HAVING A WEE NEXT TO MARC B

Wanye
October 11 2013 03:17PM

The rest of the Nation Network authors have brilliant insights on the game, use statistical models more appropriate for predicting the weather than NHL hockey or have players perspectives the rest of us can only dream of. Yeah well, your ol' pal Wanye stood next to a big name in the NHL in the little gentleman's room at RX1 last night.

Here comes some brilliant insight. You have been warned.

BACKSTORY

Our main man Mandeez and I chaperoned a pair of Edmonton's finest to the match last night. Naturally at intermission it was our game plan to ditch out and chug beers. We snuck away leaving the ladies talking about getting their nails permed our whatever it is girls talk about and ran to the beer dispensing station.

After a chugging competition was won by yours truly and a pair of those little $300 personal pizzas had gone down we somehow ended up on the opposite side of the arena near the press boxes. They say if you love something you have to set it free and that was the case at this point in the night. 

As anyone who has had 8 trillion Rexall Beers will tell you - at some point you are going to have to get those out. 

GAME TIME

And so minutes later two brave kids from the Canadian Prairies found themrselves standing in the epic 2nd intermission lineup at the Gentleman's Room next to a sharp looking chap in a fancy suit with a million dollar haircut.

Knowing only Oilers players and staff and not able to identify any opposing team personel we naturally assumed he was the President of the United Nations or something and ended up having a routine urinal line up chat as only red blooded men at a hockey game can.

The game so far, the weather, the ubiquitous joke where you look at the guy who hasn't moved from his urinal in ages and you telepathically ask each other "WTF is taking him so long?" That sort of thing.

We quickly deduced that we weren't talking to any ordinary joe as we watched no fewer than half a dozen habs fans walk up and shake his hand. After they had made a standing deposit in the porcelin bank if you catch my drift.

"Wow, you are a saint to be shaking hands with those fellas" we remarked to our new snazzy friend. "Well what am I to do these are the best fans in the world. I will wash my hands extra well on the way out" came his classy reply.

As three spots simultaneously opened up the three amigos stood shoulder to shoulder to shoulder. "Who in the hell am I standing next to?" we couldn't help but wonder. "Is it Elon Musk? The Mayor of Montreal? Some suit tycoon wearing his fall line?" Then we stopped to listen to what sounded like the entire room talking about the man.

"Holy cow that's Marc Bergevin. What's he doing here?"

"Wow Bergevin has to use the normal peple bathroom like the rest of us. Amazing."

"What an honour to be in the men's room with the GM of the Habs"

EXCITEMENT SHE WROTE

The GM of the Montreal Canadiens! The man must have Craig MacTavish's phone number on his phone! We are standing next to a man that employs the most famous moustache since Lanny MacDonald. What a world!

*cue immediate stage fright for the first time that we can recall in our entire life*

As we zipped up from the least satisfying phantom wee in the history of Northlands Coliseum we strutted up to watch the GM of the Habs giving his hands a scrub worthy of a doctor preparing for brain surgery.  

"Ah I didn't realize you were the boss of the Habs. You keep your dirty hands off of Jordan Eberle and you and me will be cool." He laughed, two freshly cleaned hands shook and we went around to the back of the line up again as there was still the matter of 8 Rexall Beers sloshing about in our innards.

NATIONDRAFTS

The second season of NationDrafts is closing off after the weekend. As it stands right now entries are rather light - almost half the field will be guaranteed a prize if we closed it off right now. Want a wicked chance at winning prizes that include a $1000 pre paid Visa card? Want to support our friends at Earth Group?

Why not swing by NationDrafts and try your luck. It's good karma leading into the weekend.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#2 The Oilers Shot Clock
October 11 2013, 04:05PM
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Be honest. You looked at it didnt you?

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#3 Czar
October 11 2013, 06:42PM
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I pissed on a Flame jersey.

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#4 The Oilers Shot Clock
October 11 2013, 04:23PM
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It's better to have a urinal stall beside Marc Bergevin than Joe Thorton I'm guessing.

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#5 Rama Lama
October 11 2013, 05:08PM
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I can't believe some people think this is music........I would much rather listen to Rosanne Barr sing the anthem.

This Rap is CRAP!

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#6 Archaeologuy
October 11 2013, 03:35PM
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I hope Mandeez is your nickname for Mayor Mandel and this story is just the tip of the iceberg in your Hangover-esque adventure.

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#7 The Oilers Shot Clock
October 11 2013, 04:30PM
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That's all I got.

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#8 Butters
October 11 2013, 06:15PM
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What you think you said: "Ah I didn't realize you were the boss of the Habs. You keep your dirty hands off of Jordan Eberle and you and me will be cool."

What Bergevin heard: ARRRJJ ARRZZ ARRJ Ebershe ARRJ cruel?

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#9 vetinari
October 11 2013, 04:41PM
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Why didn't you get him drunk and then send him over to talk trades with MacT???? Shameful!

*turns back to Wanye and crosses arms

"Good day to you, sir!"

"B-b-b-but?"

"I said 'Good Day!"

*walks away...

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#10 jeanshorts
October 11 2013, 05:11PM
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FINALLY someone took my constant email suggestions of "MOAR BATHROOM STORIES PLZ!" seriously!!

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#11 freeze
October 11 2013, 03:29PM
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Gold, Jerry! Gold!

I honestly thought this was going to be about some newfangled rapper called marc b.... I'm out of touch.

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#12 Darrell
October 12 2013, 06:57AM
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FMHL - four/five games in and the Flames are unbeaten and Oilers fans are chatting about famous pissing stories. This fn sucks and can't take much more of this BS!

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#13 Chipper
October 11 2013, 04:32PM
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Cool story Bro.

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#14 bigrroberto
October 11 2013, 04:54PM
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I had a pee next to Theo Fleury back in or around 2004, in Cowboys bar in Calgary. He was givin' er hard that night and could barely stand. Cool guy though.

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#15 916oiler
October 11 2013, 03:56PM
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That's a good story lol

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#16 jeanshorts
October 11 2013, 05:12PM
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@Rama Lama

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbgEh6EqC2w

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#17 Rama Lama
October 11 2013, 05:42PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbgEh6EqC2w

I now consider you my frriend..........much better music too!

Much Thanks

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#18 Ales Hallsky
October 11 2013, 06:21PM
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I peed next to dougie weight once and ales hemsky once.

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#19 God
October 12 2013, 08:15AM
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You should've asked Marc for his formula on turning a garbage team around into a division winner in just one wee year. Then send the info to K Lowe.

That Montreal game made me want to harm something cute and small. Now I know the Oil will be bullied by the Leafs tonight. The hell-year continues....

#oilersmanagementrebuild #morecoolaidplease

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#20 Oilcan
October 12 2013, 04:46PM
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Did you mention omark to him?

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#21 Dog Train
October 11 2013, 11:49PM
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I find it funny that he had to use the regular washrooms. A bunch of Habs fans shaking his hand after they finish their business and before they wash their hands.

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#22 PeOiler
October 12 2013, 12:14AM
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I pissed on a ninja once. At the camp-ground.

True story. Didn't end well...

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#23 Oilers Coffey
October 12 2013, 09:21AM
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Haha haha haha You keep your filthy mitts off of Eberle!!!!

That is the best "U" talk EVER!!!

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#24 Aitch
October 12 2013, 10:18AM
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Czar wrote:

I pissed on a Flame jersey.

Props or "Trash it" equally acceptable here.

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