GDB 15.0: RED WINGS

Wanye
November 02 2013 01:09PM

 

Jason Gregor texted me to say "I have baby business to attend to on Saturday. Gregor 2,0 is only weeks away. I will need you to write the GDB for the Red Wings game." "Me?" we replied "last time I wrote a GDB people said it was silly and cried for you to write every one until 2099."

Well one doesn't argue with Jason Gregor if one hopes to be alive for the next Oilers win. So here goes nothing.

AND SO IT CONTINUES

How many ways are there to say that the Oilers rebuild is taking longer than it took to rebuild Europe after WWII?  At some point we start to scramble for new acronyms making a chase for last place an exciting proposition.

After the pantsing the Leafs gave the Oil on Tuesday - in front of LeafsNation Steve Dangle who had flown in for the match no less - it is hard to make bold predictions of Oilers wins. We sat there at Rexall Place, next to the King of all Maple Leafs fans watching them cheer and smile and raise their fists in triumph. We want that so badly for all our fellow Oilers fans it hurts.

Yes, if you told us "Wanye, all you have to do is get hit by a car and the Oil will turn around quick as a flash" we would run screaming from Wanye Manor and get hit square by the first motorcar we happened to see. Sadly it ain't that easy. But there are still things we can do as Oilers fans to try and turn the ship around.

In fact we have an idea.

AN IDEA

We hockey fans are a superstitious lot. Lucky underwear, lucky beer brand, lucky type of fur coat deodorizer. Cheering from the same seat on the couch. We all have some little foible we cling to in the hopes it makes our beloved Oilers win. Well Nation whatever we are doing is wrong.

We need to collectively reboot our lucky charms and send a wave of new karma out into the universe. Rather than focusing on what we don't want - more losses, more injuries, more Grebeshkovs in the lineup - we need to take new actions focused on what we want.

Wins.

Pictured at the top of the article is our most prized possession - our Eberle jersey purchased minutes after 14 scored his mind shattering first goal in the NHL. Thinking it was lucky we haven't so much as cleaned it once in the 4 years since. At the quarter pole of his 5th season it is clear the luck ain't working.

So we took the jersey to the cleaners on Thursday and got it back clean as clean can be. This was our major good luck charm these past 4 years and we wouldn't dream of doing this normally. But drastic times call for drastic measures. We invite you to reconsider whatever lucky charms you have and bring new ones out. The team needs it Nation. It's the only thing left we can think of doing.

Let us know if you think of anything you can do to reboot the franchise's luck. Burn your lucky drawers. Switch brands of game day beer. Remarry a new luckier wife if you think it will help. Just do something positive that is a break with the past.

We beg you.

LINEUP - GOOD

 

According to DailyFaceOff.com the Oilers are icing the forward corps above and the defensive pairings below. And according to the very same site Bachman will get the start in between the pipes tonight.

LINEUP - BAD

 

Forwards up, defense below and something called a Petr Mrazek will be tending for the Wings tonight. Poor bugger won't even have a chance. 

 

PREDICTIONS R US

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers win 4-2 shocking many including the Oilers themselves.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: During the second intermission Coack Babcock screams at Mrazek to step his game up to which the goalie tearfully replies "I don't even know who I am. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU START ME IN AN NHL GAME?"

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Hearing about the jersey cleaning Jordan Eberle pots a pair of goals. In the post game scrum he comments "I knew something was holding me back this year. Here all this time it was a ratty jersey covered in shots of Jack Daniels from the Pint. I wish Wanye had gotten his hygenic act together years ago."

Hearing my name mentioned by King Jordan I immediately transcend into a beam of pure joy and shoot into space.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#251 boxman
November 02 2013, 02:29PM
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Wanye wrote:

WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE CORRECT

*Calls new friends at DailyFaceOff*

Don't stress, you had some of the players right.

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#252 Gordie Wayne
November 02 2013, 02:30PM
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Wanye: I was filling with gas when the nozzle clicked off and I thought of you when I saw the resulting numbers. Maybe this is a sign??? Eberle and Yakupov to light it up tonight??? See the picture at the link below:


Eberle-Yakupov-Perfect-Fill

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#253 Alsker
November 02 2013, 04:14PM
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Ok Wanye, pulled out the huge Oiler flag I had in the front window for the'06 playoff run from its hiding place where its been since The Rakes trophy wife bitchslapped him out of town and rehung it in full view of the neighbours. Lady to my left asked if it had something to do with halloween, people across the street are pointing and giving me the headshake of shame. The jerk to my right(met once said he was from Cal. havnt spoken since) is rolling around on the front lawn splitting a gut. HAPPY WANYE!!! Piss on it, someone pass me another.

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#254 mrBacon
November 02 2013, 05:39PM
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@Wanye

If you're telling me I can't drink Jameson's in my tighty whities and throw the glass through my T.V. screen when the Oil lose than I'm telling you to go to hell. Seriously though I can only afford so many t.v.'s

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#255 justDOit
November 02 2013, 06:02PM
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@Dog Train

What region are you in?

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#256 justDOit
November 02 2013, 06:05PM
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@mrBacon

Flying shards of glass - exposed skin. At least cover up before you start hurling the tumblers!

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#257 Puritania
November 02 2013, 06:13PM
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Keeping with Wanye's wishes, I have switched to inhaling carbon dioxide and exhaling oxygen.

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#258 @Oilanderp
November 02 2013, 06:25PM
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Gordie Wayne wrote:

Wanye: I was filling with gas when the nozzle clicked off and I thought of you when I saw the resulting numbers. Maybe this is a sign??? Eberle and Yakupov to light it up tonight??? See the picture at the link below:


Eberle-Yakupov-Perfect-Fill

I was amused how your fuel may contain up to 10% ET! Do you drive a space-ship?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyFijjikkeM

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#259 justDOit
November 02 2013, 07:01PM
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I hope the Oilers don't go down tonight!

http://www.red-wings.com/images/RedWings.gif

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#260 Alsker
November 02 2013, 07:48PM
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In one final act to break the curse I rescue my Salo jersey from the world of mothballs. Holy sh%t, forgot it was a 3rd jersey..sweet..have no fear Tommy is in the house(providing Detroit doesnt shoot from center).

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#261 Butters
November 02 2013, 08:04PM
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My pre-game ritual consists of reading GDBs...ooops

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#262 RexHolez
November 02 2013, 08:08PM
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Just quickly logged on to note that I'm not watching tonight's game. Even though I have no prior commitments, for the first time in years, perhaps for the first time since childhood... doing some laundry, perhaps scrubbing the toilet sounds like a more appealing option to me than the agony of watching my team struggle to play a complete NHL calibre game yet again... 8 years later. Hey Wayne, how long did it take Europe to rebuild after wwII

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#263 I tried it at home
November 02 2013, 08:17PM
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Im the spirit of shaking it up and trying out some new pregame rituals, I have passed on Captain Morgans and switched over to Sailor Jerrys spiced rum. Anything to help the cause. GOILERS!!

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#264 LoweBlow
November 02 2013, 08:26PM
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2-0 Wings.

Loving the team D by the Oilers.

I thought Eakins was supposed to bring effort and accountability. What gives?

I guess you can't teach effort. Bring out the paper bags.

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#265 Oilersfan4
November 02 2013, 08:26PM
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Petry looks brutal and Bachman. Ahhhhhh here we go again

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#266 Hemmercules
November 02 2013, 08:27PM
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Petry. Not an nhl defenseman. Foolish me looking forward to another game. Got me again oilers you sneaky basterds.

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#267 BingBong
November 02 2013, 08:29PM
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Is this a joke? Is it April 1st? Did they really have 3 days off and start this badly?

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#268 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 08:29PM
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2-zip Wings. Looks like the oil have given up already. Hope the wings don't ease up, they can send a loud message to Katz about the abortion that is the oil; if he is tuned in from his palatial Vancouver home.

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#269 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 08:30PM
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Honestly blind-faithers - this has gotta be ridiculously hard to keep up.

Did people watch Van vs. Toronto - that game had nothing to do with a single game the Oilers have played in years. Fast. Hard hitting. Mean.

The Oilers.

Have "so much skill and upside".

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#270 Newj
November 02 2013, 08:33PM
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Oilersfan4 wrote:

Petry looks brutal and Bachman. Ahhhhhh here we go again

What's with Petry? He's handling the puck like its a grenade. How you fault Bachman though? A breakaway & then a point blanker in the low slot.

This could turn out to be a real &*%#show.

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#271 Dave "Killer" Carlson
November 02 2013, 08:36PM
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CBC has the Colorado/Montreal game on HNIC in Winnipeg tonight. I could stream the Oilers game on my computer but it's not worth the effort (sending this from my phone). Tonight, I'm choosing to be an NHL fan, not an Oilers fan.

Something has to give with this team. When it does, I'll watch again. Till then, I'm not going out of my way to watch.

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#272 BingBong
November 02 2013, 08:37PM
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Newj wrote:

What's with Petry? He's handling the puck like its a grenade. How you fault Bachman though? A breakaway & then a point blanker in the low slot.

This could turn out to be a real &*%#show.

Petry was our best d-man until about 3 games ago, when for some unknown reason he became our worst.

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#273 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 08:39PM
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Oiler's token forecheck pressure reminds me of a beer league team. 2nd division beer league.

Coach should call time out and the players should all get dressed and head home. Or to The Rack, before the kitties are all picked up.

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#274 Loweblows
November 02 2013, 08:39PM
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Looks like the detroit goalie is going to get a shutout in his first nhl game- a effin peewee goalie would get a shutout vs these pathetic losers- 5 effin minutes in and this game is over- this whole organization blows

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#275 LoweBlow
November 02 2013, 08:42PM
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I'm watching, hoping, waiting for the fans to begin to boo and pull out the paper bags.

This is the sole reason why I'm currently watching.

An Oiler goal wouldn't even please me anymore.

I'm sick of the excuses. I just want them to lose brutally so there are no more 'we were out-finished' garbage. The Oil have been lucky to have been a part of the games they've played.

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#276 June
November 02 2013, 08:45PM
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It is not fair Edmonton has to play NHL teams.

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#277 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 08:50PM
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The only good thing about tonight is that the Wings also play non-contact. The little kids on the Oilers will live to play another day.

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#278 Cubsfan
November 02 2013, 09:07PM
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Did we trade Babe Ruth or not let a goat in the stadium.....?

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#279 Johe
November 02 2013, 09:08PM
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*starts stabbing self in eye*

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#280 Oilersfan4
November 02 2013, 09:09PM
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Not even Don Cherry wants to talk about the Oilers mess on coaches corner. Didn't even give the Oilers the time of day. I don't blame him. I'm a fan and I'm embarrassed. Just like other fans my patience is wearing thin.

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#281 Wait until next year!!
November 02 2013, 09:17PM
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My eye started twitching after the second goal. Is this a sign?

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#282 Cubsfan
November 02 2013, 09:18PM
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Holy Cr*p...we're the team everyone plays their back up goalies against.....

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#283 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 09:19PM
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Sure Datsuyk is good.

But what does he think about Yakupov??

That's the important question, right Edmonton media?

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#284 LoweBlow
November 02 2013, 09:20PM
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This team is a joke.

The Wings are playing like garbage. Babcock will be furious with his team.

Still we're getting destroyed.

**puts on paper bag at home**

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#285 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 09:22PM
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@LoweBlow

The Wings are tired and bored.

And up 2-0 against the J-V.

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#286 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 09:24PM
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Wow Hrudey.

I know about the 'goalie club' but there is NO DEFENCE for giving up a goal from that far away.

Dude's job is to STOP the puck.

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#287 Andrew
November 02 2013, 09:24PM
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This is the worst owner, prez of hockey, GM and coaches in all of hockey. The Oilers have unquestionably the worst 'D' squad in the solar system. Smid and Petry are gutless and clueless on their positions. How the heck did they get this far? Nick Schultz would make a fair lawn jockey.

And Mact does.....nothing!

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#288 I tried it at home
November 02 2013, 09:26PM
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I dont know what Im getting more sick of, seeing other teams score on us, or hearing right after "his FIRST GOAL since coming back from whatever however long ago." What are we, E-Z goals R us? More rum....

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#289 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 09:27PM
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LoweBlow wrote:

This team is a joke.

The Wings are playing like garbage. Babcock will be furious with his team.

Still we're getting destroyed.

**puts on paper bag at home**

I just put on two paper bags in case one rips.

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#290 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 09:27PM
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This actually is getting hilarious.

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#291 spliff
November 02 2013, 09:28PM
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Wow are the Oilers terrible. No passion, no intensity and not enough effort. These players should be giving full effort in front of their long suffering fans, on a HNIC game, against a road-weary team. What I am seeing is shocking. How to MacT and KLowe explain this? We can't get another coach, so what happens now? And does anyone really care anymore?

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#292 Doug Diggler
November 02 2013, 09:28PM
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hrudey "oilers trying to get an energy shift," get real kelly this team hasn't seen energy outside the beer lines for years

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#293 Seriously
November 02 2013, 09:29PM
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I'm sure that they are on the bench trying to determine which bar they are going to after this poor pathetic excuse of a game!!! Reading all these comments about this s#!¥ team is more entertaining than the game! Keep them rolling in!! LOL

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#294 Zamboni Driver
November 02 2013, 09:30PM
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I wonder if season's tickets holders will notice the difference in smell before and after CFR?

Doubt it.

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#295 Jerod
November 02 2013, 09:33PM
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They have won 14 of there last 41 games at home. Perhaps this is a problem Kevin?

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#296 Seriously
November 02 2013, 09:41PM
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Newj wrote:

I'm curious about what Tom Renney's thinking as he watches his Wings annhilate his former club?

I'm hoping he takes pity on us.

Oh I'm pretty sure he is counting his lucky stars that he has nothing to do with this s#!¥ show anymore!!!!!!

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#297 Oilers=bottom3rdofLeague
November 02 2013, 09:44PM
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The Edmonton Oilers........ Where talent goes to die!!

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#298 oilredemption
November 02 2013, 09:51PM
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Boyd Gordon with the red wing flu too. I wonder if Katz ever even watches these games. The rest of us sit in our tightie whities with a glass of whiskey half empty in the dark muttering words that aren't even English anymore and suffering from severe depression. Like how could you even own a team like this and not cry yourself to sleep. I guess as the old sane goes... moneytalks

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#299 Rob Gilgan
November 02 2013, 09:56PM
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Out. Finished. What an awful hockey team.

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#300 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:03PM
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It's one thing to lose a lot, but to lose giving this kind of effort?

Unforgivable.

And morale destroying.

How many in the locker room during intermission are wishing they get traded before sunrise tomorrow?

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