GDB 71.0: BATTLE OF ALBERTA

Wanye
March 16 2012 12:20PM

Oh hey Calgary. How’s things? It’s just Wanye - your friendly neighbour to the North. Just thought we’d pop in with a few friends to talk about the ice hockey match this evening.

Things aren’t as dire up here in Edmonton as seasons of XXth, 30th, 30th and 29th would suggest. Yeah we know you are better than us on paper. You have an all world goalie capable of winning you any game he decides. We have a worn out old Russian and some 9 foot something or other backing him up.

Your Captain has X 30 goal seasons in a row, our Captain makes $30 million dollars a game.

PROOF MEET PUDDING

We know that you have been to the playoffs X times since 2006 and all we have been getting up here is our collective asses handed to us. We know we aren’t even close to you in the standings.

We know that the cumulative 5 year record of our respective teams is:

We know all sorts of facts.

Having said all of that:

WE WOULD RATHER BE US THAN YOU

That’s right. The Oilers are coming out of an extended dark age and yours are only beginning now. And you know it too – don’t even pretend you can’t see four or five years of basement dwelling on the horizon ahead of you. Look how old you are! And the no trade clauses! Tsk tsk tsk. It boggles the mind!

Had any UFA or RFA of note chosen the Edmonton Oilers in the past 10 years we might be in a similar pickle. But guess what. They didn’t. And the garbage that we were able to sign are almost all off the books. Then you know what happens? That’s when the winning starts.

Now sure that might be tomorrow and not today. We know that you are surging ETC ETC ETC and hope to put a playoff berth firmly in your sights tonight. And we know that this ain’t exactly the best Oilers squadron of the past 3

There are many areas the Oilers can whip the Calgary Flames at and this includes:

SEXIER BRASS

Sutter v Renney? Are we kidding here? Not to mention that the corpse of Tambellini could be left in the sun for a week and be more attractive in a bathing suit than Jay Feaster. No no, this isn't even a contest between the two franchises.

MORE RYANS

Compare the rosters

MORE SQUEEE

Something something

MORE NUGE

Something something

AND SO

In closing here are some more incendiary quotes from OilersNation via twitter:

@bcherri01 This one is for first dibs on tee times #battleofalberta

@JSBMrevolution Time to show the world who the REAL best cousin kissers are #Wait #battleofalberta

@MyqWilson “Who wins BOA? Jay Feaster asks for the question to be rephrased in the form of a cheeseburger*

You are the worst monsters in human history. We look forward to watching you miss the playoffs.

Signed,

A team out of the playoffs for XX consecutive months

PS Even at the end of the article we would STILL rather be us than you.

Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.

Sort comments by props

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Reply #301 Mason Storm March 16 2012, 07:23PM

+1 0 props

gussey wrote:

Im not sure if oiler fans have heard of this guy Sven Baerschi.. 3 goals in his first 4 games. and hes 19.. and we didnt have to finish last place in the nhl to draft him

He also has a 37.5 shooting percentage. If you believe that's sustainable, congrats on the next Stamkos.

Reply #302 50 in 39 March 16 2012, 07:26PM

+1 0 props

@beloch

Ya, there will be crap to swallow all the way around depending on the result.

And you are right being built to fail is not a valid excuse, what it is though is a methodology and a strategic goal. Feel about it how you may, this is what they are trying to achieve right now.

Reply #303 Mitch111 March 16 2012, 07:26PM

+1 0 props

@DieHard

How bout...no? Hey die hard, do what your name states for the rest of us that dont care about you

Reply #304 NLR March 16 2012, 07:27PM

+1 0 props

@oiler/hab

Sorry to offend. Haha. The one post was not me in my defense. Just a little ribbing towards the city and team that I hate. Seems to be keeping with the spirit of the thread. Good luck cheering for two out of the three bottom teams in the league!!! You are a veritable rabbits foot.

Reply #305 beloch March 16 2012, 07:31PM

+1 0 props

Mark-LW wrote:

You're right, I see no trouble trading a 36 year old goalie(at start of next season) with two years left at 5.8 mil.
It might be a tough decision but I'd consider moving him for Columbus' first round pick.

The Flames actually have some good post-Kipper goalie prospects. Irving (one of the Flames draft picks BTW) has been good in all of the games he's played in except that Boston massacre, but Kipper (and the rest of the team) did some sucking that night too. The Oilers will have their chance to test him tonight. Feaster also managed to pick up a very good KHL goalie (Karri Ramo), so there's another likely NHL-ready starter if Irving falls off a cliff. Calgary could trade Kipper and still get quality goal-tending.

Edmonton could trade Khabibulin and... uh... trade Dubnyk and... uh... put a Sumo wrestler in net? Yeah. That'll do the job!

Reply #306 DieHard March 16 2012, 07:33PM

+1 3 props

Mitch111 wrote:

How bout...no? Hey die hard, do what your name states for the rest of us that dont care about you

Let me talk to Mitch 110.

Reply #307 Mason Storm March 16 2012, 07:35PM

+1 0 props

jumanji93 wrote:

I am an Oilers fan, and I am pretty sure there is a "t" in that name there somewhere... by the by, all three kids are over 0.75 PPG, and they have played a whole season...

The "t" goes at the end of the name right?

Reply #308 beloch March 16 2012, 07:38PM

+1 0 props

Actually, to be fair, Khabibulin and Dubnyk are both performing at nearly the league average save % (0.910 and 0.911 vs 0.914). So you guys aren't getting bad goal-tending really. Just slightly below average at worst.

Reply #309 beloch March 16 2012, 07:40PM

+1 0 props

Game on!

P.S. Angelina Jolie called Taylor Hall up. She wants her lips back.

Reply #310 Mason Storm March 16 2012, 07:49PM

+1 0 props

beloch wrote:

Game on!
P.S. Angelina Jolie called Taylor Hall up. She wants her lips back.

Hall just phoned Sarich up. He wants his head back.

Reply #311 COCKMAGGOTCALGARY March 16 2012, 07:54PM

+1 0 props

Did hall get cheapshotted by that piece of $hit?

Reply #312 Mason Storm March 16 2012, 08:09PM

+1 0 props

@COCKMAGGOTCALGARY

Not a cheap shot. Just a fluke where Hall was falling and Sarich was about to crush him. He got Sarichs forearm in the face.

Reply #313 D-man March 16 2012, 08:29PM

+1 0 props

@Jeff Lebowski

Small Lebowski, maybe you should take your lame-ass smack act to the Jim Rome show. They appreciate windbag clones like you who like to listen to themselves talk. It's a good thing you live in a city where half the population gets paid to sit on their asses checking their stock portfolios all day long, writing overly long "hilarious" monologues or pondering new ways to embezzle your boss so you can pay for your girlfriend's boob job.

Reply #314 Stocc March 16 2012, 08:30PM

+1 0 props

Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement wrote:

Well that's all the omen I need, I'll go with 5 goals 9 points for the Eberlean one.
CRANK UP THE SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

He's falling off the pace with only 1 goal and 1 assist in the opening period.

Reply #315 Buzz Lightbeer March 16 2012, 08:36PM

+1 0 props

Ebersqueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Eat sh!t cowpiles.

Reply #316 D-man March 16 2012, 08:42PM

+1 0 props

@Vintage Flame

The only thing funnier than one of Vintage Flames' posts is an Iginla shoot-out attempt. They last almost as long too.

Reply #317 oilman3 March 16 2012, 08:47PM

+1 1 props

the flames have had almost no chances in this game. they are fortunate to only be down two and all with hall out. iginla and baertchi must have set a record by now with how many times they've had their pockets picked.

Reply #318 COCKMAGGOTCALGARY March 16 2012, 09:10PM

+1 0 props

Mason Storm wrote:

Not a cheap shot. Just a fluke where Hall was falling and Sarich was about to crush him. He got Sarichs forearm in the face.

Is Hall out for the Game?

Reply #319 Mason Storm March 16 2012, 09:14PM

+1 0 props

@COCKMAGGOTCALGARY

Yeah, the team is keeping him out. As far as I can tell from the updates.

Reply #320 Wäx Män Riley March 16 2012, 10:05PM

+1 7 props

After reading most of the comments I have come to a few conclusions:

1)Flames fans have a SERIOUS inferiority complex comparable to "little man syndrome." Eerily similar to Toronto's "center of the universe" complex.

2)Flames fans have some strange obsession with cousins that have relations with each other.

3)Flames fans use the word "retarded" to describe anything not Calgary related.

4)Calgary is losing this game handily, and is another step closer to missing the playoffs.

5)Oilers fans have seen The Flames movie before. We know how it ends. Trying to hang on, catch 8th place and pray that anything can happen in the playoffs. Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt. Mine says "Grier"

Reply #321 Oilers89 March 16 2012, 10:09PM

+1 0 props

Wäx Män Riley wrote:

After reading most of the comments I have come to a few conclusions:
1)Flames fans have a SERIOUS inferiority complex comparable to "little man syndrome." Eerily similar to Toronto's "center of the universe" complex.
2)Flames fans have some strange obsession with cousins that have relations with each other.
3)Flames fans use the word "retarded" to describe anything not Calgary related.
4)Calgary is losing this game handily, and is another step closer to missing the playoffs.
5)Oilers fans have seen The Flames movie before. We know how it ends. Trying to hang on, catch 8th place and pray that anything can happen in the playoffs. Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt. Mine says "Grier"

So true the oilers used to be in that boat, and you know what? It sunk.

Reply #322 Mikey March 16 2012, 10:13PM

+1 0 props

So, Sven is as good as Ebs/Rnh? Get real.

Reply #323 DJ Dynasty Handbag March 16 2012, 10:14PM

+1 2 props

in the immortal words of Shaq....

"calgary, tell me how my ass tastes"

#eatsh!tflames

Reply #324 The poster formerly known as Koolaid drinker #33 March 16 2012, 10:14PM

+1 0 props

Wäx Män Riley wrote:

After reading most of the comments I have come to a few conclusions:
1)Flames fans have a SERIOUS inferiority complex comparable to "little man syndrome." Eerily similar to Toronto's "center of the universe" complex.
2)Flames fans have some strange obsession with cousins that have relations with each other.
3)Flames fans use the word "retarded" to describe anything not Calgary related.
4)Calgary is losing this game handily, and is another step closer to missing the playoffs.
5)Oilers fans have seen The Flames movie before. We know how it ends. Trying to hang on, catch 8th place and pray that anything can happen in the playoffs. Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt. Mine says "Grier"

Haha siyet, mine says Brewer.

Reply #325 Quicksilver ballet March 16 2012, 10:18PM

+1 5 props

Didn't even notice that Sven Barfy guy out there this evening. Not many Flamers bothered to show up.

Without Kipper in goal, the Lames are no better than the Columbus Bluejackets.

SCREW YOU CALGARY!

Reply #326 Sailge March 16 2012, 10:23PM

+1 0 props

Ebs, Nuge and Dubey, great game boys. Suck it flames. Eat sh!t flamers fans, onto another playoffs miss and a worse draft pick than us. Guaranteed loserboy VF has nothin to say. Flamers 5 years behind us in the rebuild LOL

Reply #327 Justin R March 16 2012, 10:29PM

+1 4 props

gussey wrote:

Im not sure if oiler fans have heard of this guy Sven Baerschi.. 3 goals in his first 4 games. and hes 19.. and we didnt have to finish last place in the nhl to draft him

Not sure if you have heard of a guy named Jordan Eberle, but he has 31 goals on the year and he was drafted #22

Reply #328 dougtheslug March 16 2012, 10:40PM

+1 3 props

Down 2-1, coming out for the biggest third period of the year, and the Flames get 2 - count 'em, 2- shots on goal. Nice. Maybe having a shut down d-man like Schulz isn't a bad idea.

Reply #329 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan March 16 2012, 10:48PM

+1 2 props

I have exerciiiiiiiiised the demons

Reply #330 D-man March 16 2012, 10:50PM

+1 2 props

Scott wrote:

Just so we all understand how the internet works:
This article was posted to both sites, ON and FN. So Wayne trolled first!
You Oilers fan have enjoyed watching your team lose 60% of the time and haven't watched meaningful hockey since November.
I'd much rather watch a team that A) played meaningful hockey in the second half of the season and B) had a chance to win more than 1 out of every three games.
So you keep enjoying the fact that tomorrrow, when there is world peace and no world hunger and everyone is sitting around a campfire singing Kumbaya, your Oilers will have a chance to make it to the playoffs.
Until that day, I'll stick with the team that actually wins games.
Oilers fans... EAT SH!T!

I'd rather watch a team that can score a pretty goal once in a while. If I had to watch the Flames on a regular basis I'd become a soccer fan.

Reply #331 nofool6110 March 16 2012, 10:53PM

+1 0 props

cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan wrote:

I have exerciiiiiiiiised the demons

Phew - at least they'll be fit! :D

Reply #332 D-man March 16 2012, 11:00PM

+1 3 props

T&A4Flames wrote:

The only reason Sven was called up is because we already were playing with 7 of our AHLers and couldn't keep depleting our minor team... and we are still winning! What does that say about our future???!!!

it says you have been playing a lot of mediocre teams lately and the top of Kiprusof's head is flatter than your girlfriend.

Reply #333 D-man March 16 2012, 11:09PM

+1 0 props

T&A4Flames wrote:

The only reason Sven was called up is because we already were playing with 7 of our AHLers and couldn't keep depleting our minor team... and we are still winning! What does that say about our future???!!!

Maybe Sven should have brought some of his teammates with him. The Flames proved Feaster right tonight, without Kiprusoff they really are worse than a 30th place team.

Reply #334 dougtheslug March 16 2012, 11:11PM

+1 2 props

By the way, Eberle has now passed the Sedin twins in the scoring race. He is now top 10 in scoring. Because he is one of the ten best forwards in the league. Takeasuckathat.

Reply #335 D-man March 16 2012, 11:17PM

+1 0 props

T&A4Flames wrote:

1988 Olympics ring a bell...
Congrats on being the capital..woo hoo!!
Malls, Capitals... yeahhhh. Oh and in case your uneducated mind wasn't aware, Calgary has a University as well.

... a University world renowned for their fine Phys Ed program and probably the biggest collection of ugly buildings in all of academia.

Reply #336 D-man March 16 2012, 11:35PM

+1 1 props

schevvy wrote:

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Flames get two goals each from Iggy and Sven and win 4-2.
OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Us Flames fans will go into a state of depression because this is Sven's last game.
NOT SO OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Jay Feaster in his post-game celebration accidentally trips Lee Stempniak and elbows Lance Bouma's shoulder in order to allow Sven to stay up with the club. When Stempniak is on the ground injured Hemsky walks by and trips over him, causing him to miss the rest of the season.

Sven's no Eberle.

Reply #337 bazmagoo March 17 2012, 12:01AM

+1 0 props

@dougtheslug

Eberle rules, the Sedin sisters drool!

Peckham has actually played well lately, what the heck. Had that guy completely written off.

Horcoff actually has thrown a few hits the past couple of games, guess he knows Renney's rant was directed at him!

Reply #338 The Soup Fascist March 17 2012, 12:25AM

+1 3 props

Jeff Lebowski wrote:

One could bring up how your mayor wants you to kick the Calgary habit. You know with the airport? Calgary is the hub, businesses know it, so do your own citizens.
Your downtown airport. It retarded the growth of your city. Look in your downtown, there are no new skyscrapers, no new development.
All the power has been transferred to Calgary. Why? We have all the money. We're growing while you're shrinking. You see, people, especially young people, are leaving Edmonton in droves. A lot are coming to Calgary. Why? It's better here, in every way.
Edmonton's getting older, no one is moving there. Soon your tax revenue will shrink so much that the governments funds that make up all your new developments will dry up. It won't be justified to spend tax dollars there. We have money here. The development gap is obvious. Look out the window.
Speaking of tax dollars, your new rink is raping your city up the a$$ (but you guys love it up the a$$). Katz is just preying on your existential fear of losing the Oilers. He puts some up front cash up but threatens your city council. They bend over for him and he sucks all the money in this whole deal. It all goes to Rexall's benefit. Sure some bars will make money but the real cash leaves town just like him. This is the only investment in Edmonton worth anything and he's gonna take all the cash and ship it out to Palm Springs or someplace else with a future. You're all just letting it happen because there's no one else.
You can come down to Calgary. You're all more than welcome. We got lots of people moving here and they can cheer for whoever they want. The educated are coming here, settling here, investing here. We are exponentially growing the gap past you. In many ways you don't matter. You're irrelevant. We don't care if you come here, we're too busy living great lives. We don't hate like you do. We're not envious like you are. We'd love to share the good times here with you. Think of all the people you know who've already made the move. They ain't looking back.
Edmonton has just declined past the point of return. You're climbing up a mountain of sand, you wave your arms but you're just sinking further back.
You know, teams win and lose. No big deal. We just got so much more to look forward to here. Our lives are fuller, richer. Highway 2 North is the road to nowhere.
All I'm doing is pointing at the writing on the wall. Do whatever you want with it. I could care less.

Wow. Just getting back from the game. Excellent game and result. Gotta keep my eye on that Eberle guy, he might be OK.

Hey little fella you had a big day. Spouted off your non-sensical babble. Got schooled on the boards. Made a fool of yourself and watched Flames stink it up.

Time to put on the Little Lebowski Flaming C jammies and head for Ma's basement. Curl into fetal postion and repeat, Today never happened. Today never happened.

Sweet dreams

Reply #339 Mark-LW March 17 2012, 01:07AM

+1 0 props

#eatsh!t

Flames sucks.

Wayne's article couldn't speak the truth more.

Reply #340 Wäx Män Riley March 17 2012, 01:21AM

+1 6 props

And another thing.... How do you flames fans actually think that Jay Feas....

Flames fans? *looks around*

*calls out* FLAAAAAAMMESSSS FAAAAAANNNSSSSS!!!

*hears crickets*

Wonder where they all went.....

*goes back to playing Mass Effect 3, forgets all about The Flames. Just like the hockey gods.*

Reply #341 Jordan Nugent-Hallkins March 17 2012, 01:52AM

+1 1 props

Hahaha

Haaaahahahahaha

Hahahahahaha

Reply #342 thepeetso March 17 2012, 01:58AM

+1 3 props

The Flames are so offensively challenged, Laddy Smid felt obliged to help out and score their only goal for them.

#eatsh!tflames

Reply #343 Colin March 17 2012, 07:28AM

+1 0 props

Wäx Män Riley wrote:

And another thing.... How do you flames fans actually think that Jay Feas....
Flames fans? *looks around*
*calls out* FLAAAAAAMMESSSS FAAAAAANNNSSSSS!!!
*hears crickets*
Wonder where they all went.....
*goes back to playing Mass Effect 3, forgets all about The Flames. Just like the hockey gods.*

Since your not a flames fan you're probably smart enough to get the ending.........

Reply #344 Oilers4ever March 17 2012, 10:06AM

+1 0 props

See you on the golf course in a month there Calgary Geriatrics...

What a joke of team you have. HAHAHAHAHA

Oh.. and by the way there Jeff LeBlowMe... maybe you should go to Etown once in awhile. I don't live there myself (not in the Calgary Cowpie hole either mind you) and even I know downtown Etown has new sky scrapers going up. Seriously.. you must pretty insecure with yourself to make comments about something you know jack-crap about.. clearly it shows...

As stated... back to your fetal position.. we feel for you cheering for a team with no hope or future...

Reply #345 wiseguy March 17 2012, 10:25AM

+1 0 props

dougtheslug wrote:

By the way, Eberle has now passed the Sedin twins in the scoring race. He is now top 10 in scoring. Because he is one of the ten best forwards in the league. Takeasuckathat.

One of the best 9 forwards... Karlsson doesn't count.

Reply #346 RKD March 17 2012, 01:02PM

+1 0 props

Calling all Coiler fans from Deadmonton:

Let me know when you guys *cough, cough*, win a Stanley Cup. Better yet, call me when you make the playoffs. Oh wait a minute, call me when you are a .500 team.

So you have 3 top forwards, it still wasn't enough to carry your team. You don't have a goalie, you don't have any d-men.

Just because Chicago and Pittsburgh won Stanley Cups doesn't mean your team will. Pittsburgh balanced their drafting by taking a goalie(Fleury) and a d-man(Letang). While Chicago may not have top goalie, they still have Keith/Seabrook/Kane/Toews. Again, balance, it can't all be one-sided.

Look at the Islanders, what's that? Yes, the Islanders with all their draft picks. Still can't make the playoffs or reach .500. Why? No goalie and terrible d. Sound familiar?

Reply #347 The Soup Fascist March 17 2012, 01:38PM

+1 0 props

RKD wrote:

Calling all Coiler fans from Deadmonton:

Let me know when you guys *cough, cough*, win a Stanley Cup. Better yet, call me when you make the playoffs. Oh wait a minute, call me when you are a .500 team.

So you have 3 top forwards, it still wasn't enough to carry your team. You don't have a goalie, you don't have any d-men.

Just because Chicago and Pittsburgh won Stanley Cups doesn't mean your team will. Pittsburgh balanced their drafting by taking a goalie(Fleury) and a d-man(Letang). While Chicago may not have top goalie, they still have Keith/Seabrook/Kane/Toews. Again, balance, it can't all be one-sided.

Look at the Islanders, what's that? Yes, the Islanders with all their draft picks. Still can't make the playoffs or reach .500. Why? No goalie and terrible d. Sound familiar?

Good well thought out argument and I am serious when I say that. Because the organization has not yet adressed those issues. But I am way more comfortable about the direction of the Oilers than the Flames.

I will pose a straightforward question to you which I would like an honest answer to. Which team will have a better overall record over the next three years and will it be close?

Reply #348 Oilers89 March 17 2012, 01:57PM

+1 0 props

RKD wrote:

Calling all Coiler fans from Deadmonton:

Let me know when you guys *cough, cough*, win a Stanley Cup. Better yet, call me when you make the playoffs. Oh wait a minute, call me when you are a .500 team.

So you have 3 top forwards, it still wasn't enough to carry your team. You don't have a goalie, you don't have any d-men.

Just because Chicago and Pittsburgh won Stanley Cups doesn't mean your team will. Pittsburgh balanced their drafting by taking a goalie(Fleury) and a d-man(Letang). While Chicago may not have top goalie, they still have Keith/Seabrook/Kane/Toews. Again, balance, it can't all be one-sided.

Look at the Islanders, what's that? Yes, the Islanders with all their draft picks. Still can't make the playoffs or reach .500. Why? No goalie and terrible d. Sound familiar?

Letang was drafted in the second round or something like that, same with keith. Those two were not drafted high so really the oilers could have dmen just like that in their minor league system right now. Also Petry is developing nicely and did not let Iginla or anybody on calgary get any good chances yesterday. The oilers need a goalie, they need a top dman, and maybe another dman, give the oilers just one or two of those players and they are in really good shape. I cannot say the same about the flames, I am sorry but they are falling off a cliff.

Reply #349 The Anti-Troll March 17 2012, 02:29PM

+1 1 props

@RKD

Hey dumbass... Still talking out both sides of your ass I see. Great. This is the giy who claimed skewing when he was in fact the one talkin BS and changing the context of the convo.

For all u tools that think edmonton is dead think again. Actually more n more buisnesses are moving away from calgary. Capital powe closed it's offices as well as a few other major buisnesses, call centers, etc

Your mayor is spouting muslim propaganda as well... How that workin out for you?

You.guys wanna be toronto so bad you had to erect a giant peni$ in the air like a little jealous brother from your surrounding trailer parks.

Also why does your dt smell like horse crap or yeast year round? Suck losers u have to bitch about others to make urself feel better.

Reply #350 Quicksilver ballet March 17 2012, 02:35PM

+1 0 props

^^^Oh my!^^^

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