GDB 15.0: RED WINGS

Wanye
November 02 2013 01:09PM

 

Jason Gregor texted me to say "I have baby business to attend to on Saturday. Gregor 2,0 is only weeks away. I will need you to write the GDB for the Red Wings game." "Me?" we replied "last time I wrote a GDB people said it was silly and cried for you to write every one until 2099."

Well one doesn't argue with Jason Gregor if one hopes to be alive for the next Oilers win. So here goes nothing.

AND SO IT CONTINUES

How many ways are there to say that the Oilers rebuild is taking longer than it took to rebuild Europe after WWII?  At some point we start to scramble for new acronyms making a chase for last place an exciting proposition.

After the pantsing the Leafs gave the Oil on Tuesday - in front of LeafsNation Steve Dangle who had flown in for the match no less - it is hard to make bold predictions of Oilers wins. We sat there at Rexall Place, next to the King of all Maple Leafs fans watching them cheer and smile and raise their fists in triumph. We want that so badly for all our fellow Oilers fans it hurts.

Yes, if you told us "Wanye, all you have to do is get hit by a car and the Oil will turn around quick as a flash" we would run screaming from Wanye Manor and get hit square by the first motorcar we happened to see. Sadly it ain't that easy. But there are still things we can do as Oilers fans to try and turn the ship around.

In fact we have an idea.

AN IDEA

We hockey fans are a superstitious lot. Lucky underwear, lucky beer brand, lucky type of fur coat deodorizer. Cheering from the same seat on the couch. We all have some little foible we cling to in the hopes it makes our beloved Oilers win. Well Nation whatever we are doing is wrong.

We need to collectively reboot our lucky charms and send a wave of new karma out into the universe. Rather than focusing on what we don't want - more losses, more injuries, more Grebeshkovs in the lineup - we need to take new actions focused on what we want.

Wins.

Pictured at the top of the article is our most prized possession - our Eberle jersey purchased minutes after 14 scored his mind shattering first goal in the NHL. Thinking it was lucky we haven't so much as cleaned it once in the 4 years since. At the quarter pole of his 5th season it is clear the luck ain't working.

So we took the jersey to the cleaners on Thursday and got it back clean as clean can be. This was our major good luck charm these past 4 years and we wouldn't dream of doing this normally. But drastic times call for drastic measures. We invite you to reconsider whatever lucky charms you have and bring new ones out. The team needs it Nation. It's the only thing left we can think of doing.

Let us know if you think of anything you can do to reboot the franchise's luck. Burn your lucky drawers. Switch brands of game day beer. Remarry a new luckier wife if you think it will help. Just do something positive that is a break with the past.

We beg you.

LINEUP - GOOD

 

According to DailyFaceOff.com the Oilers are icing the forward corps above and the defensive pairings below. And according to the very same site Bachman will get the start in between the pipes tonight.

LINEUP - BAD

 

Forwards up, defense below and something called a Petr Mrazek will be tending for the Wings tonight. Poor bugger won't even have a chance. 

 

PREDICTIONS R US

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers win 4-2 shocking many including the Oilers themselves.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: During the second intermission Coack Babcock screams at Mrazek to step his game up to which the goalie tearfully replies "I don't even know who I am. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU START ME IN AN NHL GAME?"

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Hearing about the jersey cleaning Jordan Eberle pots a pair of goals. In the post game scrum he comments "I knew something was holding me back this year. Here all this time it was a ratty jersey covered in shots of Jack Daniels from the Pint. I wish Wanye had gotten his hygenic act together years ago."

Hearing my name mentioned by King Jordan I immediately transcend into a beam of pure joy and shoot into space.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#301 Loweblows
November 02 2013, 10:05PM
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Cubsfan wrote:

Holy Cr*p...we're the team everyone plays their back up goalies against.....

Actually he isnt even a backup- he was a last minute callup from their farmteam

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#302 Fred
November 02 2013, 10:06PM
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How much do they pay Kevin Lowe?

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#303 Time Travelling Sean
November 02 2013, 10:10PM
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Loser team.

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#304 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:24PM
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5-0 2 shots in ten minutes of the third.

This is

Rock.

Bottom.

Heads Have To ROLL.

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#305 kale
November 02 2013, 10:25PM
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What is shocking is that the Oilers are a cap team

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#306 Alsker
November 02 2013, 10:27PM
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Sounds like I should be glad I had family sh^t to do tonite and haven't heard/seen anything of the game. Is it too late to ask if ANY Oiler actually showed they cared tonite.

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#307 Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty)
November 02 2013, 10:28PM
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The culture of losing persists......no hits, no fights, no crashing the net, no emotion, no nothing......nothing from the coach....nobody on the bench even seems bothered ...should be interesting to what MacT has to say post game.

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#308 Harlie
November 02 2013, 10:29PM
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OUR GOAL IS

KLOWE - Win the Stanley Cup

MacT - Make the Playoffs

Eakins - Win a Game

Oilers - Break a Shutout

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#309 Alsker
November 02 2013, 10:30PM
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Serious Gord wrote:

5-0 2 shots in ten minutes of the third.

This is

Rock.

Bottom.

Heads Have To ROLL.

I thought the leafs game was rock bottom...maybe bring up the whole OKC team coachs and all and see what they can do??? If someone isnt fired by Monday AM or traded than Katz must step in.

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#310 Cynic
November 02 2013, 10:31PM
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"Like how could you even own a team like this and not cry yourself to sleep. I guess as the old sane goes... moneytalks."

He's wallet-raping your ma and pa for a new arena. That's how he sleeps at night.

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#311 Ivan Drago
November 02 2013, 10:31PM
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All right. Eff this and eff Tuesday night as well. I'm off to play NHL 14 where MY fantasy oilers actually win sometimes, and in which I try harder than the plugs on this team.

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#312 Gordie Wayne
November 02 2013, 10:32PM
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The only thing worse than watching the Oilers get schooled by the Wings, is watching them with Rick Ball and Kelly Hrudey blathering on about how terrible the Oilers are...please tell us something we don't know...

Oh, and now Belov hurt...for f%^& sake.

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#313 @Oilanderp
November 02 2013, 10:33PM
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AAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAAAAA

*cries self to sleep*

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#314 Rod from Viking
November 02 2013, 10:34PM
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Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty) wrote:

The culture of losing persists......no hits, no fights, no crashing the net, no emotion, no nothing......nothing from the coach....nobody on the bench even seems bothered ...should be interesting to what MacT has to say post game.

Mac T hasn't done an interview since? Now Belov injured, what kind of "After Hours" lip service is their captain going to give.

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#315 Crusty Grit
November 02 2013, 10:34PM
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This has to be some sort of psychological experiment. Nothing else makes sense at this point.

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#316 Gordie Wayne
November 02 2013, 10:34PM
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At first I thought Gregor was a bit nuts with his "dressing room cleanse" or whatever he was calling it, but it might be time to try something as stupid as that...can we please just make it out of this game without someone else getting hurt...this team must be cursed.

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#317 Nick
November 02 2013, 10:35PM
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Wake the hell up. What a bunch of losers. Still stuck with that god dam junior mentality. No heart no desire to win. A disgrace to watch.

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#318 Doug Diggler
November 02 2013, 10:39PM
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Alsker wrote:

Thought Bachman was starting? Oh, 5-0, I understand

Bachman left due to injury

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#319 Ari Gold
November 02 2013, 10:40PM
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This team is complete garbage.

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#320 Yayayayippeee
November 02 2013, 10:40PM
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14 shots...... enough said.

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#321 Serious Gord
November 02 2013, 10:43PM
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Listening to 6:30. Where's stauffer?

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#322 Seriously
November 02 2013, 10:45PM
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What an "F"n joke!!! Look at "six cups" and Mac Trash sitting emotionless on HNIC!! the oxygen level that high up in rexall must be sparse, because it is obvious that there "rebuilding" has FAILED!!

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#323 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 10:48PM
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It's a lucky break that the Wings were a tired squad at the tail end of a 3 in 4 night stretch. This game could have been 10 zip. Should have been 10 zip. Still, the day of reckoning remains Nov. 16 when the Flames pound the final nail in Lowe's coffin. If changes are coming they will come by Nov. 18. Is it too late to apologise to Horcoff? He wasn't the problem after all.

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#324 Rod from Viking
November 02 2013, 10:48PM
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Thank God game is over, HNIC switched to Colorado-Montreal and it looks like another win for Avalanche, didn't they finish below the Oilers last year and brought in a new coach and doesn't Joe Sakic only have 2 rings? How are they ahead of Edmonton?

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#325 oilredemption
November 02 2013, 10:51PM
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MacT right now should be going all Jackie moon on this team, laying in a dumpster eating the remains of what seems to be a pancake and trading away the coffee blacks before he screws up these young men's career. I want BOLD!

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#326 Dan 1919
November 02 2013, 10:52PM
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I saw some positive signs in tonight's game. Just kidding, I didn't.

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#327 Alsker
November 02 2013, 10:53PM
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Fresh Mess wrote:

If Eakins gets sacked, Lowe should be demoted to head coach. Let him deal with the mess he created.

And give him an excuse to fire MacT for assembling a team without veteran leadership. No, Kblowe deserves another press conference to explain why the Oil have become epic failures under his watchful eye. That or he turns in his parking pass and cleans out his office.

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#328 Oilersfan4
November 02 2013, 10:54PM
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At this rate we well surely land Connor McDavid next year

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#329 Ari Gold
November 02 2013, 10:54PM
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Rod from Viking wrote:

Thank God game is over, HNIC switched to Colorado-Montreal and it looks like another win for Avalanche, didn't they finish below the Oilers last year and brought in a new coach and doesn't Joe Sakic only have 2 rings? How are they ahead of Edmonton?

Exactly!!!!!! That's what I've been saying!

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#330 Reg Dunlop
November 02 2013, 10:55PM
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Dan 1919 wrote:

I saw some positive signs in tonight's game. Just kidding, I didn't.

Dan, I don't prop easily but that was funny.

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#331 Andrew
November 02 2013, 11:04PM
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Kevin wrote:

He's polishing Katz's shoes.

Hey, those shoes aren't going to polish themselves.

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#332 WinterNightSky
November 02 2013, 11:04PM
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Gordie Wayne wrote:

The only thing worse than watching the Oilers get schooled by the Wings, is watching them with Rick Ball and Kelly Hrudey blathering on about how terrible the Oilers are...please tell us something we don't know...

Oh, and now Belov hurt...for f%^& sake.

I like this a lot better than Kevin Quinn and Louie DeBrusk blowing sunshine up our asses. It sounds like honesty.

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#333 Buzz
November 02 2013, 11:09PM
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Oiler fans if you want to see changes , boycott this gongshow organization. Stop giving Katz your hard earned dollars. He might have to stop bathing in Krugerands. Boo freaking hoo...

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#334 Btk1979
November 02 2013, 11:11PM
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Reg Dunlop wrote:

I give full credit to Ference for facing the HNIC panel after that debacle. Doesn't he know he will be late to the nightclub? Taylor Hall's sloppy seconds for the captain.

I respect Ference as well. He could have many excuse to avoid the interview. Too bad no one else in management takes responsibility.

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#335 Phil
November 02 2013, 11:12PM
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Kevin wrote:

good one- I think we should start marketing these paper bags. Make a killing $$. We could negotiate a deal with Katz to sell them at Rexall.

Use Rexall pharmacy bags instead!

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#336 jimmy
November 02 2013, 11:12PM
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Kevin wrote:

He's polishing Katz's shoes.

i was gonna say something else....

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#337 Todd
November 02 2013, 11:29PM
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Phil wrote:

Use Rexall pharmacy bags instead!

That would be money... Fans start showing up at the games not wearing paper bags on their heads, but Rexall branded bags.

Maybe Katz would finally start firing his 80s buddies if his precious 'brand' starting taking a hit.

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#338 Cubsfan
November 02 2013, 11:31PM
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just tuned into 630 to listen to Stauffer and even Brown being Oiler apologists.....that schtick's getting old too......what a difference an employer makes.......

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#339 6Rings
November 02 2013, 11:36PM
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That was unwatchable but I watched it all. Absolutely abysmal. Pathetic. Totally unprofessional effort. Where the hell is the compete? The try?

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#340 FIRE ALL BOYS ON THE BUS
November 02 2013, 11:42PM
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Todd wrote:

@WANYE - For the next photoshop contest.

http://i.imgur.com/1XIyPjN.jpg

What a joke.... No words. I did see this link before the game and it made me laugh. Maybe we all need a laugh (at Kevin Lowe's expense)

http://i.imgur.com/1XIyPjN.jpg

good work by whoever made this...

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#341 Alsker
November 02 2013, 11:48PM
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dougtheslug wrote:

Something died inside of me tonight. I was at the game and left after the second period. The worst Oiler performance I've ever seen, and seen a lot over the past 35 years. Walking back through the blizzard, I really felt I can't do it anymore. I'm tired of caring more than the team does. I'm feeling more sad than angry, though. I think maybe it's just time to move on.

Man do I feel your pain and conflict. Been there done that, wether a sports team/employer, its all the same. You want to make it better but a) how can you b) why should you care more than those who can do something....you can only hope that kBlowe and friends feel even worse when they get belittled in public for the pain they have inflicted on you and others like us.

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#342 Naky
November 03 2013, 12:35AM
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I'd almost rather forfeit all the games then have to watch this crap every other night. If you're not gonna put in any effort when you play, you may as well be honest about it up front and just wave the white flag without even trying.

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#343 6 ring circus
November 03 2013, 12:46AM
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Is it to late to ask for a refund on my season tickets?

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#344 DCC
November 03 2013, 12:47AM
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6Rings wrote:

That was unwatchable but I watched it all. Absolutely abysmal. Pathetic. Totally unprofessional effort. Where the hell is the compete? The try?

If memory serves we were promised "compete" this year, if nothing else. Once again the Edmonton Oilers over-promise and under-deliver.

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#345 peppran
November 03 2013, 01:05AM
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Oldboys club wont trade "the future"...the future looks bright..i wont even play nhl14 with this team:-)

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#346 bwar
November 03 2013, 02:22AM
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bwar wrote:

Wayne can you please write every GDB? This made my day.
I think Gregor has been the Oilers unlucky charm. 5-0 Oil. Eberle gets all five and Wayne wins $1,000,000 via Safeway Score and Win. Which he immediately invests the winnings in dry cleaning gift cards to ensure his jersey is never dirty again.

Guess I kind of had that score backwards.

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#347 Too Toxic To Continue
November 03 2013, 03:08AM
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Hey Mr. Lowe. I am here to inform you that there is a THIRD tier of fan... Former !!!

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#348 TDSM31
November 03 2013, 03:51AM
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Well, that was worth the 5 hour white knuckle drive back home to Chestermere...Oilers, you owe me my hour of daylight savings back, mutherf*ckers.

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#349 hemi
November 03 2013, 05:03AM
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Like the vast majority of loyal Oil fans, I really am finding that this year has been the hardest to be supportive to the team. Drinking the Kool-Aid just doesn't do it anymore. Could this be the year that fans like me finally say the hell with it? Sure is starting to feel like that. Bloody depressing!

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#350 spliff
November 03 2013, 05:23AM
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MacKinnon from the Journal wrote " the fans do want to be entertained, do expect the costly visit to Rexall Place to be memorable, a showcase for emerging talent, if not always a winning experience."

100% true. The Oilers have sucked, with the exception of 2006, since 1993-94. Thats twenty years of mediocrity. This catastrophe isn't on Eakins, this mess is on Kevin Lowe, Howson and MacT, who have absolutely no idea what they are doing. All the fans want is a decent, competitive team that plays hard and has a reasonable shot at the playoffs each year. Lowe and his buddies have proven, time and time again, that they are not capable of doing this. Katz needs to get an experienced GM with a proven track record of success and fire Lowe, because his position is redundant anyways. If we get qualified people running the hockey ops, this franchise can get back on track. But Katz will have to fire his buddies.

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