GDB 04: THE BATTLE OF ALBERTA

Wanye
January 26 2013 12:11PM

We have a little tradition here at the Nation Network. They who win the Battle of Alberta writes the next GDB on both sites. So buckle up Flames Fans because you are going to get it and we are going to give it to you.

For far too long Edmontonians and Calgarians have battled back and forth with the same old witty jabs and name calling.  Calgary has one Cup - a bra has two. Edmonton has no running water or intelligence of any sort. You have the Stampede, we have a free hot dog lunch in the parking lot of Bonnie Doon shopping mall. Yeah, yeah yeah. We get it.

This time around we are dispensing with the usual insults and getting to the heart of the matter of what is really wrong with you Calgary.

THIS IS US - THIS IS YOU

Oooooh. We get it Calgary. You are the rich neighbours to the South with all of your money and power and fancy high rise buildings. Everyone understands that at some point in the mid 90s all of our businesses picked up and moved down Highway 2. Well guess what? We were like 8 years old when that happened. Didn't care then - didn't care now.

Frankly you did us a favour Calgary. We will never figure out how jedi mind tricked the bulk of our corporate douchebags to pack up their drycleaned belongings and move three hours away but we thank you.

And while we watch the game tonight and see a bunch of non-plussed suit types sitting on their hands in the Saddledome in jerseys that still have their tags on we will thank the Gods that none of them are up here pretending to be Oilers fans anymore.

Good riddance.

US v YOU

Speaking of Flames fans where have they gone? We seem to remember a whole mess of people filing into your Red Mile during your ill fated Cup run. People all over the were quick to cheer for "KIPPPPPERRRRRRRR" and "IGGGGGYYY" and Company. And yet nowdays there don't seem to be nearly as many people up repping the flaming C.

That's probably because the bulk of people following aren't really Flames fans. They are sports consumers. When the milk is fresh you are all happy to have a glass. When the milk goes sour - no one will come within a hundred miles.

Contrast that with Edmonton. We have been drinking sour milk for so long we have developed a taste for it. In fact many of us now prefer it. Doesn't matter if the Oilers finish in last place every year until the end of time. Oilers fans are in the business of living and dying with the team. Anyone with any hockey sense at all would have abandoned this team years ago and yet here we are millions strong all around the world.

And luckily the Oil are on the verge of being awesome. While Calgary is going to gently float down to the bottom of the league until your 33 NTCs expire in 2035.

STILL US STILL YOU

Looking at your roster - who is there even to get excited about?! Iginla in the prime of the twilight of his fine career? Pfft. Steve Begin? Jiri Hudler? Who the hell are any of these old bastards anyway? There is literally not a single player on your entire roster that we could possibly get excited about. Anyone skilled is old. Anyone young is marginal. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad.

We remember when we were trying to convince ourselves that players like Roman Cervenka were going to be the answer. Our Cervenka had names like Cole and O'Sullivan. We hoped and prayed late into the night that they could find something deep down within themselves and become awesome. And guess what - it didn't work.

It never works. Your roster was built around a core and that core expired about 4 years ago. Now you are like the guy who went all in on a 5-3 offsuit with a hunch "things were going to look better after the flop." Well the flop came up all Kings and now you have nothing left to do but play out your hand.

And lose.

Losers.

AND SO IN CLOSING

There is literally nothing you can do to win this battle Flames fans. Even if the Oilers lose (and they may) they are still the far superior team and we both know it. Even if the Flames win by 10 goals it will be no more satisfying than being given a free shrimp cocktail at a banquet on the Titanic. You are headed to the bottom and everyone on board is starting to sense disaster.

And there isn't an insult in the book you can lob our way that will have any impact. Yes we are  your hillbilly cousins up Highway 2. We are eternal optimists who have had a crap team and lacked the brain stem or the reality check to realize it. Now after being rewarded for coming in last for so long we have an embarassment of riches for a lineup and 18 year old Russian superstars sliding all over while we lose our drunken minds in celebration.

Its all happening up here and nothing is happening down there and you would be madder except that most of your bandwagon jumping fans have left long ago. Perhaps we should lend you the terms "ELPH" and "Shitanusly bad hockey." They got us through some dark days.

Oh and it's Wayne Gretzky's birthday today. Remember him?

GAME DAY PREDICTION: This is as easy to predict as getting some drunk Calgary tramp girl to flash her boobs during the only Cup run Calgarians will witness in the next two decades...Oilers win 5-2.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: One thing Flames and Oiler fans can agree on is it is great not having Mark Lee call the game on HNIC. Also buckle up it could be a long game with Tom Kowal and Greg Kimmerly reffing the game. They are as blind as the guys who thought every Calgary tramp girl who flashed on the red mile was hot.

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: During the second period one of the mics at ice level picks up the audio from a conversation between Jarome Iginla and Jordan Eberle.

"Hey Ebs, tell Tambo I'd gladly waive my non-trade clause and come play with you guys." Eberle smiles and replies, "You betcha, but I hope you are okay playing on the 2nd line." Iginla smiles, "No problem, at least I'd have a chance to make the playoffs again." Within moment the Nations blow up with talk of a possible trade. Flames fans start calling him "Judas", while Oiler fans calmly sit back knowing that Iginla speaks the truth.

Thanks to Gregor for giving me his Game Day Predictions

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#151 Walter Sobchak
January 26 2013, 07:58PM
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DSF wrote:

Uh, Cervenka is 5'11" 200

He's built like a tank.

Hudler scored 25 goals and 50 points playing 3rd line minutes in Detroit last season.

That's significantly more than Horcoff, Smyth, Hemsky and Jones.

Ok, there so much better the Oilers 3rd line collectively? No there not.

If you’re saying that the third line will somehow win Calgary the game then good for you, I don’t see it.

I know you being of an intelligent hockey mind deep down you don’t see it. You know it and I know it.

Calgary has played well, yes, just not good enough.........sound familiar, sounds like a team that has tried to make the playoffs but just falls short, heard this story before?

There done, there bad, there not getting any better, there not going to get better, what do they have to use to get better with?

Stajan will not somehow get better playing with better players, if anything he will drag that line down, like somehow he will gain new talent, doesn’t make sense to bank on that if you’re a coach.

That’s almost like saying Hordichuck will get better playing with Eberle or RNH

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#152 schevvy
January 26 2013, 08:04PM
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Well, let's just be thankful we're both not the Leafs.

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#153 Walter Sobchak
January 26 2013, 08:05PM
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schevvy wrote:

Well, let's just be thankful we're both not the Leafs.

This is so true!

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#154 DSF
January 26 2013, 08:05PM
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Walter Sobchak wrote:

Ok, there so much better the Oilers 3rd line collectively? No there not.

If you’re saying that the third line will somehow win Calgary the game then good for you, I don’t see it.

I know you being of an intelligent hockey mind deep down you don’t see it. You know it and I know it.

Calgary has played well, yes, just not good enough.........sound familiar, sounds like a team that has tried to make the playoffs but just falls short, heard this story before?

There done, there bad, there not getting any better, there not going to get better, what do they have to use to get better with?

Stajan will not somehow get better playing with better players, if anything he will drag that line down, like somehow he will gain new talent, doesn’t make sense to bank on that if you’re a coach.

That’s almost like saying Hordichuck will get better playing with Eberle or RNH

Hey, I'm hardly a big fan of Stajan or the Flames but Oiler fans really downplay the moves Feaster made in the offseason.

Hudler and Cervenka are very good acquisitions and I expect both will move up in the lineup as they get comfortable.

I would expect they will be better than the Horcoff, Smyth, Whomever line, right out of the gate.

Hordichuk is a waste of oxygen...been run out of town in several other organizations.

It would be great if one of these teams could take a step forward this season to give the Canucks some competition since next year the Canucks and Wild will be playing in different divisions.

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#155 Oilertown
January 26 2013, 08:16PM
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DSF wrote:

Hey, I'm hardly a big fan of Stajan or the Flames but Oiler fans really downplay the moves Feaster made in the offseason.

Hudler and Cervenka are very good acquisitions and I expect both will move up in the lineup as they get comfortable.

I would expect they will be better than the Horcoff, Smyth, Whomever line, right out of the gate.

Hordichuk is a waste of oxygen...been run out of town in several other organizations.

It would be great if one of these teams could take a step forward this season to give the Canucks some competition since next year the Canucks and Wild will be playing in different divisions.

1 and 0 against the Nuckleheads bub.

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#156 OilClog
January 26 2013, 08:18PM
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Hurdler Stajan and Cervenka.. Are not better then Smyth, Horc, and whoever their linemate that night is.. Ever.

Anyone trying to suggest those 3 will have better careers, or be more impactful for their team over what Smyth and Horcoff bring to the Oilers, is clearly chewing on a mouth full of troll poop.

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#157 Kent Wilson
January 26 2013, 08:19PM
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Question is...who is going to fight Hordichuk tonight? WHO?

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#158 geoilersgist
January 26 2013, 08:19PM
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#EatSh!tFlames

That is all.

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#159 Oilertown
January 26 2013, 08:20PM
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@DSF and if your waiting on the flameouts you will be waiting an awful lot longer then the Oilers for competition.

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#160 Walter Sobchak
January 26 2013, 08:20PM
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DSF wrote:

Hey, I'm hardly a big fan of Stajan or the Flames but Oiler fans really downplay the moves Feaster made in the offseason.

Hudler and Cervenka are very good acquisitions and I expect both will move up in the lineup as they get comfortable.

I would expect they will be better than the Horcoff, Smyth, Whomever line, right out of the gate.

Hordichuk is a waste of oxygen...been run out of town in several other organizations.

It would be great if one of these teams could take a step forward this season to give the Canucks some competition since next year the Canucks and Wild will be playing in different divisions.

Hudler and Cervenka are a band aid, on a better team they might actually be better, but its a collective group that will drag the rest down....eventually.

I've seen it! witnessed it! Ray Whitney, Lupal, Satan it can go on and on.

I am no fan of Horcoff by any means, but I see the Oilers as the one that does take a step this year, I'm still saying above a lottery pick around 22nd overall.

Flames will be 29th or 30th.

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#161 Oilertown
January 26 2013, 08:22PM
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Kent Wilson wrote:

Question is...who is going to fight Hordichuk tonight? WHO?

Whoever Hordi picks knowing Iggy it will probably be him which I will take that trade off every day of the week.

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#162 OilClog
January 26 2013, 08:23PM
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Iginla will fight him, he's auditioning for the Oilers tough guy role. He just wants to win baby

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#163 Oilertown
January 26 2013, 08:25PM
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Walter Sobchak wrote:

Hudler and Cervenka are a band aid, on a better team they might actually be better, but its a collective group that will drag the rest down....eventually.

I've seen it! witnessed it! Ray Whitney, Lupal, Satan it can go on and on.

I am no fan of Horcoff by any means, but I see the Oilers as the one that does take a step this year, I'm still saying above a lottery pick around 22nd overall.

Flames will be 29th or 30th.

Please no I like seeing the flameouts out of lottery territory. Knowing them tho they will probably take some player nobody has heard of first overall haha.

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#164 Kent Wilson
January 26 2013, 08:26PM
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@Oilertown

I doubt they'll be on the ice at the same time.

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#165 schevvy
January 26 2013, 08:26PM
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Kent Wilson wrote:

Question is...who is going to fight Hordichuk tonight? WHO?

Stajan.

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#166 OilClog
January 26 2013, 08:27PM
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The player introduction music is slightly creepy.

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#167 OilClog
January 26 2013, 08:27PM
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Can Yakupov please come sliding up right now.

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#168 schevvy
January 26 2013, 08:27PM
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Cherry! Yeeesh that suit is awful!

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#169 OilHub
January 26 2013, 08:29PM
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Anyone have a different feed for the game I can't get cbc.

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#170 schevvy
January 26 2013, 08:30PM
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NO MARK LEE!!!!! GODDAMNIT NO

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#171 Dennis
January 26 2013, 08:31PM
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Well, I guess we'll see what moronic calls these bonehead refs make tonight. Total bush league.

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#172 Oilertown
January 26 2013, 08:34PM
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Kent Wilson wrote:

I doubt they'll be on the ice at the same time.

Ok you probably got me there. But seriously I hope Hordi just grabs someone and pummels them.

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#173 ChinookArch
January 26 2013, 08:34PM
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OilHub wrote:

Anyone have a different feed for the game I can't get cbc.

Try moving your rabbit ears.

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#174 schevvy
January 26 2013, 08:36PM
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Oh Gio...

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#175 Dennis
January 26 2013, 08:38PM
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OilHub wrote:

Anyone have a different feed for the game I can't get cbc.

Try here bud, they usually have feeds.

http://atdee.net/index2.php

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#176 schevvy
January 26 2013, 08:38PM
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Backs!!!!!

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#177 OilClog
January 26 2013, 08:38PM
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Goalie interference!! Right?

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#178 OilLeak
January 26 2013, 08:38PM
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Kent Wilson wrote:

Edmonton looking sharp early. Chances are 3-0 Oil.

I guess it didn't matter, damn.

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#179 ChinookArch
January 26 2013, 08:38PM
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💪😏

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#180 OilClog
January 26 2013, 08:39PM
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He punched in him the head!

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#181 Oilertown
January 26 2013, 08:39PM
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Wow can you say goalie interference.

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#182 schevvy
January 26 2013, 08:40PM
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Come on refs. That is a freakin goal

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#183 Smokey
January 26 2013, 08:40PM
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Goalie interference

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#184 Oilertown
January 26 2013, 08:40PM
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WOW!

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#185 Dennis
January 26 2013, 08:40PM
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WTF? No goalie interference there, yet there was on Thursday? Joke.

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#186 11yomamen
January 26 2013, 08:41PM
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Good for Backs, GOOD FOR US :o)

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#187 Smokey
January 26 2013, 08:41PM
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Hrudey was wrong, good for Calgary...

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#188 schevvy
January 26 2013, 08:41PM
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They can't review goalie interference btw. The review was for if he kicked it in

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#189 ChinookArch
January 26 2013, 08:42PM
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Welcome to the NHL Justin. Nice pik pocket.

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#190 Kent Wilson
January 26 2013, 08:42PM
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Go Backlund go.

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#191 Oilertown
January 26 2013, 08:42PM
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Flamers think they have a player in Baklund I don't see it.

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#192 negrilcowboy
January 26 2013, 08:43PM
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gawd cbc has gotta employ the worst of the worst.

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#193 Dennis
January 26 2013, 08:43PM
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schevvy wrote:

They can't review goalie interference btw. The review was for if he kicked it in

No, but they can hold an on ice conference, which they didn't do yet did two nights ago for the very same thing.

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#194 thednp
January 26 2013, 08:43PM
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unbiased view - that interference is almost exactly why they called back the goal on Thursday against the Kings. Same refs, totally opposite call.

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#195 Kent Wilson
January 26 2013, 08:46PM
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Flames first PP unit has been terrible at controlling the play so far this year.

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#196 OilClog
January 26 2013, 08:47PM
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I believe one of these refs is DSF or DSF related.

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#197 ChinookArch
January 26 2013, 08:48PM
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@thednp

Right, the refs are against Edmonton! No wait the NHL hates the Oilers.

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#198 Locksmithluke
January 26 2013, 08:48PM
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Pretty dissapointed in the officiating early on! These zebras have a hard on for the boys in copper an' blue!! Completely runs Dubnyk and all is well in Cowtown!

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#199 Kent Wilson
January 26 2013, 08:50PM
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Nation getting love from CBC.

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#200 Smokey
January 26 2013, 08:52PM
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Walter Sobchak wrote:

@ Smokey

Oh B.S!! You know it and I know it! If you can’t see the forest from your knees then the you know sh!t about hockey.

The Flames are one step away from falling into the abyss the same as the Oilers.

I thought CBJ was going to be the worst team in the NHL this year........I don't anymore.

Regardless of who wins this game there is no one in the world of hockey that would take the Flames or there prospect over the Oilers.

Hudler is the definition of " I seen him when he was good"

Stajan will be bought out post haste as soon as the season is done......FACT!!!!

Cervenka is a Fistric hit away from never playing again, what is he 5'9 150lbs, he is of zero NHL experience.

This is what you hang your hat on!!! Pure BullSh!t!!!!!!

Oh, by the way, the reason Gagner's line is - anything is from one game!

The Flames don't have the speed the Oilers do....FACT!

I don't know if you have a tendency to read into everything you read. Oh boy. The Gagner's line has bled chances, their no bull, straight facts...subjectively you've been blinded by their heroics. Did you watch Vancouver and SanJose. Sedins ate their lunch. Everyone stunk in San Jose. LA, they were sos o till the heroics.

By the way I'm an Oilers fan. I want the line to succeed but their aturnover waiting to happen, and I sure as hell want them to light it up.

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