HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAYLOR HALL

Wanye
November 14 2013 11:23AM

According to the internetz and the 500 girls under 16 that I talk to on Twitter daily it's Taylor Hall's birthday. Nothing like a momentus occasion to put things in perspective. 

HEY TAY TAY

Oh hey bud. Heard it's your birthday. We remember our 22nd birthday. Shooters for days, girls we hadn't heard from in ages randomly texting "happy birthday lol have a shot for me" and all the rest. We can only imagine it's the same for you but on steroids. We bet 3% of the text messages sent in Edmonton today are chicks sending you their best. Heady times these aren't they?

Yeah well it might also be a time to take a minute from all the snapchats to think about the life you are leading.

Here's a thought. We can only imagine the dreams of Cup wins that ran through your head as you tore minor hockey a new one and sliced through Junior Hockey like a hot knife through butter. You trained harder than all, worked on every aspect of your game and succeeded more than everyone else on Earth in your draft year.

First pick - not bad at all. Legendary in fact.

But that was four years ago homie. Fast forward to 22. You are running a very real chance of becoming a Jay Bouwmeester type player. Supremely talented, very very well compensated. But your Championship fire is going out by the day and at this rate you are going to have an empty NHL career where important wins are few and far between. Do you really want to be the next Rick Nash?

We will birthday remind you that you are a two time Memorial Cup winner who put the team on his back and led them to victory. You used to know how to pay the price to win at all costs. You made players around you way better, you found a way to win. 

What happened to the guy calmly smiling with the Trophy? That guy was about one thing and one thing only. Wins. Now what are you about exactly?

Is this really what you want for your life? Losing game after game and having people look at you sideways at the mall as they whisper about how crappy your team is? Sitting around the dressing room with a once in a lifetime collection of first round draft picks who sit idly by watching losses stack to the moon?

GROW UP - LEVEL UP

You have the entire hockey world by the balls. You have the millions, you have the long term contract. You are playing in a market that worships you like a God despite the fact you have delivered nothing to date in your career that will be remembered in a generation.

You have everything that kids dream about as they play street hockey with buddies or stay late after practice firing pucks while all the soft kids go eat chips. You are squarely at the crossroads of "Boss Street" and "Lost it all Avenue."

How do you want to look back on your career when you are old and grey? On the one hand you can say "yeah I went first overall and went to Edmonton. We stacked up sick players but we couldn't find a way to win. Then I got traded and was never the franchise player I once was ever again."

On the other hand you can dig deep and rekindle the fire that made you one of the most dominant OHL players in a generation. You can be the guy who took a few years to find his footing but then found a new gear and was vaulted into the pantheon of Oilers legends. Gretzky did it. Messier did it. Doug Weight did it. Will you find the balls to shake off the bad first chapter of your first career and get things back on track? 

It's the biggest challenge of your 22 year old life and whether you admit it now or let the realization you had it all and lost it haunt you in the middle of the night when you are celebrating your 44th birthday years from now is up to you. Ask around. Find out how Alexandre Daigle is feeling in retirement with all his cash. I bet it ain't pretty.

Puck bunnies get old and fade away. Millions get spent or become an embarassing reminder of how you were paid to deliver and didn't. Winning and delivering live forever. Look around Edmonton - we are still in the shadow of players who delivered 25 years ago for heaven's sakes.

If you were some marginal crumb of a player who is incapable of righting the ship we wouldn't be so bothered by it all. You are Taylor Hall for heaven's sake.

Go make that mean something again.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 SmokeyXIII
November 14 2013, 11:58AM
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Hey Taylor if you see Yakupov's balls, Eberle's balls, or Nuge's balls in your quest for your own balls please grab their balls and return the balls to their respective ball-less owners. We won't tell anyone you touched the balls.

Thanks.

Balls.

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#2 Fish
November 14 2013, 01:32PM
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If he's having a birthday party, Taylor will likely be pretty disappointed and lonely. The team has made a habit of not showing up.

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#3 -30-
November 14 2013, 11:44AM
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Wow! Wanye that was the best thing I have read all year!

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#5 Wohin gehst du?
November 14 2013, 12:17PM
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Hey Hallsy, you graduated from highschool. Yakupov is your teammate. Your birthday present is growing up and apologizing to him.

This is entirely based on comments I have read before about his apparent shunning of Yak during games. If I am wrong, I eat my words.

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#6 geoilersgist
November 14 2013, 11:35AM
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HAPPY BDAY TAYLOR! MY FISTS ARE IN THE AIR FOR YOUR GLORIOUS DAY OF BIRTH

NOW GO WIN HOCKEY GAMES

Great article Wanye!

GO GET'EM TAYLOR

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#9 The_CWD_GarbageMan
November 14 2013, 11:52AM
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As my boy Razor Ramon used to say Tay,

"Da Ladies, dey just for fuhn."

"Don't Sing it. Bring it."

Chico.

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#11 Danger Pay
November 14 2013, 11:37AM
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Happy Birthday, don't let the shame of consistent losing spoil it for you!?

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#12 Common Man
November 14 2013, 05:18PM
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@Wayne

If you're gunna be so crtical of Hall (which you have every right to be)

I expect you to be just as critical to Eberble....

If not....then I question you man

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#13 Hauk15
November 14 2013, 03:08PM
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Watch Taylor Hall's interview. At 1:34 when responding to some question about the future he says "next ye...you know tomorrows a new opportunity". He was about to say next year is a new opportunity. The team has given up. They are already looking forward to next season in November. My god, what a joke.

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#14 2004Z06
November 14 2013, 02:11PM
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Wanye,

Will you be providing a similar heartfelt request to Jordan Eberle?

Just curious, could you also please ask him to back check once in awhile? Thanks.

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#18 vetinari
November 14 2013, 01:58PM
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Wanye wrote:

At some point I expect the twenty somethings being paid millions by the elderly management types to keep their end of the bargain up. He should get pumped up because he in the NHL with a team he can call his own.

@Wanye-- you're scaring me with your steely resolve and infallible logic... are you... are you... sober???

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#19 Mc962
November 14 2013, 12:32PM
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Awesome- that pumped the living sheet out of me ! i wish someone could get him to read this - perhaps he does. That article rocked.

In Taylor we Believe ! Lead us Back Young Warrior.

Happy Birthday T. Hall - just as it will appear on Stanley one day.

T.HALL R.NUGENT-HOPKINS C.MCDAVID J.EBERLE

LOL ..... Ouch.

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#20 The 'Real' Ron Burgundy
November 14 2013, 11:36AM
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As if you need 16 year old girls on Twitter to inform you when Taylor Hall's birthday is!

I've seen the count-down calendars in "Wayne Manor"

*and by seen, I mean been told by someone with first hand knowledge of the inner workings of the Manor*

RB

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#23 laughing pug
November 14 2013, 12:01PM
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Man I hope T.H. stumbles upon this somehow. Wanye is hurting man. I don't want to see him like this.

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#24 vetinari
November 14 2013, 12:20PM
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He's the first of the lottery kids and has the greatest potential to lead them to the promised land... that is... if the fires of competitiveness don't go out first...

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#25 vetinari
November 14 2013, 02:52PM
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Hauk15 wrote:

MacT stated to the press today that "coaching is not an issue". He showed no regard to Eakins failed systems and failure as an NHL coach. Fire them all Katz. Every one of them. Fire Laforge. Fire Lowe. Fire MacT. Fire Eakins. Fire Smith. Fire Buchberger. They have had SEVEN YEARS! They have done nothing. This organization needs new leadership. Not dynasty status players from the 80's.

@Haulk15 - don't talk in riddles, man... are you suggesting that we should fire someone???

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#26 Rob...
November 14 2013, 03:30PM
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Wanye wrote:

LOL IM GONNA TRY HARDER TOO. LOOK OUT UNDERGROUND DUTCH PORNOGRAPHY INDUSTRY

Sorry dude, OH&S shut that down. Too many women getting hit in the head by their clogs.

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#27 Hauk15
November 14 2013, 02:47PM
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MacT stated to the press today that "coaching is not an issue". He showed no regard to Eakins failed systems and failure as an NHL coach. Fire them all Katz. Every one of them. Fire Laforge. Fire Lowe. Fire MacT. Fire Eakins. Fire Smith. Fire Buchberger. They have had SEVEN YEARS! They have done nothing. This organization needs new leadership. Not dynasty status players from the 80's.

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#28 Dog Train
November 14 2013, 05:24PM
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Happy birthday Hall. Hopefully the rest of your career involves a lot less injuries and a lot more wins.

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#29 Chainsawz
November 14 2013, 08:34PM
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I know this will probably get a lot of Trash It's, but Hall might be able to do a lot of growing up in a market where hockey isn't #1. Could be the best for him but would suck for the Oil. I just think his rock star status here is negatively effecting him and possibly the locker room. I really hope I am wrong though.

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#30 Spydyr
November 14 2013, 01:37PM
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Fish wrote:

If he's having a birthday party, Taylor will likely be pretty disappointed and lonely. The team has made a habit of not showing up.

Ohhhhh snap!

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#31 Oilitsinyoutogive
November 14 2013, 01:43PM
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first of all Wanye, after all these years you think people would finnaly learn to spell your name. Secondly, this should be sent to hallzy so he can seriouslly ponder it. well said, well put and couldnt agree more.

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#32 A-Mc
November 14 2013, 12:46PM
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This was a great speech! I'm going to print it off and change all the "Taylor"s to my son's name so that i can pump him up after a bad soccer game next summer.. my son is only 4 and can't play hockey, but lets be honest: he doesnt know wtf the OHL is anyway.

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#33 Dallas Eakins' Magnificent Forehead
November 14 2013, 01:02PM
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@Wanye

Holy Hell. It IS Wanye, not Wayne...

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#34 Shredder
November 14 2013, 01:19PM
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The Fall for Hall was an epic slogan. I will never forget the excitement that brewed as we got the chance to draft Hallsy, and that slogan got me pumped. It was way cooler than "this is sad. Let's take Ekblad" or "Oilers don't stink, that was a fart. Ok, ok, let's get Reinhart"...or maybe next year's "the season? don't save it. Let's take Connor McDavid"...

Poetry will get me through this.

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#35 TDSM31
November 14 2013, 04:26PM
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2004Z06 wrote:

Wanye,

Will you be providing a similar heartfelt request to Jordan Eberle?

Just curious, could you also please ask him to back check once in awhile? Thanks.

Yeah....and no more than six toe drags per game please.

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#36 Hemmercules
November 14 2013, 11:43AM
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Happy B day Taylor. Please don't request a trade from this horrible team (if you haven't already, or is that just Russians that do that?).

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#37 916oiler
November 14 2013, 12:13PM
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Don't try to make him skip town...ON HIS BIRTHDAY!! Come on Wayne...

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#38 A-Mc
November 14 2013, 12:44PM
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Wanye wrote:

I don't want him to skip town. I want him to nut up and become a player we will all tell our grandkids about.

You mean: we want him to Nut up and become Matt Duchene!

Duchene is something special... That kid impresses me: always has.

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#39 dennis
November 14 2013, 02:30PM
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You make it sound like it's taylor hall's fault the oilers suck?

.85 points per game is elite status. Up there with tavares, skinner, couture, seguin, kessel etc...

Besides a few unfortunate injuries, and playing on the worst team in the NHL over the last 7+ years I don't see how he can do any more for this club.

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#40 oilerman53
November 14 2013, 05:33PM
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Drunk white wimminz for everyone on Whyte Ave tonight!!!

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#41 Wax Man Riley
November 14 2013, 06:22PM
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The 'Real' Ron Burgundy wrote:

That sucks, and here I was trying write something facetiously to get included with the Kool Kids and it totally backfires.

*and my mom said 'don't worry Ron, no one will ever be able to tell you're dyslexic'*

RB

Don't worry. there is now a dyslexia for cure found.

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#42 ReJ
November 14 2013, 12:03PM
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He's 22

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#43 Citizen David
November 14 2013, 12:16PM
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Good article. Happy Birthday Hall

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#44 The Hall Way
November 14 2013, 03:13PM
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Wanye..... this seriously is the greatest thing i have ever read. Not only did it make me almost tear up, it made me want to do my job that much better!!! Watch out Insurance World!!!

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#45 The 'Real' Ron Burgundy
November 14 2013, 12:16PM
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Wanye wrote:

Its Wan-ye Manor and we aren't Taylor Hall fans up in here.*

*Except @17samb he loves him

That sucks, and here I was trying write something facetiously to get included with the Kool Kids and it totally backfires.

*and my mom said 'don't worry Ron, no one will ever be able to tell you're dyslexic'*

RB

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#46 Bloodsweatandoil
November 14 2013, 01:30PM
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Hall and a few others are probably sick of the environment in the last few years. Management isn't really helping the cause. What is there to get him pumped up?

Still, after these multiple years of the re-build, the Oilers do not have a core or nucleus, they still only have three guys to build around.(maybe a few more)

How much longer would you want to be here if you were in Halls shoes? The efforts all futility.

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#47 Bloodsweatandoil
November 14 2013, 02:03PM
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Wanye wrote:

At some point I expect the twenty somethings being paid millions by the elderly management types to keep their end of the bargain up. He should get pumped up because he in the NHL with a team he can call his own.

Nicely played Wanye,

I was taking a shot in the dark due to his body language and others that are displayed, combined with my inside thoughts.

The key to some of this situation with Hall and the others is probably in your insight, personal affirmation;

"Holy Hell!! Every morning when I wake up, I am still in the NH effin L"!!!!

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#48 Fresh Mess
November 14 2013, 02:20PM
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Based on MacLooselips comments on TSN, I'd say he may need to go too.

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#49 Oilers G- Nations Poet Laureate
November 14 2013, 04:52PM
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Shredder wrote:

The Fall for Hall was an epic slogan. I will never forget the excitement that brewed as we got the chance to draft Hallsy, and that slogan got me pumped. It was way cooler than "this is sad. Let's take Ekblad" or "Oilers don't stink, that was a fart. Ok, ok, let's get Reinhart"...or maybe next year's "the season? don't save it. Let's take Connor McDavid"...

Poetry will get me through this.

Leave the poetry

to the Poet Laureat

of the Nations dude

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#50 Rheal1
November 14 2013, 05:17PM
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Listening to 1260 am... MacT speaks on and on and on..... there must be a disconnect with what he says. Step 1: Get rid of the assistant coaches. Hire better ones and then wait another 20 games.

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