that one of the poll options was “squeeeeeee.”
It’s clear that the combined efforts of everyone at the Nation Network is having some impact – to the point that the local newspaper is apeing our gibberish English to try and build credit in the mean streets of E-town.
Now that bucket list item of seeing squee in the local papers has been achieved where do we go from here? Do we sit around and wait for the Oilers to make the playoffs and just keep tweeting until then? Where can we go from here?
Having gone into self imposed exile and sat on an island with no internet connections, no remaining travel mates and no deadlines we had nothing left to do but scheme. Scheme and plot if you will.
We’ve got some plans now to try and knock out in the coming months. And by cryptically eluding to them in our final travel article we hope you will hold us to the idea that we can’t sit around like a lazy ass all summer waiting for the new season to start.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN BIEBER!