GDB 15.0: RED WINGS

Wanye
November 02 2013 01:09PM

 

Jason Gregor texted me to say "I have baby business to attend to on Saturday. Gregor 2,0 is only weeks away. I will need you to write the GDB for the Red Wings game." "Me?" we replied "last time I wrote a GDB people said it was silly and cried for you to write every one until 2099."

Well one doesn't argue with Jason Gregor if one hopes to be alive for the next Oilers win. So here goes nothing.

AND SO IT CONTINUES

How many ways are there to say that the Oilers rebuild is taking longer than it took to rebuild Europe after WWII?  At some point we start to scramble for new acronyms making a chase for last place an exciting proposition.

After the pantsing the Leafs gave the Oil on Tuesday - in front of LeafsNation Steve Dangle who had flown in for the match no less - it is hard to make bold predictions of Oilers wins. We sat there at Rexall Place, next to the King of all Maple Leafs fans watching them cheer and smile and raise their fists in triumph. We want that so badly for all our fellow Oilers fans it hurts.

Yes, if you told us "Wanye, all you have to do is get hit by a car and the Oil will turn around quick as a flash" we would run screaming from Wanye Manor and get hit square by the first motorcar we happened to see. Sadly it ain't that easy. But there are still things we can do as Oilers fans to try and turn the ship around.

In fact we have an idea.

AN IDEA

We hockey fans are a superstitious lot. Lucky underwear, lucky beer brand, lucky type of fur coat deodorizer. Cheering from the same seat on the couch. We all have some little foible we cling to in the hopes it makes our beloved Oilers win. Well Nation whatever we are doing is wrong.

We need to collectively reboot our lucky charms and send a wave of new karma out into the universe. Rather than focusing on what we don't want - more losses, more injuries, more Grebeshkovs in the lineup - we need to take new actions focused on what we want.

Wins.

Pictured at the top of the article is our most prized possession - our Eberle jersey purchased minutes after 14 scored his mind shattering first goal in the NHL. Thinking it was lucky we haven't so much as cleaned it once in the 4 years since. At the quarter pole of his 5th season it is clear the luck ain't working.

So we took the jersey to the cleaners on Thursday and got it back clean as clean can be. This was our major good luck charm these past 4 years and we wouldn't dream of doing this normally. But drastic times call for drastic measures. We invite you to reconsider whatever lucky charms you have and bring new ones out. The team needs it Nation. It's the only thing left we can think of doing.

Let us know if you think of anything you can do to reboot the franchise's luck. Burn your lucky drawers. Switch brands of game day beer. Remarry a new luckier wife if you think it will help. Just do something positive that is a break with the past.

We beg you.

LINEUP - GOOD

 

According to DailyFaceOff.com the Oilers are icing the forward corps above and the defensive pairings below. And according to the very same site Bachman will get the start in between the pipes tonight.

LINEUP - BAD

 

Forwards up, defense below and something called a Petr Mrazek will be tending for the Wings tonight. Poor bugger won't even have a chance. 

 

PREDICTIONS R US

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers win 4-2 shocking many including the Oilers themselves.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: During the second intermission Coack Babcock screams at Mrazek to step his game up to which the goalie tearfully replies "I don't even know who I am. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU START ME IN AN NHL GAME?"

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Hearing about the jersey cleaning Jordan Eberle pots a pair of goals. In the post game scrum he comments "I knew something was holding me back this year. Here all this time it was a ratty jersey covered in shots of Jack Daniels from the Pint. I wish Wanye had gotten his hygenic act together years ago."

Hearing my name mentioned by King Jordan I immediately transcend into a beam of pure joy and shoot into space.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#151 God
November 02 2013, 09:46PM
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I have a sneaking suspicion that the Oilers don't have that many more injuries than all the other teams. I bet these players simply don't want to play. Playing on a team like this can kill your confidence and your career.

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#152 oilredemption
November 02 2013, 09:51PM
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Boyd Gordon with the red wing flu too. I wonder if Katz ever even watches these games. The rest of us sit in our tightie whities with a glass of whiskey half empty in the dark muttering words that aren't even English anymore and suffering from severe depression. Like how could you even own a team like this and not cry yourself to sleep. I guess as the old sane goes... moneytalks

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#153 Doug Diggler
November 02 2013, 09:52PM
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Dallas Oilers wrote:

Guys, what do you expect? You're putting junior players against an elite team...there aren't any quality veterans to shield your #1 overall picks. They will get manhandled until they reach their prime. Kane and Toews had Ladd, Byfuglien, Sopel, Keith, Seabrook, Bolland, to learn from. Crosby had quality veterans to grow under, albeit a very short time, because he's a generational talent. This isn't a balanced team. It's basically players that are just removed from junior hockey playing top line minutes against NHL players in their prime. You will get killed.

Eakins can do all the coaching he wants, but nothing will happen until the roster is fixed. They can have all the compete and hard work you want, but if you play a junior player against an NHL player in his prime, 10 times out of 10, the NHL player wins.

I agree with what your saying here, but some of the players you used as examples were pretty poor. Bolland started same year as kane and toews. Byfuglien had played 30 something games before in the nhl. Even some of the other guys only had 1 or 2 seasons, so I don't see where the oilers have not had at least equal veterans to show the rookies coming in the proper way to play.

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#154 FireKLowe
November 02 2013, 09:52PM
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Fire Kevin Lowe immediately! He is the only common denominator in this "failed" rebuild. This is plain and simply embarrassing.

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#155 Rob Gilgan
November 02 2013, 09:56PM
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Out. Finished. What an awful hockey team.

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#156 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 09:59PM
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Eakins has clearly lost the room. Time to remove him.

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#157 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 09:59PM
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Eakins has clearly lost the room. Time to remove him.

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#158 .??? IRON
November 02 2013, 10:03PM
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Serious Gord wrote:

Eakins has clearly lost the room. Time to remove him.

Bring in IRON MIKE KEENAN and give him free reign to blow up this MESS and rebuild it!

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#159 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:03PM
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It's one thing to lose a lot, but to lose giving this kind of effort?

Unforgivable.

And morale destroying.

How many in the locker room during intermission are wishing they get traded before sunrise tomorrow?

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#160 Loweblows
November 02 2013, 10:05PM
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Cubsfan wrote:

Holy Cr*p...we're the team everyone plays their back up goalies against.....

Actually he isnt even a backup- he was a last minute callup from their farmteam

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#161 Fred
November 02 2013, 10:06PM
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How much do they pay Kevin Lowe?

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#162 Seriously
November 02 2013, 10:08PM
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FireKLowe wrote:

Fire Kevin Lowe immediately! He is the only common denominator in this "failed" rebuild. This is plain and simply embarrassing.

Well Kevin did say "he knows something about WINNING!" yeah it sure "F"'n looks like it tonight!! Here is a news flash Kevin Lowe... Your glory days are over!!!!!!! If you had any balls, you should man up, do all the fans of Edmonton a favor, and leave the organization!!!!!

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#163 Sammy
November 02 2013, 10:09PM
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Fred wrote:

How much do they pay Kevin Lowe?

TO MUCH!!!!!!

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#164 Time Travelling Sean
November 02 2013, 10:10PM
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Loser team.

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#165 Cubsfan
November 02 2013, 10:10PM
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Thank god....SNL is on.....i'll laugh myself to sleep, instead of crying,,,.... OUT!

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#166 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 10:11PM
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Oh hey cute.

Hemsky is playing.

I had no idea.

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#167 Oilersfan4
November 02 2013, 10:12PM
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You know what's wrong with Edmonton sports team? Let's look at the Esks Kavis Reed, played 10yrs ago, Ed Hervey played 10yrs ago , now let's look at the Oilers KLowe, MacT, Bucky, Steve Smith and Katz still stuck in the past. NO one knows how the game is played NOW. Our sports teams seem to thing history matters, although all those championship are great nobody cares about yesterday it's all about today or tomorrow

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#168 Dave
November 02 2013, 10:16PM
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Any fans still watching the game at Rexall ?

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#169 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 10:19PM
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Uhhhh....you know, well obviously it's disappointing. You know, uhhhh...it's unacceptable and obviously we have to obviously be more obviously....uhhhh..... - every single Oiler 'hockey player' being interviewed after the game.

Except Hemsky.

Who has a thing has to rush away to.

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#170 FireKLowe
November 02 2013, 10:19PM
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Can everyone please stop going to the games and Rexall pharmacies!!! That is the only way Katz is going to get the message.

Thank you!

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#171 Walter Sobchak
November 02 2013, 10:19PM
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Dallas Eakns is in way over his head!!

Completely out coached.

That, or the boys have tuned him completely out.

Is Brent Sutter available.

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#172 Oilers=bottom3rdofLeague
November 02 2013, 10:21PM
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The arrogance of the management in this organization will make every excuse in the book for their slow start. HEY IDIOTS, YOU GOT RID OF MAC T, A LINK FROM THE PAST AND WHAT YOU FOOLS DO, YOU BROUGHT HIM BACK!! This team can't get away from the old boys club if they tried. KEVIN LOWE IS A DISEASE TO THIS TEAM, AND SO IS BUCKY, SMITH AND OF COURSE MAC T!!

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#173 Rob Gilgan
November 02 2013, 10:21PM
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Dave wrote:

Any fans still watching the game at Rexall ?

The Oilers are watching the game. They just watched Bertuzzi and Andersson score.

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#174 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 10:22PM
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This actually could be it for Eakins.

What else are they going to do?

In fact, while I don't think it's fair - they probably should fire him, but the ONLY coach under consideration should be Mactavish.

He and "Six Cups" built this mess, make HIM deal with it.

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#175 Toro
November 02 2013, 10:23PM
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So has management just accepted another year of failure or are they gonna do something .... Anything to try and make this team into and NHL squad.... What a joke , never been ashamed to be an Oiler fan but it's really getting hard to stick behind this team

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#176 FireKLowe
November 02 2013, 10:23PM
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I'm sure the likes of Jonathan Willis and other homies will find positives from tonight's game and throw stupid corsi stats at us to show the team is improving. Please don't bother!!!

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#177 Taylor the Texter
November 02 2013, 10:23PM
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Nice shot on HNIC of Hall texting on his cell in the press box OBLIVIOUS and visibly UNCONCERNED about the fate of his team. He is probably setting up Piggy Back Rides at the Cactus Club after the game to help rehab his ailing knee! He and his f$&;zing ego should be the first Oiler out of town. Coach killing aholes!

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#178 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:24PM
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5-0 2 shots in ten minutes of the third.

This is

Rock.

Bottom.

Heads Have To ROLL.

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#179 kale
November 02 2013, 10:25PM
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What is shocking is that the Oilers are a cap team

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#180 Sammy
November 02 2013, 10:26PM
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My only reason for watching the end of this game is the hope that it will turn into a sh!t show similar to the Philly game last night. Show some f#@kin heart oilers!!!!

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#181 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:26PM
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kale wrote:

What is shocking is that the Oilers are a cap team

And that is on MacT.

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#182 Rod from Viking
November 02 2013, 10:27PM
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5-0, Smid doing another inverted snow angel on the last goal, I've been watching this team for over 30 years and this is the worst effort ever, this team doesn't give a shi#, Gallager is small and has 7 goals, big heart and scrotum, something no Oiler has except Hall and Jones.

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#183 Alsker
November 02 2013, 10:27PM
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Sounds like I should be glad I had family sh^t to do tonite and haven't heard/seen anything of the game. Is it too late to ask if ANY Oiler actually showed they cared tonite.

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#184 Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty)
November 02 2013, 10:28PM
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The culture of losing persists......no hits, no fights, no crashing the net, no emotion, no nothing......nothing from the coach....nobody on the bench even seems bothered ...should be interesting to what MacT has to say post game.

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#185 Harlie
November 02 2013, 10:29PM
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OUR GOAL IS

KLOWE - Win the Stanley Cup

MacT - Make the Playoffs

Eakins - Win a Game

Oilers - Break a Shutout

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#186 BrutalOilers
November 02 2013, 10:29PM
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So....... I am so confused....... This team and the local media have lead us to believe this team was in a great position for rebuilding and yet teams like Colorado and Toronto are WAY, WAY ahead of us and I am certain most people thought we had the rebuild right. That Edmonton was doing the rebuild the PROPER way!! What a load of crap. This is embarrassing!!

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#187 Alsker
November 02 2013, 10:30PM
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Serious Gord wrote:

5-0 2 shots in ten minutes of the third.

This is

Rock.

Bottom.

Heads Have To ROLL.

I thought the leafs game was rock bottom...maybe bring up the whole OKC team coachs and all and see what they can do??? If someone isnt fired by Monday AM or traded than Katz must step in.

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#188 Cynic
November 02 2013, 10:31PM
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"Like how could you even own a team like this and not cry yourself to sleep. I guess as the old sane goes... moneytalks."

He's wallet-raping your ma and pa for a new arena. That's how he sleeps at night.

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#189 Rob Gilgan
November 02 2013, 10:31PM
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Alsker wrote:

Sounds like I should be glad I had family sh^t to do tonite and haven't heard/seen anything of the game. Is it too late to ask if ANY Oiler actually showed they cared tonite.

LaBarbara has been decent.

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#190 Ivan Drago
November 02 2013, 10:31PM
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All right. Eff this and eff Tuesday night as well. I'm off to play NHL 14 where MY fantasy oilers actually win sometimes, and in which I try harder than the plugs on this team.

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#191 Gordie Wayne
November 02 2013, 10:32PM
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The only thing worse than watching the Oilers get schooled by the Wings, is watching them with Rick Ball and Kelly Hrudey blathering on about how terrible the Oilers are...please tell us something we don't know...

Oh, and now Belov hurt...for f%^& sake.

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#192 Randy
November 02 2013, 10:32PM
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This is bovine manure.

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#193 jbogus
November 02 2013, 10:32PM
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Well, my wife and I have made a pact this season for every time the Oilers lose ....you know.

Now don't get me wrong I love my wife and hockey but you know what they just stink.

So for what it's worth (if you love your wife and hot like mine) then I can just remain a fan.

Stink, no effort, no ticker, no (______insert here).

Anyhow better get the wife ready - buy guys.

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#194 Harry
November 02 2013, 10:33PM
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Belov down....HELLO KLEFBOM!!

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#195 Fresh Mess
November 02 2013, 10:33PM
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Now Belov taken out by his own team mate. There goes their best D man. Keystone cops. Pure comedy.

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#196 @Oilanderp
November 02 2013, 10:33PM
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AAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAAAAA

*cries self to sleep*

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#197 FireKLowe
November 02 2013, 10:34PM
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Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty) wrote:

The culture of losing persists......no hits, no fights, no crashing the net, no emotion, no nothing......nothing from the coach....nobody on the bench even seems bothered ...should be interesting to what MacT has to say post game.

Fire Eakins and the entire coaching staff after the game. How can these guys stand behind the bench completely emotionless? Unfkucin believable!!!

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#198 Rod from Viking
November 02 2013, 10:34PM
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Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty) wrote:

The culture of losing persists......no hits, no fights, no crashing the net, no emotion, no nothing......nothing from the coach....nobody on the bench even seems bothered ...should be interesting to what MacT has to say post game.

Mac T hasn't done an interview since? Now Belov injured, what kind of "After Hours" lip service is their captain going to give.

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#199 Crusty Grit
November 02 2013, 10:34PM
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This has to be some sort of psychological experiment. Nothing else makes sense at this point.

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#200 Gordie Wayne
November 02 2013, 10:34PM
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At first I thought Gregor was a bit nuts with his "dressing room cleanse" or whatever he was calling it, but it might be time to try something as stupid as that...can we please just make it out of this game without someone else getting hurt...this team must be cursed.

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