GDB 15.0: RED WINGS

Wanye
November 02 2013 01:09PM

 

Jason Gregor texted me to say "I have baby business to attend to on Saturday. Gregor 2,0 is only weeks away. I will need you to write the GDB for the Red Wings game." "Me?" we replied "last time I wrote a GDB people said it was silly and cried for you to write every one until 2099."

Well one doesn't argue with Jason Gregor if one hopes to be alive for the next Oilers win. So here goes nothing.

AND SO IT CONTINUES

How many ways are there to say that the Oilers rebuild is taking longer than it took to rebuild Europe after WWII?  At some point we start to scramble for new acronyms making a chase for last place an exciting proposition.

After the pantsing the Leafs gave the Oil on Tuesday - in front of LeafsNation Steve Dangle who had flown in for the match no less - it is hard to make bold predictions of Oilers wins. We sat there at Rexall Place, next to the King of all Maple Leafs fans watching them cheer and smile and raise their fists in triumph. We want that so badly for all our fellow Oilers fans it hurts.

Yes, if you told us "Wanye, all you have to do is get hit by a car and the Oil will turn around quick as a flash" we would run screaming from Wanye Manor and get hit square by the first motorcar we happened to see. Sadly it ain't that easy. But there are still things we can do as Oilers fans to try and turn the ship around.

In fact we have an idea.

AN IDEA

We hockey fans are a superstitious lot. Lucky underwear, lucky beer brand, lucky type of fur coat deodorizer. Cheering from the same seat on the couch. We all have some little foible we cling to in the hopes it makes our beloved Oilers win. Well Nation whatever we are doing is wrong.

We need to collectively reboot our lucky charms and send a wave of new karma out into the universe. Rather than focusing on what we don't want - more losses, more injuries, more Grebeshkovs in the lineup - we need to take new actions focused on what we want.

Wins.

Pictured at the top of the article is our most prized possession - our Eberle jersey purchased minutes after 14 scored his mind shattering first goal in the NHL. Thinking it was lucky we haven't so much as cleaned it once in the 4 years since. At the quarter pole of his 5th season it is clear the luck ain't working.

So we took the jersey to the cleaners on Thursday and got it back clean as clean can be. This was our major good luck charm these past 4 years and we wouldn't dream of doing this normally. But drastic times call for drastic measures. We invite you to reconsider whatever lucky charms you have and bring new ones out. The team needs it Nation. It's the only thing left we can think of doing.

Let us know if you think of anything you can do to reboot the franchise's luck. Burn your lucky drawers. Switch brands of game day beer. Remarry a new luckier wife if you think it will help. Just do something positive that is a break with the past.

We beg you.

LINEUP - GOOD

 

According to DailyFaceOff.com the Oilers are icing the forward corps above and the defensive pairings below. And according to the very same site Bachman will get the start in between the pipes tonight.

LINEUP - BAD

 

Forwards up, defense below and something called a Petr Mrazek will be tending for the Wings tonight. Poor bugger won't even have a chance. 

 

PREDICTIONS R US

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers win 4-2 shocking many including the Oilers themselves.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: During the second intermission Coack Babcock screams at Mrazek to step his game up to which the goalie tearfully replies "I don't even know who I am. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU START ME IN AN NHL GAME?"

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Hearing about the jersey cleaning Jordan Eberle pots a pair of goals. In the post game scrum he comments "I knew something was holding me back this year. Here all this time it was a ratty jersey covered in shots of Jack Daniels from the Pint. I wish Wanye had gotten his hygenic act together years ago."

Hearing my name mentioned by King Jordan I immediately transcend into a beam of pure joy and shoot into space.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 dougtheslug
November 02 2013, 11:14PM
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Something died inside of me tonight. I was at the game and left after the second period. The worst Oiler performance I've ever seen, and seen a lot over the past 35 years. Walking back through the blizzard, I really felt I can't do it anymore. I'm tired of caring more than the team does. I'm feeling more sad than angry, though. I think maybe it's just time to move on.

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#2 Sam Reinhart
November 02 2013, 11:41PM
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Mr. MacTavish, please don't draft me.

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#3 Lowetide
November 02 2013, 01:14PM
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I've changed from drining Crown Royal with Coke to trying coke with Crown Royal. Here's hoping!

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#4 Rod from Viking
November 02 2013, 10:48PM
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Thank God game is over, HNIC switched to Colorado-Montreal and it looks like another win for Avalanche, didn't they finish below the Oilers last year and brought in a new coach and doesn't Joe Sakic only have 2 rings? How are they ahead of Edmonton?

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#5 Devolution
November 02 2013, 10:46PM
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After all these terrible years it seems difficult to imagine, but this might be the worst Oilers team ever.

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#6 Ari Gold
November 02 2013, 10:40PM
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This team is complete garbage.

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#7 DSF
November 02 2013, 11:25PM
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Eakins is done.

Just a matter of time.

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#8 Cubsfan
November 02 2013, 11:31PM
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just tuned into 630 to listen to Stauffer and even Brown being Oiler apologists.....that schtick's getting old too......what a difference an employer makes.......

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#9 Dan 1919
November 02 2013, 10:52PM
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I saw some positive signs in tonight's game. Just kidding, I didn't.

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#10 6Rings
November 02 2013, 11:36PM
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That was unwatchable but I watched it all. Absolutely abysmal. Pathetic. Totally unprofessional effort. Where the hell is the compete? The try?

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#11 Reagan
November 03 2013, 06:52AM
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My season tickets were already dropped in 2008, after Mac T was let go and the carousel of coaches started. I knew back then it would get ugly, but didn't see this coming. Stopped buying seats to any single game as well. I sat in on a focus group for previous season ticket holders, to convince us to come back, recieved a 75 dollar gift voucher to the Oilers store. Bought a Oilers hoodie at the Kingsway location. Also that was the last purchase I made with this organization. That was done five years ago, and four coaching changes and dozens of players have now changed, but little change up top. For those last five years I went from watching 82 games to watching 60 or less. The Oil drop is slowly fading and I am losing interest. I read these comments here everyday and don't reply half of the time because my passion is gone. Something needs to change and holding on to all of the kids isn't the answer. They need men not boys to play this game, otherwise they stay the whipping boys of the NHL.

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#12 FIREEAKINS
November 02 2013, 11:19PM
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Why is everyone ripping on Hall? He's not even playing. Hall is one of the only ones on this team that plays with heart. Taylor Hall is not the problem. He's far from it. If you can't see that than sorry, but you are an idiot.

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#13 Sarah
November 02 2013, 10:43PM
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Do the right thing Kevin Lowe RESIGN!

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#14 June
November 02 2013, 08:45PM
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It is not fair Edmonton has to play NHL teams.

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#15 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:36PM
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Lots Of empty seats. Well deserved.

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#16 Todd
November 02 2013, 11:29PM
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Phil wrote:

Use Rexall pharmacy bags instead!

That would be money... Fans start showing up at the games not wearing paper bags on their heads, but Rexall branded bags.

Maybe Katz would finally start firing his 80s buddies if his precious 'brand' starting taking a hit.

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#17 Yayayayippeee
November 02 2013, 10:40PM
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14 shots...... enough said.

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#18 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 10:48PM
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It's a lucky break that the Wings were a tired squad at the tail end of a 3 in 4 night stretch. This game could have been 10 zip. Should have been 10 zip. Still, the day of reckoning remains Nov. 16 when the Flames pound the final nail in Lowe's coffin. If changes are coming they will come by Nov. 18. Is it too late to apologise to Horcoff? He wasn't the problem after all.

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#19 6 ring circus
November 03 2013, 12:46AM
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Is it to late to ask for a refund on my season tickets?

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#20 DCC
November 03 2013, 12:47AM
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6Rings wrote:

That was unwatchable but I watched it all. Absolutely abysmal. Pathetic. Totally unprofessional effort. Where the hell is the compete? The try?

If memory serves we were promised "compete" this year, if nothing else. Once again the Edmonton Oilers over-promise and under-deliver.

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#21 Too Toxic To Continue
November 03 2013, 03:08AM
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Hey Mr. Lowe. I am here to inform you that there is a THIRD tier of fan... Former !!!

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#22 kale
November 02 2013, 10:25PM
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What is shocking is that the Oilers are a cap team

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#23 Fresh Mess
November 02 2013, 10:37PM
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Taylor the Texter wrote:

Nice shot on HNIC of Hall texting on his cell in the press box OBLIVIOUS and visibly UNCONCERNED about the fate of his team. He is probably setting up Piggy Back Rides at the Cactus Club after the game to help rehab his ailing knee! He and his f$&;zing ego should be the first Oiler out of town. Coach killing aholes!

He's texting his agent saying "get me out of this hellhole YESTERDAY!"

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#24 Loweblows
November 02 2013, 10:05PM
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Cubsfan wrote:

Holy Cr*p...we're the team everyone plays their back up goalies against.....

Actually he isnt even a backup- he was a last minute callup from their farmteam

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#25 Nick
November 02 2013, 10:35PM
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Wake the hell up. What a bunch of losers. Still stuck with that god dam junior mentality. No heart no desire to win. A disgrace to watch.

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#26 Devolution
November 03 2013, 06:38AM
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To paraphrase Andrew Ference in his 'After Hours' interview, Eakins is a good coach with a good plan. The problem is that not everyone is buying into the plan.

I think it is time to start sitting some of the worst offenders, and only Eakins really knows who they are. This season is a write-off anyway, might as well learn something from it.

Wow, season written off on November 2nd, a new record I think.

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#27 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:03PM
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It's one thing to lose a lot, but to lose giving this kind of effort?

Unforgivable.

And morale destroying.

How many in the locker room during intermission are wishing they get traded before sunrise tomorrow?

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#28 Taylor the Texter
November 02 2013, 10:23PM
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Nice shot on HNIC of Hall texting on his cell in the press box OBLIVIOUS and visibly UNCONCERNED about the fate of his team. He is probably setting up Piggy Back Rides at the Cactus Club after the game to help rehab his ailing knee! He and his f$&;zing ego should be the first Oiler out of town. Coach killing aholes!

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#29 Alsker
November 02 2013, 10:48PM
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Seriously wrote:

What an "F"n joke!!! Look at "six cups" and Mac Trash sitting emotionless on HNIC!! the oxygen level that high up in rexall must be sparse, because it is obvious that there "rebuilding" has FAILED!!

LOWE MUST GO..LOWE MUST GO...LOWE MUST GO...LOWE MUST GO..sorry for yelling but DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#30 **
November 02 2013, 11:40PM
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** wrote:

this game is going to be an Oil massacre.

Well I called it. IT was just sad to see how they just seemed to give up. It's going to be a looooooooooooong season.

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#32 DSF
November 02 2013, 02:12PM
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Yakupov-Gagner-Hemsky

vs.

Datsyuk-Zetterberg-Bertuzzi

What could go wrong?

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#33 Greg the Hammer Valentine
November 02 2013, 10:35PM
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MacT has to act like a man and admit the Eakins hiring was a mistake. Apologize to Kruger for firing him by skype. Go back behind the bench 'till the end of the season and then fire the whole coaching staff. After that, make a real coach-searching process.

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#34 Seriously
November 02 2013, 10:45PM
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What an "F"n joke!!! Look at "six cups" and Mac Trash sitting emotionless on HNIC!! the oxygen level that high up in rexall must be sparse, because it is obvious that there "rebuilding" has FAILED!!

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#35 Yaz
November 03 2013, 12:38AM
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Circle Nov 16th on the calendar, HNIC and we're in Calgary. By then we'll be something like 3/16/2 and will get spanked again. If that doesn't get the good old boys network fired nothing ever will. There are no fixes out there, the coaches have long since lost the room and we've succeeded in turning our young guns into someone nobody will trade for. We're so screwed and nobody can fix it anytime soon. I am just so damn disappointed with this mess.

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#36 TDSM31
November 03 2013, 03:51AM
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Well, that was worth the 5 hour white knuckle drive back home to Chestermere...Oilers, you owe me my hour of daylight savings back, mutherf*ckers.

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#37 OilersSuck
November 02 2013, 08:49PM
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Why the f u c k is this building full every night? I wouldn't pay to watch this f u cking crap

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#38 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:24PM
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5-0 2 shots in ten minutes of the third.

This is

Rock.

Bottom.

Heads Have To ROLL.

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#39 Loweblows
November 02 2013, 08:48PM
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Note to oilers: the blades on your feet do not move themselves, the black thing sliding around is called the "puck"', the other team is red, skate towards the goalie wearing red and the black thing you try and put behind him, try and keep the black slidy thing out of your net.

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#40 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 08:50PM
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The only good thing about tonight is that the Wings also play non-contact. The little kids on the Oilers will live to play another day.

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#41 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 09:59PM
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Eakins has clearly lost the room. Time to remove him.

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#42 BrutalOilers
November 02 2013, 10:29PM
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So....... I am so confused....... This team and the local media have lead us to believe this team was in a great position for rebuilding and yet teams like Colorado and Toronto are WAY, WAY ahead of us and I am certain most people thought we had the rebuild right. That Edmonton was doing the rebuild the PROPER way!! What a load of crap. This is embarrassing!!

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#43 Ryan2
November 02 2013, 10:46PM
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All I am going to say is Krueger had less to work with and got more in half a season without a training camp than Eakins has so far this year. This is a joke - there is no structure at all to the defensive play. You could see the players overthinking things at the start, now it looks like they have just given up on the masterful strategery of the coaching staff. Just like employees not following a weak manager at work, the players look like they are giving up on Eakins already. This team needs a more experienced coach that can command some respect from the players.

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#44 dougtheslug
November 02 2013, 01:25PM
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Justin Schulz being replaced by Phil Larsen. Pitlick and Perron still out.Ryan Hamilton in. After 6 years in the toilet Oilers are still icing an AHL lineup, only now it is only 15 games into the season. I do not know what else to say.

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#45 FireKLowe
November 02 2013, 09:52PM
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Fire Kevin Lowe immediately! He is the only common denominator in this "failed" rebuild. This is plain and simply embarrassing.

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#46 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 10:19PM
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Uhhhh....you know, well obviously it's disappointing. You know, uhhhh...it's unacceptable and obviously we have to obviously be more obviously....uhhhh..... - every single Oiler 'hockey player' being interviewed after the game.

Except Hemsky.

Who has a thing has to rush away to.

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#47 Fresh Mess
November 02 2013, 10:45PM
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If Eakins gets sacked, Lowe should be demoted to head coach. Let him deal with the mess he created.

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#48 Sammy
November 02 2013, 11:31PM
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dougtheslug wrote:

Something died inside of me tonight. I was at the game and left after the second period. The worst Oiler performance I've ever seen, and seen a lot over the past 35 years. Walking back through the blizzard, I really felt I can't do it anymore. I'm tired of caring more than the team does. I'm feeling more sad than angry, though. I think maybe it's just time to move on.

I feel your pain Doug. I actually found myself laughing after the last couple of wings goals. It may have been have been the rye talking but I just don't care anymore. How sad is that 6 rings!!!!

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#49 Smokey
November 02 2013, 11:33PM
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Its Taylor Hall's fault the sky is falling cause he's texting on the phone and eating a hotdog. Why the hell is he eating hotdogs anyways. Its all his damn fault. If he really cared about us Oilers fans he'd be eating ricecakes and greatfruits while riding the exercise bike on the highest resistance at full tilt. Its all his damn fault we are loosing...Trade him for the rights to Peter Ing and Jim Korn and Mike Palmateer.

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#50 K_Mart
November 02 2013, 04:37PM
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I just sent out props to every comment, good or bad. Even DSF. How's that for sending positive energy out into the universe.

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