GDB 15.0: RED WINGS

Wanye
November 02 2013 01:09PM

 

Jason Gregor texted me to say "I have baby business to attend to on Saturday. Gregor 2,0 is only weeks away. I will need you to write the GDB for the Red Wings game." "Me?" we replied "last time I wrote a GDB people said it was silly and cried for you to write every one until 2099."

Well one doesn't argue with Jason Gregor if one hopes to be alive for the next Oilers win. So here goes nothing.

AND SO IT CONTINUES

How many ways are there to say that the Oilers rebuild is taking longer than it took to rebuild Europe after WWII?  At some point we start to scramble for new acronyms making a chase for last place an exciting proposition.

After the pantsing the Leafs gave the Oil on Tuesday - in front of LeafsNation Steve Dangle who had flown in for the match no less - it is hard to make bold predictions of Oilers wins. We sat there at Rexall Place, next to the King of all Maple Leafs fans watching them cheer and smile and raise their fists in triumph. We want that so badly for all our fellow Oilers fans it hurts.

Yes, if you told us "Wanye, all you have to do is get hit by a car and the Oil will turn around quick as a flash" we would run screaming from Wanye Manor and get hit square by the first motorcar we happened to see. Sadly it ain't that easy. But there are still things we can do as Oilers fans to try and turn the ship around.

In fact we have an idea.

AN IDEA

We hockey fans are a superstitious lot. Lucky underwear, lucky beer brand, lucky type of fur coat deodorizer. Cheering from the same seat on the couch. We all have some little foible we cling to in the hopes it makes our beloved Oilers win. Well Nation whatever we are doing is wrong.

We need to collectively reboot our lucky charms and send a wave of new karma out into the universe. Rather than focusing on what we don't want - more losses, more injuries, more Grebeshkovs in the lineup - we need to take new actions focused on what we want.

Wins.

Pictured at the top of the article is our most prized possession - our Eberle jersey purchased minutes after 14 scored his mind shattering first goal in the NHL. Thinking it was lucky we haven't so much as cleaned it once in the 4 years since. At the quarter pole of his 5th season it is clear the luck ain't working.

So we took the jersey to the cleaners on Thursday and got it back clean as clean can be. This was our major good luck charm these past 4 years and we wouldn't dream of doing this normally. But drastic times call for drastic measures. We invite you to reconsider whatever lucky charms you have and bring new ones out. The team needs it Nation. It's the only thing left we can think of doing.

Let us know if you think of anything you can do to reboot the franchise's luck. Burn your lucky drawers. Switch brands of game day beer. Remarry a new luckier wife if you think it will help. Just do something positive that is a break with the past.

We beg you.

LINEUP - GOOD

 

According to DailyFaceOff.com the Oilers are icing the forward corps above and the defensive pairings below. And according to the very same site Bachman will get the start in between the pipes tonight.

LINEUP - BAD

 

Forwards up, defense below and something called a Petr Mrazek will be tending for the Wings tonight. Poor bugger won't even have a chance. 

 

PREDICTIONS R US

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers win 4-2 shocking many including the Oilers themselves.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: During the second intermission Coack Babcock screams at Mrazek to step his game up to which the goalie tearfully replies "I don't even know who I am. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU START ME IN AN NHL GAME?"

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Hearing about the jersey cleaning Jordan Eberle pots a pair of goals. In the post game scrum he comments "I knew something was holding me back this year. Here all this time it was a ratty jersey covered in shots of Jack Daniels from the Pint. I wish Wanye had gotten his hygenic act together years ago."

Hearing my name mentioned by King Jordan I immediately transcend into a beam of pure joy and shoot into space.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#351 Sammer003
November 03 2013, 12:37PM
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Serious Gord wrote:

They now don't play a home game for eleven days. I bet they will be happy to get on the charter.

Schedule KLowe, MacT and Howeson on a private Sikorski Helicopter and have the pilot take the long way.

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#352 Rod from Viking
November 03 2013, 01:05PM
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@#ThereGoesTheOilers

I also feel sorry for the Eakins and the Mctavish family, I am however going to by my personal items from London Drugs, it is the more expensive brand name Viagra, no more erexall for this cowboy.

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#353 Harry
November 03 2013, 06:24PM
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Zarny wrote:

100% correct.

It's sad how many people wet their pants after one month.

Based on their career Octobers Iginla and Luongo wouldn't even be NHL players.

Its been 7 years numbnuts. Not one month.

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#354 rob
November 02 2013, 03:29PM
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Vancouver kills the leafs and the oilers destroy detroit!we can all have our own little dreams cant we?cant we....................

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#355 Brad
November 02 2013, 03:54PM
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@Lowetide

Does anyone know what the actual lines look like tonight? This game could get pretty lopsided!

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#356 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 03:57PM
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Notice that there is a physical presence on every Detroit line...

GDP - ugly. The score will flatter the oil.

5-4 Detroit.

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#357 Wax Man Riley
November 02 2013, 03:58PM
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DSF wrote:

Yakupov-Gagner-Hemsky

vs.

Datsyuk-Zetterberg-Bertuzzi

What could go wrong?

Choose one:

Eberle and a knee injury? Knees are the new shoulders, don't you know.

-OR-

Did anyone watch the leafs game? Ya... that again.

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#358 Poolanov
November 02 2013, 04:28PM
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RR and pepsi it is yum yum!!!!

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#359 justDOit
November 02 2013, 06:05PM
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@mrBacon

Flying shards of glass - exposed skin. At least cover up before you start hurling the tumblers!

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#360 Wonger Jr.
November 02 2013, 07:02PM
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The 90's were worse (Formerly Oilers need Ogie Oglethorpe) wrote:

So, do I leave the Gags jersey in the closet and wear the Gilbert instead?

What a great game Tor- Van! See what happens when you have 8 JERKS on your team to agitate and fight! Oil need to pick up Joey McDonald off of waivers tomorrow. Also, when the Canuckleheads put Alberts on waivers soon ( fought Big Mac to a draw a few years ago) pick him up! I don't care if he can't skate- we need way more TOUGH JERKS on this team! WE NEED SOME JERKS WHO CAN FIGHT MAC T!!!! DESPARATELY!!! TOOTOO, Engelland , Alberts, Ott, Folignom Zack Smith,etc. etc. etc.

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#361 Reggi
November 02 2013, 09:35PM
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Reggi wrote:

Fire Lowe , Bucky and Smith .

Now that is a good start for turning this team around.

Good try Kevin L giving me a trash.

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#362 Newj
November 03 2013, 07:46AM
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spliff wrote:

Which team will want Ebs, Nuge or Hall? All making 6 bills a year, and not showing they are worth that kind of coin.

The Oil have really painted themselves into a corner. I wonder how many interviews MacT had with Eakins before the was hired? Getting the right coach crucial, but from what I understand Eakins was hired after one interview. If that is the case, this is complete negligence by MacT. You'd think MacT would check out Eakins systems proposal and do a pros and cons analysis. It all smells like amateurville to me, but then why am I surprised. The management of this team has been amateurish for 20 years know.

Like many poster here, I am a lifelong diehard fan, and I keep hanging in there, checking the scores and trying to be hopeful, but last night's game was a real turn-off. I am getting closer and closer to apathy. The goal for an NHL team is to win the Cup, and Step One is making the playoffs. We are so far away from Step One, and have been for too long that whats the point in cheering for this team. What is the f*cking point in cheering for a team, whose management is so mediocre, that they can't get their team even close to the playoffs, in a league where 16/30 teams make the playoffs?

You could be right about that-6M/season may be difficult to offload.

There may be others, but after enduring decades of futility, I began to once again follow my childhood team (Oilers) after they acquired Ebs, Hall & RNH. I wanted to see those kids excel alongside the Oilers to becoming a proud franchise again.

Lately I have been thinking if they trade one of those 3...I'll probably go back into hiding once again.

I think either of those 3 are worth their contract, however, on this team they for whatever reason are currently not meeting expectations.

One of the 3 may go sooner than expected. For me that will be a big disappointment. I will become a Tier 3 fan.

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#363 Marty
November 03 2013, 09:09AM
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@Rod from Viking

Wrong. Katz likes money. Stop giving him your money and maybe they will need to realize that fans are customers. Buying tickets and not using them is stupid. Stop buying tickets. Take your tickets and show up with a paper bag head, or a sign that says "I now cheer for the Leafs/Flames/Anybody else".

Coming from a tier-2 fan who hasn't spent a dime on Oilers anything since before the lockout. Take my opinion for what it's worth.

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#364 Serious Gord
November 03 2013, 10:13AM
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michael wrote:

Suck it up you bunch of fair weather pansies. What did you expect coming out of the gate this season? 10-0 ,20-0.

I expected just what I am seeing. I thought we would get 8 points in October. We got 8 points.

There was o way in my mind that we were going to any better. No RNH.NO Gagner.New systems. New coaches. New coaches. The chemistry for this team was and is so messed up its not even funny.

Who expected to win last night give your head a shake.

A veteran team that plays a system that they have had for years under a coach they have had for years with a group of players that have played together for years. Yup we should have beaten that team.

Reality check over. Now that you've all been put in your right frame of mind I'll tell you what else I believe.

I believe that this team will not make the playoffs. Given what we know about the analytics that was easy to say. The harder thing to say is that I believe that Dallas Eakins will turn this team around by the Olympic break. Till then it will not be pretty. At all. Put your fire Klowes,trade Yakupov, and all your other fear driven ideas to rest and for the next little while watch this team learn and grow. It'll like watching a two year old toddler. It won't be pretty but eventually the toddler learns.

"Fair weather" eh? The fans reading and posting on this site have been enduring hurricane conditions for seven plus years now.

The status quo in management has failed now for seven plus years. Time to change the status quo.

As for Eakins, he should have been made assistant on some other - more established team before moving up to head coach.

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#365 Quicksilver ballet
November 03 2013, 03:27PM
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@DSF

CAR puts Brett Sutter on waivers.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's a kid we could sure use. Wonder what happened to that kid. Check that, didn't he get moved to Pittsburgh in that Jordan Stall deal.

Are we talking about the same Sutter kid?

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#366 Quicksilver ballet
November 03 2013, 03:30PM
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Zarny wrote:

And you deduce all this after 15 games lol.

Those 15 games will appear very important when the Oilers run out of runway (games) in April.

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#367 Johe
November 02 2013, 04:15PM
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Brad wrote:

Does anyone know what the actual lines look like tonight? This game could get pretty lopsided!

Jones RNH Ebs

Yak Gags Hemmer

Hamilton Gordon Arco

Eager Acton Gazdic

Smid Petry

Ference Elder Schultz

Belov Larsen

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#368 R-Dawg
November 02 2013, 04:24PM
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WheresYourTowel wrote:

To: Roughly 60% of the commenters

Is there a bus full of people that will die if you let Oilers fans have a shred of hope?

If so, great work.

It doesn't take a genius to predict the failure of a struggling team decimated by injuries. Don't feel too proud of yourselves.

Speaking of "fur coat deodorizers"!! here's Wheres your towel to spread the cheer!

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#369 The Real Gongshow
November 02 2013, 05:40PM
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Does that mean I should keep the Oil locked in the closet and wear Wings jersey tonight ? Datsyuk anyone ?!?

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#370 @Oilanderp
November 02 2013, 06:25PM
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Gordie Wayne wrote:

Wanye: I was filling with gas when the nozzle clicked off and I thought of you when I saw the resulting numbers. Maybe this is a sign??? Eberle and Yakupov to light it up tonight??? See the picture at the link below:


Eberle-Yakupov-Perfect-Fill

I was amused how your fuel may contain up to 10% ET! Do you drive a space-ship?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyFijjikkeM

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#371 justDOit
November 02 2013, 07:01PM
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I hope the Oilers don't go down tonight!

http://www.red-wings.com/images/RedWings.gif

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#372 beloch
November 02 2013, 07:45PM
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The Wings played one solid period last night, but were otherwise pretty soft. They did, however, know how to take advantage of crap goal-tending. If Edmonton has a little net-luck for a change the Wings are definitely beatable.

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#373 I tried it at home
November 02 2013, 08:17PM
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Im the spirit of shaking it up and trying out some new pregame rituals, I have passed on Captain Morgans and switched over to Sailor Jerrys spiced rum. Anything to help the cause. GOILERS!!

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#374 outdoorzguy
November 02 2013, 08:39PM
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@@Oilanderp

I'm switching to the Food Channel. I'll learn more and have more fun. Have fun you Oiler losers. You think a new arena will solve our crappy team? Good luck. This a Crappy team. WE ARE JUNIOR A. This is an even crappier organization!!!I. I'm out, got more pressing personal things to take care of before I give anything else to this Loser Lowe, drunk driver McTavish murderer leadership group!

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#375 jbogus
November 02 2013, 10:32PM
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Well, my wife and I have made a pact this season for every time the Oilers lose ....you know.

Now don't get me wrong I love my wife and hockey but you know what they just stink.

So for what it's worth (if you love your wife and hot like mine) then I can just remain a fan.

Stink, no effort, no ticker, no (______insert here).

Anyhow better get the wife ready - buy guys.

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#376 Smokey
November 02 2013, 11:44PM
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rectal place wrote:

Grapefruit and losing would be the words you were looking for.

Thanx Anil boy. Its Tayler Hall fault I ain't spel to gud to.

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#377 bwar
November 03 2013, 02:22AM
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bwar wrote:

Wayne can you please write every GDB? This made my day.
I think Gregor has been the Oilers unlucky charm. 5-0 Oil. Eberle gets all five and Wayne wins $1,000,000 via Safeway Score and Win. Which he immediately invests the winnings in dry cleaning gift cards to ensure his jersey is never dirty again.

Guess I kind of had that score backwards.

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#378 Rod from Viking
November 03 2013, 09:45AM
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camdog wrote:

Just curious what Kevin Lowe said to season ticket holders when he promised the "rebuild"? Curious how he was promising/selling the "rebuild" when he wasn't even the teams GM?

I don't remember, it was either the Oiler kool aid or the yearly coaching turnstyle and new first round pick. They have made bold(I mean bone head) moves every year and besides that you put a deposit or have to pay for your tickets a long time before you know what kind of changes for the next season, plus Oiler's now gets me pumped up to renew. "I need professional help!"

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#379 Rama Lama
November 03 2013, 12:14PM
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I believe that the coach has been tuned out by the players. It's hard to come to the realization by Mac T that this coach is ' done like dinner"!

Yes he was a good coach for opposition players like Lars Eller.......man did he teach him something. The problem is he never taught our players anything, except not to eat donuts.

HIs systems and philosophies were never embraced by any team members except Andrew Ference. His line combinations were idiotic. His line match-ups even worse. He made the PP a joke. He made the PK a joke. He regularly told his players it was all their fault by not working hard enough.

By any measure it's patently obvious that the players stopped playing for him.

If I were Katz I would ask one question.........if the Oilers were Rexall Drugs, would he put up with this?

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#380 Seriously
November 03 2013, 12:28PM
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michael wrote:

Suck it up you bunch of fair weather pansies. What did you expect coming out of the gate this season? 10-0 ,20-0.

I expected just what I am seeing. I thought we would get 8 points in October. We got 8 points.

There was o way in my mind that we were going to any better. No RNH.NO Gagner.New systems. New coaches. New coaches. The chemistry for this team was and is so messed up its not even funny.

Who expected to win last night give your head a shake.

A veteran team that plays a system that they have had for years under a coach they have had for years with a group of players that have played together for years. Yup we should have beaten that team.

Reality check over. Now that you've all been put in your right frame of mind I'll tell you what else I believe.

I believe that this team will not make the playoffs. Given what we know about the analytics that was easy to say. The harder thing to say is that I believe that Dallas Eakins will turn this team around by the Olympic break. Till then it will not be pretty. At all. Put your fire Klowes,trade Yakupov, and all your other fear driven ideas to rest and for the next little while watch this team learn and grow. It'll like watching a two year old toddler. It won't be pretty but eventually the toddler learns.

What kinda oh $hit are you smoking?!? I want some of that!!!' If this is what your expecting from these hockey players, that are making that kind of money for 8 points???? And showing that kind of effort!!!!! Give your head a shake!!! Oh and thanks a lot Captin obvious!! "I believe the team will not make the playoffs." NO $HIT..

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#381 Jason Gregor
November 03 2013, 01:39PM
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Sean17 wrote:

Is this a record for most posted comments on Oilersnation???

Not even close actually...we've had 1000 comments in an article before.

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#382 Zarny
November 03 2013, 02:25PM
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Zamboni Driver wrote:

Oh another person smarter than all the rest of us.

Good.

you let us know when it's okay to be concerned.

3 wins in 15 games is not a problem then. Second last in the NHL is a-okay. WHEW. Here I thought the point was to, you know, WIN a few more.

In fact the point is.........well actually I don't know.

Nope, not smarter than the rest. But smart enough to know you don't panic in a crisis. No matter how big your problem is, you can always make it worse.

3 wins in 15 games is certainly a problem. It's just not that surprising. The Oilers were destined for a slow start. 7 wins by now was probably best case scenario.

So this season isn't best case. You don't wet your pants.

The criticism of the team's play is accurate; but what did you expect from a group of 19-21 y/o supported by the deepest 5-7 D in the league and a G who might be good enough to make the playoffs?

That's where this team is at. 1st overall picks don't come with magical pixie dust from a land of unicorns and rainbows. They still take years to fully develop. And you need depth to win.

Eakins isn't the problem anymore than Oates was last year in Wsh. Ovechkin sh*t the bed the first 20 games of last year too. His approach is the right one.

Let me grab my shocked face 19-21 y/o kids who average 122 NHL games make mistakes learning a new system against the best players in the game.

Bold Moves™ are required. Knew that before the season started. Nothing has changed. Those moves aren't usually available 15 games into a season. And you don't pull a Mike Milbury to salvage 10th place.

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#383 Zarny
November 03 2013, 02:28PM
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Rama Lama wrote:

I believe that the coach has been tuned out by the players. It's hard to come to the realization by Mac T that this coach is ' done like dinner"!

Yes he was a good coach for opposition players like Lars Eller.......man did he teach him something. The problem is he never taught our players anything, except not to eat donuts.

HIs systems and philosophies were never embraced by any team members except Andrew Ference. His line combinations were idiotic. His line match-ups even worse. He made the PP a joke. He made the PK a joke. He regularly told his players it was all their fault by not working hard enough.

By any measure it's patently obvious that the players stopped playing for him.

If I were Katz I would ask one question.........if the Oilers were Rexall Drugs, would he put up with this?

And you deduce all this after 15 games lol.

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#384 Rama Lama
November 03 2013, 04:31PM
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Zarny wrote:

And you deduce all this after 15 games lol.

In one word YES!

Would you rather replace one coach or start trading the entire team...........good decision genius!

I like Dallas Eakins and his style, swagger.......call it what you will..........but when the team regresses in every department someone has to go. We all know that KLowe is not going nowhere, either is his best friends Buchy and Smith, so that only leaves DE.

I for one refuse to believe that every player all of a sudden lost their skill, will, and desire to play hockey. Most of the players trained off-season harder than they ever did in their careers, so it can't be that they are not in shape. Yes injuries and goaltending have played a huge role........but every team outside of Colorado has suffered from this.

When I see players who do not know whom to cover after 15 games, missed assignments, bad line changes, no puck support, no shots on net, and no ability to make a pass stick..........I'm thinking it's a bad system.

When players stop playing, it's usually due to coaching. DE is a good man but he is NOT succeeding. Time for a complete change.........all coaching staff must go! Bring in Brent Sutter while we still can.

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#385 Quicksilver ballet
November 03 2013, 07:58PM
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@Rod from Viking

My bad, big difference between the two. Thanks for clarifying that Rod.

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#386 justDOit
November 02 2013, 06:02PM
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@Dog Train

What region are you in?

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#387 dawgtoy
November 02 2013, 07:00PM
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Darrell wrote:

"Their" not "there" for Christ sakes get educated ! * trying getting mad a dumb mistakes before the game for my game day change ..

FAIL!

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#388 Butters
November 02 2013, 08:04PM
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My pre-game ritual consists of reading GDBs...ooops

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#389 camdog
November 03 2013, 09:36AM
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@Rod from Viking

Just curious what Kevin Lowe said to season ticket holders when he promised the "rebuild"? Curious how he was promising/selling the "rebuild" when he wasn't even the teams GM?

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#390 The Real Scuba Steve
November 03 2013, 10:07AM
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morgie wrote:

And the best part is we are building a Taj Mahal mostly on tax payor money, handing over all building profits, merely for rent, subsidized for the first 10 years no less, for the privilege of doing this, we get to pay more for concerts etc

Yeehaw good times!

On second thought, it's not all that bad because if winning is ever a concern, we have the assurance from Kevin Lowe he can change that LMAO

Katz will not stand for this when the new is arena is built. This is his legacy, his ego, having a team playing this bad in a new arena with all eyes watching him in the hockey world no old boys on the bus jobs will be safe. I just hope none of our young guns demand trades before then.

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#391 Marty
November 03 2013, 10:08AM
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@Rod from Viking

Very true - I'm not affluent enough to be able to afford these oh-so-valuable tickets. Basically a former die-hard fan who now is just apathetic (and I realize the irony of that statement by posting here). All I am trying to say is that they only way for Katz to sit up and take notice is if this somehow starts affecting his bottom line. For every fan who says they won't renew their season tickets, there are five more lined up to snap them up. That's the problem - they have it in Toronto and we have it here. We have to remember that we are customers (buying beer at the sports bars, hats, jerseys, other Oilers labelled crap, etc) and that if we're not happy with the product, don't pay your money. If you've already wasted money on season tix this year then you need to do whatever you think you need to do in order to send a message. I personally don't think that having empty seats that are paid for is the way to send that message but that's just my opinion.

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#392 MICHAEL
November 03 2013, 04:13PM
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Zamboni Driver wrote:

WOW!

You picked the number of points EXACTLY?

What are the chances?

You're a genius!

And in your professional, way smarter and more level-headed than everyone else, opinion...the Oilers will "not make the playoffs". I'm glad you clarified. I will cancel the appointment with my bookie in Vegas.

lOOK BACK AND YOU'LL SEE I DID INDEED POST BEFORE THE SEASON STARTED THAT THE OILERS WOULD GET 8 POINTS THIS MONTH.

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#393 Lars Eller
November 03 2013, 04:15PM
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BOOM!!! Now people, are we actually on the same page here???

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#394 Rod from Viking
November 03 2013, 06:44PM
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Quicksilver ballet wrote:

CAR puts Brett Sutter on waivers.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's a kid we could sure use. Wonder what happened to that kid. Check that, didn't he get moved to Pittsburgh in that Jordan Stall deal.

Are we talking about the same Sutter kid?

No this is Darryl's son, he has spent most of his career in the minors, the one you are thinking of is Brandon and yes he would be a great fit on this team.

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