GDB 15.0: RED WINGS

Wanye
November 02 2013 01:09PM

 

Jason Gregor texted me to say "I have baby business to attend to on Saturday. Gregor 2,0 is only weeks away. I will need you to write the GDB for the Red Wings game." "Me?" we replied "last time I wrote a GDB people said it was silly and cried for you to write every one until 2099."

Well one doesn't argue with Jason Gregor if one hopes to be alive for the next Oilers win. So here goes nothing.

AND SO IT CONTINUES

How many ways are there to say that the Oilers rebuild is taking longer than it took to rebuild Europe after WWII?  At some point we start to scramble for new acronyms making a chase for last place an exciting proposition.

After the pantsing the Leafs gave the Oil on Tuesday - in front of LeafsNation Steve Dangle who had flown in for the match no less - it is hard to make bold predictions of Oilers wins. We sat there at Rexall Place, next to the King of all Maple Leafs fans watching them cheer and smile and raise their fists in triumph. We want that so badly for all our fellow Oilers fans it hurts.

Yes, if you told us "Wanye, all you have to do is get hit by a car and the Oil will turn around quick as a flash" we would run screaming from Wanye Manor and get hit square by the first motorcar we happened to see. Sadly it ain't that easy. But there are still things we can do as Oilers fans to try and turn the ship around.

In fact we have an idea.

AN IDEA

We hockey fans are a superstitious lot. Lucky underwear, lucky beer brand, lucky type of fur coat deodorizer. Cheering from the same seat on the couch. We all have some little foible we cling to in the hopes it makes our beloved Oilers win. Well Nation whatever we are doing is wrong.

We need to collectively reboot our lucky charms and send a wave of new karma out into the universe. Rather than focusing on what we don't want - more losses, more injuries, more Grebeshkovs in the lineup - we need to take new actions focused on what we want.

Wins.

Pictured at the top of the article is our most prized possession - our Eberle jersey purchased minutes after 14 scored his mind shattering first goal in the NHL. Thinking it was lucky we haven't so much as cleaned it once in the 4 years since. At the quarter pole of his 5th season it is clear the luck ain't working.

So we took the jersey to the cleaners on Thursday and got it back clean as clean can be. This was our major good luck charm these past 4 years and we wouldn't dream of doing this normally. But drastic times call for drastic measures. We invite you to reconsider whatever lucky charms you have and bring new ones out. The team needs it Nation. It's the only thing left we can think of doing.

Let us know if you think of anything you can do to reboot the franchise's luck. Burn your lucky drawers. Switch brands of game day beer. Remarry a new luckier wife if you think it will help. Just do something positive that is a break with the past.

We beg you.

LINEUP - GOOD

 

According to DailyFaceOff.com the Oilers are icing the forward corps above and the defensive pairings below. And according to the very same site Bachman will get the start in between the pipes tonight.

LINEUP - BAD

 

Forwards up, defense below and something called a Petr Mrazek will be tending for the Wings tonight. Poor bugger won't even have a chance. 

 

PREDICTIONS R US

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers win 4-2 shocking many including the Oilers themselves.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: During the second intermission Coack Babcock screams at Mrazek to step his game up to which the goalie tearfully replies "I don't even know who I am. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU START ME IN AN NHL GAME?"

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Hearing about the jersey cleaning Jordan Eberle pots a pair of goals. In the post game scrum he comments "I knew something was holding me back this year. Here all this time it was a ratty jersey covered in shots of Jack Daniels from the Pint. I wish Wanye had gotten his hygenic act together years ago."

Hearing my name mentioned by King Jordan I immediately transcend into a beam of pure joy and shoot into space.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#101 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 08:44PM
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Bachman Turner Overweight fakes an injury to get out of Dodge before the Wings hit double digits.

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#102 June
November 02 2013, 08:45PM
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It is not fair Edmonton has to play NHL teams.

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#103 EP
November 02 2013, 08:45PM
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Joey MacDonald is on waivers- pick him up.

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#104 FIREEAKINS
November 02 2013, 08:47PM
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EP wrote:

Joey MacDonald is on waivers- pick him up.

Yes because the Oilers need ANOTHER $hit backup goalie

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#105 **
November 02 2013, 08:48PM
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this isn't funny anymore. THe Oilers should really consider bringing in a priest to spread some holy water in the dressing room and on the rink

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#106 Loweblows
November 02 2013, 08:48PM
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Note to oilers: the blades on your feet do not move themselves, the black thing sliding around is called the "puck"', the other team is red, skate towards the goalie wearing red and the black thing you try and put behind him, try and keep the black slidy thing out of your net.

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#107 OilersSuck
November 02 2013, 08:49PM
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Why the f u c k is this building full every night? I wouldn't pay to watch this f u cking crap

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#108 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 08:50PM
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The only good thing about tonight is that the Wings also play non-contact. The little kids on the Oilers will live to play another day.

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#109 Loweblows
November 02 2013, 08:51PM
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youguysarehotgarbage wrote:

As a flames fan, i am wanting to see wins from you guys.

Do you realize how bad you need to be for this to happen,Detroit of a back to back and your supposed to be young fit team andthey jump on guys... wow

eakins might want mix some hockey stuff with strength and conditioning program

F off we dont need your pity.

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#110 Albert
November 02 2013, 08:52PM
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Hey, was I napping? When did Mactavish sign the Nuge's twin sister. He did she manage to wear #94 too?

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#111 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 08:53PM
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By the way #43 on the Wings is frickin' fast.

THEY'RE STEALING OUR THING

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#112 youguysarehotgarbage
November 02 2013, 08:54PM
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@OilersSuck

hahahaha...eat it oiler douche, tell me how good you'll be next year

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#113 FIREEAKINS
November 02 2013, 08:54PM
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Well i'm gonna go play some Battlefield 4, f u c k this horse $hit game and this horse $hit team. F u ck you Eakins! Fu ck you Lowe! Fu ck you lazy Oiler players!

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#114 Ryan
November 02 2013, 08:54PM
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Oilers look pretty good for a Junior team

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#115 OilersSuck
November 02 2013, 08:57PM
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youguysarehotgarbage wrote:

hahahaha...eat it oiler douche, tell me how good you'll be next year

right cause the flames are so good, they are gonna be competing with EDM for No. 1 overall by the end of the month

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#116 Outdoors guy
November 02 2013, 08:57PM
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The Oiler organization started to suck many years ago. When the Laforge group with Lowe took over, they became an orginazition that disenfranchised the people. Despite what they say, they don't care about the game. It's dollars. Plain and simple. As long as money flows into the coffer of the team, they don't care. STOP SPENDING $$$$$$$$ on this team. It's the only message they wiifm understand. There is nobody to blame but the Oiler fan for the state of today's team. If you keep going to the game and buying the jerseys, they don't care. That's money in Katz's pocket. Stop going to the games and supporting this organization that has been terrible for the last 15 years and maybe they will get the message. But somehow I don't think they're that smart.

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#117 Cubsfan
November 02 2013, 09:07PM
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Did we trade Babe Ruth or not let a goat in the stadium.....?

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#118 oilredemption
November 02 2013, 09:07PM
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REINHART!REINHART!REINHART!

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#119 Gerry
November 02 2013, 09:07PM
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Kassian takes out Bolland. Hmmm 40 + games

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#120 oilredemption
November 02 2013, 09:08PM
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Reinharts are man, if he can't do it, no one can :D

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#121 Johe
November 02 2013, 09:08PM
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*starts stabbing self in eye*

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#122 Oilersfan4
November 02 2013, 09:09PM
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Not even Don Cherry wants to talk about the Oilers mess on coaches corner. Didn't even give the Oilers the time of day. I don't blame him. I'm a fan and I'm embarrassed. Just like other fans my patience is wearing thin.

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#123 Outdoozguy
November 02 2013, 09:12PM
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THE OILERS SUCK!!! The organization is a disgrace.

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#124 Wait until next year!!
November 02 2013, 09:17PM
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My eye started twitching after the second goal. Is this a sign?

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#125 Cubsfan
November 02 2013, 09:18PM
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Holy Cr*p...we're the team everyone plays their back up goalies against.....

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#126 Outdoor guy
November 02 2013, 09:19PM
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LoweBlow wrote:

I'm watching, hoping, waiting for the fans to begin to boo and pull out the paper bags.

This is the sole reason why I'm currently watching.

An Oiler goal wouldn't even please me anymore.

I'm sick of the excuses. I just want them to lose brutally so there are no more 'we were out-finished' garbage. The Oil have been lucky to have been a part of the games they've played.

Nobody will boo. Everyone wants to go to an NHL game. Somebody will take the tickets. This organization sucks. Stay away, give Eakins a cheeseburger to put on some bulk. This is sad. Move the team to Kansas City. Then Katz might not get the cable feed!!

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#127 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 09:19PM
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Sure Datsuyk is good.

But what does he think about Yakupov??

That's the important question, right Edmonton media?

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#128 Reggi
November 02 2013, 09:20PM
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Fire Lowe , Bucky and Smith .

Now that is a good start for turning this team around.

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#129 LoweBlow
November 02 2013, 09:20PM
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This team is a joke.

The Wings are playing like garbage. Babcock will be furious with his team.

Still we're getting destroyed.

**puts on paper bag at home**

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#130 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 09:22PM
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@LoweBlow

The Wings are tired and bored.

And up 2-0 against the J-V.

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#131 Harry
November 02 2013, 09:22PM
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Please everybody

Stop going to Oilers games and do not buy anything with an Oilers logo on it. Enough is enough

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#132 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 09:24PM
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Wow Hrudey.

I know about the 'goalie club' but there is NO DEFENCE for giving up a goal from that far away.

Dude's job is to STOP the puck.

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#133 Doug Diggler
November 02 2013, 09:24PM
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The oilers suck so much i'm starting to think about becoming a basketball fan... go raptors?

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#134 Andrew
November 02 2013, 09:24PM
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This is the worst owner, prez of hockey, GM and coaches in all of hockey. The Oilers have unquestionably the worst 'D' squad in the solar system. Smid and Petry are gutless and clueless on their positions. How the heck did they get this far? Nick Schultz would make a fair lawn jockey.

And Mact does.....nothing!

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#135 LoweBlow
November 02 2013, 09:26PM
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Eakins is a bust. The team played much better under Kreuger. Sad to say it.

I was praying for them to sign Ruff or Torts. What a joke this team is.

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#136 I tried it at home
November 02 2013, 09:26PM
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I dont know what Im getting more sick of, seeing other teams score on us, or hearing right after "his FIRST GOAL since coming back from whatever however long ago." What are we, E-Z goals R us? More rum....

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#137 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 09:27PM
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LoweBlow wrote:

This team is a joke.

The Wings are playing like garbage. Babcock will be furious with his team.

Still we're getting destroyed.

**puts on paper bag at home**

I just put on two paper bags in case one rips.

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#138 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 09:27PM
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This actually is getting hilarious.

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#139 spliff
November 02 2013, 09:28PM
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Wow are the Oilers terrible. No passion, no intensity and not enough effort. These players should be giving full effort in front of their long suffering fans, on a HNIC game, against a road-weary team. What I am seeing is shocking. How to MacT and KLowe explain this? We can't get another coach, so what happens now? And does anyone really care anymore?

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#140 Doug Diggler
November 02 2013, 09:28PM
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hrudey "oilers trying to get an energy shift," get real kelly this team hasn't seen energy outside the beer lines for years

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#141 Seriously
November 02 2013, 09:29PM
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I'm sure that they are on the bench trying to determine which bar they are going to after this poor pathetic excuse of a game!!! Reading all these comments about this s#!¥ team is more entertaining than the game! Keep them rolling in!! LOL

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#142 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 09:30PM
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I wonder if season's tickets holders will notice the difference in smell before and after CFR?

Doubt it.

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#143 Jerod
November 02 2013, 09:33PM
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They have won 14 of there last 41 games at home. Perhaps this is a problem Kevin?

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#144 Newj
November 02 2013, 09:34PM
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I'm curious about what Tom Renney's thinking as he watches his Wings annhilate his former club?

I'm hoping he takes pity on us.

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#145 Reggi
November 02 2013, 09:35PM
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Reggi wrote:

Fire Lowe , Bucky and Smith .

Now that is a good start for turning this team around.

Good try Kevin L giving me a trash.

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#146 Outdoors guy
November 02 2013, 09:35PM
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THE OILER ORGANIZATION IS A JOKE. WHY CAN' T Katz see that? Oh wait , he he wants to collect life size hockey cards. Kevin Lowe is #1. He' s got it, No point in worrying now?

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#147 Dallas Oilers
November 02 2013, 09:35PM
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Guys, what do you expect? You're putting junior players against an elite team...there aren't any quality veterans to shield your #1 overall picks. They will get manhandled until they reach their prime. Kane and Toews had Ladd, Byfuglien, Sopel, Keith, Seabrook, Bolland, to learn from. Crosby had quality veterans to grow under, albeit a very short time, because he's a generational talent. This isn't a balanced team. It's basically players that are just removed from junior hockey playing top line minutes against NHL players in their prime. You will get killed.

Eakins can do all the coaching he wants, but nothing will happen until the roster is fixed. They can have all the compete and hard work you want, but if you play a junior player against an NHL player in his prime, 10 times out of 10, the NHL player wins.

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#148 Harry
November 02 2013, 09:38PM
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Did Hrudey honestly just say that Hemsky has one of the beat wrist shots in the NHL? What a complete TOOL

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#149 Seriously
November 02 2013, 09:41PM
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Newj wrote:

I'm curious about what Tom Renney's thinking as he watches his Wings annhilate his former club?

I'm hoping he takes pity on us.

Oh I'm pretty sure he is counting his lucky stars that he has nothing to do with this s#!¥ show anymore!!!!!!

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#150 Oilers=bottom3rdofLeague
November 02 2013, 09:44PM
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The Edmonton Oilers........ Where talent goes to die!!

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