GDB 15.0: RED WINGS

Wanye
November 02 2013 01:09PM

 

Jason Gregor texted me to say "I have baby business to attend to on Saturday. Gregor 2,0 is only weeks away. I will need you to write the GDB for the Red Wings game." "Me?" we replied "last time I wrote a GDB people said it was silly and cried for you to write every one until 2099."

Well one doesn't argue with Jason Gregor if one hopes to be alive for the next Oilers win. So here goes nothing.

AND SO IT CONTINUES

How many ways are there to say that the Oilers rebuild is taking longer than it took to rebuild Europe after WWII?  At some point we start to scramble for new acronyms making a chase for last place an exciting proposition.

After the pantsing the Leafs gave the Oil on Tuesday - in front of LeafsNation Steve Dangle who had flown in for the match no less - it is hard to make bold predictions of Oilers wins. We sat there at Rexall Place, next to the King of all Maple Leafs fans watching them cheer and smile and raise their fists in triumph. We want that so badly for all our fellow Oilers fans it hurts.

Yes, if you told us "Wanye, all you have to do is get hit by a car and the Oil will turn around quick as a flash" we would run screaming from Wanye Manor and get hit square by the first motorcar we happened to see. Sadly it ain't that easy. But there are still things we can do as Oilers fans to try and turn the ship around.

In fact we have an idea.

AN IDEA

We hockey fans are a superstitious lot. Lucky underwear, lucky beer brand, lucky type of fur coat deodorizer. Cheering from the same seat on the couch. We all have some little foible we cling to in the hopes it makes our beloved Oilers win. Well Nation whatever we are doing is wrong.

We need to collectively reboot our lucky charms and send a wave of new karma out into the universe. Rather than focusing on what we don't want - more losses, more injuries, more Grebeshkovs in the lineup - we need to take new actions focused on what we want.

Wins.

Pictured at the top of the article is our most prized possession - our Eberle jersey purchased minutes after 14 scored his mind shattering first goal in the NHL. Thinking it was lucky we haven't so much as cleaned it once in the 4 years since. At the quarter pole of his 5th season it is clear the luck ain't working.

So we took the jersey to the cleaners on Thursday and got it back clean as clean can be. This was our major good luck charm these past 4 years and we wouldn't dream of doing this normally. But drastic times call for drastic measures. We invite you to reconsider whatever lucky charms you have and bring new ones out. The team needs it Nation. It's the only thing left we can think of doing.

Let us know if you think of anything you can do to reboot the franchise's luck. Burn your lucky drawers. Switch brands of game day beer. Remarry a new luckier wife if you think it will help. Just do something positive that is a break with the past.

We beg you.

LINEUP - GOOD

 

According to DailyFaceOff.com the Oilers are icing the forward corps above and the defensive pairings below. And according to the very same site Bachman will get the start in between the pipes tonight.

LINEUP - BAD

 

Forwards up, defense below and something called a Petr Mrazek will be tending for the Wings tonight. Poor bugger won't even have a chance. 

 

PREDICTIONS R US

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers win 4-2 shocking many including the Oilers themselves.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: During the second intermission Coack Babcock screams at Mrazek to step his game up to which the goalie tearfully replies "I don't even know who I am. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU START ME IN AN NHL GAME?"

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Hearing about the jersey cleaning Jordan Eberle pots a pair of goals. In the post game scrum he comments "I knew something was holding me back this year. Here all this time it was a ratty jersey covered in shots of Jack Daniels from the Pint. I wish Wanye had gotten his hygenic act together years ago."

Hearing my name mentioned by King Jordan I immediately transcend into a beam of pure joy and shoot into space.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 oilredemption
November 02 2013, 09:08PM
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Reinharts are man, if he can't do it, no one can :D

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#52 Dallas Oilers
November 02 2013, 09:35PM
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Guys, what do you expect? You're putting junior players against an elite team...there aren't any quality veterans to shield your #1 overall picks. They will get manhandled until they reach their prime. Kane and Toews had Ladd, Byfuglien, Sopel, Keith, Seabrook, Bolland, to learn from. Crosby had quality veterans to grow under, albeit a very short time, because he's a generational talent. This isn't a balanced team. It's basically players that are just removed from junior hockey playing top line minutes against NHL players in their prime. You will get killed.

Eakins can do all the coaching he wants, but nothing will happen until the roster is fixed. They can have all the compete and hard work you want, but if you play a junior player against an NHL player in his prime, 10 times out of 10, the NHL player wins.

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#53 Doug Diggler
November 02 2013, 09:52PM
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Dallas Oilers wrote:

Guys, what do you expect? You're putting junior players against an elite team...there aren't any quality veterans to shield your #1 overall picks. They will get manhandled until they reach their prime. Kane and Toews had Ladd, Byfuglien, Sopel, Keith, Seabrook, Bolland, to learn from. Crosby had quality veterans to grow under, albeit a very short time, because he's a generational talent. This isn't a balanced team. It's basically players that are just removed from junior hockey playing top line minutes against NHL players in their prime. You will get killed.

Eakins can do all the coaching he wants, but nothing will happen until the roster is fixed. They can have all the compete and hard work you want, but if you play a junior player against an NHL player in his prime, 10 times out of 10, the NHL player wins.

I agree with what your saying here, but some of the players you used as examples were pretty poor. Bolland started same year as kane and toews. Byfuglien had played 30 something games before in the nhl. Even some of the other guys only had 1 or 2 seasons, so I don't see where the oilers have not had at least equal veterans to show the rookies coming in the proper way to play.

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#54 Harry
November 02 2013, 10:33PM
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Belov down....HELLO KLEFBOM!!

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#55 Alsker
November 02 2013, 10:36PM
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Rob Gilgan wrote:

LaBarbara has been decent.

Thought Bachman was starting? Oh, 5-0, I understand

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#56 StHenriOilBomb
November 02 2013, 01:23PM
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Perron? Really?... and Schultz?... At least get Gregor to help you with the lineups!

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#57 rob
November 02 2013, 03:29PM
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Vancouver kills the leafs and the oilers destroy detroit!we can all have our own little dreams cant we?cant we....................

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#58 Wax Man Riley
November 02 2013, 03:58PM
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DSF wrote:

Yakupov-Gagner-Hemsky

vs.

Datsyuk-Zetterberg-Bertuzzi

What could go wrong?

Choose one:

Eberle and a knee injury? Knees are the new shoulders, don't you know.

-OR-

Did anyone watch the leafs game? Ya... that again.

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#59 Darrell
November 02 2013, 06:33PM
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Walter Sobchak wrote:

Didn't MC79 (Delow) do a thesis on how bad this line actually was?

The Oilers can’t help but re-invent there past mistakes!!

Bloody hell! Like, why fire Krueger then?

"Their" not "there" for Christ sakes get educated ! * trying getting mad a dumb mistakes before the game for my game day change ..

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#60 dawgtoy
November 02 2013, 07:00PM
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Darrell wrote:

"Their" not "there" for Christ sakes get educated ! * trying getting mad a dumb mistakes before the game for my game day change ..

FAIL!

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#61 youguysarehotgarbage
November 02 2013, 08:40PM
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As a flames fan, i am wanting to see wins from you guys.

Do you realize how bad you need to be for this to happen,Detroit of a back to back and your supposed to be young fit team andthey jump on guys... wow

eakins might want mix some hockey stuff with strength and conditioning program

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#62 **
November 02 2013, 08:48PM
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this isn't funny anymore. THe Oilers should really consider bringing in a priest to spread some holy water in the dressing room and on the rink

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#63 Walter Sobchak
November 02 2013, 10:19PM
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Dallas Eakns is in way over his head!!

Completely out coached.

That, or the boys have tuned him completely out.

Is Brent Sutter available.

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#64 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:26PM
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kale wrote:

What is shocking is that the Oilers are a cap team

And that is on MacT.

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#65 Fresh Mess
November 02 2013, 10:37PM
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Taylor the Texter wrote:

Nice shot on HNIC of Hall texting on his cell in the press box OBLIVIOUS and visibly UNCONCERNED about the fate of his team. He is probably setting up Piggy Back Rides at the Cactus Club after the game to help rehab his ailing knee! He and his f$&;zing ego should be the first Oiler out of town. Coach killing aholes!

He's texting his agent saying "get me out of this hellhole YESTERDAY!"

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#66 FireKLowe
November 02 2013, 11:21PM
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Dan 1919 wrote:

I saw some positive signs in tonight's game. Just kidding, I didn't.

I'm sure JW and the rest of the homies from EJ will find positives ...

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#67 Btk1979
November 02 2013, 11:27PM
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We might as well get used to praying for Connor McDavid in two years.

http://www.eliteprospects.com/player.php?player=183442

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#68 spliff
November 03 2013, 06:43AM
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Saskguy wrote:

I didn't agree with the last 2 coach firings, but I gotta say, I think he should have came in as Ralphs assistant. I just hope this dressing room Isn't beyond repair. If it helps make a trade send Yak and who ever has the poorest attitude amongst Ebs, Nuge and Hall. They really miss Perron when he's not in the line up... GRIT

Which team will want Ebs, Nuge or Hall? All making 6 bills a year, and not showing they are worth that kind of coin.

The Oil have really painted themselves into a corner. I wonder how many interviews MacT had with Eakins before the was hired? Getting the right coach crucial, but from what I understand Eakins was hired after one interview. If that is the case, this is complete negligence by MacT. You'd think MacT would check out Eakins systems proposal and do a pros and cons analysis. It all smells like amateurville to me, but then why am I surprised. The management of this team has been amateurish for 20 years know.

Like many poster here, I am a lifelong diehard fan, and I keep hanging in there, checking the scores and trying to be hopeful, but last night's game was a real turn-off. I am getting closer and closer to apathy. The goal for an NHL team is to win the Cup, and Step One is making the playoffs. We are so far away from Step One, and have been for too long that whats the point in cheering for this team. What is the f*cking point in cheering for a team, whose management is so mediocre, that they can't get their team even close to the playoffs, in a league where 16/30 teams make the playoffs?

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#69 Loweblows
November 03 2013, 09:59AM
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Memo to city: Please do not release any funds for the new arena until we have assurances from Katz that the Oiler mamangement team be fired immediately and replaced with someone, anyone!

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#70 dasVedania
November 03 2013, 12:13PM
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Can we send Yakupov back to the KHL ? He's making Alexandre Daigle look like an all star.

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#71 Lowetide
November 02 2013, 01:45PM
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Wanye wrote:

I BEG YOU TO DRINK ROYAL RESERVE AND PEPSI FOR THE GOOD OF OUR OILERS

DONE!

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#72 bwar
November 02 2013, 01:45PM
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Wayne can you please write every GDB? This made my day.
I think Gregor has been the Oilers unlucky charm. 5-0 Oil. Eberle gets all five and Wayne wins $1,000,000 via Safeway Score and Win. Which he immediately invests the winnings in dry cleaning gift cards to ensure his jersey is never dirty again.

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#73 NJ
November 02 2013, 02:39PM
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I'm gonna change my game day ritual ...

I'm not gonna watch the game ... Seems like a good plan for the rest of the season actually.

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#74 Oilers G- Nations Poet Laureate
November 02 2013, 03:46PM
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Why would one switch from drinking Crown n Coke to Royal Reserve n Pepsi? I mean thats like switching from Timmies to that over-priced American Swamp Water*. Both are a MAJOR step down

* aka Starbucks

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#75 Dog Train
November 02 2013, 05:02PM
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Stupid CBC thinks I would rather watch the Habs and Avalanche tonight. No way Jose.

The three days off has me excited for this game. That will probably only last for a period or so but I am back on the kool-aid! The Oilers usually play the Red Wings tough so 4-3 Oilers in a shootout! I'll watch the game on the computer so if we win, I will have to get used to watching games on my computer.

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#76 God
November 02 2013, 05:08PM
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Wanye wrote:

WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE CORRECT

*Calls new friends at DailyFaceOff*

Relax, Wanye, that was a bada$s GDB, loving the alcoholic spin. I'm on board with the new good luck charms. Usually I watch drunk and fully clothed, tonight I'll be sober and naked.

Glad to see Schultrz Jr. out. They should have some cronies tie him to a chair and rough him up a bit. Either that or don't feed him for 3 days then throw him into a cage with a rabid hyena.

Make these Oilers MAD!!!

Get'er dun Oilers!!

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#77 Wonger
November 02 2013, 07:48PM
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justDOit wrote:

Why not bring back Stortini while you're at it? Just go down to the Petrocan on 111th and ask him in person!

He is playing for Anaheims AHL team in Norfolk! PS Don't put down people who work at gas stations. Pps Stortini will be joining the RCMP or OPP upon his retirement from hockey! WONGER KNOWS ENFORCERS!!! Any questions?

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#78 spawnlauncher
November 02 2013, 08:34PM
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Is there any way we can get NewAgeSys to coach the Oilers?

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#79 outdoorzguy
November 02 2013, 08:39PM
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@@Oilanderp

I'm switching to the Food Channel. I'll learn more and have more fun. Have fun you Oiler losers. You think a new arena will solve our crappy team? Good luck. This a Crappy team. WE ARE JUNIOR A. This is an even crappier organization!!!I. I'm out, got more pressing personal things to take care of before I give anything else to this Loser Lowe, drunk driver McTavish murderer leadership group!

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#80 OilersSuck
November 02 2013, 08:57PM
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youguysarehotgarbage wrote:

hahahaha...eat it oiler douche, tell me how good you'll be next year

right cause the flames are so good, they are gonna be competing with EDM for No. 1 overall by the end of the month

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#81 God
November 02 2013, 09:26PM
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Eakins is a bust. The team played much better under Kreuger. Sad to say it.

I was praying for them to sign Ruff or Torts. What a joke this team is.

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#82 Harry
November 02 2013, 09:38PM
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Did Hrudey honestly just say that Hemsky has one of the beat wrist shots in the NHL? What a complete TOOL

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#83 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 10:22PM
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This actually could be it for Eakins.

What else are they going to do?

In fact, while I don't think it's fair - they probably should fire him, but the ONLY coach under consideration should be Mactavish.

He and "Six Cups" built this mess, make HIM deal with it.

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#84 FireKLowe
November 02 2013, 10:23PM
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I'm sure the likes of Jonathan Willis and other homies will find positives from tonight's game and throw stupid corsi stats at us to show the team is improving. Please don't bother!!!

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#85 Gordie Wayne
November 02 2013, 10:43PM
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@Zamboni Driver

ummm...never mentioned Debrusk but now that you have, he is actually at the top of my list for people that should be fired. That guy is just BRUTAL! I usually have to watch the game with the TV muted.

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#86 Sarah
November 02 2013, 10:43PM
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Do the right thing Kevin Lowe RESIGN!

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#87 TonyT
November 02 2013, 10:52PM
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I'm not going to pretend I have an idea of what to do. I among many thought this team would be better. Injuries have depleted them, but this is a defeated team. It would be folly to panic, but I fear this "team" will never learn to win. The time for bold is now, it is not a shakeup, not a wake up call, but a plea for this team to wake up. These are desperate times, I tried one of the untouchables...

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#88 Greg
November 03 2013, 01:09AM
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it's getting bad when inside, you find yourself cheering for the other team. just so we as fans can prove our point.

i'll cry myself to sleep tonight, and i wont be using tissues from Rexall... Viva la Shoppers Drug Mart!

Oh, and i almost forgot.

FIRE KEVIN LOWE!

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#89 Headberg
November 03 2013, 01:54AM
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First time posting, follower of many years. Just felt like I finally needed to throw my 2 cents into the ring. Didn't follow the game tonight, intentionally, and by the look of things, boy am I glad. It feels great. Growing up on the Oilers religiously since the days of the Cape Breton Oilers, yes I am from Cape Breton, despite their deplorable performance in recent years, I have never felt as compelled to give them the middle finger as I currently do. I am proud that I was able to resist the urge of watching yet another gong show this evening, and nor do I intend on watching another game this season. Some might argue that I am misguided, but I feel as though I am a leading example, illustrating that the BS during the past 20 years, minus '06, is not acceptable, and I will not stand for it any longer. I've suffered long enough as a passionate loyal fan, receiving the brunt of jokes for many years, and I am done with this joke of a franchise until they become relevant again. Katz will receive no revenue from me any more, until this team demonstrates that they actually care about winning. I am done, and I leave with a big middle finger stuck strait up, pointing at the Oilers for all the lies and the complete indifference towards respectability. They do not deserve me as a fan, screw them.

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#90 Lars Eller
November 03 2013, 02:16AM
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Enuff said...I say no more

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#91 Serious Gord
November 03 2013, 07:44AM
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As bad as the oil are - and they are bad - I took a look at the records for the bottom dwellers in the east...

So much for parity - there is the whole spectrum in this league, with the sole thing lacking being a dynasty-type winning team.

There is however a dynasty losing team - and that is none other than the oil. Unquestionably the worst team of the cap era.

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#92 Loweblows
November 03 2013, 08:08AM
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GK1980 wrote:

The Oilers have become the nerd of the NHL. It's the kid on the playground nobody hangs out with and if a fist a cuffs occurs you want to make sure you DON'T lose to the nerd because 28 of your other buddies are standing around watching you. The Florida / Edmonton game should be fun, watching these two teams slap each other around and pull each others hair. Two of the NHL's nerds going at it while the 28 other teams stand around and laugh. Jebus!

Are you kidding me? We're going to get bitch slapped by Florida. To compare the Oilers to the Panthers is laughable. The oilers couldn't beat a ringette team right now. Everything and I mean everything is wrong about this team. Please Oiler players just go lose your effin games and keep your effin mouths shut after you lose. Your cliches make me puke. Can they play the remainder of the season without their crest on their jerseys? Please Katz take your effin team to Seattle and eff off! Robin Brownlee said this site shouldn't be a personal site to attack players and that it should be a site dedicated to hockey. Well guess what Robin , this effin team doesn't play hockey so what the hell are we supposed to talk about?

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#93 pelhem grenville
November 03 2013, 08:26AM
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hemi... I've never been well balanced...this team doesn't help that...I suppose neither will the leaves team but at least there aren't THREE HUNDRED+ sad a$$ fan comments I'll have to read after every game...

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#94 Quicksilver ballet
November 03 2013, 09:13AM
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29th place.....YES!

Don't act like we don't still need this.

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#95 Zarny
November 03 2013, 10:10AM
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spliff wrote:

Which team will want Ebs, Nuge or Hall? All making 6 bills a year, and not showing they are worth that kind of coin.

The Oil have really painted themselves into a corner. I wonder how many interviews MacT had with Eakins before the was hired? Getting the right coach crucial, but from what I understand Eakins was hired after one interview. If that is the case, this is complete negligence by MacT. You'd think MacT would check out Eakins systems proposal and do a pros and cons analysis. It all smells like amateurville to me, but then why am I surprised. The management of this team has been amateurish for 20 years know.

Like many poster here, I am a lifelong diehard fan, and I keep hanging in there, checking the scores and trying to be hopeful, but last night's game was a real turn-off. I am getting closer and closer to apathy. The goal for an NHL team is to win the Cup, and Step One is making the playoffs. We are so far away from Step One, and have been for too long that whats the point in cheering for this team. What is the f*cking point in cheering for a team, whose management is so mediocre, that they can't get their team even close to the playoffs, in a league where 16/30 teams make the playoffs?

Good grief, you can't be serious.

There are 29 other teams who would take Hall, Ebs or Nuge in a heartbeat.

Based on their career Octobers, Iginla and Luongo probably never play in the NHL.

I guess Phi should just waive Claude Giroux too lol.

Get a grip.

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#96 DSF
November 03 2013, 10:42AM
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Amidst all the teeth gnashing I thought some observations from the around the league might be of interest:

1) The Edmonton Oilers recorded 14 SOG last night. Alex Edler recorded 12.

2) James Mirtle ‏@mirtle

According to Elias Sports Bureau, Colorado is the fifth team in NHL history to begin a season by winning 12 of its first 13 games.

3) Terry Jones ‏@sunterryjones

Edmonton dropped from eighth to 14th in faceoffs in one game. Sam Gagner won one faceoff of 11 and wasn't sent to the dot in the 3rd period

4) Bob McKenzie ‏@TSNBobMcKenzie

CAR puts Brett Sutter on waivers.

5) Extra Skater ‏@ExtraSkater

Last night's possession all-stars (5v5 corsi): Hamhuis 89% (31-4), Tanev 87% (26-4), Drew Miller 86% (19-3), Santorelli 83% (24-5) Retweeted by Scott Cullen

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#97 PutzStew
November 03 2013, 12:04PM
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MattL wrote:

What exactly is firing KLowe going to fix about this team today? Do you mean you want a new GM? Do you want a better coach? Different players? Who do you suggest as replacements? Because if you fire KLowe, one or more of those things is probably going to happen too.

Or do you just want to see someone punished for hurting your poor hockey feelings?

None of the Above. The answer you are looking for is attitude and this poor attitude started at the top (See Mr. Six Stanley Cup Rings). To be honest if I was a fan anymore I would be calling for the head of Katz after he screwed you on the arena deal but hey what do I care. Those aren't my tax payer dollars.

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#98 Vincheese
November 02 2013, 01:15PM
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Remember there's one other guy working in hockey that has more cups than K-Lowe. so he knows a thing or two about winning.

Let's take a more recent approach. Is there even one more GM in hockey that's lost as much as Kevin Lowe has in hockey? Just sayin'........

That clip still makes my skin crawl.

In any case, the Oilers will get dominated tonight, as per usual. The not so obvious gameday prediction is that Stephen Weiss will come out of his slump to make things happen for Detroit offensively.

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