A TWITTERVERSE COUP

Wanye
August 31 2012 02:52PM

An epic battle rages here at the OilersNation. A battle between good and evil, brains and brawn, thinking up here (points to brain) versus thinking down here (points to groin region.) And don't kid yourself, the smart kids are winning.

Using our limited power in the wake of the putsch by Kent Wilson and Co. we have decided to do something for the morons among us and to put someone fun in charge of the OilersNation twitter account.

And by put someone in charge we mean that we agreed with everything someone much smarter than us suggested and then wrote an article a couple weeks later.

BACKSTORY

Early on in the Twitter game (like 2008 or sometihng) former OilersNation Big Boss @bingofuel decided that we needed to move with the movement. We couldn't really understand what all the fuss was about, but reluctantly agreed as it required no work on our part whatsoever. We had a script written up that allowed for new articles to be tweeted in virtual real time by @oilersnation @flamesnation and @canucksarmy and pretty much left it like that.

Kent took over and wisely put great folk in place to tweet for the Canucks and Flames peoples but @OilersNation has only been robotically tweeting links to new articles for almost 4 years now. And still we are kicking the hell out of the other sites! TROLOLOL

Recently. we were sat down by a concerned individual with considerable twitter talents who made an impassioned plea: "Seriously man WTF is up with the OilersNation twitter account? All it does is tweet links to stories. And that's it! Man, it is so sucky. You should give away tons of prizes every day and have contests during Oilers games and all sorts of good stuff. Why are you so lazy Wanye!?"

Calling us lazy is a sure fire way to be conscripted into a job you may not want. And now we present the new TwitterCzar of the #1 ranked OilersNation twitter account:

 

AN INTERVIEW FOR THE AGES

WG: Baggedmilk has been hanging around OilersNation since the very beginning. How did you first hear about the site?

BM: The first time I heard about OilersNation, I was listening to Jason Gregor on my way home from another successful day of scrounging for empties and chasing pigeons. One of the callers mentioned a new, hip place for Oilers fans so I knew I had to find it. However, I have the a memory similar to that of the common Goldfish, so I spent the remainder of the evening Googling for a blog run by Wanye Gretzky.

WG: Then you launched the fabulous JeanShortsandBaggedmilk.com which is quite honestly one of our favourite sites on the entire interwebs. Tell us about this wonderful place.

BM: JSBM started as (and remains) a joke between myself and my life partner, Jeanshorts. One night, we were knee deep in a case of Breezers and decided that everyone on the Internet should be entitled to our opinion. We have bad jokes and the World needed to read them. Basically, we created a place for guys (ladies apply within) to tell fart jokes, oogle naked ladies, talk about the Oilers and use naughty words. *tear* It's beautiful, man!

WG: You violently took control over the @oilersnation twitter feed and will begin tweeting on September first. What can followers look forward to? Annoying spam? RTs of Myley Cyrus bots?

BM: Now you know what happens when I don't get my juice... violence and lots of crying. Anyway, firstly I plan to spend as much of your money as I possibly can. Why you gave me a gold plated Wanye Enterprises credit card is beyond me, but I plan on using it.

That means, over and above my mindless drivel that will handed out in hefty portions, I'll be pumping out Twitter contests for GCs, running twitter games during Oilers matches for Bieber sized prizes and talking lots and lots and lots of Oilers talk. Yeah, it'll be sweet... real sweet. @OilersNation will also become the Internet's #1 place to tell me how stupid I am, so that's pretty exciting.

QUICK BREAK TO WATCH DANCING CAT  

WG: Thoughts on the season ahead? What do you figure?

BM: Part of me feels as though I should gas up the JSBM Panel Van and head down to New York to start giving the NHL and the NHLPA some fan perspective on what's going on here. Do they know how cold it is in Edmonton during the winter? Don't they know that the only warmth we can expect around here, during the winter months, is the tender embrace from a drunken stranger after Baby Nuge scores his 13th consecutive hat trick? DO THEY KNOW THAT!?!?

That being said, once the season does get rolling I think the Oilers are finally going to break the playoff drought this year. Just think, last year the Oilers were in first place after the first 15 games or something like that so if the season is cut short by 67 games, the Oilers are shoe ins! Sweet.

WG: I've heard rumours of a JSBM/Wanye collabo on digital shorts this year. Can you add anything to an already deafening roar of interest online?

BM: Digital shorts?! Like the ones Astro Boy wears?! Awesome!

WG: No, I'm not talking about electric pants - I'm talking about videos.

BM: Ohhhhhhhh right right right. Yeah we're going to be making more videos for the Nation. Remember #NugeForCalder? Well, more people have seen those videos than the remake of Battleship, so I think the people are ready for a new way to cover the Oilers. Things are about to change around here.

WG: SWEET

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 Kent Wilson
August 31 2012, 03:02PM
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Hey...I never authorized this.

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#2 baggedmilk
August 31 2012, 03:10PM
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Things are about to get weird.

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#3 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
August 31 2012, 02:55PM
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FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST!!

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#6 The Towel Boy
August 31 2012, 03:03PM
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Dear GOD HELP US ALL!!!!!!1!

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#7 Wanyes bastard child
August 31 2012, 06:05PM
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Whats a twitter?

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#8 Travis Dakin
August 31 2012, 07:59PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

HOLYCRAP YOU GUYS A GHOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Jaw drops right off face*

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#9 Travis Dakin
August 31 2012, 06:20PM
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@Travis Dakin

Travis shouldn't talk about himself in the third person.

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#10 Stocc
August 31 2012, 06:27PM
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Wanyes bastard child wrote:

Whats a twitter?

Are there comments on the twitters?

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#11 Admiral Rusty
August 31 2012, 07:39PM
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Oh my goodness. Life is good again. First Eberle, now this?

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#12 jeanshorts
August 31 2012, 07:45PM
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Admiral Rusty wrote:

Oh my goodness. Life is good again. First Eberle, now this?

HOLYCRAP YOU GUYS A GHOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#13 John Chambers
August 31 2012, 09:21PM
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Hate to spoil the party ladies, but Mr Internet himself John Chambers will be launching a MySpace page with all the latest insightful defenses of the Tambellini regime.*

*Not accessible on mobile devices.

Welcome to the Human Network, bitches

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#14 freeze
August 31 2012, 03:04PM
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Haha, well, I should probably start follow that account. I guess.

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#15 Petr's Jofa
August 31 2012, 03:25PM
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Will bagged milk's new role as Oilernation's Twitter boss at JSBM affect the frequency that new content gets added a JSMB?

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#16 Archaeologuy
August 31 2012, 03:28PM
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Oilersnation, you just made my twitter feed so much more interesting.

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#17 jeanshorts
August 31 2012, 03:31PM
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Petr's Jofa wrote:

Will bagged milk's new role as Oilernation's Twitter boss at JSBM affect the frequency that new content gets added a JSMB?

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO POST NEW THINGS ON THERE? OH GOD!!!!

*Runs and hides in his Long Weekend Pillowfort®*

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#18 baggedmilk
August 31 2012, 03:35PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO POST NEW THINGS ON THERE? OH GOD!!!!

*Runs and hides in his Long Weekend Pillowfort®*

I wrote something yesterday, so as far as I'm concerned I'm done for a month or so.

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#20 tricksnard
August 31 2012, 04:03PM
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Which JSBM unit have I been seducing with my foul mouth and temper on twitter for the last year or four?

Trying to find out if I have an inside track on the free g6 flight to Oil Country with tickets in a box for the season opener.

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#21 Snowdropper
August 31 2012, 04:19PM
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Looks like the LAs the Royal 1/2 has some competition now. Hope there'll be some trash talk between those two accounts!

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#22 Dman09
August 31 2012, 04:52PM
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tricksnard wrote:

Which JSBM unit have I been seducing with my foul mouth and temper on twitter for the last year or four?

Trying to find out if I have an inside track on the free g6 flight to Oil Country with tickets in a box for the season opener.

Too bad there will be a lockout if you do.

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#23 The Real Scuba Steve
August 31 2012, 05:03PM
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Suba Steve?

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#24 Travis Dakin
August 31 2012, 06:19PM
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This reminds me of the old days. Ah memories.

Travis is about to get happy again!

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#25 David S
August 31 2012, 06:23PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

This reminds me of the old days. Ah memories.

Travis is about to get happy again!

Yeah no kidding hey? Holy cow! JS and BM back in the fold. It does indeed harken me back to a golden age.

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#26 David S
August 31 2012, 06:24PM
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On a related note, does this mean ON tweets are going to have NSFW Fridays? (asking for a friend)

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#27 oilers2k10
August 31 2012, 06:26PM
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how come bagged milk doesn't have a avatar if he is about to become so famous?

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#28 PeOiler
August 31 2012, 06:33PM
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@Travis Dakin

Woah! Did you just refer to yourself in the 4th person? Only on ON...

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#29 jeanshorts
August 31 2012, 06:51PM
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oilers2k10 wrote:

how come bagged milk doesn't have a avatar if he is about to become so famous?

He's on at least 7 sexual offender lists, that we know of, so he's trying to, as he puts it "keep it on the d-diggty low-down-izity, naw'mean?".

He's clearly on those lists for a reason.

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#30 jeanshorts
August 31 2012, 07:45PM
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tricksnard wrote:

Which JSBM unit have I been seducing with my foul mouth and temper on twitter for the last year or four?

Trying to find out if I have an inside track on the free g6 flight to Oil Country with tickets in a box for the season opener.

If it was funny or smart or had something to do with having excellent taste then it was most definitely me.

Everything else was that other A-hole, whatever his name is.

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#31 Wanyes bastard child
August 31 2012, 08:18PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

*Jaw drops right off face*

These things happen when you run around naked in the winter eh.

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#32 David S
August 31 2012, 09:23PM
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Admiral Rusty wrote:

Oh my goodness. Life is good again. First Eberle, now this?

*faints*

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#33 Wanyes bastard child
August 31 2012, 10:00PM
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David S wrote:

*faints*

Hmmm, ponders what to do with a fainted David S... ;)

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#34 Raine Snow
September 01 2012, 02:46AM
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Has anyone ever wondered if Wanye is JSBM?

Or is JSBM Wanye?

Trippy

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#35 AutoOiler
September 01 2012, 05:39AM
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I am not sure what just happen?

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#36 pelhem grenville
September 01 2012, 06:46AM
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...i'm a non twitterer

but this is hilarious

..."The Twitter handle "Invisible Obama," which said it was sitting "Stage left of Clint Eastwood," quipped that "The GOP built me." An hour after Eastwood's speech, it already had 20,000 followers. The move spawned a new trend with people posting photos of themselves pointing at empty chairs with the hashtag "eastwooding."..."

get on it boys...opportunity knocks

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#37 pelhem grenville
September 01 2012, 07:34AM
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...ladies and gentlemen i give you FIRE HOCKEY

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/ancient-mexican-fire-hockey-road-hockey-except-ball-193941763--nhl.html

in the event of a LOCKOUT please start now soaking your round cloth wrapped balls in gasoline and get ready to face off...

without the NHL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#38 The Towel Boy
September 01 2012, 10:46AM
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Rusty, Dakin, JSBM ....all in the same comment thread?

TIME WARPING FTW! How about those Cogliano and Gagner kids?!?

Who Saw This Coming?!?(tm)

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#39 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
September 01 2012, 12:47PM
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Wanyes bastard child wrote:

Hmmm, ponders what to do with a fainted David S... ;)

tea bag time!

er.. i mean.. um..

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#40 Travis Dakin
September 01 2012, 12:53PM
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The Towel Boy wrote:

Rusty, Dakin, JSBM ....all in the same comment thread?

TIME WARPING FTW! How about those Cogliano and Gagner kids?!?

Who Saw This Coming?!?(tm)

What is happening in my world!??!? There is just so much action coming at me from every direction!!!

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#41 BUCK75
September 01 2012, 08:15PM
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Hey! I think the last time Baggedmilk had this kind of power, an all out internet war happened with the PENSBLOG.

*crawls into nuclear bunker & awaits the fallout*

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#42 rubbertrout
September 04 2012, 12:06PM
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David S wrote:

On a related note, does this mean ON tweets are going to have NSFW Fridays? (asking for a friend)

I was going to ask the same thing. Of course, BM being in on the tweeting probably means that the posts at JSBM are going to grind to a complete halt.

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#43 rubbertrout
September 04 2012, 12:07PM
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Admiral Rusty wrote:

Oh my goodness. Life is good again. First Eberle, now this?

We need you back at JSBM Rusty.

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