GDB 15.0: RED WINGS

Wanye
November 02 2013 01:09PM

 

Jason Gregor texted me to say "I have baby business to attend to on Saturday. Gregor 2,0 is only weeks away. I will need you to write the GDB for the Red Wings game." "Me?" we replied "last time I wrote a GDB people said it was silly and cried for you to write every one until 2099."

Well one doesn't argue with Jason Gregor if one hopes to be alive for the next Oilers win. So here goes nothing.

AND SO IT CONTINUES

How many ways are there to say that the Oilers rebuild is taking longer than it took to rebuild Europe after WWII?  At some point we start to scramble for new acronyms making a chase for last place an exciting proposition.

After the pantsing the Leafs gave the Oil on Tuesday - in front of LeafsNation Steve Dangle who had flown in for the match no less - it is hard to make bold predictions of Oilers wins. We sat there at Rexall Place, next to the King of all Maple Leafs fans watching them cheer and smile and raise their fists in triumph. We want that so badly for all our fellow Oilers fans it hurts.

Yes, if you told us "Wanye, all you have to do is get hit by a car and the Oil will turn around quick as a flash" we would run screaming from Wanye Manor and get hit square by the first motorcar we happened to see. Sadly it ain't that easy. But there are still things we can do as Oilers fans to try and turn the ship around.

In fact we have an idea.

AN IDEA

We hockey fans are a superstitious lot. Lucky underwear, lucky beer brand, lucky type of fur coat deodorizer. Cheering from the same seat on the couch. We all have some little foible we cling to in the hopes it makes our beloved Oilers win. Well Nation whatever we are doing is wrong.

We need to collectively reboot our lucky charms and send a wave of new karma out into the universe. Rather than focusing on what we don't want - more losses, more injuries, more Grebeshkovs in the lineup - we need to take new actions focused on what we want.

Wins.

Pictured at the top of the article is our most prized possession - our Eberle jersey purchased minutes after 14 scored his mind shattering first goal in the NHL. Thinking it was lucky we haven't so much as cleaned it once in the 4 years since. At the quarter pole of his 5th season it is clear the luck ain't working.

So we took the jersey to the cleaners on Thursday and got it back clean as clean can be. This was our major good luck charm these past 4 years and we wouldn't dream of doing this normally. But drastic times call for drastic measures. We invite you to reconsider whatever lucky charms you have and bring new ones out. The team needs it Nation. It's the only thing left we can think of doing.

Let us know if you think of anything you can do to reboot the franchise's luck. Burn your lucky drawers. Switch brands of game day beer. Remarry a new luckier wife if you think it will help. Just do something positive that is a break with the past.

We beg you.

LINEUP - GOOD

 

According to DailyFaceOff.com the Oilers are icing the forward corps above and the defensive pairings below. And according to the very same site Bachman will get the start in between the pipes tonight.

LINEUP - BAD

 

Forwards up, defense below and something called a Petr Mrazek will be tending for the Wings tonight. Poor bugger won't even have a chance. 

 

PREDICTIONS R US

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers win 4-2 shocking many including the Oilers themselves.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: During the second intermission Coack Babcock screams at Mrazek to step his game up to which the goalie tearfully replies "I don't even know who I am. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU START ME IN AN NHL GAME?"

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Hearing about the jersey cleaning Jordan Eberle pots a pair of goals. In the post game scrum he comments "I knew something was holding me back this year. Here all this time it was a ratty jersey covered in shots of Jack Daniels from the Pint. I wish Wanye had gotten his hygenic act together years ago."

Hearing my name mentioned by King Jordan I immediately transcend into a beam of pure joy and shoot into space.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#201 Nick
November 02 2013, 10:35PM
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Wake the hell up. What a bunch of losers. Still stuck with that god dam junior mentality. No heart no desire to win. A disgrace to watch.

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#202 Greg the Hammer Valentine
November 02 2013, 10:35PM
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MacT has to act like a man and admit the Eakins hiring was a mistake. Apologize to Kruger for firing him by skype. Go back behind the bench 'till the end of the season and then fire the whole coaching staff. After that, make a real coach-searching process.

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#203 Alsker
November 02 2013, 10:36PM
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Rob Gilgan wrote:

LaBarbara has been decent.

Thought Bachman was starting? Oh, 5-0, I understand

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#204 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 10:36PM
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@Gordie Wayne

TOTALLY disagree.

This is WAY better than Debrusk telling us how nice Eberle's hair looked earlier. And how Gordon won two consecutive faceoffs, so that's a GREAT sign.

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#205 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:36PM
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Lots Of empty seats. Well deserved.

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#206 Fresh Mess
November 02 2013, 10:37PM
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Taylor the Texter wrote:

Nice shot on HNIC of Hall texting on his cell in the press box OBLIVIOUS and visibly UNCONCERNED about the fate of his team. He is probably setting up Piggy Back Rides at the Cactus Club after the game to help rehab his ailing knee! He and his f$&;zing ego should be the first Oiler out of town. Coach killing aholes!

He's texting his agent saying "get me out of this hellhole YESTERDAY!"

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#207 Doug Diggler
November 02 2013, 10:39PM
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Alsker wrote:

Thought Bachman was starting? Oh, 5-0, I understand

Bachman left due to injury

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#208 Kevin
November 02 2013, 10:40PM
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Reg Dunlop wrote:

I just put on two paper bags in case one rips.

good one- I think we should start marketing these paper bags. Make a killing $$. We could negotiate a deal with Katz to sell them at Rexall.

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#209 Ari Gold
November 02 2013, 10:40PM
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This team is complete garbage.

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#210 Yayayayippeee
November 02 2013, 10:40PM
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14 shots...... enough said.

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#211 Crusty Grit
November 02 2013, 10:41PM
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Nordiques traded their picks away, moved and won the cup... very soon after. Can we do it without moving? Can we please now make a "team".

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#212 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:43PM
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Listening to 6:30. Where's stauffer?

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#213 Gordie Wayne
November 02 2013, 10:43PM
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@Zamboni Driver

ummm...never mentioned Debrusk but now that you have, he is actually at the top of my list for people that should be fired. That guy is just BRUTAL! I usually have to watch the game with the TV muted.

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#214 Doug Diggler
November 02 2013, 10:43PM
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oilers should have taken a page out of the flyers playbook and started a line brawl

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#215 Alsker
November 02 2013, 10:43PM
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Fresh Mess wrote:

He's texting his agent saying "get me out of this hellhole YESTERDAY!"

You got it all wrong, 6M a year to do as you please, no pressure, no worries, maybe 4/5 years from now BUT today, not a chance.

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#216 Sarah
November 02 2013, 10:43PM
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Do the right thing Kevin Lowe RESIGN!

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#217 lastpl4ever
November 02 2013, 10:44PM
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Next marketing idea pink third jersey as they play like a women's Jr team! Crest should be a broken heart to represent how they play with no heart or passion.Too many Barbara Ann Scotts on this team. Remember the glory days of Pat Quinn's first 10 games as coach.

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#218 Fresh Mess
November 02 2013, 10:45PM
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If Eakins gets sacked, Lowe should be demoted to head coach. Let him deal with the mess he created.

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#219 Crusty Grit
November 02 2013, 10:45PM
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Alsker wrote:

You got it all wrong, 6M a year to do as you please, no pressure, no worries, maybe 4/5 years from now BUT today, not a chance.

It is Saturday night. Obviously confirming the reservation for the boys.

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#220 Seriously
November 02 2013, 10:45PM
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What an "F"n joke!!! Look at "six cups" and Mac Trash sitting emotionless on HNIC!! the oxygen level that high up in rexall must be sparse, because it is obvious that there "rebuilding" has FAILED!!

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#221 Devolution
November 02 2013, 10:46PM
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After all these terrible years it seems difficult to imagine, but this might be the worst Oilers team ever.

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#222 Alsker
November 02 2013, 10:46PM
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Doug Diggler wrote:

oilers should have taken a page out of the flyers playbook and started a line brawl

First we need 5 guys with willing to fight, there goes that idea(though I wish it were us not Philly able to do it).

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#223 Ryan2
November 02 2013, 10:46PM
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All I am going to say is Krueger had less to work with and got more in half a season without a training camp than Eakins has so far this year. This is a joke - there is no structure at all to the defensive play. You could see the players overthinking things at the start, now it looks like they have just given up on the masterful strategery of the coaching staff. Just like employees not following a weak manager at work, the players look like they are giving up on Eakins already. This team needs a more experienced coach that can command some respect from the players.

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#224 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 10:48PM
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It's a lucky break that the Wings were a tired squad at the tail end of a 3 in 4 night stretch. This game could have been 10 zip. Should have been 10 zip. Still, the day of reckoning remains Nov. 16 when the Flames pound the final nail in Lowe's coffin. If changes are coming they will come by Nov. 18. Is it too late to apologise to Horcoff? He wasn't the problem after all.

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#225 Alsker
November 02 2013, 10:48PM
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Seriously wrote:

What an "F"n joke!!! Look at "six cups" and Mac Trash sitting emotionless on HNIC!! the oxygen level that high up in rexall must be sparse, because it is obvious that there "rebuilding" has FAILED!!

LOWE MUST GO..LOWE MUST GO...LOWE MUST GO...LOWE MUST GO..sorry for yelling but DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#226 Rod from Viking
November 02 2013, 10:48PM
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Thank God game is over, HNIC switched to Colorado-Montreal and it looks like another win for Avalanche, didn't they finish below the Oilers last year and brought in a new coach and doesn't Joe Sakic only have 2 rings? How are they ahead of Edmonton?

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#227 Jerry
November 02 2013, 10:48PM
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Kevin Lowe Now I want you to take a step back... and literally f your own face!

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#228 Fresh Mess
November 02 2013, 10:49PM
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Were Gadzic and Eager dressed tonight? Why was Acton the one dropping his mitts at the end?

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#229 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:51PM
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They now don't play a home game for eleven days. I bet they will be happy to get on the charter.

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#230 oilredemption
November 02 2013, 10:51PM
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MacT right now should be going all Jackie moon on this team, laying in a dumpster eating the remains of what seems to be a pancake and trading away the coffee blacks before he screws up these young men's career. I want BOLD!

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#231 Dan 1919
November 02 2013, 10:52PM
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I saw some positive signs in tonight's game. Just kidding, I didn't.

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#232 TonyT
November 02 2013, 10:52PM
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I'm not going to pretend I have an idea of what to do. I among many thought this team would be better. Injuries have depleted them, but this is a defeated team. It would be folly to panic, but I fear this "team" will never learn to win. The time for bold is now, it is not a shakeup, not a wake up call, but a plea for this team to wake up. These are desperate times, I tried one of the untouchables...

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#233 Alsker
November 02 2013, 10:53PM
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Fresh Mess wrote:

If Eakins gets sacked, Lowe should be demoted to head coach. Let him deal with the mess he created.

And give him an excuse to fire MacT for assembling a team without veteran leadership. No, Kblowe deserves another press conference to explain why the Oil have become epic failures under his watchful eye. That or he turns in his parking pass and cleans out his office.

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#234 james_dean
November 02 2013, 10:53PM
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I am a type 2 fan

Only going to games for free

I can see why season ticketholders are upset.

Wonder if we will ever hear the "fire Eakins" chants ala ACC

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#235 Oilersfan4
November 02 2013, 10:54PM
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At this rate we well surely land Connor McDavid next year

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#236 Kevin
November 02 2013, 10:54PM
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Serious Gord wrote:

Listening to 6:30. Where's stauffer?

He's polishing Katz's shoes.

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#237 Ari Gold
November 02 2013, 10:54PM
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Rod from Viking wrote:

Thank God game is over, HNIC switched to Colorado-Montreal and it looks like another win for Avalanche, didn't they finish below the Oilers last year and brought in a new coach and doesn't Joe Sakic only have 2 rings? How are they ahead of Edmonton?

Exactly!!!!!! That's what I've been saying!

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#238 FireKLowe
November 02 2013, 10:55PM
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Lowe must have some incriminating evidence on Katz such as Katz sucking Lowe's cock or something during the glory years to explain why Lowe still has a fcuking job with the Oilers!!!

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#239 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 10:55PM
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Dan 1919 wrote:

I saw some positive signs in tonight's game. Just kidding, I didn't.

Dan, I don't prop easily but that was funny.

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#240 quinn the eskimo
November 02 2013, 10:59PM
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Fresh Mess wrote:

Now Belov taken out by his own team mate. There goes their best D man. Keystone cops. Pure comedy.

Belov sucks. Slow as sh!t through a frozen turkey and dumb. Good effin riddance. Petry was abysmal in the 1st. I feel like puking, and it ain't the whisky or the sight of myself in tight whiteys (bad enough). It's this team. I no longer have belief when before I had. I feel sick.

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#241 Johnny Larue
November 02 2013, 11:00PM
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I have been season ticket holder since 1994 but I can't evan force myself to go to the games anymore. This team is brutal can't win at home can't even compete at all. Eakins has been a total failure they are so brutal I don't even know where to start. They need do something drastic to get the teams attention. Eager had to be sent down Action,Hamilton also. Season is already shot and it makes me sick.

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#242 Btk1979
November 02 2013, 11:02PM
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@Oilersfan4

God, it is all I have left as an oiler fan. In Connor we trust.

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#243 Andrew
November 02 2013, 11:04PM
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Kevin wrote:

He's polishing Katz's shoes.

Hey, those shoes aren't going to polish themselves.

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#244 WinterNightSky
November 02 2013, 11:04PM
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Gordie Wayne wrote:

The only thing worse than watching the Oilers get schooled by the Wings, is watching them with Rick Ball and Kelly Hrudey blathering on about how terrible the Oilers are...please tell us something we don't know...

Oh, and now Belov hurt...for f%^& sake.

I like this a lot better than Kevin Quinn and Louie DeBrusk blowing sunshine up our asses. It sounds like honesty.

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#245 Seriously
November 02 2013, 11:04PM
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Alsker wrote:

LOWE MUST GO..LOWE MUST GO...LOWE MUST GO...LOWE MUST GO..sorry for yelling but DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Could not agree with u more..... Might as well add Mac d0uche bag in the chant ass well!!

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#246 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 11:08PM
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I give full credit to Ference for facing the HNIC panel after that debacle. Doesn't he know he will be late to the nightclub? Taylor Hall's sloppy seconds for the captain.

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#247 Buzz
November 02 2013, 11:09PM
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Oiler fans if you want to see changes , boycott this gongshow organization. Stop giving Katz your hard earned dollars. He might have to stop bathing in Krugerands. Boo freaking hoo...

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#248 Btk1979
November 02 2013, 11:11PM
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Reg Dunlop wrote:

I give full credit to Ference for facing the HNIC panel after that debacle. Doesn't he know he will be late to the nightclub? Taylor Hall's sloppy seconds for the captain.

I respect Ference as well. He could have many excuse to avoid the interview. Too bad no one else in management takes responsibility.

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#249 Phil
November 02 2013, 11:12PM
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Kevin wrote:

good one- I think we should start marketing these paper bags. Make a killing $$. We could negotiate a deal with Katz to sell them at Rexall.

Use Rexall pharmacy bags instead!

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#250 jimmy
November 02 2013, 11:12PM
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Kevin wrote:

He's polishing Katz's shoes.

i was gonna say something else....

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