GDB 12.0: SLUMPBUSTER

Wanye
February 10 2013 01:18PM

A slumpbuster is defined as "something way below your normal standards that you know you can win at." You take what you can get to get back in the game. That's todays game vs Columbus in a nutshell. And its a matinee too. *yawns*

To the casual fan a game like this could be described as "skippable" and "probably boring." But not here among the OilersNation hardcore who live and die with every match - even a puzzling pair of afternoon matches in a single weekend must be watched from start to finish.

Its well known that the Oilers have a 0-1,235 record in matinee games in franchise history.* They are usually emotionless affairs that are forgotten quickly afterwards. That will probably be the case today too - Columbus is still probably seething from losing to the Mighty Oil in the Draft Lottery last year but are too toothless to do anything about it.

Coming in stone cold the Oil have to lay a beatdown on the hapless Blue Jackets today. Oilers fans have watched the last 10 days or so frozen in horror. Will this be another year where we have to make up slogans to give some sizzle to the annual tank campaign?

Or will the Oil catch fire and climb back into playoff contention? A serious beatdown of the Blue Jackets getting things back on track is exactly what the doctor ordered. Then another pantsing back in Edmonton next game too.

Losing this match is not an option.

LINES

We have no idea what the lines are today. You want lines? Ask Jason Gregor. We shoot from the hip son - not from the brain. Here are the lines from last game, lets just pretend they will be the same for the sake of argument. It's not like lines last very long when you are trying to play your way out of a losing streak anyways.

Hall-Gagner-Hemsky
Hartikainen-RNH-Eberle
Yakupov-Smyth-Paajarvi
Eager-Vande Velde-Petrell

PREDICTION THINGIES

This too is the domain of an expert like Jason Gregor but he INSISTS they are included in all GDBs even ones he can't write as he is in Calgary calling the Rush game. How the heck are we supposed to predict what's going to happen. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW DAMMIT?

Ahem.

Here goes.

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers dust Columbus 6-2. The Nuge breaks out with a pair of goals and celebrates with ice cream on the way home from the rink.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Within 5 minutes of the telecast starting some announcer will say "Imagine Yakupov was a Blue Jacket?" picking the lowest hanging fruit on the proverbial branch early.

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Steve Tambellini runs into Scott Howson in the press box prior to the game. Tambellini flashes his trademark smug grin recalling besting Howson at the Draft Lottery last summer. Howson - knowing his days as a GM are numbered - dissolves into tears and curses Tambo at the top of his lungs. History will remember neither man.

*Or worse even, where would you even look something like this up?

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#101 spliff
February 11 2013, 08:21PM
Trash it!
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trashes
Cheers
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cheers

As Al Davis once said, "just win baby."

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