GDB 15.0: RED WINGS

Wanye
November 02 2013 01:09PM

 

Jason Gregor texted me to say "I have baby business to attend to on Saturday. Gregor 2,0 is only weeks away. I will need you to write the GDB for the Red Wings game." "Me?" we replied "last time I wrote a GDB people said it was silly and cried for you to write every one until 2099."

Well one doesn't argue with Jason Gregor if one hopes to be alive for the next Oilers win. So here goes nothing.

AND SO IT CONTINUES

How many ways are there to say that the Oilers rebuild is taking longer than it took to rebuild Europe after WWII?  At some point we start to scramble for new acronyms making a chase for last place an exciting proposition.

After the pantsing the Leafs gave the Oil on Tuesday - in front of LeafsNation Steve Dangle who had flown in for the match no less - it is hard to make bold predictions of Oilers wins. We sat there at Rexall Place, next to the King of all Maple Leafs fans watching them cheer and smile and raise their fists in triumph. We want that so badly for all our fellow Oilers fans it hurts.

Yes, if you told us "Wanye, all you have to do is get hit by a car and the Oil will turn around quick as a flash" we would run screaming from Wanye Manor and get hit square by the first motorcar we happened to see. Sadly it ain't that easy. But there are still things we can do as Oilers fans to try and turn the ship around.

In fact we have an idea.

AN IDEA

We hockey fans are a superstitious lot. Lucky underwear, lucky beer brand, lucky type of fur coat deodorizer. Cheering from the same seat on the couch. We all have some little foible we cling to in the hopes it makes our beloved Oilers win. Well Nation whatever we are doing is wrong.

We need to collectively reboot our lucky charms and send a wave of new karma out into the universe. Rather than focusing on what we don't want - more losses, more injuries, more Grebeshkovs in the lineup - we need to take new actions focused on what we want.

Wins.

Pictured at the top of the article is our most prized possession - our Eberle jersey purchased minutes after 14 scored his mind shattering first goal in the NHL. Thinking it was lucky we haven't so much as cleaned it once in the 4 years since. At the quarter pole of his 5th season it is clear the luck ain't working.

So we took the jersey to the cleaners on Thursday and got it back clean as clean can be. This was our major good luck charm these past 4 years and we wouldn't dream of doing this normally. But drastic times call for drastic measures. We invite you to reconsider whatever lucky charms you have and bring new ones out. The team needs it Nation. It's the only thing left we can think of doing.

Let us know if you think of anything you can do to reboot the franchise's luck. Burn your lucky drawers. Switch brands of game day beer. Remarry a new luckier wife if you think it will help. Just do something positive that is a break with the past.

We beg you.

LINEUP - GOOD

 

According to DailyFaceOff.com the Oilers are icing the forward corps above and the defensive pairings below. And according to the very same site Bachman will get the start in between the pipes tonight.

LINEUP - BAD

 

Forwards up, defense below and something called a Petr Mrazek will be tending for the Wings tonight. Poor bugger won't even have a chance. 

 

PREDICTIONS R US

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers win 4-2 shocking many including the Oilers themselves.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: During the second intermission Coack Babcock screams at Mrazek to step his game up to which the goalie tearfully replies "I don't even know who I am. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU START ME IN AN NHL GAME?"

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Hearing about the jersey cleaning Jordan Eberle pots a pair of goals. In the post game scrum he comments "I knew something was holding me back this year. Here all this time it was a ratty jersey covered in shots of Jack Daniels from the Pint. I wish Wanye had gotten his hygenic act together years ago."

Hearing my name mentioned by King Jordan I immediately transcend into a beam of pure joy and shoot into space.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#101 LJAC
November 02 2013, 01:23PM
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Lineups need to be slightly adjusted.

Perron out for the Oilers

Franzen out for the Wings

Get your game together Wanye!

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#102 Rama Lama
November 02 2013, 01:30PM
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No more predictions! It's causing the problems........now everyone retract your predictions, and the Oilers will dominate.

Anything less will ensure this train wreck in slow motion will haunt your dreams!

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#104 Mikey
November 02 2013, 01:38PM
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Wanye wrote:

Just got a text from my main man Rick at the Pint "Just found my '06 Western Conference Champions hat in the back of my closet. We have had bad luck since I bought it the day after we beat Anaheim. I just threw it out."

THATS THE STUFF RICK!

Not good enough, Burn it!!

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#105 Crondor
November 02 2013, 01:45PM
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WOW! The Oilers lineup tonight looks soooo sweet! All that offensive power! Speed! The Wings will be no match for our beloved. I have in my possession a cardboard sign made by my friend when he was hitchhiking back into etown during the '06 final. I've held onto it for many years, but this afternoon I plan on putting it in the fire pit. Go Oilers!!!

here is the sign http://www.flickr.com/photos/60404254@N00/10631665896/

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#107 mlcsellil
November 02 2013, 02:02PM
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OMG--getting away from tradition. I have worn my Oiler jersey since forever. If doing the opposite or something else unthinkable and outrageous, is going to be our ticket to get in the win column, then I must buy a Flame jersey. Jesus Christ have mercy on me. No, come to think of it I'd rather take the loss---can't wear anything Flames----GO OIL

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#108 DoubleA 34
November 02 2013, 02:31PM
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GDP a little boy sitting behind Dallas tells him that he sucks.

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#109 reaperfunkss (2nd tier fan)
November 02 2013, 02:36PM
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Kill me please...Stop me from watching tonight. I am weak and kinda dumb apparently cause I am drawn to the games. I almost get a giddy high when the opponents score now cause maybe that next goal against will cause significant change for the better.

Help me please...

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#110 R-DAWG
November 02 2013, 04:05PM
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"fur coat deodorizer"!!! Classic. The Oil are playing kinda douchey!

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#111 R-Dawg
November 02 2013, 04:24PM
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WheresYourTowel wrote:

To: Roughly 60% of the commenters

Is there a bus full of people that will die if you let Oilers fans have a shred of hope?

If so, great work.

It doesn't take a genius to predict the failure of a struggling team decimated by injuries. Don't feel too proud of yourselves.

Speaking of "fur coat deodorizers"!! here's Wheres your towel to spread the cheer!

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#112 K_Mart
November 02 2013, 04:37PM
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I just sent out props to every comment, good or bad. Even DSF. How's that for sending positive energy out into the universe.

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#113 Cynic
November 02 2013, 04:49PM
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I cherish my Steve Smith throwback jersey. I like sitting behind my buddy in the Grant Fuhr jersey.

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#114 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 06:29PM
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Puritania wrote:

Keeping with Wanye's wishes, I have switched to inhaling carbon dioxide and exhaling oxygen.

So you will become a potted plant - much like most of the sports journos in Edmonton.

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#115 Big Daddy
November 02 2013, 07:06PM
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Wonger Jr. wrote:

What a great game Tor- Van! See what happens when you have 8 JERKS on your team to agitate and fight! Oil need to pick up Joey McDonald off of waivers tomorrow. Also, when the Canuckleheads put Alberts on waivers soon ( fought Big Mac to a draw a few years ago) pick him up! I don't care if he can't skate- we need way more TOUGH JERKS on this team! WE NEED SOME JERKS WHO CAN FIGHT MAC T!!!! DESPARATELY!!! TOOTOO, Engelland , Alberts, Ott, Folignom Zack Smith,etc. etc. etc.

Wonger Junior sounds like a chip off of the old block- Wonger Sr. I agree! Let's get some TOUGH JERKS into this SOFT- except GAZDIC lineup!

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#116 justDOit
November 02 2013, 07:08PM
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@Wonger Jr.

Why not bring back Stortini while you're at it? Just go down to the Petrocan on 111th and ask him in person!

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#117 beloch
November 02 2013, 07:45PM
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The Wings played one solid period last night, but were otherwise pretty soft. They did, however, know how to take advantage of crap goal-tending. If Edmonton has a little net-luck for a change the Wings are definitely beatable.

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#118 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 08:44PM
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Bachman Turner Overweight fakes an injury to get out of Dodge before the Wings hit double digits.

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#119 FIREEAKINS
November 02 2013, 08:47PM
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EP wrote:

Joey MacDonald is on waivers- pick him up.

Yes because the Oilers need ANOTHER $hit backup goalie

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#120 Outdoozguy
November 02 2013, 09:12PM
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THE OILERS SUCK!!! The organization is a disgrace.

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#121 Outdoor guy
November 02 2013, 09:19PM
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Ari Gold wrote:

I'm watching, hoping, waiting for the fans to begin to boo and pull out the paper bags.

This is the sole reason why I'm currently watching.

An Oiler goal wouldn't even please me anymore.

I'm sick of the excuses. I just want them to lose brutally so there are no more 'we were out-finished' garbage. The Oil have been lucky to have been a part of the games they've played.

Nobody will boo. Everyone wants to go to an NHL game. Somebody will take the tickets. This organization sucks. Stay away, give Eakins a cheeseburger to put on some bulk. This is sad. Move the team to Kansas City. Then Katz might not get the cable feed!!

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#122 Reggi
November 02 2013, 09:20PM
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Fire Lowe , Bucky and Smith .

Now that is a good start for turning this team around.

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#123 Harry
November 02 2013, 09:22PM
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Please everybody

Stop going to Oilers games and do not buy anything with an Oilers logo on it. Enough is enough

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#124 Doug Diggler
November 02 2013, 09:24PM
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The oilers suck so much i'm starting to think about becoming a basketball fan... go raptors?

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#125 Newj
November 02 2013, 09:34PM
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I'm curious about what Tom Renney's thinking as he watches his Wings annhilate his former club?

I'm hoping he takes pity on us.

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#126 Ari Gold
November 02 2013, 09:46PM
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I have a sneaking suspicion that the Oilers don't have that many more injuries than all the other teams. I bet these players simply don't want to play. Playing on a team like this can kill your confidence and your career.

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#127 FireKLowe
November 02 2013, 09:52PM
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Fire Kevin Lowe immediately! He is the only common denominator in this "failed" rebuild. This is plain and simply embarrassing.

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#128 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 10:11PM
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Oh hey cute.

Hemsky is playing.

I had no idea.

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#129 Oilersfan4
November 02 2013, 10:12PM
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You know what's wrong with Edmonton sports team? Let's look at the Esks Kavis Reed, played 10yrs ago, Ed Hervey played 10yrs ago , now let's look at the Oilers KLowe, MacT, Bucky, Steve Smith and Katz still stuck in the past. NO one knows how the game is played NOW. Our sports teams seem to thing history matters, although all those championship are great nobody cares about yesterday it's all about today or tomorrow

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#130 FireKLowe
November 02 2013, 10:19PM
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Can everyone please stop going to the games and Rexall pharmacies!!! That is the only way Katz is going to get the message.

Thank you!

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#131 Oilers=bottom3rdofLeague
November 02 2013, 10:21PM
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The arrogance of the management in this organization will make every excuse in the book for their slow start. HEY IDIOTS, YOU GOT RID OF MAC T, A LINK FROM THE PAST AND WHAT YOU FOOLS DO, YOU BROUGHT HIM BACK!! This team can't get away from the old boys club if they tried. KEVIN LOWE IS A DISEASE TO THIS TEAM, AND SO IS BUCKY, SMITH AND OF COURSE MAC T!!

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#132 Rod from Viking
November 02 2013, 10:27PM
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5-0, Smid doing another inverted snow angel on the last goal, I've been watching this team for over 30 years and this is the worst effort ever, this team doesn't give a shi#, Gallager is small and has 7 goals, big heart and scrotum, something no Oiler has except Hall and Jones.

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#133 FireKLowe
November 02 2013, 10:34PM
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Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty) wrote:

The culture of losing persists......no hits, no fights, no crashing the net, no emotion, no nothing......nothing from the coach....nobody on the bench even seems bothered ...should be interesting to what MacT has to say post game.

Fire Eakins and the entire coaching staff after the game. How can these guys stand behind the bench completely emotionless? Unfkucin believable!!!

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#134 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:36PM
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Lots Of empty seats. Well deserved.

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#135 Doug Diggler
November 02 2013, 10:43PM
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oilers should have taken a page out of the flyers playbook and started a line brawl

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#136 lastpl4ever
November 02 2013, 10:44PM
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Next marketing idea pink third jersey as they play like a women's Jr team! Crest should be a broken heart to represent how they play with no heart or passion.Too many Barbara Ann Scotts on this team. Remember the glory days of Pat Quinn's first 10 games as coach.

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#137 Fresh Mess
November 02 2013, 10:45PM
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If Eakins gets sacked, Lowe should be demoted to head coach. Let him deal with the mess he created.

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#138 Alsker
November 02 2013, 10:46PM
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Doug Diggler wrote:

oilers should have taken a page out of the flyers playbook and started a line brawl

First we need 5 guys with willing to fight, there goes that idea(though I wish it were us not Philly able to do it).

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#139 Ryan2
November 02 2013, 10:46PM
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All I am going to say is Krueger had less to work with and got more in half a season without a training camp than Eakins has so far this year. This is a joke - there is no structure at all to the defensive play. You could see the players overthinking things at the start, now it looks like they have just given up on the masterful strategery of the coaching staff. Just like employees not following a weak manager at work, the players look like they are giving up on Eakins already. This team needs a more experienced coach that can command some respect from the players.

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#140 dougtheslug
November 02 2013, 11:14PM
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Something died inside of me tonight. I was at the game and left after the second period. The worst Oiler performance I've ever seen, and seen a lot over the past 35 years. Walking back through the blizzard, I really felt I can't do it anymore. I'm tired of caring more than the team does. I'm feeling more sad than angry, though. I think maybe it's just time to move on.

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#141 Time Travelling Sean
November 02 2013, 11:16PM
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Fresh Mess wrote:

He's texting his agent saying "get me out of this hellhole YESTERDAY!"

He's part of this hellhole...He's part of this culture, he's part of the on-ice product.

He shouldn't be so aloof/apathetic/lackadaisical about this mess he's the center of.

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#142 Sammy
November 02 2013, 11:31PM
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dougtheslug wrote:

Something died inside of me tonight. I was at the game and left after the second period. The worst Oiler performance I've ever seen, and seen a lot over the past 35 years. Walking back through the blizzard, I really felt I can't do it anymore. I'm tired of caring more than the team does. I'm feeling more sad than angry, though. I think maybe it's just time to move on.

I feel your pain Doug. I actually found myself laughing after the last couple of wings goals. It may have been have been the rye talking but I just don't care anymore. How sad is that 6 rings!!!!

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#143 rectal place
November 02 2013, 11:50PM
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Smokey wrote:

Thanx Anil boy. Its Tayler Hall fault I ain't spel to gud to.

Anil man. And you're welcome.

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#144 Yaz
November 03 2013, 12:38AM
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Circle Nov 16th on the calendar, HNIC and we're in Calgary. By then we'll be something like 3/16/2 and will get spanked again. If that doesn't get the good old boys network fired nothing ever will. There are no fixes out there, the coaches have long since lost the room and we've succeeded in turning our young guns into someone nobody will trade for. We're so screwed and nobody can fix it anytime soon. I am just so damn disappointed with this mess.

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#145 Buzz
November 03 2013, 01:22AM
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FireKLowe wrote:

I'm sure JW and the rest of the homies from EJ will find positives ...

Just got up to change my ATTENDS(plum full they were too). I read David Staples article in the EJ.

'FireKLowe' blogged above that the writers at EJ and the ESun imo would put a positive spin on the situation. Well, props to Staples. He, like Brownlee called it as they saw it. They both put the blame directly on the Katz/Lowe brainfart school of business.

A short read but Staples hit the proverbial nail on the head.

Katz and the 'Boys on the bus' need to go away.

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#146 Buzz
November 03 2013, 01:27AM
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Speaking of the Boys on the bus, didn't I just read somewhere that Katz and Lowe made room for Messire at the trough er...Rexall sports?

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#147 bazmagoo
November 03 2013, 01:41AM
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The players are rebelling against Eakins, another Kevin Lowe decision that has ruined another season.

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#148 BLAKPOO
November 03 2013, 03:56AM
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Zarny wrote:

I'm sorry but the panic is funny.

The team is struggling and the solution is to get rid of a guy who hasn't played since '98?

I hear ya. I've tried to make this point before too, but it's hard to argue when the team looks so terrible.

There does need to be a shake up. This team's so apathetic right now, there needs to be some kind of catalyst to turn this ship around. Even the call-ups don't look like they want to make this team.

Time to do something. Anything.

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#149 Devolution
November 03 2013, 06:38AM
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To paraphrase Andrew Ference in his 'After Hours' interview, Eakins is a good coach with a good plan. The problem is that not everyone is buying into the plan.

I think it is time to start sitting some of the worst offenders, and only Eakins really knows who they are. This season is a write-off anyway, might as well learn something from it.

Wow, season written off on November 2nd, a new record I think.

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#150 Reagan
November 03 2013, 06:52AM
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My season tickets were already dropped in 2008, after Mac T was let go and the carousel of coaches started. I knew back then it would get ugly, but didn't see this coming. Stopped buying seats to any single game as well. I sat in on a focus group for previous season ticket holders, to convince us to come back, recieved a 75 dollar gift voucher to the Oilers store. Bought a Oilers hoodie at the Kingsway location. Also that was the last purchase I made with this organization. That was done five years ago, and four coaching changes and dozens of players have now changed, but little change up top. For those last five years I went from watching 82 games to watching 60 or less. The Oil drop is slowly fading and I am losing interest. I read these comments here everyday and don't reply half of the time because my passion is gone. Something needs to change and holding on to all of the kids isn't the answer. They need men not boys to play this game, otherwise they stay the whipping boys of the NHL.

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