GDB 15.0: RED WINGS

Wanye
November 02 2013 01:09PM

 

Jason Gregor texted me to say "I have baby business to attend to on Saturday. Gregor 2,0 is only weeks away. I will need you to write the GDB for the Red Wings game." "Me?" we replied "last time I wrote a GDB people said it was silly and cried for you to write every one until 2099."

Well one doesn't argue with Jason Gregor if one hopes to be alive for the next Oilers win. So here goes nothing.

AND SO IT CONTINUES

How many ways are there to say that the Oilers rebuild is taking longer than it took to rebuild Europe after WWII?  At some point we start to scramble for new acronyms making a chase for last place an exciting proposition.

After the pantsing the Leafs gave the Oil on Tuesday - in front of LeafsNation Steve Dangle who had flown in for the match no less - it is hard to make bold predictions of Oilers wins. We sat there at Rexall Place, next to the King of all Maple Leafs fans watching them cheer and smile and raise their fists in triumph. We want that so badly for all our fellow Oilers fans it hurts.

Yes, if you told us "Wanye, all you have to do is get hit by a car and the Oil will turn around quick as a flash" we would run screaming from Wanye Manor and get hit square by the first motorcar we happened to see. Sadly it ain't that easy. But there are still things we can do as Oilers fans to try and turn the ship around.

In fact we have an idea.

AN IDEA

We hockey fans are a superstitious lot. Lucky underwear, lucky beer brand, lucky type of fur coat deodorizer. Cheering from the same seat on the couch. We all have some little foible we cling to in the hopes it makes our beloved Oilers win. Well Nation whatever we are doing is wrong.

We need to collectively reboot our lucky charms and send a wave of new karma out into the universe. Rather than focusing on what we don't want - more losses, more injuries, more Grebeshkovs in the lineup - we need to take new actions focused on what we want.

Wins.

Pictured at the top of the article is our most prized possession - our Eberle jersey purchased minutes after 14 scored his mind shattering first goal in the NHL. Thinking it was lucky we haven't so much as cleaned it once in the 4 years since. At the quarter pole of his 5th season it is clear the luck ain't working.

So we took the jersey to the cleaners on Thursday and got it back clean as clean can be. This was our major good luck charm these past 4 years and we wouldn't dream of doing this normally. But drastic times call for drastic measures. We invite you to reconsider whatever lucky charms you have and bring new ones out. The team needs it Nation. It's the only thing left we can think of doing.

Let us know if you think of anything you can do to reboot the franchise's luck. Burn your lucky drawers. Switch brands of game day beer. Remarry a new luckier wife if you think it will help. Just do something positive that is a break with the past.

We beg you.

LINEUP - GOOD

 

According to DailyFaceOff.com the Oilers are icing the forward corps above and the defensive pairings below. And according to the very same site Bachman will get the start in between the pipes tonight.

LINEUP - BAD

 

Forwards up, defense below and something called a Petr Mrazek will be tending for the Wings tonight. Poor bugger won't even have a chance. 

 

PREDICTIONS R US

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers win 4-2 shocking many including the Oilers themselves.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: During the second intermission Coack Babcock screams at Mrazek to step his game up to which the goalie tearfully replies "I don't even know who I am. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU START ME IN AN NHL GAME?"

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Hearing about the jersey cleaning Jordan Eberle pots a pair of goals. In the post game scrum he comments "I knew something was holding me back this year. Here all this time it was a ratty jersey covered in shots of Jack Daniels from the Pint. I wish Wanye had gotten his hygenic act together years ago."

Hearing my name mentioned by King Jordan I immediately transcend into a beam of pure joy and shoot into space.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#201 Cubsfan
November 02 2013, 09:07PM
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Did we trade Babe Ruth or not let a goat in the stadium.....?

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#202 Harry
November 02 2013, 09:22PM
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Please everybody

Stop going to Oilers games and do not buy anything with an Oilers logo on it. Enough is enough

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#203 Harry
November 02 2013, 09:38PM
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Did Hrudey honestly just say that Hemsky has one of the beat wrist shots in the NHL? What a complete TOOL

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#204 Oilersfan4
November 02 2013, 10:12PM
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You know what's wrong with Edmonton sports team? Let's look at the Esks Kavis Reed, played 10yrs ago, Ed Hervey played 10yrs ago , now let's look at the Oilers KLowe, MacT, Bucky, Steve Smith and Katz still stuck in the past. NO one knows how the game is played NOW. Our sports teams seem to thing history matters, although all those championship are great nobody cares about yesterday it's all about today or tomorrow

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#205 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:43PM
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Listening to 6:30. Where's stauffer?

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#206 Cameron
November 03 2013, 07:31AM
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"Lucy, you got some splainin to do"

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#207 Next up, is Connor McJesus.
November 03 2013, 09:13AM
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29th place.....YES!

Don't act like we don't still need this.

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#208 K_Mart
November 03 2013, 11:57AM
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Zarny wrote:

100% correct.

It's sad how many people wet their pants after one month.

Based on their career Octobers Iginla and Luongo wouldn't even be NHL players.

It's not October. It's every game for the last 7 years.

I didn't expect the Oilers to win last night. I never expect teh Oilers to win. But I certainly expected a better effort than what was on display.

The team is trash. It's obvious. Everything is as bad or worse than it was last year.

Turnovers are up, corsi is where it was, physicality is where it was, injuries are wwaaaaaaaaaaaay up.

Eakins has the toughest job in the nhl, and I have nothing but sympathy for him.

The oilers need to stop saying the right things and start DOING the right things.

Suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. Until they prove otherwise, they are trash.

Get healthy, and start playing properly.

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#209 Johe
November 02 2013, 01:17PM
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Those lineups are slightly out of date.

WE WANT GREGOR BACK!!!

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#210 mlcsellil
November 02 2013, 02:02PM
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OMG--getting away from tradition. I have worn my Oiler jersey since forever. If doing the opposite or something else unthinkable and outrageous, is going to be our ticket to get in the win column, then I must buy a Flame jersey. Jesus Christ have mercy on me. No, come to think of it I'd rather take the loss---can't wear anything Flames----GO OIL

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#211 Todd
November 02 2013, 03:48PM
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@Wanye

@WANYE - For the next photoshop contest.

http://i.imgur.com/1XIyPjN.jpg

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#212 Oilers need Ogie Ogilthorpe!
November 02 2013, 04:31PM
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So, do I leave the Gags jersey in the closet and wear the Gilbert instead?

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#213 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 08:30PM
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Honestly blind-faithers - this has gotta be ridiculously hard to keep up.

Did people watch Van vs. Toronto - that game had nothing to do with a single game the Oilers have played in years. Fast. Hard hitting. Mean.

The Oilers.

Have "so much skill and upside".

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#214 OilersSuck
November 02 2013, 08:39PM
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OILERS SUCK ASS! THEY ARE SO DAMN BAD! I AM STARTING TO HATE THE OILERS!

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#215 EP
November 02 2013, 08:45PM
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Joey MacDonald is on waivers- pick him up.

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#216 youguysarehotgarbage
November 02 2013, 08:54PM
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@OilersSuck

hahahaha...eat it oiler douche, tell me how good you'll be next year

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#217 Sammy
November 02 2013, 10:09PM
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Fred wrote:

How much do they pay Kevin Lowe?

TO MUCH!!!!!!

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#218 Gordie Wayne
November 02 2013, 10:34PM
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At first I thought Gregor was a bit nuts with his "dressing room cleanse" or whatever he was calling it, but it might be time to try something as stupid as that...can we please just make it out of this game without someone else getting hurt...this team must be cursed.

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#219 jimmy
November 02 2013, 11:12PM
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Kevin wrote:

He's polishing Katz's shoes.

i was gonna say something else....

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#220 Quinn the Eskimo
November 02 2013, 11:54PM
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FIRE ALL BOYS ON THE BUS wrote:

What a joke.... No words. I did see this link before the game and it made me laugh. Maybe we all need a laugh (at Kevin Lowe's expense)

http://i.imgur.com/1XIyPjN.jpg

good work by whoever made this...

The one laugh from the night. Listening to Strudwick right now. Ghastly. I'll be puking Blue, White and Sh!t Orange for the next 5 months.

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#221 Zarny
November 03 2013, 01:06AM
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I'm sorry but the panic is funny.

The team is struggling and the solution is to get rid of a guy who hasn't played since '98?

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#222 Smokey
November 03 2013, 09:22AM
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Greg wrote:

it's getting bad when inside, you find yourself cheering for the other team. just so we as fans can prove our point.

i'll cry myself to sleep tonight, and i wont be using tissues from Rexall... Viva la Shoppers Drug Mart!

Oh, and i almost forgot.

FIRE KEVIN LOWE!

I join you on your Rexall boycott...Off to Shoppers for milk...

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#223 rob
November 03 2013, 10:37AM
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Hire Gordon Ramsey as the coach,mabey he could motivate these guys!

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#224 Oiler Al
November 03 2013, 11:33AM
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Zamboni Driver wrote:

Oh another person smarter than all the rest of us.

Good.

you let us know when it's okay to be concerned.

3 wins in 15 games is not a problem then. Second last in the NHL is a-okay. WHEW. Here I thought the point was to, you know, WIN a few more.

In fact the point is.........well actually I don't know.

Zanboni Driver, watch what the heck you say about Zarny, ... why the other day he posted that he was a graduate engineer and was making $200 grand a year.... You dont want to mess with that genius, he might fall of his pedestal.

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#225 Reg Dunlop
November 03 2013, 11:57AM
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@boxman

Zarny is an engineer? Wow, I always wanted to drive a train.

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#227 MessyEH!
November 02 2013, 02:24PM
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DSF wrote:

Yakupov-Gagner-Hemsky

vs.

Datsyuk-Zetterberg-Bertuzzi

What could go wrong?

Keeping with Wanyes theme. ..

If things go wrong we win.If they go as expected we lose.

Here's hoping for the wrong result.

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#228 Wait until next year!!
November 02 2013, 09:17PM
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My eye started twitching after the second goal. Is this a sign?

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#229 Outdoors guy
November 02 2013, 09:35PM
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THE OILER ORGANIZATION IS A JOKE. WHY CAN' T Katz see that? Oh wait , he he wants to collect life size hockey cards. Kevin Lowe is #1. He' s got it, No point in worrying now?

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#230 Ivan Drago
November 02 2013, 10:31PM
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All right. Eff this and eff Tuesday night as well. I'm off to play NHL 14 where MY fantasy oilers actually win sometimes, and in which I try harder than the plugs on this team.

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#231 Harry
November 02 2013, 10:33PM
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Belov down....HELLO KLEFBOM!!

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#232 Rod from Viking
November 02 2013, 10:34PM
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Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty) wrote:

The culture of losing persists......no hits, no fights, no crashing the net, no emotion, no nothing......nothing from the coach....nobody on the bench even seems bothered ...should be interesting to what MacT has to say post game.

Mac T hasn't done an interview since? Now Belov injured, what kind of "After Hours" lip service is their captain going to give.

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#233 Oilersfan4
November 02 2013, 10:54PM
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At this rate we well surely land Connor McDavid next year

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#234 Phil
November 02 2013, 11:12PM
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Kevin wrote:

good one- I think we should start marketing these paper bags. Make a killing $$. We could negotiate a deal with Katz to sell them at Rexall.

Use Rexall pharmacy bags instead!

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#235 BLAKPOO
November 03 2013, 03:56AM
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Zarny wrote:

I'm sorry but the panic is funny.

The team is struggling and the solution is to get rid of a guy who hasn't played since '98?

I hear ya. I've tried to make this point before too, but it's hard to argue when the team looks so terrible.

There does need to be a shake up. This team's so apathetic right now, there needs to be some kind of catalyst to turn this ship around. Even the call-ups don't look like they want to make this team.

Time to do something. Anything.

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#236 frank
November 03 2013, 07:48AM
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It is total team defense that is the problem along wih too many small forwards. If ourforwards were capable of sustaining some pressure team would be better off. We can get the best goalie in the. World and I would not help. You can not put gagner yak ebs hall rnh together because it is not the right mix they all have talent but oo small. Getting a big skilled power forward is difficult toget bu one with some balls to help make some room for our little guys is not . Size does make a difference.

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#237 madjam
November 03 2013, 09:02AM
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They sure know how to take the spirit and entertainment out of hockey . Our winters are not even that bad .

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#238 DSF
November 03 2013, 10:42AM
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Amidst all the teeth gnashing I thought some observations from the around the league might be of interest:

1) The Edmonton Oilers recorded 14 SOG last night. Alex Edler recorded 12.

2) James Mirtle ‏@mirtle

According to Elias Sports Bureau, Colorado is the fifth team in NHL history to begin a season by winning 12 of its first 13 games.

3) Terry Jones ‏@sunterryjones

Edmonton dropped from eighth to 14th in faceoffs in one game. Sam Gagner won one faceoff of 11 and wasn't sent to the dot in the 3rd period

4) Bob McKenzie ‏@TSNBobMcKenzie

CAR puts Brett Sutter on waivers.

5) Extra Skater ‏@ExtraSkater

Last night's possession all-stars (5v5 corsi): Hamhuis 89% (31-4), Tanev 87% (26-4), Drew Miller 86% (19-3), Santorelli 83% (24-5) Retweeted by Scott Cullen

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#239 6 ring circus
November 03 2013, 12:49PM
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@DSFisGay

There is a reason why there is a trash button on posts,just because you don't agree with what someone posts ,it does not give you the right to personally attack someone like you did.This is a oilers fans site maybe try sticking to what's been posted instead of bashing someone.I may not agree with what gets posted on here sometimes but you have crossed the line .

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#240 Walter White
November 02 2013, 01:15PM
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fist and formost Wayne - I thik you GDB zre awesome

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#241 TayLordBalls
November 02 2013, 04:27PM
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Wayne is a pessimist!

In October of 1983, Edmonton elected Laurence Decore as our new mayor. The Oilers went on to win the cup in following spring.

Fast forward

2013, Almost exactly 30 years to the day - Edmonton elects a new mayor.

I think this team is no way near a peak and is loaded for bear with talent.

Although it has been a poor start - that's expected for a new coach, new system and new players.

2014 - Edmonton wins a cup!

GO OIL

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#242 BingBong
November 02 2013, 08:29PM
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Is this a joke? Is it April 1st? Did they really have 3 days off and start this badly?

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#243 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 08:53PM
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By the way #43 on the Wings is frickin' fast.

THEY'RE STEALING OUR THING

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#244 OilersSuck
November 02 2013, 08:57PM
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youguysarehotgarbage wrote:

hahahaha...eat it oiler douche, tell me how good you'll be next year

right cause the flames are so good, they are gonna be competing with EDM for No. 1 overall by the end of the month

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#245 oilredemption
November 02 2013, 09:07PM
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REINHART!REINHART!REINHART!

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#246 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 09:19PM
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Sure Datsuyk is good.

But what does he think about Yakupov??

That's the important question, right Edmonton media?

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#247 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 09:24PM
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Wow Hrudey.

I know about the 'goalie club' but there is NO DEFENCE for giving up a goal from that far away.

Dude's job is to STOP the puck.

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#248 @Oilanderp
November 02 2013, 10:33PM
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AAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAAAAA

*cries self to sleep*

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#249 Btk1979
November 02 2013, 11:02PM
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@Oilersfan4

God, it is all I have left as an oiler fan. In Connor we trust.

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#250 rectal place
November 02 2013, 11:50PM
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Smokey wrote:

Thanx Anil boy. Its Tayler Hall fault I ain't spel to gud to.

Anil man. And you're welcome.

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