OILERSNATION 5th BIRTHDAY PARTY

Wanye
February 22 2013 05:00PM

 

They say that Birthdays were invented by Wall Street as a way to sell more candles. And who are we to argue? As a five year old we couldn't possibly argue with something as sophisticated as Wall Street.

BACKSTORY

OilersNation.com launched November 27, 2007. 49 people came that first day and we almost had a heart attack with joy. The only writer back in those days was a composite author that was half Bingofuel and half Wanye that we mystifyingly called "The Nation". But we bickerered back and forth with Bingofuel wanting on our own writer name until we hit the jackpot with this gem of an article on March 9, 2008

The fellows who started bring94home.com were kind enough to let us post here when they started up this site, so away we went.

We aren’t professional anything, but we can slam a beer and throw a punch at your sister faster than you can believe—guaranteed. And we can’t say enough good and bad things about the Oil and the OilersNation. We aren’t a fan of any particular player, coach or GM. We just live and die cheering for the jersey, and anyone lucky enough to wear it and call Edmonton home. So if you keep reading, we'll keep writing. Even if Robin Brownlee is better than us, though we would never tell him that.

Good gravy. Referring to yourself in the third person? Threatening to punch someone's sister in the face? What an amateur hour it was back in those days.* Sidebar: Every single one of the three comments on that article are all me pretending to be different people. Back in those days we had like 8 different aliases and would often flame war with ourself in the comments section to give the illusion of traffic.** Oh the fun we had.

PRESENT DAY

Technically the 5th birthday of the Nation Network has come and gone back in November. But because of the lockout we let the occasion pass with little fanfare. Then we set to work trying to line up a primo celebrity to come to our 5th birthday party and that didn't pan out at the last minute. This is what being 5 years old is all about - never getting your own way and accidentally peeing your pants in rage.

The Oilers have been basically crap the entire lifespan of the site and are suspiciously starting to point the nose cone of the USS Oilers Hockey Club towards the ground this year too. And when the Oilers start to tank we know exactly what to do don't we Nation.

Just keep the faith and keep drinking.

PARTY TIME

To celebrate being 5 years old we are throwing a party at the Pint on Whyte one week from today. 

There will be a pair of Jasons in attendance - Jason Gregor live broadcasting his show and Jason Strudwick too fondly remembering his stint as house DJ at the last nation party which got crazy out of hand towards the end and resulted in our Australian Brother Sam Brown winning a dance off and impregnating 3 separate women in attendance with his mind.

There are only 150 tickets - $20 each and with that you get a limited edition 5th Birthday T-Shirt, a $25 Oodle Noodle GC, a $20 Pint GC, and Labatt swag! 

And all of the money will go to supporting the Inner City Children's Program per the directives of the saintly Jason Strudwick.

Click here to buy tickets and may the Gods have mercy on your soul.

Its gonna be off the hook - come celebrate like you would at any 5 year old's birthday. Full throttle. 

*And still today and in 5 years and forever

** Feels good to admit to that 5 years later

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
February 22 2013, 05:05PM
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the number of hours i have wasted here over the last 5 years would be so sad to see

edit: i still blame mact

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#3 Hemmertime
February 22 2013, 10:53PM
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Wanye wrote:

Ah dear bingofuel. Gods work we did in those early days. Remember how all of our fake commenters had distinct personalities? LOL

Now Im paranoid that its just me on this site and Wanye in his basement writing as hundreds of names

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#4 bingofuel
February 22 2013, 05:22PM
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Holy shitsnacks, those were good times. remember the crummy little office we did all of our schemes in? With the shag carpet covered in motor oil and tim hortons crumbs — literally, the crumbs from tim horton's mummified corpse?

I hope to make it out to the party, Wanye. I'm in school (yes, school) until 9pm that day!

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#5 Archaeologuy
February 22 2013, 07:29PM
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *Birthday Groin Thrusts*

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#6 Love Monkey
February 22 2013, 09:40PM
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I just bought all the tickets and will be scalping them outside the door... EVIL LAUGH!!! Going to be a hot ticket!

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#7 Quicksilver ballet
February 22 2013, 07:16PM
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Is this a potluck?

I'll bring enough ceasar salad for 100 if need be.........or i can bring 6 SS Tiramisu cakes.

Beat that Wanye!

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#8 The Beaker
February 23 2013, 08:12AM
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RSD wrote:

Wayne, is one of your multiple personalities DSF? That woulld be freaking hilarious. =D

I'm sure Wanye doesn't have enough time to look up all those stats AND find the optimal way to be annoying with them.

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#9 bingofuel
February 23 2013, 10:01AM
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Wanye wrote:

Ah dear bingofuel. Gods work we did in those early days. Remember how all of our fake commenters had distinct personalities? LOL

You had an uncanny ability to partition these fake people off in your brain. I'm just glad you never started referring to them as "wanye's children"

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#11 treblecharger
February 23 2013, 05:07PM
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First site I hit, every goddamn day for almost 5 years. Congrats Wanye & the Nation!

"We aren’t a fan of any particular player, coach or GM. We just live and die cheering for the jersey, and anyone lucky enough to wear it and call Edmonton home" made me oddly verklempt.

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#12 A-Mc
February 22 2013, 05:10PM
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Sounds like an excellent adventure of a night!

Maybe i'll check with the boss to see if i can get the night off =D

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#13 RexLibris
February 22 2013, 05:23PM
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Congratulations to you, Wanye, and the Nations all!

The internets were a barren wasteland before you came along.

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#14 Citizen Alpha
February 22 2013, 05:48PM
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bingofuel wrote:

Holy shitsnacks, those were good times. remember the crummy little office we did all of our schemes in? With the shag carpet covered in motor oil and tim hortons crumbs — literally, the crumbs from tim horton's mummified corpse?

I hope to make it out to the party, Wanye. I'm in school (yes, school) until 9pm that day!

Ghost ride that whip, baby.

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#15 Mouse
February 22 2013, 07:03PM
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I don't know if I should come. I ate lunch the other day with wanye* and now that I know who he is, it kind of ruined it for me. If I go and see him sipping an appletini or a light beer the whole stigma of wanye could be ruined...

* Well ate four feet away from him and his bearded ladyfriend (I assume all wanye's friends are hot babes)

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#17 DSF
February 22 2013, 08:09PM
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Wanye wrote:

Ah dear bingofuel. Gods work we did in those early days. Remember how all of our fake commenters had distinct personalities? LOL

What happened to the "personalities"?

Looks like the venerable ON could use a few right now.

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#18 freeze
February 22 2013, 08:22PM
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Why is it while I'm on vacation?! I so rarely get to wear my superhero costume to the pub!

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#19 geoilersgist
February 22 2013, 10:17PM
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So Wayne has used his evil mastermind to create the one and only DSF!!!!

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#20 dougtheslug
February 23 2013, 02:04AM
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DSF wrote:

What happened to the "personalities"?

Looks like the venerable ON could use a few right now.

Hey!That must be DSF in the photo.The kid in the green and blue striped shirt sulking because he wanted the red and green balloon hat instead of the lightweight, defensively leaky purple balloon sword. And crying even though he is surrounded by a bevvy of smiling babes.

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#21 RSD
February 23 2013, 02:05AM
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Wayne, is one of your multiple personalities DSF? That woulld be freaking hilarious. =D

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#22 lolhockey
February 23 2013, 05:21AM
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To celebrate ON's 5th birthday, can we bring ballsy back to the comments section?

Ballsy.

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#23 Spydyr
February 23 2013, 08:24AM
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Will there be a DSF pinata there?

I'm sure a few commentators would like to take out Some frustration on it.

You could charge 20 bucks a swing.All for charity of course

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#24 D
February 23 2013, 09:56AM
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If I recall, the Oilers' 5th NHL birthday party was quite spectacular as well.

Nice work gents - you do a great service for everyone.

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#25 Minister D-
February 23 2013, 09:58AM
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As a brand spanking new Edmontonion, I expect that the ON will put its best foot, fist, and/or pint glass forward on this august occasion. I do hope the Oilers choose to 'show up' that night, also.

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#26 bingofuel
February 23 2013, 09:59AM
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Citizen Alpha wrote:

Ghost ride that whip, baby.

You know I always do

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#27 Oil Fan in Ottawa
February 23 2013, 10:36AM
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Oh how I wish I lived in Edmonton! I'd be at EVERY nation party!

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#29 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
February 23 2013, 12:14PM
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Wanye wrote:

LOL no but I like DSF truth be told. Someone needs to wear the black hat and though I think he is completely insane he is at least respectful and I appreciate that he stirs the pot. Sometimes the pot needs stirring.

aka- his milkshake brings all the boys to the yard... err, i mean he always brings in alot of traffic with his shenanigans

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#30 Puritania
February 23 2013, 12:50PM
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Let's get this party started!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-W8xb5lJS4

Congrats Wanye and crew, I got you a Baxter Stockman action figure, they were all out of Mondo Gecko.

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#31 Milli
February 23 2013, 05:13PM
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Oh man it's been 5 years? WOW!!! The time and hours I've wasted here trying to get various coaches fired, Ryan Smyth brought back....now about winning that Stanley....

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#32 rubbertrout
February 26 2013, 11:02AM
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Speaking of personalities, where are the Enders of yesteryear?

I miss that guy. Anyone know?

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