GDB 15.0: RED WINGS

Wanye
November 02 2013 01:09PM

 

Jason Gregor texted me to say "I have baby business to attend to on Saturday. Gregor 2,0 is only weeks away. I will need you to write the GDB for the Red Wings game." "Me?" we replied "last time I wrote a GDB people said it was silly and cried for you to write every one until 2099."

Well one doesn't argue with Jason Gregor if one hopes to be alive for the next Oilers win. So here goes nothing.

AND SO IT CONTINUES

How many ways are there to say that the Oilers rebuild is taking longer than it took to rebuild Europe after WWII?  At some point we start to scramble for new acronyms making a chase for last place an exciting proposition.

After the pantsing the Leafs gave the Oil on Tuesday - in front of LeafsNation Steve Dangle who had flown in for the match no less - it is hard to make bold predictions of Oilers wins. We sat there at Rexall Place, next to the King of all Maple Leafs fans watching them cheer and smile and raise their fists in triumph. We want that so badly for all our fellow Oilers fans it hurts.

Yes, if you told us "Wanye, all you have to do is get hit by a car and the Oil will turn around quick as a flash" we would run screaming from Wanye Manor and get hit square by the first motorcar we happened to see. Sadly it ain't that easy. But there are still things we can do as Oilers fans to try and turn the ship around.

In fact we have an idea.

AN IDEA

We hockey fans are a superstitious lot. Lucky underwear, lucky beer brand, lucky type of fur coat deodorizer. Cheering from the same seat on the couch. We all have some little foible we cling to in the hopes it makes our beloved Oilers win. Well Nation whatever we are doing is wrong.

We need to collectively reboot our lucky charms and send a wave of new karma out into the universe. Rather than focusing on what we don't want - more losses, more injuries, more Grebeshkovs in the lineup - we need to take new actions focused on what we want.

Wins.

Pictured at the top of the article is our most prized possession - our Eberle jersey purchased minutes after 14 scored his mind shattering first goal in the NHL. Thinking it was lucky we haven't so much as cleaned it once in the 4 years since. At the quarter pole of his 5th season it is clear the luck ain't working.

So we took the jersey to the cleaners on Thursday and got it back clean as clean can be. This was our major good luck charm these past 4 years and we wouldn't dream of doing this normally. But drastic times call for drastic measures. We invite you to reconsider whatever lucky charms you have and bring new ones out. The team needs it Nation. It's the only thing left we can think of doing.

Let us know if you think of anything you can do to reboot the franchise's luck. Burn your lucky drawers. Switch brands of game day beer. Remarry a new luckier wife if you think it will help. Just do something positive that is a break with the past.

We beg you.

LINEUP - GOOD

 

According to DailyFaceOff.com the Oilers are icing the forward corps above and the defensive pairings below. And according to the very same site Bachman will get the start in between the pipes tonight.

LINEUP - BAD

 

Forwards up, defense below and something called a Petr Mrazek will be tending for the Wings tonight. Poor bugger won't even have a chance. 

 

PREDICTIONS R US

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers win 4-2 shocking many including the Oilers themselves.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: During the second intermission Coack Babcock screams at Mrazek to step his game up to which the goalie tearfully replies "I don't even know who I am. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU START ME IN AN NHL GAME?"

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Hearing about the jersey cleaning Jordan Eberle pots a pair of goals. In the post game scrum he comments "I knew something was holding me back this year. Here all this time it was a ratty jersey covered in shots of Jack Daniels from the Pint. I wish Wanye had gotten his hygenic act together years ago."

Hearing my name mentioned by King Jordan I immediately transcend into a beam of pure joy and shoot into space.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 FireKLowe
November 02 2013, 10:23PM
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I'm sure the likes of Jonathan Willis and other homies will find positives from tonight's game and throw stupid corsi stats at us to show the team is improving. Please don't bother!!!

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#52 Kevin
November 02 2013, 10:54PM
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Serious Gord wrote:

Listening to 6:30. Where's stauffer?

He's polishing Katz's shoes.

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#53 Jordan1126
November 03 2013, 07:28AM
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geez, this was horrible...at least it wasn't on national tv or anything :P .... honestly though can someone please tell me what kind of system the oilers are playing??? I brought my wife to this game..the first game she has been to in 5 years...Not being much of a hockey fan her only words were "they play like they dont care".....I thought we were promised fitness and compete this year by eakins...so far all I have seen are injuries and excuses....

I wish the Oilers would put in half the effort on the ice as I see them do on the oilers facebook page regarding their effort to dress up for halloween and party...

If I was on this team right now the only thing that would be on my mind is how to win, and how to get the team to win....not how good i would look as a hot dog for halloween (j schultz)....perhaps the team can wear the hot dogs on the ice next game, it would at least match their play as it looks like a bunch of weiners running around with no clue of what to do.

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#54 Oilersfan4
November 02 2013, 09:09PM
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Not even Don Cherry wants to talk about the Oilers mess on coaches corner. Didn't even give the Oilers the time of day. I don't blame him. I'm a fan and I'm embarrassed. Just like other fans my patience is wearing thin.

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#55 Harlie
November 02 2013, 10:29PM
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OUR GOAL IS

KLOWE - Win the Stanley Cup

MacT - Make the Playoffs

Eakins - Win a Game

Oilers - Break a Shutout

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#56 Time Travelling Sean
November 02 2013, 11:16PM
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Fresh Mess wrote:

He's texting his agent saying "get me out of this hellhole YESTERDAY!"

He's part of this hellhole...He's part of this culture, he's part of the on-ice product.

He shouldn't be so aloof/apathetic/lackadaisical about this mess he's the center of.

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#57 Serious Gord
November 03 2013, 07:44AM
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As bad as the oil are - and they are bad - I took a look at the records for the bottom dwellers in the east...

So much for parity - there is the whole spectrum in this league, with the sole thing lacking being a dynasty-type winning team.

There is however a dynasty losing team - and that is none other than the oil. Unquestionably the worst team of the cap era.

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#59 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 10:55PM
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Dan 1919 wrote:

I saw some positive signs in tonight's game. Just kidding, I didn't.

Dan, I don't prop easily but that was funny.

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#60 15w40
November 03 2013, 07:48AM
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CBC is going to start playing re-runs of the Road to Avonlea instead of broadcasting the late game if the Oilers are the only Canadian team in the match.

Not that I watched a whole bunch of it but the 10 minutes of the game that I did see in passing were pretty representative of the other 50 minutes.

It's not longer even maddening anymore. Its like watching a huge wreck unfold in slow motion with some commercials mixed in - like in Talladega Nights.

It goes from being comical to just flat out - meh........

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#61 Lowetide
November 02 2013, 01:45PM
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Wanye wrote:

I BEG YOU TO DRINK ROYAL RESERVE AND PEPSI FOR THE GOOD OF OUR OILERS

DONE!

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#62 Rob Gilgan
November 02 2013, 09:56PM
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Out. Finished. What an awful hockey team.

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#63 Alsker
November 02 2013, 10:43PM
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Fresh Mess wrote:

He's texting his agent saying "get me out of this hellhole YESTERDAY!"

You got it all wrong, 6M a year to do as you please, no pressure, no worries, maybe 4/5 years from now BUT today, not a chance.

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#64 Jerry
November 02 2013, 10:48PM
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Kevin Lowe Now I want you to take a step back... and literally f your own face!

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#65 Headberg
November 03 2013, 01:54AM
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First time posting, follower of many years. Just felt like I finally needed to throw my 2 cents into the ring. Didn't follow the game tonight, intentionally, and by the look of things, boy am I glad. It feels great. Growing up on the Oilers religiously since the days of the Cape Breton Oilers, yes I am from Cape Breton, despite their deplorable performance in recent years, I have never felt as compelled to give them the middle finger as I currently do. I am proud that I was able to resist the urge of watching yet another gong show this evening, and nor do I intend on watching another game this season. Some might argue that I am misguided, but I feel as though I am a leading example, illustrating that the BS during the past 20 years, minus '06, is not acceptable, and I will not stand for it any longer. I've suffered long enough as a passionate loyal fan, receiving the brunt of jokes for many years, and I am done with this joke of a franchise until they become relevant again. Katz will receive no revenue from me any more, until this team demonstrates that they actually care about winning. I am done, and I leave with a big middle finger stuck strait up, pointing at the Oilers for all the lies and the complete indifference towards respectability. They do not deserve me as a fan, screw them.

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#66 Tier2
November 03 2013, 07:44AM
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Thank God I'm a second tier fan (I.e. Not good enough for KLowe to waste time with ). This rebuild had been botched from day one.

1. Get a goalie...draft , trade , free agent; whatever if takes . 2. Get DMen ... Ryan Murray? Develop Schultz in thd minors until he can play NHL minutes. Take notes from Detroit . We have a slew of DMen who can't play. 3. Centers.... Can't have enough . RNH will be ok. Should have taken galchenyuk, not another winger.

Turning over coaches has told the players that there crap don't stink . They are now totally unaccountable and that can't be fixed until they are broken up . Pick one or two and make a bold move. Might get less skill back but more compete to offset the skill.

It ain't Eakins. He had a stellar rep throughout the league prior to being hired here. He needs time to implement his direction but needs two thing : 1. Players who want and can learn and listen. Find out who the main culprits are and get their asses out of here. 2. Competent assistants who can help teach and coach. I'm betting Eakins ' ambition to be a head coach overrode his better judgement about hiring his own assistants; guys he knows can coach and guys he trusts. Nobody tell me he had a choice about KB and SS. That directive cams from Lowe and MacT.

And if Messier is in fact brought in in some capacity, then it will definitely prove that Katz is just a jock sniffer with no real interest in winning. And why would he ? Building is full of first tier fans buying stuff.

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#67 Cubsfan
November 02 2013, 09:18PM
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Holy Cr*p...we're the team everyone plays their back up goalies against.....

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#68 Seriously
November 02 2013, 10:08PM
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FireKLowe wrote:

Fire Kevin Lowe immediately! He is the only common denominator in this "failed" rebuild. This is plain and simply embarrassing.

Well Kevin did say "he knows something about WINNING!" yeah it sure "F"'n looks like it tonight!! Here is a news flash Kevin Lowe... Your glory days are over!!!!!!! If you had any balls, you should man up, do all the fans of Edmonton a favor, and leave the organization!!!!!

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#69 Crusty Grit
November 02 2013, 10:41PM
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Nordiques traded their picks away, moved and won the cup... very soon after. Can we do it without moving? Can we please now make a "team".

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#70 Greg
November 03 2013, 01:09AM
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it's getting bad when inside, you find yourself cheering for the other team. just so we as fans can prove our point.

i'll cry myself to sleep tonight, and i wont be using tissues from Rexall... Viva la Shoppers Drug Mart!

Oh, and i almost forgot.

FIRE KEVIN LOWE!

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#71 spliff
November 03 2013, 06:43AM
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Saskguy wrote:

I didn't agree with the last 2 coach firings, but I gotta say, I think he should have came in as Ralphs assistant. I just hope this dressing room Isn't beyond repair. If it helps make a trade send Yak and who ever has the poorest attitude amongst Ebs, Nuge and Hall. They really miss Perron when he's not in the line up... GRIT

Which team will want Ebs, Nuge or Hall? All making 6 bills a year, and not showing they are worth that kind of coin.

The Oil have really painted themselves into a corner. I wonder how many interviews MacT had with Eakins before the was hired? Getting the right coach crucial, but from what I understand Eakins was hired after one interview. If that is the case, this is complete negligence by MacT. You'd think MacT would check out Eakins systems proposal and do a pros and cons analysis. It all smells like amateurville to me, but then why am I surprised. The management of this team has been amateurish for 20 years know.

Like many poster here, I am a lifelong diehard fan, and I keep hanging in there, checking the scores and trying to be hopeful, but last night's game was a real turn-off. I am getting closer and closer to apathy. The goal for an NHL team is to win the Cup, and Step One is making the playoffs. We are so far away from Step One, and have been for too long that whats the point in cheering for this team. What is the f*cking point in cheering for a team, whose management is so mediocre, that they can't get their team even close to the playoffs, in a league where 16/30 teams make the playoffs?

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#72 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 08:44PM
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Bachman Turner Overweight fakes an injury to get out of Dodge before the Wings hit double digits.

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#73 Doug Diggler
November 02 2013, 09:28PM
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hrudey "oilers trying to get an energy shift," get real kelly this team hasn't seen energy outside the beer lines for years

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#74 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 09:30PM
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I wonder if season's tickets holders will notice the difference in smell before and after CFR?

Doubt it.

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#75 Jerod
November 02 2013, 09:33PM
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They have won 14 of there last 41 games at home. Perhaps this is a problem Kevin?

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#76 Kevin
November 02 2013, 10:40PM
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Reg Dunlop wrote:

I just put on two paper bags in case one rips.

good one- I think we should start marketing these paper bags. Make a killing $$. We could negotiate a deal with Katz to sell them at Rexall.

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#77 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 11:08PM
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I give full credit to Ference for facing the HNIC panel after that debacle. Doesn't he know he will be late to the nightclub? Taylor Hall's sloppy seconds for the captain.

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#78 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 09:59PM
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Eakins has clearly lost the room. Time to remove him.

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#79 rectal place
November 02 2013, 11:40PM
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Smokey wrote:

Its Taylor Hall's fault the sky is falling cause he's texting on the phone and eating a hotdog. Why the hell is he eating hotdogs anyways. Its all his damn fault. If he really cared about us Oilers fans he'd be eating ricecakes and greatfruits while riding the exercise bike on the highest resistance at full tilt. Its all his damn fault we are loosing...Trade him for the rights to Peter Ing and Jim Korn and Mike Palmateer.

Grapefruit and losing would be the words you were looking for.

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#80 madjam
November 02 2013, 11:53PM
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I see a lot of positives from this game . We are positively not a contender nor are we good enough anymore to even be a pretender . We are positively a bad hockey club . Positive is making your hockey picks on lotteries another Oiler loss - that's beneficial . They positively had a legitimate shot at next years NBR.1 pick . They now look like they are a fair weather team - to bad it snowed today . Second verse , same as the first , as far as next stage of continuous rebuild . That's a lot of positives . Some times no change is good - at least we know what to expect ?

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#81 Buzz
November 03 2013, 01:01AM
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6 ring circus wrote:

Is it to late to ask for a refund on my season tickets?

No. But I'll wager you'll look twice at that invoice before you plop down any more ticket money into Katz' sweaty little palm next spring.

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#82 boxman
November 03 2013, 07:42AM
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dougtheslug wrote:

Something died inside of me tonight. I was at the game and left after the second period. The worst Oiler performance I've ever seen, and seen a lot over the past 35 years. Walking back through the blizzard, I really felt I can't do it anymore. I'm tired of caring more than the team does. I'm feeling more sad than angry, though. I think maybe it's just time to move on.

I joined the tier one fans at Rexall last night and I felt sad for all the season ticket holders. Never mind that the team itself was whipped and lifeless as the fans seemed even more beaten and bruised. Most fans were way more despondent than angry. Between periods fans were not talking about what needs to be done but rather avoiding the subject of hockey altogether. The lad who took me to the game had four tickets 7 rows up near Detroits' bench and he couldn't give away the tickets. For gords sake Detroit was playing and no one would take the free tickets. I know Edmonton fans have been loyal to a fault but I sense a change. Apathy is replacing anger and I wish I still cared enough to yell at Lowe. I don't. The Oilers are taking their soul sucking act on the road now but really....... who cares.

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#83 bwar
November 02 2013, 01:45PM
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Wayne can you please write every GDB? This made my day.
I think Gregor has been the Oilers unlucky charm. 5-0 Oil. Eberle gets all five and Wayne wins $1,000,000 via Safeway Score and Win. Which he immediately invests the winnings in dry cleaning gift cards to ensure his jersey is never dirty again.

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#84 FIREEAKINS
November 02 2013, 08:47PM
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EP wrote:

Joey MacDonald is on waivers- pick him up.

Yes because the Oilers need ANOTHER $hit backup goalie

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#85 Ari Gold
November 02 2013, 09:26PM
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Eakins is a bust. The team played much better under Kreuger. Sad to say it.

I was praying for them to sign Ruff or Torts. What a joke this team is.

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#86 james_dean
November 02 2013, 10:53PM
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I am a type 2 fan

Only going to games for free

I can see why season ticketholders are upset.

Wonder if we will ever hear the "fire Eakins" chants ala ACC

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#87 FIREEAKINS
November 03 2013, 12:28AM
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Now that Horcoff is gone people have to find a new player to blame. What I don't understand is the player you people pick to blame. Taylor Hall is the best player on this team. He plays hard and with his heart. Idiots. Dallas Eakins is problem #1, his "systems" are f u c k i n g terrible. All the other NHL proven coaches must laugh at this goon.

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#88 Naky
November 03 2013, 12:35AM
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I'd almost rather forfeit all the games then have to watch this crap every other night. If you're not gonna put in any effort when you play, you may as well be honest about it up front and just wave the white flag without even trying.

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#89 hemi
November 03 2013, 07:14AM
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With the amount of traffic noted by the infrequent posters but many readers of ON, it is very clear that fans have become at the very least, "tired" of the promises supplied to the supporters of the Mighty Oil for the last 8 years. (For some of us, the promise has gone on longer than the often re-labeled "Rebuild".

I fully understand and have experienced it myself in my own job, that management does in fact walk around with a huge target on their backs. I suspect most folks get the drift that Management cannot please everyone all of the time. However, I have worked with others in my worklife whom where head and shoulders better than me and there were some whom I could only ask, " how in the hell did you get hired and why are you still here"?

I find myself asking why the Oil's Management are still around. When do you call a SPADE a SPADE? Perhaps now is that time.

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#90 pelhem grenville
November 03 2013, 08:12AM
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...I pvr'd this game, got up, put the clocks back an hour read this blog and deleted it...

I think i'm a leaf fan now...

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#91 Oilers=bottom3rdofLeague
November 02 2013, 09:44PM
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The Edmonton Oilers........ Where talent goes to die!!

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#92 Rob Gilgan
November 02 2013, 10:21PM
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Dave wrote:

Any fans still watching the game at Rexall ?

The Oilers are watching the game. They just watched Bertuzzi and Andersson score.

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#93 Crusty Grit
November 02 2013, 10:34PM
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This has to be some sort of psychological experiment. Nothing else makes sense at this point.

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#94 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:51PM
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They now don't play a home game for eleven days. I bet they will be happy to get on the charter.

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#95 FireKLowe
November 02 2013, 11:21PM
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Dan 1919 wrote:

I saw some positive signs in tonight's game. Just kidding, I didn't.

I'm sure JW and the rest of the homies from EJ will find positives ...

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#96 Btk1979
November 02 2013, 11:27PM
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We might as well get used to praying for Connor McDavid in two years.

http://www.eliteprospects.com/player.php?player=183442

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#97 DCC
November 03 2013, 12:52AM
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@rectal place

Love your name....anyone that enters that building is getting bent over.

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#98 Loweblows
November 03 2013, 08:08AM
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GK1980 wrote:

The Oilers have become the nerd of the NHL. It's the kid on the playground nobody hangs out with and if a fist a cuffs occurs you want to make sure you DON'T lose to the nerd because 28 of your other buddies are standing around watching you. The Florida / Edmonton game should be fun, watching these two teams slap each other around and pull each others hair. Two of the NHL's nerds going at it while the 28 other teams stand around and laugh. Jebus!

Are you kidding me? We're going to get bitch slapped by Florida. To compare the Oilers to the Panthers is laughable. The oilers couldn't beat a ringette team right now. Everything and I mean everything is wrong about this team. Please Oiler players just go lose your effin games and keep your effin mouths shut after you lose. Your cliches make me puke. Can they play the remainder of the season without their crest on their jerseys? Please Katz take your effin team to Seattle and eff off! Robin Brownlee said this site shouldn't be a personal site to attack players and that it should be a site dedicated to hockey. Well guess what Robin , this effin team doesn't play hockey so what the hell are we supposed to talk about?

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#99 Vincheese
November 02 2013, 01:15PM
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Remember there's one other guy working in hockey that has more cups than K-Lowe. so he knows a thing or two about winning.

Let's take a more recent approach. Is there even one more GM in hockey that's lost as much as Kevin Lowe has in hockey? Just sayin'........

That clip still makes my skin crawl.

In any case, the Oilers will get dominated tonight, as per usual. The not so obvious gameday prediction is that Stephen Weiss will come out of his slump to make things happen for Detroit offensively.

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