FGD: Suck It

Justin Azevedo
November 16 2013 03:30PM

Oilers Flames Hockey

Via halifaxdrunk

Originally, this was going to be a sob piece.

Man, was it ever going to be beautiful. Our cities' respective teams are both, in a word, repugnant. Flawed management persists, coaches play favourites, people still buy tickets and no one wins. There's so many reasons why fans of these two teams are alike.

But then I thought that wallowing in sadness wasn't really in the spirit of the Battle of Alberta.

So then I thought I would write about the juxtaposition of the Oilers (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) against the Flames, (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team than they have, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) because the two teams are obviously so different. But that was a garbage idea too.

So, let's be honest here - in terms of the hockey game out there tonight, there's not really much to care about because both of these teams suck for so many reasons. Thus, that concludes your game preview.

 

Haha, man, you really did think that was the end, didn't you? Wouldn't be surprised. You are from Edmonton. Hell, I'm surprised you've even made it this far without slumping over and drooling on your keyboard.

 

I came to the conclusion that what I really should be writing about is how f***ing bad Edmonton is.

  • Every single one of your sports teams is garbage. They've all fallen, and they can't get up.
  • Seriously, what the f*ck is "#GOilers"? Goilers sounds like a mutated version of herpes.
  • H and E are really all that's left and E bleeds shot attempts. How awesome is that contract going to look in like, oh, 8 months ago?

Clean Hit

  • What in the blue f*ck is this stupid "squeeee" bullsh*t? "I'm going to make the most annoying noise possible when my favourite overrated player does anything remotely positive because LOL!" Good thing Eberle doesn't do much good often. 

GAZE UPON YOUR GOD, WHO HAS FORSAKEN YOU

  • God Edmonton media is just the worst, too. "Let's run every talented player who doesn't speak english out of town! GRIT! TOUGHNESS! GAZDICCCCCCCCCCCCCCC"

"Oh Yeah He Totally Won That One"

  • I had to drive through Edmonton on my way to Bonnyville this summer. Even passing through the city was terrible. The roads look like the pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker. Even the "engineering wonder" that is the Anthony Henday is terrible in comparison to Calgary's ring road. Ours is going to be done when yours is even though it's longer (25 kms) and it started like a decade later.
  • I guess living within explosion distance of refineries makes up for the 2 cent difference in gas.
  • Does anyone really even give a sh*t about West Edmonton Mall anymore? All it is is monolithic, ugly and out-of-date.
  • Haha the downtown arena man that's a horrible idea huge waste of money
  • Oh that's still going forward okay then lol
  • Also looks like sperm

This was actually on the city's website. Seriously.

  • Can a city really be called a city of champions if no one ever wins anything?
  • Why are there hundreds of jacked up trucks that are always sparkling clean?
  • 2011's Homicide Capital of Canada!

Edmonton Sun, Jan. 1, 2012

  • Capital Ex (or Klondike days or whatever it's called) is basically the ginger who writes "butts" as an answer on his test compared to the A+ student that is the Calgary Stampede.
  • http://walkingdeadmonton.tumblr.com
  • We even hate Toronto, Vancouver and Montréal better than you do!

In summary,

Love, Justin

A9d138d0e612f28cd46f9b7057ed715d
Justin is a 22-year-old Flames fan who also happens to be pursuing a double major at the University of Calgary. He has played hockey at high levels, enjoys wearing shorts and tends to drink far too much Grasshopper. Please don't hate him.
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#201 Drowning in Oil
November 16 2013, 09:41PM
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Remember when Eberle scored that amazing highlight reel goal against the Flames in the season opener a few years back. Oh, so much hope back then........... Look how far we have come!!

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#202 outdoorzguy
November 16 2013, 09:42PM
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"Another give away, shoots, scores". Fire the entire management team or start trading off some of these prima donna kids. This team has no future. It belongs in Kansas City!! What an outright disgrace to not only the city of Edmonton but to the NHL and professional sports. I'm disgusted. But hey Oiler fan, make sure you get a good parking spot when you go to the next home game. Keep enabling this team, it' management and ownership by puting more $$$$$ into the team and Katz's pocket. What a disgrace!,,

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#203 Harlie
November 16 2013, 09:42PM
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Fricken Chrysler plant, here we come.

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#204 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 09:42PM
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How much does Kevin Lowe get paid? Seriously Katz nut up your team is huge joke.

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#205 Alsker
November 16 2013, 09:43PM
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Holy f^ck we make any team look good. Just got in so haven't endured this sh*tshow yet. 2 minutes and see what half dozens giveaways and woohoo a goal for the fLames. Why the f*ck is Arco sitting again? I've been against Eakins being tossed but now screw it...Fire Lowe..Fire Eakins..Fire the management team..

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#206 Stack Pad Save
November 16 2013, 09:43PM
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Can any one tell me why on earth the Oilers called up Klefbom just to send him back down and than let that time bomb in his own end Potter play? Did he really have 3 giveaways in his own end before the flames scored that 2nd goal? Seriously WTF.

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#207 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:45PM
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Oilers are losing to a team with half the talent and twice the work ethic. Get the coaches organized and friggin work like the flames. The proof is in the pudding.

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#208 Ryan Pike
November 16 2013, 09:45PM
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Flames are playing their game - counter-punch, keeping opposition to outside and whatnots. Solid 40 minutes so far.

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#209 outdoorzguy
November 16 2013, 09:47PM
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Reg Dunlop wrote:

Nice to see 3 phlegms rough up little Nuge with the rest of the oil AWOL. Will an embarrassing shutout loss tonight be enough to get the attention of Katz?

Hard to call them phlegms when their lousy ass is kicking our lousier ass!!

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#210 Drowning in Oil
November 16 2013, 09:47PM
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I can't be the only one that cringes with the ice time Smyth gets. I realize he is an absolute penalty killing juggernaut but my god. Eakins has a chub for this guy!!

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#211 Serious Gord
November 16 2013, 09:48PM
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Alsker wrote:

Holy f^ck we make any team look good. Just got in so haven't endured this sh*tshow yet. 2 minutes and see what half dozens giveaways and woohoo a goal for the fLames. Why the f*ck is Arco sitting again? I've been against Eakins being tossed but now screw it...Fire Lowe..Fire Eakins..Fire the management team..

Arco. Bella!! Couldn't get into cgy in time - lots of flight delays due to weather.

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#212 Reality Check to the head
November 16 2013, 09:48PM
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If people are going to use the deaths related to the floods in southern Alberta as an excuse to delete posts...maybe the writer of this blog entry shouldn't mention edmonton being the murder capital of Canada in 2011. Hypocrites.

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#213 negrilcowboy
November 16 2013, 09:48PM
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Ryan Pike wrote:

Flames are playing their game - counter-punch, keeping opposition to outside and whatnots. Solid 40 minutes so far.

feet movin and pucks to the net

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#214 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 09:49PM
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I'm embarrased for the oiler fans... being so open with the self loathing because they have become accustomed to it... i cant even bring myself tto pile on, as they are so wounded and defenceless

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#215 RexHolez
November 16 2013, 09:49PM
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@Stack Pad Save

Talk about raising the kids hopes, making him rush to make the game, fly all night and then, in great Oiler fashion shatter all hope with mismanagement

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#216 Alsker
November 16 2013, 09:50PM
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@Serious Gord

Thx, thought it was just a brainfart by management...

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#217 Reg Dunlop
November 16 2013, 09:51PM
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Making random changes should work out occasionally. Random decisions sometimes are right. It takes a real talent to have every decision backfire and every change prove disastrous. Eakins is like an anti-savant.

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#218 Hemmercules
November 16 2013, 09:51PM
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Drowning in Oil wrote:

I can't be the only one that cringes with the ice time Smyth gets. I realize he is an absolute penalty killing juggernaut but my god. Eakins has a chub for this guy!!

Without smytty the oilers shave zero net presence. Zero. They are so soft that the oldest guy on the team has to do all the dirty work. He almost got a couple dirties and tips tonight.

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#219 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 09:52PM
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Drowning in Oil wrote:

I can't be the only one that cringes with the ice time Smyth gets. I realize he is an absolute penalty killing juggernaut but my god. Eakins has a chub for this guy!!

He gets the PP time that Perron should be playing, I hate Eakins why he still has a job is beyond me. 4-16-2 after tonight. Brutal.

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#220 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:52PM
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@Jeff In Lethbridge

Pile away Jeff. Many fans have given up on this team getting better for a sustained period untill Lowe is gone. Ball is in Katz corner. At this point he is the only one who can make the changes that will make a difference.

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#221 outdoorzguy
November 16 2013, 09:54PM
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I'm really impressed tat my tax dollars are going to support the building of a new arena that will house this Junior B team. It wouldn't be so bad if there was some hope. But hope went out the window about 2 years ago. This team has been terrible for the last 14 years. We got a lucky run in 2006 (remember, we made the playoffs on the last night by 1 point). I have a hard time sending my tax dollars to millionaires who work for a billionaire who as group really have no work ethic or ambition to improve themselves in their chosen line of work. Sad.

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#222 Fresh Mess
November 16 2013, 09:55PM
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Good opportunity here for the oilers to trade away a goallie for good valu

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#223 Sizzler
November 16 2013, 09:56PM
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Note to the oilers management.....Drafting kids and adding AHL or KHL defensemen is not called REBUILD. Based on Mact's latest comments "toughest challenge is not to do anything extreme" I think they still have no idea of how to put together a team.

Klowe should be fired because he has been supervising this lack of rebuild.

Eakins recognized in the off season that " he thinks smyth has a few years left"....that tells me he doesnt know whats required to play in the big show.

Rookie GM + Rookie coach + Raw Player.....sounds like an AHL setting.

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#224 SmellOfVictory
November 16 2013, 09:56PM
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Reality Check to the head wrote:

If people are going to use the deaths related to the floods in southern Alberta as an excuse to delete posts...maybe the writer of this blog entry shouldn't mention edmonton being the murder capital of Canada in 2011. Hypocrites.

Not an entirely unreasonable point, although there is a level of abstraction between a general statistic and a specific event. That's somewhat important.

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#225 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:56PM
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Alsker wrote:

Thx, thought it was just a brainfart by management...

Total brainfart. Mac t sends down one of his most consistent players to make room for a d man who doesn't even play a game. Then calls him back up the next game. How many flights did arco take for no reason whatsoever.

Most businesses don't have the profit margin to be that careless with money. Must be nice

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#226 Drowning in Oil
November 16 2013, 09:56PM
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Hauk15 wrote:

He gets the PP time that Perron should be playing, I hate Eakins why he still has a job is beyond me. 4-16-2 after tonight. Brutal.

Hammer - nail - head.......... Bang on, this team is a disaster from top to bottom. Really nice to see Calgary's #6 overall outshine our 3 (in a row) #1 overalls!!

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#227 ChinookArch
November 16 2013, 09:57PM
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I can't watch the game. Only one question, did McGrattan win the fight?

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#228 outdoorzguy
November 16 2013, 09:58PM
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Buffalo makes "BOLD MOVES" and has half as many wins in the two games they've played since the changes than we have all season. Eakins is at best an AHL coach (and that's debatable, he had one good year). Get the broom out.

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#229 outdoorzguy
November 16 2013, 09:58PM
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Buffalo makes "BOLD MOVES" and has half as many wins in the two games they've played since the changes than we have all season. Eakins is at best an AHL coach (and that's debatable, he had one good year). Get the broom out.

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#230 Serious Gord
November 16 2013, 09:59PM
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Khabibolin get injured playing for Chicago tonight.

Quelle surprise.

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#231 Ryan Pike
November 16 2013, 09:59PM
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@ChinookArch

Yes. More good shots in.

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#232 Rob F
November 16 2013, 10:01PM
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I thought the Detroit game was rock bottom.....so far this is rock bottom

i keep hearing......you gotta hit rock bottom and admit you have a problem before you get better

oilers need an intervention.......i know

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#233 Ryan Pike
November 16 2013, 10:01PM
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Bold moves and smart moves are rarely the same moves.

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#234 Rob Gilgan
November 16 2013, 10:02PM
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So good to see Ted Nolan back in the NHL.

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#235 Rob F
November 16 2013, 10:03PM
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I thought the Detroit game was rock bottom.....so far this is rock bottom

i keep hearing......you gotta hit rock bottom and admit you have a problem before you get better

oilers need an intervention.......i know

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#236 Ryan Pike
November 16 2013, 10:03PM
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Bold moves and smart moves are rarely the same moves.

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#237 Alsker
November 16 2013, 10:04PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

Total brainfart. Mac t sends down one of his most consistent players to make room for a d man who doesn't even play a game. Then calls him back up the next game. How many flights did arco take for no reason whatsoever.

Most businesses don't have the profit margin to be that careless with money. Must be nice

They said yesterday he never left town as it was a paper move only to allow Klefbom to come up(why god only knows). I assumed he would have traveled with the team to Cowtown last night. Lets just hope kBlowe has zero input into our olympic team and he's there for old times sake only. What a clusterfuc& this is.

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#238 DCC
November 16 2013, 10:07PM
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Rob F wrote:

I thought the Detroit game was rock bottom.....so far this is rock bottom

i keep hearing......you gotta hit rock bottom and admit you have a problem before you get better

oilers need an intervention.......i know

MacT also said that the Detroit game was rock bottom. Hmmmm...really?

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#239 outdoorzguy
November 16 2013, 10:07PM
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I'd put Yakupov on waivers just to get rid of him and his distraction. Management is incapable of proving they can do anything to make improvements so just get rid of him. He's soft.

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#240 outdoorzguy
November 16 2013, 10:10PM
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RexHolez wrote:

Talk about raising the kids hopes, making him rush to make the game, fly all night and then, in great Oiler fashion shatter all hope with mismanagement

It's the Oiler way!!

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#241 Rob F
November 16 2013, 10:11PM
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everyone sh*ts on Yakupov.....why does RNH get a pass.......hes been just short of awful

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#242 Time Travelling Sean
November 16 2013, 10:12PM
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If the return is there trade one of the Big 4.

That might send the message that these "players-only meetings" aren't getting across.

Is it too late to get Renney back? :c

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#243 Harlie
November 16 2013, 10:15PM
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@Rob F

Why heff to be mad?

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#244 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 10:16PM
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that was just.....filthy lol.

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#245 prendrefeu
November 16 2013, 10:17PM
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The hell are all these Failers doing here? Don't they have their own nation blog to follow the game?

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#246 Drowning in Oil
November 16 2013, 10:19PM
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I take it all back. The Oilers are now a Power House. Mac T and KLowe are mad wizards. Eakins is a strategic general. Go Oil, Go!!

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#247 ?
November 16 2013, 10:19PM
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prendrefeu wrote:

The hell are all these Failers doing here? Don't they have their own nation blog to follow the game?

..... they never learn

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#248 Drowning in Oil
November 16 2013, 10:19PM
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I take it all back. The Oilers are now a Power House. Mac T and KLowe are mad wizards. Eakins is a strategic general. Go Oil, Go!!

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#249 vetinari
November 16 2013, 10:20PM
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The Barons.... er... Oilers have tied it...

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#250 vetinari
November 16 2013, 10:21PM
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The Barons.... er... Oilers have tied it...

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