GDB 12.0: COYOTES

Wanye
October 26 2013 12:49PM

 

The poor and sickly Phoenix Coyotes (6-3-2) play the Mighty Edmonton Oilers (3-7-1) today at the gentlemanly hour of 1 PM. There are only so many ways you can write about a last place Oilers team needing to pick up the pace and climb back into the thick of things. 

Here goes attempt #405,606.

AN ETERNITY OF WAIT

Is this all there is to look forward to as an Oilers fan? Getting up at the crack of noon to cheer on a last place Western Conference team against the crappy Coyotes who are somehow or other 6th place in the West despite being 1000 fold crappier than the Oil on paper?

No. One has to keep the faith against all odds that there is more than this in store for us. One has to believe the Oilers won't always be playing sub .500 hockey losing games they should win and forcing the perpetual witch hunt among Oilers fans trying to figure out "WHOSE FAULT IS THIS?! I WANT HEADS ROLLING DOWN STREETS DAMMIT"

The Oilers are far better and still losing than other seasons when they were frankly just bad and losing. It's a far different matter to be cheering for the first pick overall in the 2012 entry draft to turn around a slow start than expect Ryan Potulny to forget he is Ryan Potulny and lead the team out of the darkness.

We will all watch every Oilers game for the next 50 years regardless of result and they know it. It will come around we just have to sit tight and wait. 

*taps foot expectantly*

LINEUPS - GOOD GUYS

According to our newest friends over at DailyFaceOff.com the Oilers lineup is as follows this afternoon:

And the defensive corps will breakdown like so:

And finally the Oilers have elected to start LaBarbera in between the pipes against his former club.

LINEUPS - BAD GUYS

Given their brutal skill, low compete level and poor odour the Coyotes don't even go to the trouble of announcing their lineup prior to puck drop at their website. Luckily we can go back to DailyFaceOff who somehow figures these things out with uncanny accuracy.

HAHA you call that a lineup? BizNasty is still in the league? Antoine Vermette? How old is he like 145? This is gonna be a beat down of epic proportions.

Who the hell are any of these people? If we passed David Schlemko in the street we wouldn't cast him so much as a sideways glance. No no, these poor examples of NHL players won't have a prayer against the Mighty Oil this afternoon nor will Mike Smith - tasked with the unenviable duty of keeping the biscuit out of the basket for Phoenix this afternoon.

Good luck with that buddy.

*spits on the ground*

LOOKING AHEAD...

GAME DAY PREDICTION: The Oilers win 6-2 with Jordan Eberle netting two wonderous goals.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: The Oilers not picking Shane Doan in the 1995 Entry Draft will not go unnoticed by the announcers who will point out the stellar career Doan has gone on to have in the desert for what must be the millionth time.

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Steve Kelly, tired of the MSM calling him out year after year for not measuring up to the career of Shane Doan boycotts the NHL in its entirety for the next 30 years. No one notices.

So lets sit back and enjoy the match shall we? Win or lose lets all just sit back and take in the spectacle of it all. Hits, fights, cheers and the odd goal here and there if the Hockey Gods allow. Speaking of spectacles give the Ohio State marching band moonwalking across the field a quick look. It's pretty sick.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#2 EricOG
October 26 2013, 12:56PM
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Let's hope the coaching staff doesn't do something crazy.

Like, for instance putting a player who is low on confidence and with around 60 NHL games (#64) against the opposition's top line.

Wait, wasn't Yakupov up against Ovechkin last game???

Dumbass!!

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#3 Batfink
October 26 2013, 12:58PM
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1000 times crappier except in one department. We don't have the boobs behind Tippet. I guess Tippet wouldn't be a bad upgrade either.

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#4 Beans
October 26 2013, 01:01PM
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Vermette is 31...just saying Wayne. He has had a decent career so far too.

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#6 David S
October 26 2013, 01:04PM
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WANYE GDB'S FTW!!!

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#7 Doug Diggler
October 26 2013, 01:04PM
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haha gene is going to kill somebody with that golf ball

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#8 Beans
October 26 2013, 01:11PM
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Wanye wrote:

HE IS OLD AS SAND AND BADDER THAN BAD

Yes being better than .5 pts a game player in mostly shut down roles and PK is horrible. Throw in his durability...speed...man bad is bad is right! How is he still in the league?? Oh yah, he's a SOUND NHL'r.

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#9 vetinari
October 26 2013, 01:16PM
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Why can't we have nice things Wanye? Why?

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#12 David S
October 26 2013, 01:23PM
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The Coyotes are a bunch of dirty rotten filthy cheaters. EVERYONE KNOWS THIS!

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#13 Alsker
October 26 2013, 01:24PM
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Love these early/matinee games..no better excuse to open the beer fridge than Oil on the tube...wooohooo..what the coyotes??damn, main reason to add an extra 15 pack to the fridge...2-1 Oil in a "THRILLING" Tippet style game.

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#14 MessyEH!
October 26 2013, 01:26PM
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Wanye, how will you handle Eberle being traded to T.O?

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#15 Alsker
October 26 2013, 01:27PM
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Congrats to Pitlick!!!! If that had been against Dubby we'd have 4 articles bout finding a new goalie, rofl.

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#16 MessyEH!
October 26 2013, 01:28PM
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Did you just bitch slap me, through my phone?

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#17 vetinari
October 26 2013, 01:31PM
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Wanye wrote:

Because you did something bad as a child cursing us all. Question is: WHAT DID YOU DO

*hangs head in shame

I thought reanimating zombies and putting them in Oiler uniforms would work...

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#18 Alsker
October 26 2013, 01:36PM
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Hanzal left his feet, targetted the head, why the f^&k is he still in the game? Gazdic please introduce yourself to Mr.Hanzal!!!

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#19 Alsker
October 26 2013, 01:38PM
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MessyEH! wrote:

Did you just bitch slap me, through my phone?

Lol, not sure if he did but if Ebersqueee doesnt pocket a goal today you WILL feel the full force of a Wanye slap!

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#20 Beans
October 26 2013, 01:45PM
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Wanye wrote:

STOP SAYING THE COMPETITION IS GOOD THEY ARE ALL BRUTAL BEYOND WORDS

That's a pretty close minded statement from a hockey fan stand point. So when he Oil play Pitts...Crosby sucks and Malkin is horrible. Ovie was brutal the last 2 games they played us.

Dude it's great being an Oil fan...but if you're not a fan of the game and the talent we've grown to watch and appreciate, stop blogging. You are starting to sound like a Leafs fan.

Beans out.

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#21 Jordan Nugent-Hallkins
October 26 2013, 01:46PM
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Pitlick - love the player, hate the last name

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#22 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
October 26 2013, 01:47PM
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Beans wrote:

That's a pretty close minded statement from a hockey fan stand point. So when he Oil play Pitts...Crosby sucks and Malkin is horrible. Ovie was brutal the last 2 games they played us.

Dude it's great being an Oil fan...but if you're not a fan of the game and the talent we've grown to watch and appreciate, stop blogging. You are starting to sound like a Leafs fan.

Beans out.

it's ok everybody, you can call off the missing persons report for mr.serious. we found him, right here at the 'nation this whole time.

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#23 Alsker
October 26 2013, 01:50PM
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David S wrote:

The Coyotes are a bunch of dirty rotten filthy cheaters. EVERYONE KNOWS THIS!

For a sec there I thought i was in the Polllz section. Nice to see you, oh, we're winning so this will remain DSF free zone til the tide turns.

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#24 Mac962
October 26 2013, 01:51PM
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Good road period. Just dont get lulled to sleep by the Dave Tippet Yotes...

Come on Boys

Congrats Pit-licker ! Boxlick would have been much for suitable.

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#25 David S
October 26 2013, 01:54PM
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@Beans

So when he Oil play Pitts...Crosby sucks and Malkin is horrible. Ovie was brutal the last 2 games they played us.

NOW you're getting into the swing of things. They're all MASSIVE cheaters!

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#26 DSF
October 26 2013, 02:03PM
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Alsker wrote:

For a sec there I thought i was in the Polllz section. Nice to see you, oh, we're winning so this will remain DSF free zone til the tide turns.

HI!

Edit: Now look what you did.

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#27 Cynic
October 26 2013, 02:06PM
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It's called satire, children. Somebody break out some SCTV tapes.

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#28 fig pucker
October 26 2013, 02:21PM
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holy s***, we need a goalie neither labarbra or duby should ever be allowed in net again, i wouldn't give you a stale bag of chips for either one of thrse monkeys!

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#29 Alsker
October 26 2013, 02:24PM
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DSF wrote:

HI!

Edit: Now look what you did.

Restocked the fridge and come back to see we're losing and WTF, right on time, look who joins us!! Why is Hanzal still in this game/breathing?

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#30 Alsker
October 26 2013, 02:29PM
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Come on Eakins, under 4 min for Gadzic...really, not sure how we are to play tougher/more physical if our physical guys never see the ice. If Sammy(#27) could play with Gretz+Kurri Im sure the odd shift of Gazdic+Nuge+Eberle wouldnt be that bad.

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#32 Alsker
October 26 2013, 02:34PM
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fig pucker wrote:

holy s***, we need a goalie neither labarbra or duby should ever be allowed in net again, i wouldn't give you a stale bag of chips for either one of thrse monkeys!

ROFL...see post #15...ok, enough Bud time for rum!!!

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#33 baggedmilk
October 26 2013, 02:38PM
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@Wanye

HEY CHUMP! YOU GONNA STOP BLOGGING OR WHAT?!

BLOO BLOO *drools*

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#34 Alsker
October 26 2013, 02:41PM
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Now that was PRETTY!!!! Perron for MVP(about as obvious a statement I will make this year)!!Woooooohooooooo....

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#35 MessyEH!
October 26 2013, 02:43PM
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Ok, ordering a Perron jersey. Wish his number was better.

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#36 Alsker
October 26 2013, 02:43PM
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Poor play by Petry but there was no hook, he was too lazy to hook he just shoved the coyote...epic. 2 min for being too lazy to take a penalty!.

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#37 Wäx Män Riley
October 26 2013, 02:45PM
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Pitlick's knee??

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!

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#38 Lofty
October 26 2013, 02:48PM
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MessyEH! wrote:

Ok, ordering a Perron jersey. Wish his number was better.

Only guy scoring on the first two lines is also the only guy going to the net?

Wonder why that is?

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#39 MessyEH!
October 26 2013, 02:52PM
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Perron plays hockey. I mean real hockey. In your face. I liked ole wasis name. But I love perron.

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#40 Mac962
October 26 2013, 02:54PM
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Perron is a winner and hates to lose. We need a few more of him.

Lets go boys Rally caps on - BIG 3RD ....

Please.

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#41 Spydyr
October 26 2013, 03:00PM
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What the heck was LaBarbera doing showing some fire.Who does he think he is Roy?

Wonder what he said to get put back in?

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#42 Spydyr
October 26 2013, 03:02PM
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Wäx Män Riley wrote:

Pitlick's knee??

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!

Looked higher to me a charlie horse or hip.Anyhow welcome to the NHL kid keep your head up.

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#43 Wäx Män Riley
October 26 2013, 03:14PM
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Spydyr wrote:

Looked higher to me a charlie horse or hip.Anyhow welcome to the NHL kid keep your head up.

Maybe. I thought it looked like he was grabbing his knee as he skated off.

Either way, I'm sure someone will say we need more toughness, and that is why injuries keep happening.

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#44 Spydyr
October 26 2013, 03:18PM
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Wäx Män Riley wrote:

Maybe. I thought it looked like he was grabbing his knee as he skated off.

Either way, I'm sure someone will say we need more toughness, and that is why injuries keep happening.

So if he is out does Omark get the call up or do they try to replace Pitlick's skill set?

I would get Omark up just don't let him read any Thornton quotes .We don't need any locker room distractions.

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#45 Poolanov
October 26 2013, 03:26PM
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Time to waive bye bye to laBanana

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#46 Alsker
October 26 2013, 03:28PM
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Ok this is getting a little silly, Petrys was no hook, not sure what ference's penalty was but really, do they get a bonus for non-penalties called?(yah I know, take off the rose colored glasses but really????). I'm still choked as to why Hanzal wasnt turfed after his hit on Petry!!!!!!

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#47 Alsker
October 26 2013, 03:29PM
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Spydyr wrote:

So if he is out does Omark get the call up or do they try to replace Pitlick's skill set?

I would get Omark up just don't let him read any Thornton quotes .We don't need any locker room distractions.

We have enough guys who dont play in our end of the ice we dont need another!!!

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#48 Naky
October 26 2013, 03:29PM
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Eakins should have stuck with his instinct to pull a goaltender fighting the puck and not let him convince him out of it. Lesson learned for a rookie coach, I hope. That being said, the Oilers gotta stay out of the box especially with a PK as bad as theirs. Still, I feel like this was a game Dubnyk could have had in the bag.

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#49 Poolanov
October 26 2013, 03:37PM
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Huge game...better start the back up?????????

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#50 Alsker
October 26 2013, 03:37PM
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So where is this urgency/drive for the other 58 minutes? Another 2 points we should have had...really tired of this same old same old.

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