GDB 17.0: AFTERNOON DELIGHT

Wanye
February 23 2013 12:44PM

The Oilers play the Coyotes today in your classic garden variety matinee. This is great news for the Oilers who are a mind shattering 0-2346 in franchise history in afternoon matches.

Fortunately the NHL schedule makers in their infinite wisdom have decided that the Oil need to get over this en route to their eventual domination of the NHL and have put a good many afternoon games on their lockout shortened 2013 schedule.

GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS GOOD NEWS

The good news: Ryan Michael Stewart Jones (actual name) is back in the lineup for the Oilers after missing the first 16 games of the season with an injury sustained when a stick? skate? meteor? smashed him near his eye hole. The Return of the Flow can only be considered good news for an Oilers lineup that needs a bit of sand paper these days. The fact Jones potted 17 tucks last year is also good news for the team too which is inexplainably lacking offense in the past couple of weeks.

The bad news: Taylor Hall is serving the first game of a two game suspension for his hit on Cal Clutterbuck. Apparently "what goes around comes around" wasn't a sufficient defense strategy for the Oilers in defending #4 so he will be sitting somewhere in the building wearing a snazzy suit and will get the obligatory camera time where he looks remorseful whilst watching his team compete.

LINES

Per warmup:

Eager - L'il Nuge - Eberle

Hartikainen - Gagner - Hemsky

Eager - Belanger - Jones

Yakupov - Vande Velde-Paajarvi (not confirmed)

It's unclear who the fourth line will be as of the time this article went to press and has not been released by the Oilers for this early game. Petrell is slated as good to go on the Oilers website but a tweet from the official Oilers account said that he has been placed on the injured reserve list. Confusing times these!

We can't find any mention of the D-pairings being released either yet either but you can probably count on:

N.Schultz-J.Schultz

Smid-Petry

Fistric - Potter

Khabibulin gets the start between the pipes

PREDICITONS

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Despite the fact that logic and experience states this will be a snoozer we will go out on a limb and say that the youthful Oilers catch the flat lining Coyotes napping and win 5-2. Goals by Eberle (clearly) Smyth, Nuge and J. Schultz. Ryan Jones will also pot a marker in his first game back.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Gene Principe will have some hilarious insight into the return of Ryan Jones. This could involve a wig of some variety or a pun involving "keeping up with the Jones." In either case half the Oilers fans watching will groan with pain and the other half will cheer with delight.

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: In the post game interviews Ryan Jones will let it slip that his eye injury was self inflicted and his time out of the lineup was unnecessary. "I heard about the Hair Massacre and wanted nothing to do with chopping of my signature flow. So I faked it. So what? There was a lockout and I wasn't going to play that many games anyways." In an adjoining room, Steve Tambellini asks for a chair so that he can sit down and properly assess the situation.

NATION 5th BIRTHDAY PARTY UPDATE

See this here beauty? That's UFC Ring Girl and Maxim Model Arianny Celeste. She is in Edmonton for an event on March 1st and the kind folks at the Rack are going to bring her by Pint on Whyte to pose for pictures and say hello at some point during the birthday party.

"We can't imagine too many girls are going to the party Wanye," we were told by text "so we thought we would bring in an all world hottie to say hello. Maybe it will inspire you to talk to a girl yourself later in the night."

Classic.

Tickets can be bought for only $20 and come with a limited edition 5th Birthday T-Shirt, a $25 Oodle Noodle GC, a $20 Pint GC, and Labatt swag. And all the proceeds go to the Inner City Children's Fund. You should come - there is going to be at least one mega babe in attendance!

*swoons*

Click here for tickets.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 TOM//MTL
February 23 2013, 01:21PM
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@Mark-LW

Every time I see your avatar I throw up in my mouth a little bit

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#2 TOM//MTL
February 23 2013, 12:45PM
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Eager for Mayor !!

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#3 DSF
February 23 2013, 01:03PM
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EricOG wrote:

I panicked for a moment there, having bought tickets for the game and just now preparing to head down to the house that Katz Built...

The House that Bill Hunter built.

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#6 Mark-LW
February 23 2013, 01:18PM
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53.5714° N, 113.4560° W

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#7 vetinari
February 23 2013, 01:18PM
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Fantastic ploy guys... Hope that the 'Yotes read this site, and show up at the wrong stadium and have to forfeit... Classic! Also may be the only way that we pull off a W today...

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#8 Dave Lumley
February 23 2013, 01:37PM
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GDP - Score 0-0

Shoot out going deep into Sunday morning with no one left to record the final score.

OGDP - Alberta Health expense claims box suite as a sleep study. Expense claim approved.

NSOGDP - With no one left in the rink, Hall dresses and scores the winner wearing jersey number 20, recording the only Belanger tally of the year.

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#10 Dave Lumley
February 23 2013, 01:52PM
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Wanye wrote:

Post warmup the lines listed are now correct and confirmed and the location of the game has also been confirmed as Edmonton.

Cool, Eager gets extra ice time, 1 st and 3rd line winger. Crack out the O2.

More toughness in the line up! Maybe he should spell off Harti as well now and then.

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#11 The Soup Fascist
February 23 2013, 02:05PM
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Any ideas for a website to stream the game on this here Internet thingy?

A) I have no ability to work google effectively

B) Am unable to be near a TV

C) Threw my tickets away when I heard the game was moved to Phoenix

D) Am a glutton for punishment

E) All of the Above

Thanks folks.

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#12 Unhealthy scratch
February 23 2013, 02:20PM
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Kleenex peyotes

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#13 Harlie
February 23 2013, 02:22PM
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Wanye wrote:

Phoenix? Then again I seem to think everything is in Phoenix today.

You mean the House that Bettman built?

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#14 RexLibris
February 23 2013, 05:16PM
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The Isotopes win a game!

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#15 DSF
February 23 2013, 12:52PM
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The game is in Edmonton.

At Rexall Place.

118th Avenue.

Gretzky Drive.

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#16 EricOG
February 23 2013, 12:54PM
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DSF wrote:

The game is in Edmonton.

At Rexall Place.

118th Avenue.

Gretzky Drive.

I panicked for a moment there, having bought tickets for the game and just now preparing to head down to the house that Katz Built...

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#17 TOM//MTL
February 23 2013, 12:57PM
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T5B 0R5

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#18 Hall for Captain
February 23 2013, 01:02PM
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Hung over Wanye?

The game is at Rexall and Hall will not be on a line with Ebersqueee & Lil Nuge as per suspension you mentioned in the previous paragraph.

*slaps face* WAKE UP MAN!!!!!!

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#19 Ales Hallsky
February 23 2013, 01:03PM
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WTF?

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#21 alledmonton
February 23 2013, 01:08PM
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Wanye, if you're going to write something, at least get facts right. Your lines are wrong - Hall is not playing. Did you know the game's in Edmonton? You must be bored already.

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#22 Sox and Oil
February 23 2013, 01:12PM
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Whatever, Wanye made a boo boo (ha Honey Boo Boo - she's so crazy) who cares?

#mailitinmatinee

#eatsh!tmatinee

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#25 The 'Real' Ron Burgundy
February 23 2013, 01:14PM
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@WANYEGRETZ

LESS THAN ONE HOUR TO B_TCH AND MOAN IN THE COMMENTS SECTION OF THE GDB IS BOARDER-LINE UNACCEPTABLE

FOR BEING THIS LATE - MAY THE FLIES OF A 1000 DEAD CAMELS INVADE YOUR ARMPITS

OGDP - BECAUSE ITS AN AFTERNOON TILT, THE OILERS/COYOTES OFFENSIVE PROWESS HAVE ME SLEEPING BY 1:55 MST.

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#26 EricOG
February 23 2013, 01:16PM
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DSF wrote:

The House that Bill Hunter built.

How dare you say that!!

Daryl Katz is a saint, and an all around nice guy who will take the Oilers to unexpected levels never seen anywhere.

However,it is yet to be determined wether they will be levels of greatness or otherwise.

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#27 Sox and Oil
February 23 2013, 01:24PM
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NotSoObviousGameDayPrayer - Could we please trade for Ekman-Larrson today before the game if not kidnap him if not some kind of parent trap switch involving Whitney...

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#28 Smytty's Jibs
February 23 2013, 01:26PM
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@TOM//MTL

Hey! Mr. Tencer just talked about how being mean on the internet is wrong!

Be nice to him and his ugly face!

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#29 Alsker
February 23 2013, 01:28PM
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Thank you Wanye your oops(if it truly was one) will probably be the most entertaining thing this afternoon..heres hoping im wrong but..

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#30 Shane
February 23 2013, 01:40PM
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.

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#32 Dog Train
February 23 2013, 01:44PM
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This should be an awesome way to spend an afternoon. Typical snoozer. Yotes win 2-1.

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#33 Harlie
February 23 2013, 01:49PM
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any guesses on Whitney's next place of residence?

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#34 Dave Lumley
February 23 2013, 02:09PM
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@The Soup Fascist

http://atdee.net/60309/watch-phoenix-coyotes-vs-edmonton-oilers

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#35 Mike Krushelnyski
February 23 2013, 02:12PM
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They cut away from the blue jays preseason game for this crap?

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#36 oilcan
February 23 2013, 02:20PM
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awesome...oilers carry early play..hemsky turns a soft one over at the blueline and they score a greasy goal ...Wayne ..we dont need your predictions...nothing against Ralph but does anyone doubt we would better off with a guy like Ruff behind the bench

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#37 The Soup Fascist
February 23 2013, 02:21PM
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Dave Lumley wrote:

http://atdee.net/60309/watch-phoenix-coyotes-vs-edmonton-oilers

Thanks much

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#38 DSF
February 23 2013, 02:24PM
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@Harlie

The House that Bettman Bought

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#39 Alsker
February 23 2013, 02:25PM
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Belanger keeps his streak intact

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#40 Oilersfan4
February 23 2013, 03:12PM
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Oilers are brutal, they are so boring to watch. Only one player has stood out this afternoon Ryan Jones

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#41 keilan
February 23 2013, 03:34PM
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After all these years of drafting 1st overall and 4 years into the rebuild there is Smyth on the 1st line.

This organization is brutal

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#42 Johe
February 23 2013, 04:49PM
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Look happy guys! We won! We won da hokkey!

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#43 Slats
February 23 2013, 04:54PM
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Gagnsqueeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....

Time for some "afternoon delight . . ." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-YZqH0vX_o

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#44 Dog Train
February 23 2013, 05:20PM
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This road trip will be really telling about where this season is headed. I actually think that we stand a solid chance of winning on Monday. Not holding my breath for a big road trip with games in Dallas and Minnesota on this trip though.

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#45 MarcusBillius
February 23 2013, 05:52PM
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keilan wrote:

After all these years of drafting 1st overall and 4 years into the rebuild there is Smyth on the 1st line.

This organization is brutal

Oh for Chrissake let's be fair here. Hall is suspended, and Smytty was a hell of a hockey player. Even diminished, he can still contribute in ways.

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#46 Paul K
February 23 2013, 06:11PM
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Trade Sam Gagner and Oilers 2nd round pick from Anaheim 2013 for Ryan O'Reillly.

Begin turning this team into a playoff team

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#47 a lg dubl dubl
February 23 2013, 06:48PM
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Paul K wrote:

Trade Sam Gagner and Oilers 2nd round pick from Anaheim 2013 for Ryan O'Reillly.

Begin turning this team into a playoff team

So you want a Lindros 2.0,over a guy whos leading the team in points right now, please explain yourself.

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#48 Paul K
February 23 2013, 06:53PM
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Always 2 sides of a story regarding O'Reilly. However if they conclude he is a head case I would not make the trade.

To get to the Cup you need a two center who is gritty on your top 2 lines. Gagner is not that center nor is RNH at the moment. If Gagner played Center with J Toews I would say you don't need to trade him.

Take a look at winners of the Cup lately they all have that 2 way center.

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#49 vetinari
February 23 2013, 07:01PM
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Why would we trade away our 22 year centre who's leading the only team that he has always played for, for another team's contract holdout?

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#50 Paul K
February 23 2013, 07:06PM
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First of all this is a business, second O'Reilly would make this team better.

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