GDB 15.0: RED WINGS

Wanye
November 02 2013 01:09PM

 

Jason Gregor texted me to say "I have baby business to attend to on Saturday. Gregor 2,0 is only weeks away. I will need you to write the GDB for the Red Wings game." "Me?" we replied "last time I wrote a GDB people said it was silly and cried for you to write every one until 2099."

Well one doesn't argue with Jason Gregor if one hopes to be alive for the next Oilers win. So here goes nothing.

AND SO IT CONTINUES

How many ways are there to say that the Oilers rebuild is taking longer than it took to rebuild Europe after WWII?  At some point we start to scramble for new acronyms making a chase for last place an exciting proposition.

After the pantsing the Leafs gave the Oil on Tuesday - in front of LeafsNation Steve Dangle who had flown in for the match no less - it is hard to make bold predictions of Oilers wins. We sat there at Rexall Place, next to the King of all Maple Leafs fans watching them cheer and smile and raise their fists in triumph. We want that so badly for all our fellow Oilers fans it hurts.

Yes, if you told us "Wanye, all you have to do is get hit by a car and the Oil will turn around quick as a flash" we would run screaming from Wanye Manor and get hit square by the first motorcar we happened to see. Sadly it ain't that easy. But there are still things we can do as Oilers fans to try and turn the ship around.

In fact we have an idea.

AN IDEA

We hockey fans are a superstitious lot. Lucky underwear, lucky beer brand, lucky type of fur coat deodorizer. Cheering from the same seat on the couch. We all have some little foible we cling to in the hopes it makes our beloved Oilers win. Well Nation whatever we are doing is wrong.

We need to collectively reboot our lucky charms and send a wave of new karma out into the universe. Rather than focusing on what we don't want - more losses, more injuries, more Grebeshkovs in the lineup - we need to take new actions focused on what we want.

Wins.

Pictured at the top of the article is our most prized possession - our Eberle jersey purchased minutes after 14 scored his mind shattering first goal in the NHL. Thinking it was lucky we haven't so much as cleaned it once in the 4 years since. At the quarter pole of his 5th season it is clear the luck ain't working.

So we took the jersey to the cleaners on Thursday and got it back clean as clean can be. This was our major good luck charm these past 4 years and we wouldn't dream of doing this normally. But drastic times call for drastic measures. We invite you to reconsider whatever lucky charms you have and bring new ones out. The team needs it Nation. It's the only thing left we can think of doing.

Let us know if you think of anything you can do to reboot the franchise's luck. Burn your lucky drawers. Switch brands of game day beer. Remarry a new luckier wife if you think it will help. Just do something positive that is a break with the past.

We beg you.

LINEUP - GOOD

 

According to DailyFaceOff.com the Oilers are icing the forward corps above and the defensive pairings below. And according to the very same site Bachman will get the start in between the pipes tonight.

LINEUP - BAD

 

Forwards up, defense below and something called a Petr Mrazek will be tending for the Wings tonight. Poor bugger won't even have a chance. 

 

PREDICTIONS R US

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers win 4-2 shocking many including the Oilers themselves.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: During the second intermission Coack Babcock screams at Mrazek to step his game up to which the goalie tearfully replies "I don't even know who I am. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU START ME IN AN NHL GAME?"

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Hearing about the jersey cleaning Jordan Eberle pots a pair of goals. In the post game scrum he comments "I knew something was holding me back this year. Here all this time it was a ratty jersey covered in shots of Jack Daniels from the Pint. I wish Wanye had gotten his hygenic act together years ago."

Hearing my name mentioned by King Jordan I immediately transcend into a beam of pure joy and shoot into space.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 FIREEAKINS
November 02 2013, 11:19PM
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Why is everyone ripping on Hall? He's not even playing. Hall is one of the only ones on this team that plays with heart. Taylor Hall is not the problem. He's far from it. If you can't see that than sorry, but you are an idiot.

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#2 quinn the eskimo
November 02 2013, 10:59PM
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Fresh Mess wrote:

Now Belov taken out by his own team mate. There goes their best D man. Keystone cops. Pure comedy.

Belov sucks. Slow as sh!t through a frozen turkey and dumb. Good effin riddance. Petry was abysmal in the 1st. I feel like puking, and it ain't the whisky or the sight of myself in tight whiteys (bad enough). It's this team. I no longer have belief when before I had. I feel sick.

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#3 Smokey
November 02 2013, 11:33PM
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Its Taylor Hall's fault the sky is falling cause he's texting on the phone and eating a hotdog. Why the hell is he eating hotdogs anyways. Its all his damn fault. If he really cared about us Oilers fans he'd be eating ricecakes and greatfruits while riding the exercise bike on the highest resistance at full tilt. Its all his damn fault we are loosing...Trade him for the rights to Peter Ing and Jim Korn and Mike Palmateer.

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#4 Zarny
November 03 2013, 01:06AM
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I'm sorry but the panic is funny.

The team is struggling and the solution is to get rid of a guy who hasn't played since '98?

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#5 michael
November 03 2013, 09:49AM
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Suck it up you bunch of fair weather pansies. What did you expect coming out of the gate this season? 10-0 ,20-0.

I expected just what I am seeing. I thought we would get 8 points in October. We got 8 points.

There was o way in my mind that we were going to any better. No RNH.NO Gagner.New systems. New coaches. New coaches. The chemistry for this team was and is so messed up its not even funny.

Who expected to win last night give your head a shake.

A veteran team that plays a system that they have had for years under a coach they have had for years with a group of players that have played together for years. Yup we should have beaten that team.

Reality check over. Now that you've all been put in your right frame of mind I'll tell you what else I believe.

I believe that this team will not make the playoffs. Given what we know about the analytics that was easy to say. The harder thing to say is that I believe that Dallas Eakins will turn this team around by the Olympic break. Till then it will not be pretty. At all. Put your fire Klowes,trade Yakupov, and all your other fear driven ideas to rest and for the next little while watch this team learn and grow. It'll like watching a two year old toddler. It won't be pretty but eventually the toddler learns.

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#6 DSF
November 02 2013, 02:12PM
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Yakupov-Gagner-Hemsky

vs.

Datsyuk-Zetterberg-Bertuzzi

What could go wrong?

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#7 Smokey
November 02 2013, 11:44PM
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rectal place wrote:

Grapefruit and losing would be the words you were looking for.

Thanx Anil boy. Its Tayler Hall fault I ain't spel to gud to.

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#8 Zarny
November 03 2013, 10:30AM
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michael wrote:

Suck it up you bunch of fair weather pansies. What did you expect coming out of the gate this season? 10-0 ,20-0.

I expected just what I am seeing. I thought we would get 8 points in October. We got 8 points.

There was o way in my mind that we were going to any better. No RNH.NO Gagner.New systems. New coaches. New coaches. The chemistry for this team was and is so messed up its not even funny.

Who expected to win last night give your head a shake.

A veteran team that plays a system that they have had for years under a coach they have had for years with a group of players that have played together for years. Yup we should have beaten that team.

Reality check over. Now that you've all been put in your right frame of mind I'll tell you what else I believe.

I believe that this team will not make the playoffs. Given what we know about the analytics that was easy to say. The harder thing to say is that I believe that Dallas Eakins will turn this team around by the Olympic break. Till then it will not be pretty. At all. Put your fire Klowes,trade Yakupov, and all your other fear driven ideas to rest and for the next little while watch this team learn and grow. It'll like watching a two year old toddler. It won't be pretty but eventually the toddler learns.

100% correct.

It's sad how many people wet their pants after one month.

Based on their career Octobers Iginla and Luongo wouldn't even be NHL players.

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#9 DSF
November 02 2013, 11:25PM
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Eakins is done.

Just a matter of time.

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#10 FireKLowe
November 02 2013, 10:55PM
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Lowe must have some incriminating evidence on Katz such as Katz sucking Lowe's cock or something during the glory years to explain why Lowe still has a fcuking job with the Oilers!!!

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#11 FIREEAKINS
November 03 2013, 12:28AM
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Now that Horcoff is gone people have to find a new player to blame. What I don't understand is the player you people pick to blame. Taylor Hall is the best player on this team. He plays hard and with his heart. Idiots. Dallas Eakins is problem #1, his "systems" are f u c k i n g terrible. All the other NHL proven coaches must laugh at this goon.

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#12 OilersSuck
November 02 2013, 08:42PM
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youguysarehotgarbage wrote:

As a flames fan, i am wanting to see wins from you guys.

Do you realize how bad you need to be for this to happen,Detroit of a back to back and your supposed to be young fit team andthey jump on guys... wow

eakins might want mix some hockey stuff with strength and conditioning program

f**k off flamer. get off our oilers site. flamers deserve to die

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#13 Loweblows
November 03 2013, 08:20AM
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Their once was a team called the oilers, They worked hard and were toilers, KLowe he can win, But now winnings a sin, Now the team are porcelain coilers.

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#14 Walter White
November 02 2013, 01:15PM
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fist and formost Wayne - I thik you GDB zre awesome

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#15 TayLordBalls
November 02 2013, 04:27PM
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Wayne is a pessimist!

In October of 1983, Edmonton elected Laurence Decore as our new mayor. The Oilers went on to win the cup in following spring.

Fast forward

2013, Almost exactly 30 years to the day - Edmonton elects a new mayor.

I think this team is no way near a peak and is loaded for bear with talent.

Although it has been a poor start - that's expected for a new coach, new system and new players.

2014 - Edmonton wins a cup!

GO OIL

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#16 jbogus
November 02 2013, 10:32PM
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Well, my wife and I have made a pact this season for every time the Oilers lose ....you know.

Now don't get me wrong I love my wife and hockey but you know what they just stink.

So for what it's worth (if you love your wife and hot like mine) then I can just remain a fan.

Stink, no effort, no ticker, no (______insert here).

Anyhow better get the wife ready - buy guys.

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#17 rob
November 03 2013, 08:18AM
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I hope they trade Hall to boston so i can make my second favorite team my first favorite team and forget the oil!the only reason I watch is for Hall,hes the only one that plays like he gives a kcuf!

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#18 EP
November 02 2013, 08:45PM
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Joey MacDonald is on waivers- pick him up.

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#19 Taylor the Texter
November 02 2013, 10:23PM
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Nice shot on HNIC of Hall texting on his cell in the press box OBLIVIOUS and visibly UNCONCERNED about the fate of his team. He is probably setting up Piggy Back Rides at the Cactus Club after the game to help rehab his ailing knee! He and his f$&;zing ego should be the first Oiler out of town. Coach killing aholes!

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#20 Greg the Hammer Valentine
November 02 2013, 10:35PM
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MacT has to act like a man and admit the Eakins hiring was a mistake. Apologize to Kruger for firing him by skype. Go back behind the bench 'till the end of the season and then fire the whole coaching staff. After that, make a real coach-searching process.

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#21 Rob Gilgan
November 02 2013, 10:31PM
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Alsker wrote:

Sounds like I should be glad I had family sh^t to do tonite and haven't heard/seen anything of the game. Is it too late to ask if ANY Oiler actually showed they cared tonite.

LaBarbara has been decent.

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#22 WheresYourTowel
November 02 2013, 04:13PM
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To: Roughly 60% of the commenters

Is there a bus full of people that will die if you let Oilers fans have a shred of hope?

If so, great work.

It doesn't take a genius to predict the failure of a struggling team decimated by injuries. Don't feel too proud of yourselves.

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#23 youguysarehotgarbage
November 02 2013, 08:54PM
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@OilersSuck

hahahaha...eat it oiler douche, tell me how good you'll be next year

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#24 Johe
November 02 2013, 01:17PM
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Those lineups are slightly out of date.

WE WANT GREGOR BACK!!!

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#25 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 09:59PM
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Eakins has clearly lost the room. Time to remove him.

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#26 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 11:08PM
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I give full credit to Ference for facing the HNIC panel after that debacle. Doesn't he know he will be late to the nightclub? Taylor Hall's sloppy seconds for the captain.

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#27 Serious Gord
November 03 2013, 01:15AM
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Zarny wrote:

I'm sorry but the panic is funny.

The team is struggling and the solution is to get rid of a guy who hasn't played since '98?

Firing Lowe will be the beginning of the road back to respectability and then winning and then the playoffs and then the cup.

A message has to be sent.

No more cronies

No more old boys

No more pals of the owner running the team.

The buck stops at Lowe and what happened tonight was a fireable offense.

Meanwhile Eakins is on the bubble. Either the team gets playing as a team and the on ice discipline tightens up and the effort - the effort Eakins promised would be second to none - is there, he will not coach another home game if MacT has the sense that he didn't have when he made the rash (bold?) move of hiring him.

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#28 GK1980
November 03 2013, 07:47AM
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The Oilers have become the nerd of the NHL. It's the kid on the playground nobody hangs out with and if a fist a cuffs occurs you want to make sure you DON'T lose to the nerd because 28 of your other buddies are standing around watching you. The Florida / Edmonton game should be fun, watching these two teams slap each other around and pull each others hair. Two of the NHL's nerds going at it while the 28 other teams stand around and laugh. Jebus!

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#29 MattL
November 03 2013, 10:09AM
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What exactly is firing KLowe going to fix about this team today? Do you mean you want a new GM? Do you want a better coach? Different players? Who do you suggest as replacements? Because if you fire KLowe, one or more of those things is probably going to happen too.

Or do you just want to see someone punished for hurting your poor hockey feelings?

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#30 Loweblows
November 02 2013, 08:51PM
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youguysarehotgarbage wrote:

As a flames fan, i am wanting to see wins from you guys.

Do you realize how bad you need to be for this to happen,Detroit of a back to back and your supposed to be young fit team andthey jump on guys... wow

eakins might want mix some hockey stuff with strength and conditioning program

F off we dont need your pity.

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#31 Newj
November 03 2013, 07:46AM
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spliff wrote:

Which team will want Ebs, Nuge or Hall? All making 6 bills a year, and not showing they are worth that kind of coin.

The Oil have really painted themselves into a corner. I wonder how many interviews MacT had with Eakins before the was hired? Getting the right coach crucial, but from what I understand Eakins was hired after one interview. If that is the case, this is complete negligence by MacT. You'd think MacT would check out Eakins systems proposal and do a pros and cons analysis. It all smells like amateurville to me, but then why am I surprised. The management of this team has been amateurish for 20 years know.

Like many poster here, I am a lifelong diehard fan, and I keep hanging in there, checking the scores and trying to be hopeful, but last night's game was a real turn-off. I am getting closer and closer to apathy. The goal for an NHL team is to win the Cup, and Step One is making the playoffs. We are so far away from Step One, and have been for too long that whats the point in cheering for this team. What is the f*cking point in cheering for a team, whose management is so mediocre, that they can't get their team even close to the playoffs, in a league where 16/30 teams make the playoffs?

You could be right about that-6M/season may be difficult to offload.

There may be others, but after enduring decades of futility, I began to once again follow my childhood team (Oilers) after they acquired Ebs, Hall & RNH. I wanted to see those kids excel alongside the Oilers to becoming a proud franchise again.

Lately I have been thinking if they trade one of those 3...I'll probably go back into hiding once again.

I think either of those 3 are worth their contract, however, on this team they for whatever reason are currently not meeting expectations.

One of the 3 may go sooner than expected. For me that will be a big disappointment. I will become a Tier 3 fan.

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#33 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 03:28PM
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Lowetide wrote:

I've changed from drining Crown Royal with Coke to trying coke with Crown Royal. Here's hoping!

Crown Royal is plonk. It has long been downgraded by its maker using among other things corn syrup as a sugar source. Sweet, bland and devoid of depth.

May I recommend one of the worlds great whiskeys:

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alberta_Premium

A true rye whiskey it is fantastic, cheap and made right here in Alberta.

It's more Mature brother is also one of my favorites - not as BOLD, but wonderfully smooth:

http://www.canadianwhisky.org/reviews/alberta-springs-aged-10-years-40-alc-vol.html

Cheers

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#34 Albert
November 02 2013, 08:52PM
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Hey, was I napping? When did Mactavish sign the Nuge's twin sister. He did she manage to wear #94 too?

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#35 Ryan
November 02 2013, 08:54PM
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Oilers look pretty good for a Junior team

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#36 .??? IRON
November 02 2013, 10:03PM
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Serious Gord wrote:

Eakins has clearly lost the room. Time to remove him.

Bring in IRON MIKE KEENAN and give him free reign to blow up this MESS and rebuild it!

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#37 madjam
November 02 2013, 04:30PM
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The snow will scare Detroit , and Oilers will pounce on a old tired club like the Red Wings . Oilers chase goalie after first period bombardment and coast to an easy 10-0 victory . Oh the turnaround is so delightful , but isn't it quite frightful - let it snow , let it snow , let it snow . A couple more hot toddies should do .

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#38 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 09:59PM
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Eakins has clearly lost the room. Time to remove him.

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#39 Jerry
November 02 2013, 10:48PM
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Kevin Lowe Now I want you to take a step back... and literally f your own face!

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#40 rectal place
November 02 2013, 11:40PM
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Smokey wrote:

Its Taylor Hall's fault the sky is falling cause he's texting on the phone and eating a hotdog. Why the hell is he eating hotdogs anyways. Its all his damn fault. If he really cared about us Oilers fans he'd be eating ricecakes and greatfruits while riding the exercise bike on the highest resistance at full tilt. Its all his damn fault we are loosing...Trade him for the rights to Peter Ing and Jim Korn and Mike Palmateer.

Grapefruit and losing would be the words you were looking for.

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#41 Smokey
November 03 2013, 12:36AM
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After the second goal, I told my wife the games over. She looked puzzled thinking your sure given up easy. I told there is no fight left. You gotta change the culture of losing from the top down. Its the only answer.

I said I hope this team looses 9-0 because maybe there might be enough outcry to get rid of Lowe and MacT.

The reason there is not 500 posts is fans are starting to stop caring. There should be at least that many post calling for Lowe's head.

If they fire Lowe tonight, I'll buy tickets tomorrow. I'm not supporting this culture of losing this year. Maybe if we had 500 posts saying the same thing maybe we'd get somewhere.

Dump Lowe, reassign MacT, send Eakins to OKC. Bring in Nelson to develop these kids. Hell I'd even sign Sutter, cough cough, to coach this team to play better defensively and teach these kids to play proper systematic hockey. If you don't salvage what's left of this year, next year will be the same.

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#42 hemi
November 03 2013, 08:19AM
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@pelhem grenville

For the love of all things essential to being a well balance person, do not become a leaf fan!

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#43 rob
November 03 2013, 10:37AM
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Hire Gordon Ramsey as the coach,mabey he could motivate these guys!

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#44 Walter Sobchak
November 02 2013, 02:41PM
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DSF wrote:

Yakupov-Gagner-Hemsky

vs.

Datsyuk-Zetterberg-Bertuzzi

What could go wrong?

Didn't MC79 (Delow) do a thesis on how bad this line actually was?

The Oilers can’t help but re-invent there past mistakes!!

Bloody hell! Like, why fire Krueger then?

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#45 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 03:57PM
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Notice that there is a physical presence on every Detroit line...

GDP - ugly. The score will flatter the oil.

5-4 Detroit.

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#46 The Real Gongshow
November 02 2013, 05:40PM
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Does that mean I should keep the Oil locked in the closet and wear Wings jersey tonight ? Datsyuk anyone ?!?

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#47 Wonger Jr.
November 02 2013, 07:02PM
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Oilers need Ogie Ogilthorpe! wrote:

So, do I leave the Gags jersey in the closet and wear the Gilbert instead?

What a great game Tor- Van! See what happens when you have 8 JERKS on your team to agitate and fight! Oil need to pick up Joey McDonald off of waivers tomorrow. Also, when the Canuckleheads put Alberts on waivers soon ( fought Big Mac to a draw a few years ago) pick him up! I don't care if he can't skate- we need way more TOUGH JERKS on this team! WE NEED SOME JERKS WHO CAN FIGHT MAC T!!!! DESPARATELY!!! TOOTOO, Engelland , Alberts, Ott, Folignom Zack Smith,etc. etc. etc.

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#48 outdoorzguy
November 02 2013, 08:37PM
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I'm switching to the Food Channel. I'll learn more and have more fun. Have fun you Oiler losers. You think a new arena will solve our crappy team? Good luck. This a Crappy team. WE ARE JUNIOR A. This is an even crappier organization!!!I. I'm out, got more pressing personal things to take care of before I give anything else to this Loser Lowe, drunk driver McTavish murderer leadership group!

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#49 OilersSuck
November 02 2013, 08:49PM
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Why the f u c k is this building full every night? I wouldn't pay to watch this f u cking crap

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#50 FIREEAKINS
November 02 2013, 08:54PM
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Well i'm gonna go play some Battlefield 4, f u c k this horse $hit game and this horse $hit team. F u ck you Eakins! Fu ck you Lowe! Fu ck you lazy Oiler players!

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